Kimber

by Sarah Denier

  It’s unlike any fight I’ve ever seen. Luke defends himself and against anyone else he would have already won. But Leo, he’s just stronger, faster and coordinated. The way he moves is precise. It’s effortless violence. He barely breaks a sweat. He exerts no more energy than he would if he were opening a box of cereal.

  Leo hit’s Luke with an upper cut and lifelessly Luke tumbles to the ground.

  “Stop!” I yell running to Luke’s side and fall to my knees. Leo stands over me dazed, his eyes an ominous gray. “Stop, you’ll kill him!”

  Luke chokes on every breath. I can practically hear the blood gurgling in his lungs as he tries to breathe. He’s swollen and covered with blood. His blond hair is sickly red. His lips are split from top to bottom. I don’t need to look under his shirt to know his torso will be one large bruise. He holds one hand over his right eye and the other on his chest.

  I reach in my pocket and retrieve my phone. As soon as it’s in my hand, Leo pulls it out.

  “He needs to get to a hospital!” I protest.

  “Go back upstairs. I’ll take care of it.” His voice is shaky. After what I’ve just seen, maybe I’m not safe down here, with him.

  “What are you going to do?” I ask not sure I really want to know. In Mob movies, when people take care of stuff, not everyone comes back, alive.

  Leo reaches for me but when he realizes his hands are covered with Luke’s blood, he pulls away.

  “Go upstairs Kimber. I don’t want you involved.”

  I look down at Luke. He lies helpless and I can’t hold anything he’s said or done to me against him. He needs me. I know leaving him with Leo isn’t a good idea. He needs a hospital and fast.

  I look at the painted numbers on the ground. To my left is number five twelve. I know what I have to do.

  “It’s a little late for that, now help me move him over to my car.” I motion to my BMW four spots down. Thank goodness for magnetic key holders. I move my hands under Luke to grip him under his arms.

  “I’ll go.”

  “No! We’re in this mess because of you. Now, help me.”

  Reluctantly he helps me. He offers to follow me there. I decline and inform him that I will be at the hospital until I know Luke will be ok. Regardless of what Luke has done, he’s been my friend. The one who stood by me at my mother’s wake. The one I feel I owe.

  As soon as I arrive at the E.R a team of doctors and nurses assess Luke’s injuries. X-rays show a broken nose, fractured collarbone and four broken ribs, one of which punctured his left lung.

  As he is taken away to surgery a nurse stays with me for a full explanation of why and how this all happened. I stutter uncontrollably. I hadn’t anticipated needing a cover story. I rack my brain for a believable explanation. Mugging. Attached by five men. Fell off a roof. Hit by a car. Wrong place at the wrong time. Anything that would fit the injuries Luke has.

  “Um. He ah, fell.” I offer as an explanation.

  It’s completely obvious to her I’m lying and that thinking quick on my feet isn’t my forte. Guess I can cross that off my list of possibilities.

  “Kimber!”

  I turn to see Leo sprinting into the waiting room. Oh thank God! I sigh with relief.

  “What’s going on? Is he ok?” Leo asks the nurse. I can’t decipher if his actions are real or forced.

  “Who are you?” The nurse asks.

  “Leo Chambers. Luke Sephner is my cousin. Is he ok?” Leo’s response is quick and believable. So believable in fact that for a minute I find myself questioning if they really are cousins.

  “Are you aware of what happened to your cousin, Mr. Chambers?”

  I freeze. The nurse gives Leo the once over. A foul look distorts her face. I turn to Leo and see the same incriminating evidence the nurse sees. Blood! Blood I hadn’t noticed a moment ago. Luke’s blood covers Leo’s hands, arms and his light gray T shirt. Why hadn’t he changed or washed it off? I feel the same foul but guilty look fill my face.

  “We were four wheeling. Luke tried some trick he’d never done. It all happened fast after that.” Leo looks at me. I nod and turn back to the nurse. His lie is flawless. He even manages to appear genuinely concerned. Maybe he is.

  Right away, the nurse seems to buy it. She informs us that as soon as a doctor has anything to report on Luke’s condition we’ll be notified.

  Hours crawl by. Three hours and twenty-three minutes to be exact before Luke is in recovery and placed in the intensive care unit. Luke’s surgeon informs us that the biggest threat was the hole in his lung. Luke was to remain in ICU until his vitals improved.

  I lie to the doctor, telling him I’m Luke’s sister, since only immediate family is allowed in the ICU. I don’t ask Leo to come.

  Luke’s face is wrapped in bandages and white gauze. His body thankfully covered with a soft blue wool blanket. I touch his hand ever so slightly so I don’t disturb the IV’s that are placed in his right arm.

  “I’m so sorry Luke.” I whisper in his ear.

  Before I leave, I jot down my number and I ask the nurse watching over him to contact me with any changes.

  “How is he?” Leo asks as I enter the waiting room.

  “He looks horrible.”

  I want to collapse into Leo’s arms but I know that can’t happen. Leo’s arms are no safe place, not after what I witnessed them do to Luke.

  “He’ll pull through. Luke’s too stubborn to let me have the last word in anything.”

  I roll my eyes at him and turn to leave. Can he not comprehend how close to death he beat his ex best friend?

  “Kimber.” Stupidly I stop and wait for what he’ll say. “Will you come with me?”

  “After what you’ve done, honestly, no.” I walk out of the hospital weak, exhausted and stressed out.

  Back at my condo I keep my cell phone close in case the hospital calls. I turn on the TV though nothing on it interests me.

  I drown out the sound with troubling thoughts. I can’t shake what Lena said. Something about Leo and how he’s different. Even Luke had his roundabout way of saying it. Had I witnessed it? Sure Leo can fight like no one I’ve ever seen but does that really qualify him as different?

  And what about my memory? For months I’ve just assumed, idiotically, that my mother’s death and the traumatic stress brought on by it, caused some sort of memory lapse. But it’s a lie. No stress, traumatic or not, only blocks out one person though years of memory. Something happened. Only one person has answers. If I wish to keep what sanity I have left, I have to face the answers head on.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I WAIT FOR Leo in the public parking area on Madeira Beach. It’s after eight so I don’t have to feed the meter. The parking lot is scantily lit.

  I can remember so many nights spent on this beach staring up at the stars and wondering where fate would lead me. According to Leo, my suggesting this beach came as no surprise. Apparently, it was a favorite of ours. So he says.

  Ten minutes later his enormous truck pulls in and my heart accelerates. Stay focused, I remind myself but it doesn’t stop the nerves. I thought that by wearing jeans, flip flops and a white baby doll tee, I’d set a casual tone for the meeting. The moment I see him it feels intimate. I tuck misplaced hairs behind my ears.

  Thankfully Leo showered, cleaning the blood from him. His dark faded jeans sit just right on his hips and aren’t too tight or too baggie. His blue and white stripped polo make his electric blue eyes radiate. It’s now I realize that they’re always different colors.

  As he steps away from his truck, I smell him. Bijan Black. I don’t know where I know it from but I’m positive it’s the cologne he wears. It isn’t overpowering but subtle, allowing me to enjoy it’s sweet, black aroma. Everything about him makes me want more. I manage to remind myself that I’m here on business, not pleasure.

  “You wanted to see me?”

  He stops a few feet in front of me. I drink the sight of him in. Tall, blazing blue eyes, mouth set i
n a straight line. He looks away like he can’t be bothered to look at me the way I’m looking at him.

  “You wanna take a walk?” I ask looking out at the empty beach. Somewhere in me I know it isn’t a smart idea but even death at his hands would mean he’d have to touch me.

  “I thought you were afraid of me?” His brow twitches but only on the word afraid. He’s besting me.

  “I guess I’m a risk taker.”

  He laughs. “ No you’re not.” He retorts walking ahead of me. I follow him.

  We walk down the beach until the dim parking lot lights become lost in the night. We trek through the sand until finally Leo stops in front of the shoreline.

  The ocean is black under the moon’s light. The white caps of the waves are barely seen as the ocean meets land. I peer up toward the dark sky lit by dozens of tiny little shining stars. I close my eyes and listen to the ocean. A soft breeze brushes my face just as I inhale its aroma.

  Leo stands stiff, hands in his pockets. I don’t imagine he sees what I do as he looks out over the water. With good reason. This very body of water almost took his life. Suddenly I regret asking him here. Why did he even come? I wonder what he sees as he looks out over the water. Death? Fear? Life? Does he feel grateful or wish it had all ended that day. I wish I could touch him without feeling as though I can’t let go. If I could only see inside him.

  “I keep fighting it, but, I need to know you.” I can’t be vulnerable but I can be open minded. With Leo I don’t think there’s any other way. He has to know he can trust me.

  Without facing me he turns his head to the side, his stance unchanged. “I don’t know that I want to know myself anymore. Nothing’s right.”

  “Are you talking about Luke?”

  He nods, looking back out at the water. “We came up together. I know the kid better than I know myself. How could I lose control like that?” He turns to me. His brow furrowed in frustration.

  I step closer. “Emotion took over. Some people even black out when that kind of thing happens.” I haven’t got a clue if it’s the right thing to say but it’s something.

  He sighs and turns back to the water. I run my fingers through my wind tangled hair. I don’t know how to make him feel better. I don’t know that I should. What he did, how he did it, it was malicious.

  “You made me a promise, the one you’ve been keeping, what was it?” I wait but he doesn’t respond. “Leo?”

  He turns to the sound of me calling his name. He studies me, looking at me as if it’s the first time. A smile just about makes it onto his lips. He walks towards me stopping as the tips of his sneakers meet the tips of my sandals. I look up and into his hazel eyes. His hands run up my arms until they cradle my face. The feel of him is intoxicating and I can’t help but lean in. Every ounce of my skin vibrates with a warm feeling. I fight the urge to grab him.

  “You thought I’d die. That you’d lose me. You waited for two days, suffering with thoughts I’ll never know.” He caresses my face and smiles with such fondness. I long for the memory he’s recalling. “I swore you’d never feel that way again. I’ve kept that promise.” He drops his hands from me and steps back. “Until now.” His arm brushes my shoulder as he walks past.

  At first I don’t know what’s happened. I’m so transfixed on him, his words echo in my mind.

  “No!” I turn and run after him. “No!” I yell again as I come up behind him, shoving him in the back. He keeps walking. I run in front of him but he walks around me. Air begins to rush in and out of me.

  “Why do you keep doing this?” He doesn’t stop to answer me.

  I scramble my brain to come up with something that will make him stop. I can’t figure him out. Hot. Cold. With every step he takes a part of me breaks.

  I’ve been afraid of feeling the way I do now, for this reason, yet it’s snuck up on me. I’m everything I said I wouldn’t allow him to make me into. The emotion I’ve fought, but it was just an illusion. You can’t fight something as strong as what I have. I know how I feel, terrifying as it is; I still can’t force myself to speak the words I know would stop him. I cannot knock the wall down.

  I walk back down to the shoreline. I sit just out of the waves reach. Here I stay for who knows how long, listening to the sound of the waves roll in and the thump of my revived heart missing its mate.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I WAKE THE next morning with a full list of things to do. It’s the only way I can insure my mind stays busy and off of certain people. By that I mean just the one, starting with the letter L followed by EO.

  First I call the hospital. From the sound in the background, the hospital is buzzing with commotion. Busy Monday I guess. I tell the nurse I’m Luke’s sister and learn that there has been no change in his condition. On a positive note, the sheer fact that he made it through the night is a good sign. I request to be informed upon any change good or bad. Second, I plan a much needed shopping list. It’s a pathetic attempt. I must be the only girl who has to make a lame to do list in order to forget about a guy who I’ve legitimately forgotten once already.

  I text Amber telling her I need to meet up, apologize and reorganize my brain. Forty minutes later I’m outside Amber’s house beeping the horn.

  Like me, Amber comes from a broken home. The only difference is that she was raised by her father. Her mom walked out on her when she was little, favoring her pill addiction over her family. Amber’s dad, Edward Dawson, or Mr. Dawson as I call him, is what I expected my father would have been like. Respectable, reasonable and wrapped around his daughters little finger. He’d never have to worry about Amber though. She’s as smart as she is blond. Her personality is the kind that lights up dark rooms.

  Amber comes out of the house in a military green romper with a chunky brown belt and nude wedge sandals. Always fashionable. Compared to my, I’m confused but it’s complicated, look. Tattered jean shorts and purple Rocky Mountain tee my mother got me from North Carolina. At least I feel as horrible as I look.

  We drive downtown to Dills. It’s a simple little hole in the wall lunch spot. They have the best broccoli and cheese soup served in a sour dough bread bowl. We grab a table outside on the sidewalk.

  “Ok, so I’m so very, very, very sorry I took off and left Miami.”

  “Why did you just take off?”

  “Luke and I had a fight.” Amber eyes me. “Ok, a big, nasty, word calling, fight. And I might have slapped him.”

  Her eyebrows rise in disbelief before she retains her composer. “You ditched me.”

  “Then I ran into someone.”

  “Leo?”

  “Yeah.”

  “The guy you can’t remember?”

  “Yes. The problem is, he’s all over the place. Hot, cold. Up, down. And hey, how come you remember him and I don’t?”

  “Luke was talking about it. All Leo this and Leo that, the whole way back. The name finally triggered something and boom!”

  “Why can’t that happen for me?”

  “I don’t know, but it’s weird. Like everything about him was erased.”

  “Exactly! Anyway, there’s something about him, I think…I know I still care about him. But he’s all, misleading. It’s like he can’t get far enough away while leaving a bread trail behind him. Ya know?”

  “Kimber, I am no expert when it comes to men. I can’t make a relationship last three weeks, you know that. Men are illusive. They’re the jack of all trades. You deserve someone who’ll want to follow your bread trail. What I remember of Leo is he’s a good guy but he’s not an open book.”

  “See, that’s why I love you. Only you can manipulate dated clichéd metaphors in such fabulousness.”

  Amber and I finish lunch and follow it up by strolling around downtown, going in and out of shops. By day’s end I feel like me again. I grasp it for all it’s worth because by the end of what’s to come I might not know who I am.

  By Wednesday evening, I’m standing in line at the airport waiting to go thr
ough security. The ticket in my hand says it’s round trip to New York. I can’t sit around expected to accept the lack of sensibility and unable to receive answers I’m deserved. If disappearing is Leo’s only solution then Lena is my backup.

  On Thursday morning, I’m on a bus headed to the Adirondacks. The six hours and four stops seemed worth it. There’s no way I could have driven myself up the mountain. Not without freaking out and getting myself killed.

  The sight of the mental facility is one of pleasure as my taxi pulls in front. I’m exhausted and linger with the smell of shady bus stops.

  Signing in is the same as before although the person behind the reception desk is different. He’s of medium height and I suspect a few years older than I. His complexion is fair and freckly. His fire engine red hair is slicked back. He wears a hunter green Polo with the facility’s logo. His name tag says his name is Neil. A small faint smear of eyeliner shows on his lower left eyelid. He looks flamboyant. As he greets me it’s clear Neil like’s to hit the clubs, mostly the one’s filled with single men. He comments on never seeing me before. I brush it off. He goes on to tell me how Lena is one of his favorite people. I smile. Overall I like Neil. He’s out going and not pushy or judgmental like Yolanda. He hands me a visitor’s pass and tells me to look for Lena in the garden.

  I take the back door Lena and I had used before during my last visit. I walk out into the vast open garden. I stand for a moment looking for her. I’d forgotten how big the garden is. I look by the gazebos and benches but see no sign of Lena. Before long, I’m wondering if I’ve wondered too far.

  “Kimber!” I hear Lena call from my left.

  I turn to see her sitting with someone beneath a large tree. I hadn’t warned Lena of my impromptu visit. I figured she’d either see it or be off guard. I was hoping for the latter. Now I feel silly. Here she is with a friend or perhaps someone she’s mentoring and I’m intruding.

  Lena gestures for me to join her. I walk over to where she sits on a red and white checkered picnic blanket. Great, not only am I interrupting but I’m crashing lunch too.