Soldier's Daughters

by Fiona Field

  Michelle, still looking stunned and as if she were about to cry, handed Sam her coat wordlessly. Sam was longing to ask her what the hell was going on but with Seb only yards away she didn’t dare. Sam took both coats and went into the little room Seb had directed them to use as a cloakroom. It was obviously supposed to be a study but at the moment, apart from a desk and chair, it mostly seemed to be a repository for the ironing pile. Sam dumped the coats on the desk and turned to go and saw on the wall dozens of photos of rowers and their boats.

  And Michelle’s latest was a rower. But she’d said he was called Bas, not Seb.

  Oh. Dear. God. Sebastian.

  Pennies positively cascaded. Had Michelle known he was married? wondered Sam. But she instantly dismissed the thought. Of course she hadn’t. Michelle might have her moments but she wasn’t a marriage wrecker. Sam felt herself go hot then cold as she realised what a bloody awful mess this was. She pulled Michelle into the study. One look at Michelle’s face confirmed everything in an instant. Michelle was as shocked as Sam.

  ‘Sam, what am I going to do?’ said Michelle.

  ‘So it’s Seb, isn’t it? Seb is Bas. Sebastian.’ Sam knew she was right, but she needed confirmation.

  Michelle’s eyes glittered with unshed tears and she nodded. ‘I can’t stay. I’ve got to go.’

  ‘You can’t,’ hissed Sam, desperately. ‘Not without endless questions. And if those start to get asked, God knows what’ll happen. Michelle, you’ve got to fake it. Now you’ve turned up you can’t bugger off. Stay for a while, till lunch is over, and then you can say you’ve got a migraine or something, anything. But you can’t turn on your heel and leave.’

  Michelle showed a flash of defiance. ‘Why shouldn’t I? I don’t care what these people think of me. This mess isn’t my fault.’

  ‘And it’s not Maddy’s either – is it?’

  Michelle shook her head. ‘I don’t know if I can, Sam.’ Her voice wobbled. ‘Bas… Seb… I think I love him, and I feel so betrayed. Sam, I feel… I feel grubby. I don’t screw married men.’

  ‘And you didn’t think you had. You wait till I get Seb alone,’ whispered Sam, her anger blazing out of her eyes.

  ‘Sam, I don’t think I can pull this off. I can’t go out there and pretend I’ve never met him.’

  Sam gave her friend a hug. ‘Yes, you can. Just for an hour or two. You won’t have met most of the others either, remember, and you barely know James or Will or the other guys from the mess. They won’t be able to tell whether you’re acting normally or not.’ Sam made a lame attempt at some humour. ‘Or as normal as you ever act.’ She grinned encouragingly at Michelle, who still looked stricken. ‘Please. I know you don’t know Maddy but, please, do this for her. It’s not her fault. Talk about innocent by-stander. However, Seb I am going to kill.’

  Michelle rubbed her forehead and sniffed. ‘No, I want to do that.’

  ‘Attagirl. So, can you do this? Can you pretend you’ve never met Seb before? And can you pretend you are having a great time—?’

  The doorbell went again.

  ‘Coming,’ called Seb from the sitting room.

  Sam hugged Michelle again and then sashayed out of the study, patting her hair as if she’d spent the time titivating and not carrying out emergency surgery on a broken heart.

  Susie and her husband, plus James and a bunch of other single officers who had arrived mob-handed, all piled into the house together while Maddy emerged from the kitchen and the lunch party got going. What should have been a jolly Sunday rapidly became, for Sam and Michelle, a nightmare, with both of them terrified they’d make a mistake and the truth about Seb and his philandering would emerge. And it wasn’t just she and Michelle that Sam had to worry about; anyone with only half an eye could see that Seb was acting really strangely. He was like a cat walking on tin-tacks – all nervy and wild-eyed. He was either gazing at Michelle in utter bemusement, jumping like he’d been stung whenever she spoke or moved, or bouncing around with so much bonhomie that eventually even Maddy noticed.

  ‘What’s got into you?’ she demanded to know when she got him alone in the kitchen for a second. ‘You’re acting like an over-excited five-year-old at his own birthday party. Calm down.’

  ‘Sorry, Mads,’ he said, contritely. ‘I guess I’m not used to playing host.’

  Bewildered, Maddy shook her head and handed Seb an open bottle of red and another of white. ‘Keep everyone topped up with wine until I’m ready to put out the hot dishes,’ she instructed him in a low voice. ‘It’s only going to be another five minutes. And if any of the guys want beer, there’s plenty on the patio, keeping cold. Only make sure they shut the French windows after them if they go out to get some; this house is hard enough to keep warm without a screaming draught racing through it.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am,’ said Seb.

  A few minutes later the garlic bread had heated to Maddy’s satisfaction and she was able to call her guests through to the dining room to help themselves.

  Thank God, thought Sam, that this was a buffet party, and she and Michelle could choose where they sat and with whom – and that wasn’t going to be near Seb or Maddy. However, as Maddy cleared away their plates from the main course, Susie Collins, whose husband was, Sam knew, Seb’s officer commanding, insisted that they all played musical chairs and moved places ‘so we all get to talk to someone new’. As a result Michelle ended up on one side of the room and Sam on the other and, without Sam to ride shotgun, Michelle was firmly on her own.

  Sam tried to pay attention to the conversation she was involved with but it was hard when she was also desperately ear-wigging what was going on over on Michelle’s side of the room. Michelle was saying very little as far as Sam could gather, which was a total relief, and was mostly answering questions with monosyllables while listlessly picking at the apple crumble Maddy had dished up for pud. It was obvious to Sam that Michelle was finding this party the most appalling charade and the strain showed on her face. Thankfully, though, because no one else in the room had ever met her before, the others present seemed to assume that being quiet and a bit sullen was Michelle’s normal persona – which was horribly unfair on Michelle in many respects but, frankly, given the situation, thought Sam, things could be a lot worse. She longed to find a way of giving her a hug – or get her away from the torment – but without being rude she couldn’t think of a way out. Sam resolved to leave, dragging Michelle with her, at the first, polite, opportunity.

  Thankfully, after a while, the conversation became general across the room as all the men began to talk about the upcoming brigade exercise in Kenya, which was taking place in the New Year. The fact that Michelle, stuck in a training regiment and thus not involved at all, wasn’t joining in the conversation became excusable. However, neither was Maddy, and Maddy, being an excellent hostess and not wanting to see one of her guests being ignored, started to chat to Michelle.

  The look on Michelle’s face said it all; her misery at discovering the truth about her boyfriend was being made a million times worse by having to be nice to his wife. Sam didn’t think things could be any more agonising for Michelle if someone had been dripping acid into an open wound. Sam dragged herself away from the more interesting talk about Kenya and launched herself into one about more domestic things, hoping to draw fire, as it were.

  ‘But when’s your baby due?’ Sam asked Maddy. Michelle lapsed again into morose silence. If she looked sulky and anti-social, and the other guests thought she was a bit of a wet blanket, then tough shit, thought Sam a little harshly. Better that than she should suddenly burst into tears.

  ‘Right at the beginning of March,’ said Maddy.

  ‘But won’t Seb be out in Kenya?’

  ‘No, he’s on the advance party going out at the start of January so he should be first back as well. He should make it home in time – assuming that both the army and the baby keep to schedule.’

  ‘You must be excited,’ said Sam.

  ‘Less s
o the second time around. You know what’s in store.’

  ‘And poor Maddy has suffered awfully from morning sickness,’ interjected Susie. There had been a distinct shift in the dynamics of the room as the women left the men to talk about army stuff and the wives began to group together to talk about more domestic issues. And while Sam would have liked to have joined in with the army chat, keeping Michelle away from Seb was now her priority, so domesticity ruled. ‘Poor girl, it wouldn’t have been so bad if it had just been mornings but she’s been a martyr to it all day.’

  ‘Poor you,’ said Michelle, but Sam could tell that she didn’t really care. What was morning sickness when you were dying of a broken heart?

  ‘It hasn’t helped that Seb’s been up to his eyes in some new rowing training initiative,’ said Maddy. ‘He’s had to give up a lot of weekends recently – almost every last one.’

  Sam glanced in Michelle’s direction and saw her face flush.

  ‘Not that I mind terribly,’ continued Maddy. ‘Sometimes it’s easier when it’s just me and Nathan.’

  ‘Well, isn’t that handy,’ said Michelle under her breath.

  Sam shot her a warning look and Michelle answered it with a hint of a shrug. Sam was thankful that, because Michelle was going to be driving back to her own unit later that day, she’d had to stay sober. What she might have said or done if she’d been the worse for drink didn’t bear thinking about.

  ‘Rowing’s becoming very popular these days, isn’t it?’ said Susie. ‘Very fashionable, like cycling. Everyone seems to be at it. Have you ever rowed, Michelle?’

  Michelle looked at Seb and swallowed. Sam held her breath. ‘No,’ she said coolly. ‘Never. And I don’t think I want to, regardless of what other people say about it. Can’t think of anything I’d rather do less.’

  Sam breathed again.

  It was getting on for four in the afternoon by the time the meal came to an end and the coffee had been served and the petits fours scoffed. How could lunch have taken so long? wondered Sam. But finally the party had staggered to an end and Sam, with complete truthfulness, citing the fact the Michelle had a long drive ahead of her, had given them the excuse to make a move. Once they did everyone else decided they ought to be going too. It was almost dark as the two girls walked back towards the mess, followed by James and Will, who were both pretty pissed. Seb might be a bastard but he was a generous one when it came to pouring drink.

  ‘Wait for us,’ called James, petulantly, but Sam refused, saying that Michelle wanted to get back to her regiment before being posted AWOL on Monday morning, and at the rate the boys were walking, that wasn’t going to happen. She could see that Michelle was only just holding herself together and the sooner they found total privacy the better all round.

  When they got back to her room, Sam shut the door firmly and took her friend in her arms. ‘Sweetie, I am so proud of you. You were a star.’

  At this point Michelle collapsed into loud sobs. ‘I c-c-c-an’t b-b-believe I d-d-d-didn’t s-s-s-spot the signs,’ she wailed. ‘I sh-sh-should have guessed he was m-m-m-married.’

  ‘How?’ asked Sam. ‘Men don’t get “unavailable” tattooed on them once they get a wife. Although some should,’ she muttered darkly as an afterthought. ‘Don’t you dare beat yourself up, Michelle Flowers, because he really isn’t worth it. How the hell a bastard like that got a lovely wife like Maddy and a nice girl like you to fall for him, I can’t imagine. Git!’

  Michelle slumped onto Sam’s bed, mopping her tear-streaked face. ‘I really, really loved him, Sam. I was fantasising about wedding dresses and everything. When we were going out I used to imagine what it would be like to have Bas to myself; to have him coming home to me every evening, to wake up next to him every morning… I didn’t know he already had a wife who was living my dream.’ Another sob escaped.

  Sam knelt down on the floor gave her friend another hug. ‘I know, hon.’ She sighed. ‘But you’re well out of that one. If he’s cheating on his wife, you could never expect him to remain faithful to you.’

  ‘You don’t know that,’ snuffled Michelle, into Sam’s shoulder.

  ‘Leopards and spots,’ said Sam, ‘leopards and spots.’

  ‘No,’ wailed Michelle, ‘it would have been different if I’d been his wife. Maddy obviously doesn’t appreciate him. If she did he wouldn’t have looked for love elsewhere.’

  ‘You don’t know that,’ said Sam.

  ‘Yes, I do,’ said Michelle, blowing her nose. ‘It’s the only explanation. He can’t have been happy with her. He can’t have been. Not when we were always so happy together.’

  ‘But you haven’t know him long,’ protested Sam, trying to get Michelle to see reason.

  ‘Time isn’t important when you were as in love as we were.’

  You were in love, thought Sam. She didn’t think Seb was.

  ‘I know it was love this time. It was so different to when I was at uni.’ Michelle blew her nose again. ‘I don’t know why I thought that what I felt for my tutor was love. I was just naive, I suppose. And to think I wasted all that time over that poxy bloke, thinking I loved him, when I now know what true love is like.’ Michelle subsided into more sobs.

  Oh, dear God, thought Sam, as she remembered Michelle’s story about the tutor and the near-miss with a restraining order. And then she calmed down. Michelle was four years older and four years wiser, and she was posted across the other side of the country. There was no way she could stalk Seb from that distance. Besides, it wouldn’t take Michelle long to realise that all Seb had been after was some extra shagging while Maddy was pregnant and, according to Susie, being as sick as a dog and probably not up for it very much. So he’d used Michelle as a stop-gap, which made him a complete bastard. As soon as Michelle realised that, she’d see sense, understand she’d had a lucky escape, and forget about him. Of course she would.

  Seb put down the drying-up cloth. ‘Is that the lot?’ he asked Maddy. Yet again, while his wife was preoccupied with wringing out the dishcloth, he nervously checked his mobile.

  Maddy stretched to ease her aching back. ‘It’s enough, isn’t it?’ Behind Seb, on the counter, was a stack of now-clean saucepans and glasses – the stuff that hadn’t fitted in the dishwasher. ‘I’m knackered,’ she said.

  ‘Not surprised. That was quite a spread you put on.’ Seb took a roll of clingfilm from a drawer and covered the remains of a plate of quiche before shoving it in the fridge. ‘Not much left.’ He rubbed his forehead and then from upstairs came a wail from Nathan.

  Maddy sagged. ‘And there was me hoping for a sit-down.’

  ‘I’ll see to him,’ said Seb. He glanced at the kitchen clock. ‘It’s a bit early for his tea. How about I take him for a nice walk around the block?’

  Maddy’s face lit up with a smile. ‘Would you, darling? You’re an angel.’

  ‘No problem.’

  Ten minutes later, Nathan and Seb, both wrapped up warmly against the December elements and Nate tucked into his buggy with the rain hood down, were strolling through the officers’ married patch. There wasn’t a soul around. He took his phone out of his pocket and halted under a streetlamp while he pressed the buttons for Michelle’s number.

  ‘Where are you?’ he asked without preamble when she picked up.

  ‘On the M4.’

  ‘Then you shouldn’t have answered. I don’t want you causing an accident on top of everything else.’

  ‘Hands-free, Bas. Or maybe I should call you Seb.’

  Seb could hear the anger simmering in her voice, despite the background noise from her car and the less-than-perfect connection. Well, he was bloody mad too.

  ‘What the hell did you think you were playing at?’

  He heard Michelle splutter. ‘Me? Maybe if you hadn’t lied to me about your name and the little matter that you had a wife and kid tucked away at home, maybe I wouldn’t have bothered to get involved with you in the first place. You led me on, you really did. And I fell for i
t, hook, line and fucking sinker. I’m not the one at fault here, Bas… Seb… whatever your name is… it’s you.’ Michelle severed the connection.

  Seb walked on a bit further, considering her reaction. Well, of course she was cross – it’d been the shock of the encounter. God, he’d nearly cacked himself when he’d seen her standing there. For a ghastly second he’d thought she’d arrived at his house on spec – to confront him and Maddy, like some awful sort of crazed stalker. But then he’d seen Sam with her and the penny had dropped – in awful cartoon slo-mo: this was Sam’s mate, the one she’d asked Maddy if it would be OK for her bring along as a plus one. And, oh, the irony, that Maddy had said yes.

  He pushed the buggy on down the road and wondered how long it would take Michelle to calm down enough to talk rationally. She really did sound pretty pissed off. He thought about what she’d said and the word ‘involved’ leapt to the forefront of his mind. He hadn’t wanted involvement. All he’d wanted was a bit of a fling. Shit, she hadn’t thought their relationship was a serious one, had she? Nah, surely not.

  Maybe he’d give it another five minutes, he thought. Let her calm down a bit. He pushed Nathan to the swing park at the far end of the patch and then turned to walk around the block again. On his second lap he pressed the buttons again: straight to voicemail.

  He sighed. He wondered how long she was going to sulk for. Seb didn’t know much about women but he’d heard stories of jilted girlfriends and what they got up to. He didn’t want Michelle to start thinking of ways to pay him back. Maybe he should hold out an olive branch.

  ‘Look, Michelle, maybe I should apologise,’ he said placatingly to the answering service. Shit, the last thing he wanted was for Michelle to start looking for family pets to casserole. Not that they had any but… ‘Look, I am sorry. I was shocked, that’s all. And I am really sorry if you feel hurt, I’m really, really sorry. I thought it was a bit of fun. I thought you felt the same way. I never meant for things to get serious. Honestly.’ That sounded a bit pathetic but what else could he say? He couldn’t think of anything so he finished with ‘Bye’, and rang off. Would that do the trick? God, he hoped so because one thing he had to be sure of was Michelle keeping schtum. And her mate Samantha too, because he’d seen the way Sam had kept staring at Michelle and him and he was pretty certain that she’d twigged what was going on, and even if she hadn’t he would bet a pound to a penny Michelle had put her in the picture as soon as they’d left the house.