The Closer You Come

by Gena Showalter

  "Truer words have never been spoken," she said, and he wished she'd sounded as if she believed him. "But right now I don't have time to listen to you wax poetic about my awesomeness. Brook Lynn woke me up while you were sleeping and told me about her new business idea--making and delivering sandwiches. We're partners, and we're calling it You've Got It Coming. She baked the bread, cooked and spiced the meats, and even mixed the condiments before crawling back into bed with you. I'm putting everything together to hand out as samples to the people in town."

  And he'd slept through it all, which shocked him. Considering how much time he'd spent wondering when he would next be attacked had made him a light sleeper. Guess he was more comfortable here than he'd realized.

  "You guys are destined for success." Though he hated to lose Brook Lynn as his non-wife wife.

  "I will not fail her," Jessie Kay added staunchly.

  He needed to get home and check on West, but he found himself saying, "Anything I can do to help?"

  She tossed him an evil grin. "You are so gonna regret asking that."

  Together they made thirteen sandwiches, everything from a ham, egg and cheese bagel to a huevos rancheros wrap for the breakfast lovers, and roast pork with pickled cucumber to smoked salmon salad sandwiches for the lunch crowd. He felt it was his duty to test most of the ingredients for poison, the same way Brook Lynn once tested baked goods. He was diligent like that.

  "You're eating our profits, you douche," Jessie Kay finally cried, throwing a handful of cheese shreds at him. "And I will get them back, whatever it takes!"

  He laughed and threw a pickle at her. She was reaching for a slice of bacon when Brook Lynn walked in, wearing a tank, a pair of short pink shorts and fuzzy house boots. He hardened instantly.

  She pasted a too-bright, clearly fake smile on her face. "Morning."

  "Uh-oh. Warden's here," Jessie Kay said, the food fight over before it had really begun.

  "So the fun has to stop, right?" Even Brook Lynn's fake smile vanished.

  "I didn't mean... Oh, never mind. You're clearly in a mood. One too many orgasms?" Jessie Kay started bagging sandwiches. "I've got some deliveries to make before my boss, the Dragon Lady, decides to fire me." She snickered. "See what I did there?"

  Brook Lynn rolled her eyes.

  "I'm off." Jessie Kay kissed Brook Lynn's cheek before she left.

  "You okay?" he asked her. Jase studied her, this woman who'd stolen his heart.

  He froze. The words echoed in his mind. Stolen his heart. She had, hadn't she? He'd known he could fall, but hadn't realized he'd long since fallen. He loved her. Loved her with every cell in his body. Loved her with every bit of light in his soul. She'd somehow snuck past his defenses to become one of the most important parts of his life. More important than his lungs.

  "Do you want me to go?" he asked, fighting the urge to go to her, draw her in his arms and show her how he felt.

  "I...don't know."

  "Why?"

  "I don't know."

  "This isn't going to work if you refuse to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours."

  Baby blues he'd so often drowned in implored him to understand. "I'm a horrible person. I ran away from you, stayed away from you, tried to make you angry--and now I want to complain because you were alone with my sister."

  She was...jealous?

  Don't smile. "Your reaction is understandable. I slept with her."

  The color vanished from her cheeks. "I know. The image is burned into my brain."

  He wished she hadn't walked into his room that night. Even the thought of her with another man... Deep breath in, out. "Like so many other things, I can't change it," he said. "What's done is done."

  "I know that, too," she said, shoulders sagging with dejection.

  He sensed a "but" and leaned against the counter, crossed his arms.

  "Do you compare us?" she asked.

  "No!" he burst out. How could she think that, even for a second? "There is no one who compares to you."

  She flinched. "I just...I don't..."

  Forcibly controlling his tone, he added, "Tell me what you want me to do, and it's done. Burn my bed and get a new one? Done. Buy a new house? Done. The only thing I won't do is stay away from Jessie Kay. The two of you are a package deal, honey, and that's never going to change. You know it, and I know it. Besides, if I ignored her, it would hurt her, which would hurt you."

  "I don't want you to ignore her," she said. "I don't want any of those things. I just...I don't know." She stomped across the room, but she didn't draw him closer when she was within reach. She pushed him, as if daring him to react. "I'm so frustrated with us both right now. There's no quick fix for any of this."

  "Trust me, I know."

  She looked down at her hands, as if she couldn't believe what they'd done, before turning away from him.

  He gently latched on to her waist, stopping her. "You do whatever you need to do to me, as long as you stay with me."

  *

  MY RESISTANCE IS melting all over again, Brook Lynn thought.

  Seeing Jase with her sister had caused the darkest, most primal surge of jealousy to shoot through her. It had been irrational. It was irrational, not to mention illogical. She trusted him not to cheat. And she trusted Jessie Kay. But...

  The emotions were still there, frothing, propelling her toward madness. Even knowing she was out of line didn't help. And now she couldn't shake the questions rapid-firing through her mind. Questions she voiced. "What sets me apart from my sister in your mind? What makes you want one of us but not the other--when you once wanted the other, too?"

  Warm breath fanned the curve of her neck, making her shiver. His chest pressed against her back, the strength of him buffering her from the rest of the world. He picked her up and turned, placing her on the kitchen counter. Parting her legs, he stepped into the cradle she provided.

  He framed her face in his big, callused hands. "You've known hardship, and yet you've never allowed it to define you. You are serious...about having fun. You carry responsibilities too heavy for your shoulders, and yet you don't seem to notice. And I have never wanted a woman the way I want you. Never needed one the way I need you. You were made for me--she wasn't."

  "Jase," she said softly. Had more beautiful words ever been spoken to her?

  "I'm not done." His hands moved to the back of her neck, fisting her hair. Ravaged, he said, "You are pleasure to my pain, hope to my fear. You are everything I've ever needed but didn't think I'd be lucky enough to have. I adore the way you think and the things you say." Voice going husky, he added, "And don't even get me started on the way you move."

  A tremor danced along her spine as she played with the ends of his hair. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

  "Brook Lynn," he said.

  "Yes, Jase."

  "I love you."

  Oh...wow. She'd been wrong--more beautiful words had been spoken to her. "But...you can't. You shouldn't. I abandoned you when you needed me most."

  "Not your fault. I started our relationship in the wrong place. But we're on the right track now. You know everything. I can prove myself. I will."

  Well, it was suddenly clear to her that she had things to prove, as well. "Jase, I--"

  "Still not done, honey. I love you with every fiber of my being." His thumbs caressed her cheeks with reverence. "I'm happiest when I'm with you and resent any time apart. I think of you and smile. I think of you and crave. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

  She melted against him, and in that moment, that instant, that snap of time, the fear left her. Just, boom, it packed up and moved out. This man--this amazing, precious man--might have a temper, but he loved her. He loved her, defective Brook Lynn Dillon. And she knew without a doubt that he would never turn his rage on her.

  She might not have forgotten his rages, but she had forgotten his reaction to her, at least for a little while. He'd snapped out of his darker emotions at her c
ommand, at her touch, and his first thought had been of her, of her safety.

  How could she ever have doubted him?

  "So..." she said, kissing the center of his chin. "What I'm hearing is, you are totally whipped."

  He laughed, the sound of it rusty but magnificent. "I think 'tenderized' is a more apt description."

  "Like chicken?"

  "For sure."

  Feeling more lighthearted than she had in days, she couldn't help but tease, "You think I'm a mallet?"

  "A very beautiful mallet." He kissed the center of her chin, as well, then the edge of her mouth. "I was serious about proving myself. And the only way I know to do that is to make sure you know everything about me. Nothing held back." Thin lines of tension formed at the corners of his eyes. "And there is something else I haven't told you. Something I haven't told anyone, not even Beck and West."

  When he said no more, she petted at his chest. "Whatever it is," she said softly, "I'm not going anywhere. Not this time. And I want you to know I kept your other secret. Whatever you tell me stays with me. Always."

  He thought for a moment, nodded. But the lines of tension only deepened. "I...when I was first locked away...I was...I was scrawny, and the things you've probably heard about prison life...they're true." He cleared his throat. Beads of sweat dotted his brow. "The 'worse' things I told you happened to me...I was held down and...forced...and it happened more than once, until I got stronger and learned to fight back."

  Hearing the confession was like taking a baseball bat to the head: jarring, shocking and horrific all at once. Reeling, she wrapped her arms around him, held him close. "I'm so sorry, Jase." A thousand emotions seemed to bubble up at once, nearly choking her.

  He squeezed her tightly, holding on as if she were a life raft. He'd suffered, and was still suffering, with the aftereffects.

  His body began to shake. Something wet splashed on her neck. Tears?

  "Oh, Jase," she whispered. No words would be good enough, but she had to try. "You are a wonderful, amazing man, and I am so blessed to know you. I hate that you were hurt. I hate it so much. I would take away your pain if I could. I would bear it for you."

  He held on to her long after his shaking stopped. When he lifted his head, she wiped the moisture from his cheeks, her heart pounding against her ribs. She'd been right before. This man felt too much. Too deeply.

  A buzz sounded from his pocket, followed by a ring.

  "Answer if you'd like," she said and gave him a quick peck. "Then I want you to take me to bed." Where I will confess my love for you. After everything, it would be better if she showed him before she told him.

  "No. Bed now. Actually, counter now. You'll help me forget the past and remember I have a future."

  Before he could lift the hem of her shirt, her phone started ringing.

  He sighed and straightened, then checked his phone. "Missed call. Beck."

  She checked hers. "Missed call. Beck."

  She gave him a little push, and just like before her mountain of a man remained in place. He dialed his friend. As the two men talked, she unbuttoned Jase's pants. But the one-sided conversation soon captured her full attention, and she stilled.

  "What do you mean?...No, impossible...She isn't...she can't..." Jase turned away from Brook Lynn, and dread slithered through her. "Okay. I'll be right there."

  He hung up, but didn't face Brook Lynn right away.

  "What's wrong?" she asked.

  The longest moment she could ever imagine passed before he turned. He'd grown pale, waxen. "Beck's secret. He tracked down my ex-girlfriend. Daphne. Had emailed her once he found her, so now she's here. In town. At my house."

  "What!" Chilled to the bone, Brook Lynn hopped to her feet.

  "That's not all." Jase tunneled a hand through his hair. "She has a kid--and she says the girl is mine."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  THOUGH BROOK LYNN was in a knock-down-drag-out fight with her nerves, she was able to hide it behind the warden persona. A stern expression and clipped, efficient movements. The talent came in handy as she and Jase climbed into her car.

  "We will get this figured out," she said. Would they, though? Would they, really? He might have a kid--and a former girlfriend he might want to support.

  He mumbled an agreement, too dazed to respond any further than that.

  She took extra care on the road, going slower than usual as her mind lobbed questions and statements at her as if they were baseballs and she held a bat.

  Jase...a father?

  Jase...a family man?

  A family that did not include Brook Lynn, but did include Daphne, the girl he'd once loved.

  He loves me now. He said so.

  But does he love me more than he once loved her? Brook Lynn had a major mark against her. She'd walked away from him the moment she'd learned the truth about his past. Did this Daphne person have any marks?

  By the time she reached his house, her fingers had clenched the steering wheel so tightly the two were practically fused together. Her legs trembled as she trailed Jase to the porch and inside the house.

  Beck waited by the door, and as they passed him, he marched outside, casting Brook Lynn a pitying glance and saying, "I'll give you guys some privacy."

  He wanted Jase to have a choice, he'd once told her. Now she understood. The choice between Brook Lynn and Daphne, present and past.

  The moisture in her mouth dried when she noticed the floral-printed luggage stacked in the foyer. How long did the woman hope to stay?

  Jase stopped in the living room, and Brook Lynn moved beside him. A pretty brunette in her late twenties sat on the couch. She wore a crisp gray blouse and black slacks, and despite the heat outside, she looked as fresh as a newly bloomed rose. Her makeup was perfectly applied and demure. The slenderness of her bones gave her a regal air Brook Lynn would never be able to achieve.

  Studying the competition, she began to feel like an idiot for ever being jealous of her sister, who would never make a play for Jase now that Brook Lynn was dating him...and Jase would never do anything with Jessie Kay to jeopardize their relationship. But this Daphne person was a whole different story. She had what Jase never had but had probably always wanted. A family.

  A little girl sat at Daphne's side. She wore a white sundress and shifted uncomfortably, tugging at one of the dress's straps. She had a shoulder-length crop of dark hair that was straight as a pin and eyes as flawless as the most expensive emeralds. A thought Brook Lynn had often had about Jase's eyes. The little girl had his mouth, too, with an upper lip plumper than the bottom.

  Calm. Steady.

  Brook Lynn's gaze returned to Daphne...who was staring at her with curiosity, probably speculating about her relationship with Jase.

  "Daphne," Jase said, his voice rough. "It's good to see you again."

  "You, too. Although you look so different. So big." Her attention returned to Brook Lynn. "And who do we have here?"

  "This is Brook Lynn," he said.

  She waited for him to add, She's my girlfriend. But the words never came.

  Feeling like an interloper, she moved in front of him, giving Daphne her back, and whispered, "Do you want me to go?"

  Deep down, she prayed he would grab hold of her and command her to stay with him, then tell her he needed her support now and always. But he could barely peel his gaze from the woman who consumed his past.

  "Yes," he finally said, and it was like being stabbed in the heart. "Thank you for understanding. Text me when you get home and let me know you're safe."

  Officially dismissed. The hurting only magnified as she turned away from him. "Sure thing."

  Without another word, she walked to the door. Her legs shook the whole way.

  "What are you doing here?" she heard him ask Daphne.

  Brook Lynn hesitated, hovering between inside and outside, her hand resting on the door's knob. All she had to do was give a little tug and the partition would close, stopping her from becoming
a dirty eavesdropper. But the need to hear Daphne's reply locked her in place.

  "Beck emailed me. I thought you wanted to see me...that maybe you'd heard... Well." Daphne cleared her throat. "Jase, I'd like to introduce you to your daughter, Hope. Hope, this is Jase. Your father."

  Hope. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

  Jase's girl.

  Brook Lynn stood there, struggling to breathe for one minute...two...as she waited for Jase's response. But he didn't give one, and she couldn't risk staying there any longer. The door snickered closed, and she stumbled to the car.

  Maybe Daphne was lying. Maybe she was telling the truth. But Brook Lynn suspected the latter--and knew her relationship with Jase was about to change drastically.

  Even...end?

  She wasn't sure how she made it home without crashing. By the time she pulled into the driveway, the tattered remains of the warden facade had completely burned away.

  Less than an hour ago, she'd realized just how deeply she had fallen in love with Jase. Now she could lose him.

  Once inside her bedroom, she texted Jase as requested. Minutes ticked into an hour, but a response never arrived.

  A daughter, she thought, dazed. Jase had a daughter. He was a dad, with a ready-made family. What place did Brook Lynn have in his life now?

  I can make a place.

  He just has to give me a chance.

  The thought mocked her. He'd asked her to give him a chance, too, and yet she'd hesitated.

  She tossed and turned all night. Jessie Kay never came home, and for once she didn't go out looking.

  In the morning, Brook Lynn dressed with special care, choosing a pink T-shirt with cutouts of lace and her best shorts, the ones with the fewest frays at the hem. Jase still hadn't texted her.

  She drove to his house and found Daphne's minivan still parked in the driveway.

  Dread made Brook Lynn's limbs feel as if they were a hundred pounds each as she made her way inside, using the key Jase had given her. The luggage bags were no longer stacked beside the front door, which wasn't actually a good sign. It meant they'd been moved into one of the rooms. And since there were no spare bedrooms...

  There were no blankets or pillows on the couch to suggest someone had slept there.

  Jase isn't a cheater, she reminded herself. But that didn't mean he wouldn't make a clean break from her and go back to Daphne.

  The scent of bacon saturated the air. Since Brook Lynn had started working here, she had been the one to fix breakfast every morning. Maybe Beck had an overnight guest, and he'd decided to make his famous morning-after meal. His consolation prize for the woman he'd never see again. But Brook Lynn doubted that was the case. For the most part, she'd taken over that duty, too.