Finding Faith

by Reana Malori

  He wasn’t sure when the weekends, and seeing Faith, had become so important to him. But it had. Over the past two months, his need to be around Faith had grown as much as his daughter’s. He was most relaxed when in her presence, even when doing the most mundane tasks. Whatever it was that was happening, he was willing to let it just ride. There was no need to rush anything and he wouldn’t.

  Something about Faith continued to draw him closer to her whenever they came in contact with each other. Not sure what it was about her that kept him thinking about her at the most inopportune times, like when he was sitting in the middle of an operations meeting. Someone mentioned the word faith and he had immediately pictured her smiling face.

  Honestly, he wasn't ready to consider the possibilities as to why she never failed to be far from his thoughts. He would tackle that puzzle another day. As for right now, he was just focused on enjoying the moment.

  If only he could allow himself to let her in. Not many people knew the real him and it was hard to share that side of him with anyone. Every day he struggled with the demons that tried to tear him down. His time in the Army and serving overseas, the casualties of war by his own hands, and the death of his wife that still sometimes haunted him in his dreams.

  The kid with anger issues had found his way into the military through a stroke of luck, or maybe it had been fate. Either way, it made him into a different man. Life in the military had been mostly good, but other times, not so much. After his marriage to Heather, and raising his beautiful little girl all alone, he had become a different man. It had taken him a while to get there, but Cooper knew that he was now comfortable in this new, buttoned up world around him. And he was okay with that.

  However, Faith Douglas had come into his world and she had thrown him for a loop. She was almost the exact opposite of the type of women he normally would be interested in dating. If anyone had asked him a year ago to describe his ideal woman, he probably would have described his late wife. Now, after meeting Faith, he wasn’t so sure.

  But based on her reaction to him over these past couple of months, it seemed that she considered him as only a friend. Not once had she ever given any indication that she wanted anything more than their friendly, flirty banter. That was part of the reason why it bothered him so much that just seeing her face would make him want to be around her, talk with her, and hear her voice even more.

  Even his daughter was drawn to the nice lady who had brought them into her world from the very first day they moved into the neighborhood. It seemed that Madison had decided that there was only one speed when it came to Faith. Full steam ahead.

  There was no stopping Madison when she wanted something. Within a week of meeting her, all she wanted was Faith. And when his little girl wanted to see Faith that was all that mattered. No longer willing to wait for Faith to come to them, she would wake up on the weekends and within minutes, would ask to go see the lovely Ms. Faith.

  Telling himself that he was doing it for Madison, he would usually give in and they would head over to spend the day. As time passed, he began to notice that he was also starting to become excited at the thought of spending time with her. Each time he woke up on the weekends, he would lie there and countdown the minutes until Madison would come ask to call Faith and plan their day.

  Her number was programmed into his phone, number three on the speed-dial list. He never failed to call and let her know that they were on their way over, just in case she had other plans. But never once had she said no or denied them. Which, if he had taken a moment to truly think about, would have told him more than he would have imagined.

  Seeing her every weekend had become like second nature. It was just something that he had to do. Felt he needed to do. And today was no different.

  This morning, waking up from a restless sleep, he wondered where Faith had been last night. After several calls to her cell phone with no answer, he had texted her asking where she was. There had been an uneasy feeling rolling around his stomach and he wasn’t happy at all that she hadn’t been picking up. When she finally did respond, his frustration had only grown. And then he got pissed off, because he wasn’t supposed to feel that way about her.

  Picking up his phone again to look at the text messages from last night, he felt his back teeth begin to grind in frustration.

  9:15pm, Hey Faith, you working late?

  9:18pm, Faith, you’re not picking up. Everything okay?

  9:22pm, Hi Cooper. Yes, I’m fine. I’ll be home a little late.

  9:23pm, You’re safe? At the office? Faith, you can’t do that to me.

  9:27pm, Sorry. Definitely safe. Tell Madison I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Nite.

  Her messages had been vague and that had actually pissed him off even more. Where had she been? Not that she had to clear her schedule with him, but they had somewhat of a routine. They spoke every night without fail. It wasn’t like Faith to simply ignore him and not call or let him know where she was. The last message had come through at almost midnight.

  11:52pm, Hey Cooper, just letting you know I made it home safe. Talk later.

  Rolling out of bed, he pulled on some pajama pants and a t-shirt before walking downstairs. Fulling expecting Madison to get in her request for them to see Faith as soon as she came downstairs, he pre-empted her and called before she came asking.

  “Hello?” Her sleep tinged voice filled the line.

  “Hi, Faith, it’s me, Cooper,” he said. Again, he wondered where she had been last night. The only thought he could come up with was that she went out with some friends from work. But why wouldn’t she just say that?

  Sounds of her moving around in bed came across the phone and he wondered what she slept in. Was she the type to sleep in negligee or a nightshirt? If he showed up one morning without his customary call, how would she answer the door? Would her lips be full and pouty, her long, thick hair messy, as if she had just rolled out of bed?

  “Hi, Cooper.” The rustling covers that could be heard made his body begin to respond to the picture that formed in his head. What the hell was that all about?

  Clearing his throat to make sure he didn’t come off too gruff, “Madison and I were wondering if we could come over and make you lunch today.”

  “Oh, you were? Um, why?”

  Laughing at her surprise, he knew she was a keeper. Wait, a keeper for what? He wasn’t looking for a keeper of anything. Turning back to the conversation at hand and ignoring those wayward thoughts, “Well, because you always cook for us, or pick up something while you’re out. I thought we would return the favor.”

  Feeling a tug on his shirt, he looked down to see Madison standing there in her superhero pajamas, her tiny feet straining as she stood on her toes. Her hands were folded together as if in prayer. A wide smile spread across her face, “We’re going to make you a dad-burger, Ms. Faith,” she yelled out.

  Turning his attention back to the phone again, “Did you hear that?”

  “I sure did,” she answered. “It’s nine o’clock now. What time will you be here?”

  “How about eleven-thirty?” Thinking about the items he already had, he knew a trip to the store would be in order.

  “Okay, that sounds good. I’ll be ready.” A yawn came through the phone. “Um, but what is a dad-burger?” She asked.

  The huskiness of her voice continued to pull at him. Then again, he wondered why she was still asleep at this hour. Ignoring her question about the food, he asked his own, “You sound tired. Long week?”

  “Yes, work’s been tough, but I can handle it,” she said.

  “Okay, just want to make sure you’re not pushing yourself too hard. Those people don’t know just how good you are.” Maybe it wasn’t his place to tell her to rest, but he didn’t care about that. She was his friend and he was worried she was pushing herself too hard. “Make sure they understand just how much you do for them. Working late on a—”

  “I had a date last night,” she interjected.

  His
breath left his body for a few seconds. Did he hear her right? “A date?”

  “Yeah. Um, a lady at work set me up with her husband’s friend and we met for dinner last night,” she said. Her voice was somewhat low and hesitant as she shared this with him.

  “I don’t…Wait a minute. Who were you with? Are you going to see him again,” he demanded to know. So, is this the reason why she hadn’t told him where she was last night?

  “Cooper, why does it matter?”

  There was no anger in her tone. He, on the other hand, was building to a slow boil. Fuck! A date? Why hadn’t she told him?

  “Anyway, as I said, what’s a dad-burger?”

  Asking her question again, he knew she was trying to get him off topic, which was probably a good thing. His reaction to her saying that she had a date last night didn’t make any sense to him.

  “Well, a dad-burger is my very own recipe for making burgers on the grill. My recipe is so secret, only those in my special circle know the ingredients. Even then, they only know what I use, but not how much goes into the mixture,” he finally answered.

  “Are you going to tell me? Am I in your special circle?”

  If only she knew. “Do you want to be?”

  “It depends, what do I have to do?” This time, the huskiness in her voice sounded different to his ears. Sleep was not the cause.

  “Whatever I want,” he responded. They were getting into dangerous territory, but he liked the way things were going. Plus, if there was another man sniffing around, he needed to change that…quickly.

  Although he hadn’t officially staked his claim, there was no one else good enough for Faith but him. He dared a motherfucker to try and step in and claim the woman he was quickly coming to realize meant more to him than he thought.

  “Oh, really,” she laughingly exclaimed. “That sounds ominous.”

  “Nah, once you’re in the special circle of trust, you’ll never want to leave,” he said. By now, he was sitting in a chair and Madison had left the room, probably bored that the conversation wasn’t centered on her.

  “Oh...is that right?”

  “Trust me,” he said as he stood and walked over to the foyer and stood in front of the stairs. “We’ll be there at eleven-thirty. I have to run some errands first. It’s my in-laws anniversary next week and I need to pick up a gift for them.”

  “Oh, do you need any help,” she asked.

  Pleased by her willingness to lend a hand, he was tempted to accept her offer to come along, but decided against it. “No, but thanks. I feel close to Heather when I do stuff for her parents. I know she’s there with me, helping me to pick out what’s best. It feels good to still be able to have that connection with her. It helps me to not forget what we had.”

  Not noticing the silence on the other end of the line as he began walking up the stairs to shower, get dressed, and leave the house, he continued, “Okay, so we’ll see you in a few, okay?”

  “Um, sure Cooper. I’ll be here. Bye.”

  Cooper was a smart man. But like every man, he sometimes failed to look beyond his own needs and feelings. All he knew was that he now desired his neighbor. More than that, he wanted her for his own. Selfish though it may be, considering he still slept with a picture of his late wife next to his bed.

  That didn’t matter to him. All he cared about were his feelings right now. And what he felt was that it would be a cold day in hell before he gave her up without a fight.

  However, what he failed to realize was that he wasn’t free to belong to anyone. At least not yet. Having no clue as to why Faith’s voice had dropped an octave and the happiness he heard just a few minutes ago was no longer there, he ended the call.

  “Bye, sugar. See you later.”

  Chapter Five

  Cooper took in the scene in front of him and couldn’t help but feel good. The three of them sat in Faith’s dining room a few weeks later, their dinner plates full of food cooked by Faith. For some reason, the woman had gotten it into her head that he and Madison needed to eat Brussels sprouts.

  It had taken her weeks of pleading and convincing to get him to even agree that she could make them for dinner one night. His nose wrinkled up as he leaned over his plate and took a whiff. For such little things, the smell was horrible and it permeated throughout the entire house.

  There had been no way in hell he would agree to her making them in his kitchen. Even now, he still wasn’t sure how she managed to get his agreement that he would even eat the things. But, after all was said and done, he had made a deal. If she cooked them in her own kitchen, in her own home, then he would at least give them a try.

  After all of her arguments and research on the healthy impact of eating a variety of leafy, green vegetables—which she fully considered Brussels sprouts to be—he hadn’t the heart to tell her he abhorred the things. If given a choice, he would rather go to the ballet than eat the crunchy, almost deformed looking, miniature cabbages.

  As a result, he was committed to suffering in silence because he hadn’t wanted to disappoint her. It was his own damn fault.

  Smiling brightly, Faith had sat in front of him as he speared his first sprout and lifted the fork to his mouth. Looking over at Madison, he gave her a wink as the little girl giggled. Wearing a smug look of satisfaction on her face, she stared at him intently. He knew she was waiting to gauge his reaction. Faith’s eyes never wavered, but he noticed that she was biting and nibbling on her bottom lip. He exhaled deeply. Why had he never noticed how sexy it was when she did that?

  She had even stopped eating her own meal as she waited. Watching him closely as he took his first bite and chewed slowly, she leaned forward, anticipating his response.

  “You love them, right?” Her question came just as he was mid-chew. Beaming with pride the entire time, she began eating her own food while he forced himself to continue chewing and not spit the offending food from his mouth.

  On the other hand, if the speed of her fork entering her mouth was any indication, Madison seemed to love the things. Unfortunately for him, he knew it was simply too late for his taste buds to change.

  Chewing quickly, he tried to get it down his throat as fast as he could without actually tasting the vegetable. Forcing himself to swallow the entirety of the offending piece of food, he briefly closed his eyes as his stomach fought the urge to rebel in horror. Taking a quick drink, he tried not to look like a recalcitrant child as he answered, “They’re good. I’ve never really tasted any like yours before. You definitely have a unique touch.”

  Hoping she hadn’t seen through him to recognize the lie that had passed his lips, he quickly moved on to eating his grilled pork chops as if they were the best thing created out of a kitchen since...well, anything ever.

  “I knew you would like them,” she stated in triumph as she took another bite of her own food.

  “I like them, Ms. Faith,” exclaimed Madison as she entered the conversation.

  “I’m glad you do, sweetheart,” Faith responded as she held up her hand for Madison to give her a high five.

  Watching the two of them in action, he would swear that his little girl would claim to love anything Faith gave to her. Her growing affection for their lovely neighbor made him smile. He could also completely understand it, since he felt a growing affection for her as well. And day by day, it was becoming harder to ignore.

  Opening the door at the sound of the doorbell, Faith admired the sight in front of her. Dressed casually in light brown shorts and a blue shirt, Cooper looked completely different than he did during the week. Faith liked what she saw.

  “Hey, you two! I’m almost ready,” she said as she picked up her purse and a large blanket that she used for sitting on the grass.

  “Come on, Faith! This is going to be so much fun!” Madison was giddy with excitement.

  They were headed to the National Mall in the heart of Washington, DC. Today there was a huge kite event and they were joining the fun. People from all over would come a
nd fly huge, colorful, and intricate kites all day long. It was a sight to see and Faith had been to the event a few times. Today was the first time she would see it through the eyes of a child.

  “Alright, I’m ready!” Locking the door behind her, they all packed into Cooper’s truck and made their way into the city.

  It was hard for the two of them to get a word in edgewise over the chatter of Madison’s voice. “I want to fly a big kite and then I want to run really fast and it’s gonna fly in the sky really high.” Her voice carried throughout the vehicle.

  “Thanks for inviting us today,” Cooper glanced over at Faith briefly. Reaching out for her hand, he gave a squeeze.

  Looking at their joined hands, her heart skipped a beat and her stomach started to flutter with nervousness and a bit of anticipation. Tempted to hold on to his hand a little longer, to maintain their connection, she placed her other hand on top of his.

  “You’re welcome, Cooper. I think you two will have a great time.” Glancing back at Madison who had fallen silent for all of three minutes, “Madison will love it. It’s very exciting, even for me. I can only imagine what she’ll think.”

  Coming to a turn, Cooper glanced down and smiled at their hands. Feeling a slight pull of his hand, she released him and placed her hands on her legs. Although she was tempted to be embarrassed, she quelled the feeling. For all he knew, it was a friendly overture. How would he know that even a brief connection, whether it was grabbing the other’s hands, or a kiss on the cheek or forehead as they parted, drew her even closer to him

  “Park over there by the World War II Memorial. The walk will do us good,” she told him, pointing in the direction of the memorial site.