by J. D. Rivera
I was finally able to look away from Cooper’s lips just as he asked another question. “Are you still dating Daniel?” He asked while looking me straight in the eyes.
It took me a minute to answer, because I was so mesmerized by his blue eyes. Why was I just now noticing the guy?
I really needed to stop staring. He was just being nice to me because of Chris. “No. We broke up last December.”
“Oh. Well that’s good news.”
“Is it?” I sounded so awkward, but I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to say.
“Very good news. That means you’re available.”
“Are you planning on playing matchmaker? Setting me up with someone?” Please let it be you, was all I could think.
“Something like that. Hey do you want to get out of here and take a walk?” He stood up and extended his hand for me to take.
“Sure. I’d love to,” I said, grabbing his hand.
We left the party and walked until we finally found a park bench and sat down. It was getting a little chilly; I only had on a tank top, so he put his arm around me, cuddling me into him. He smelled amazing.
“I have a confession.” His voice broke me from my trance of smelling him. Damn, he smelled so good.
“What is that?” I asked, pulling away from him and looking up at his face.
“I’ve liked you for a long time. You were always in a relationship with that Daniel guy, so I never told anyone. Chris doesn’t even have a clue. It was a relief to hear you say that you broke up.”
Oh. My. Gosh. Was he really telling me this, or was I dreaming this up? Maybe his smile and good looks and smell had made me go delusional? Who would be that interested in me? I’m fit with long wavy brown hair, far from anything beautiful.
“I guess I should take your silence as an easy letdown then?”
“No. No, you shouldn’t. I’m just… Well, I’m just in shock, that’s all. I mean you’re really good-looking, and I mean, you could get any girl you want. Why would you want someone as plain Jane as me?”
He started laughing, “You’re kidding, right? You’re so beautiful. I haven’t seen a girl yet that compares to you. So, can I ask you out on a date for next Friday night?”
“Only if you stop laughing!”
“I’m sorry.” He pulled himself together. “If I remember correctly, your favorite food is Mexican, right?”
I looked him straight in his beautiful blue eyes. “How did you remember that or even know that?”
“I’ve spent a lot of time with your family over the years. I have no clue how I originally found out, but I guess I was right though. How about I pick you up for dinner around seven on Friday?”
“That sounds wonderful.” I couldn’t even explain how excited I felt that I was going on a date with Cooper Thomason.
I woke up sometime around seven that night, a little disoriented. It took me a minute to figure out why I was asleep in Jen’s spare room. The afternoon’s events came crashing back at me, and I figured I might as well get all of Jen’s questions over with.
I wondered if Cooper was still calling, or— Crap, what if he had called Jen? He probably just wanted to know that I was safe. He would know exactly where to check. Jen and I had been best friends since her family moved to our town in the fifth grade. We bonded very quickly, even though we were opposites. She was beautiful and blond, and even though I’d never understood why, she only dated losers. I had always feared she would date Jason, since I hated him with a passion. Thankfully, she hadn’t yet.
I went into the living room and saw Jen curled up on the couch, watching her favorite TV show, one of my own favorite sitcoms, Modern Family. I sat down next to her and started watching, too. I hoped I would be able to laugh at the show and forget my crappy life. I planned on not saying anything until she asked questions.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take her long before she turned to me and started the conversation I’d dreaded since I arrived at her doorstep. “So, you wanna tell me what Cooper did?”
“Do I have to talk about this?”
“No, you don’t. I just want to know how mad I’m supposed to be when I finally answer all of Cooper’s calls.” I guess he had tried calling her too.
“Okay, fine. I got some very… life-changing news today, and when I walked into the apartment, Cooper was with Jason, smoking a joint. He also had a slutty blonde pawing all over him. Last time he got high with Jason, I told him I wasn’t putting up with that shit again.”
“Oh wow. I figured it had something to do with drugs. I can’t believe he had some other girl on him though. That sounds… Well, I don’t know, but that part pisses me off the most.”
“Yep. Pisses me off too. I really don’t think he would cheat, but that was close enough. I feel like vomiting every time I think about it.”
We sat silently for a few minutes before she asked the other question I dreaded answering.
Jen raised an eyebrow. “So, what was the life-changing news?”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted.
“Oh. Wow. Not what I expected to hear at all.”
“Not what I thought the doctor would say either.” I said before getting up to use the bathroom. I felt like my bladder was going to explode.
I got up the next morning to the smell of coffee. It made my stomach a little queasy, but nothing major. I’d spent the last week vomiting from the slightest smell of any food in the morning, so a little queasiness wasn’t anything. When I entered the living room, I saw Jen at the kitchen table, eating cereal and working on her laptop.
I went over and sat down in the chair next to her. “Good morning.” I said.
“Morning. I have a huge exam today. I am so ready for this semester to be over with.” She said before taking a bite of cereal.
“Me too. Only a month left.”
“Hey, you want to go out tonight? I need some sort of relaxation after this test, and you need to get your mind off things. We can go someplace where they don’t allow smoking, and it’s not like you look pregnant or anything.”
“Umm. I guess it could be good. We could go to one of the clubs downtown like we always do. They have separate smoking rooms and I could use the distraction of watching nasty girls try to dance and pick up on drunk guys.”
She laughed. “Yes! Seeing which one will break a piece of their wardrobe first is always fun.”
“It’s a plan then,” I said as I got up to make some toast.
That night, we pulled up to the club around ten o’clock. It was still a little early to be out clubbing, but I wasn’t in the mood for staying out all night. I was a little sad because I’d never gone while single. I’d always known I was going home with someone and had him by my side the whole night. Now, if Jen met some guy, I’d be solo at the club for a while.
We walked into the club, and to my surprise, there was a decent crowd. We found a table and started people watching. Luckily, I didn’t know anyone, and I was glad. I just needed a night to not think about anything, and I didn’t want to explain why Cooper wasn’t with me. I was getting kind of thirsty, so I decided to go get something to drink instead of waiting on a server.
“Hey, I’m going to go order a ginger ale. Do you want anything?” I asked Jen.
“I’ll have a shot of tequila, thank you.”
“I’ll be right back.” I made my way to the bar. I had to wait a few minutes before the bartender walked over to me. I’d just placed my order when I felt a strong arm come around my shoulder.
“Hey, baby sister. How have you been?”
Great. It was my brother, Chris, which could only mean Cooper was somewhere close.
“I’m good. How have you been?” I focused on his concerned face and nothing else. I really didn’t want to see Cooper.
“I’m good. Why don’t you tell me anything about what’s going on in your life? I know you’re not okay, sis.”
Cooper must’ve told him about the breakup. “I’m sorry, but I really haven
’t talked to anyone except Jen. And that’s only because I’m staying with her. I’m okay, though.”
“Don’t you dare lie to me! Cooper told me what happened, and I have to be honest. I don’t really understand. Something else has to be going on with you.”
“Nothing else is going on. I’m tired of him hanging out with losers, that’s all. Oh, and I really didn’t appreciate seeing some piece of trash pawing on him when he’s supposed to be with me.” I played that part up a bit, because I didn’t want to explain my real reasons just yet.
“You know he would never cheat on you. Look, I’m not going to pick sides. I hope you don’t ask me—”
I cut him off and accepted Jen’s and my drinks from the bartender. “I would never make you pick sides. You and Cooper are almost like brothers, and regardless of what happened between me and him, it has nothing to do with you.”
“Thank you, sis.” He frowned at my drinks the bartender had just given me. “Are you still not feeling well from the stomach flu? You’ve had that for a while. I hope you’ve seen a doctor.”
“I’m over the stomach flu. I just don’t feel like drinking tonight. That’s all. Hey, look, I’m going to get back over to my table. I think our other friends have showed up now.”
He grabbed me into a bear hug and whispered into my ear, “You know I love you, and I’m here for you no matter what.”
“Yep, I know. I love you too,” I said, looking over my shoulder at him as I walked away. I ran into someone in front of me.
“Hey, sorry. Are you okay?” a very familiar voice asked.
Good grief. Of all of the people I could’ve walked into, it had to be Cooper. I looked up, and I really shouldn’t have. He looked gorgeous, giving me his half smile, and his blue eyes were shining. Damn, I would’ve loved to reach up and kiss that smile off of his face.
What the hell was wrong with me? I needed to get a grip and not think about kissing my ex-boyfriend. He knew I thought that smile was sexy, and that had to be why he was doing it. He had no other reason to be smiling at me.
“Yeah, I’m great. No worries,” I said awkwardly and tried to hurry past him, but he grabbed my arm.
“We really need to talk, Em. I think I deserve to get to say something and listen to what you have to say, too.”
I looked into his eyes and braced myself for what I was about to say because it was such a lie. I did need to say a lot to him, but I wasn’t in the right state of mind to tell him yet. “There really isn’t much to talk about. We aren’t dating anymore. That’s really all that needed to be said, and I said that when I left.”
“How can you just throw three years away like that? It’s like our relationship meant nothing to you. Damn it, I love you. With all my heart. And I just can’t let go of us like this.”
“I’m sorry you’re hurting, Cooper. I really am. But we’re done.” I said as I walked away from him.
“Fine. You want it to be like that. Fine!” he yelled.
I made it back to my table, shaking from the conversation with Cooper. Jen must have noticed my shaking or the conversation, or both, because as soon as I sat down, she grabbed me for a huge hug. As she released me, she had the most sympathetic look on her face.
I mouthed, “I’m okay,” to her. I wanted her to have a good time and not worry about me. She needed that night out and didn’t need my drama messing it up.
Soon, I was lost in different conversations with the girls that we’d met up with at the club. I was chatting with one of the girls, Kelly, when something—or should I say someone—on the dance floor caught my eye: Cooper and a very beautiful girl. He was letting her touch all over him, and he was doing the same to her. Even though we weren’t together, it hurt so much to watch. I knew the only reason he was doing it was because I had pissed him off earlier, but it still made my heart drop and my stomach roll. I sat there, watching, until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I grabbed my purse and yelled at Jen. “I’m leaving. I’m going to catch a cab back to your apartment. I can’t stand to watch what’s happening on the dance floor.”
She glanced at the dance floor then back at me. “No, I’m coming with you. You shouldn’t be alone.”
I wanted to tell her to stay, but I needed to get the hell out of there. I ran past the dance floor and out the door as fast as I could.
I must have caused a scene, because my brother called my name and Cooper followed me outside. “You caused this,” he yelled, sounding drunk. “You don’t want me anymore. I can dance with whoever the fuck I want, and you can’t say a damn thing about it.”
I faced him, anger boiling up in me. “You’re right, and I didn’t say anything to you, did I? We might not be together but I don’t have to watch it. I left, and I sure as hell didn’t ask you to follow me.”
“Can you just answer one question for me? Why are we done? This can’t be all about Jason coming over and the joint we were smoking.” He sounded as angry as I felt.
“We’re done because of your violent episode the last time you smoked laced pot the douchebag gave you. I told you that it was either me or the drugs. You chose drugs! We’re also done because you let other girls paw all over you! What would have happened between you and that girl if I hadn’t come home when I did? Huh?” I was practically yelling.
“She had just put her hands on me when you walked in. I was just going to bat her hand away. You know I love you and would never cheat on you.”
“You can’t even give up hanging out with that loser for me, even though you promised you would. I’m scared the next time, I’ll be bailing you out of jail. You don’t even care how much that scares me.”
“Is that all this is about? I told you I ran into him. I didn’t call him up and invite him over.”
“It doesn’t matter. You said yes to hanging out with him without even thinking about me. Just you and how you wanted to have fun.” I was too furious. I needed to walk away.
He screamed, “I know that’s not all this is about! Were you cheating on me? Is this the easy way out? Blame it all on me, and then you can go off and be a whore with someone else?”
I noticed my brother when he finally spoke up. “Don’t call my sister a whore. She would never cheat on you either.”
I’d had enough. Without thinking, I yelled, “I’m pregnant!”
I really hadn’t meant to tell Cooper like that, not with such anger and outside of a bar, of all places. It should have been done privately, but the whole conversation was just out of control.
There was a long period of silence. “You’re leaving me because you’re pregnant?” Confusion laced Cooper’s voice.
“Yes. I have to think about what is good for the baby. If you won’t stop doing things for me, you won’t stop for the baby either. What about the next time you smoke laced pot? Will you hit me while I’m pregnant or throw something while the baby is in the room? I can’t think about what I want or what you want. I have to think about what’s best for the baby.”
“And you think me not having anything to do with our baby is what’s best?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just… I can’t trust you to stop partying. Having drugs around isn’t stable, and you’re not willing to give that up.”
“Give me the chance.” Pain filled his voice.
“I already have. You’ve had plenty of chances to prove it, and you’ve failed. Every time. Can we have this conversation some other time, when you’re not drunk?” I looked at my brother who looked as if he was in shock. “Can you get Cooper home safe? He smells like nothing but alcohol.”
“I’m not that drunk anymore. I’d like to discuss this with you. Now. Privately.” Cooper eyed everyone staring at us.
Chris looked at me and then Cooper. “No, man. It will be much better to talk about this after a good night’s sleep. Let the alcohol and anger wear off.”
After what seemed like an eternity, Cooper finally said, “Fine”.
My alarm went off at eight in the mo
rning. I hadn’t slept at all the night before, and I felt as if I had been run over.
I kept thinking about the awful way I’d told Cooper I was pregnant. I also couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation Cooper and I were going to have that day.
I decided I needed to go for a walk and clear my head. I could put on some music and not think of anything; with any luck, I’d miss Cooper’s calls and could put off the conversation. I put my headphones on and purposely used my iPod instead of my iPhone, so I could actually leave my phone behind.
I loved walking around campus this time of the year. They must pay a fortune to keep the place so beautiful. There was not a weed anywhere in sight, and the grass was a perfect length.
An hour later, I finally ended my walk and decided to go to a local coffee shop. I’d just buy some water and sit for a while.
Just as I sat down at a table, I looked up to see Ben, a guy from one of my classes, waving at me.
“Mind if I sit with you?” he asked as he approached.
I really wanted to say, “Yes, I do mind,” but of course I didn’t. “Go ahead.” I hoped my tone would let him know I didn’t feel like talking.
He didn’t get the hint and sat down. He was really cute and had shaggy blond hair. We talked for about twenty minutes about nothing important; and I realized he was a really nice guy. He could be a good friend to have around at this point in my life. It would be nice to have a new friend that I didn’t share with Cooper. All I wanted was friendship. I finished my water and told Ben I’d see him in class and walked out of the coffee shop.
A little while later, I walked back to Jen’s apartment, mulling over the horrible conversation I was going to have with Cooper. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t let it go, not even for a day longer.
As I entered my bedroom, I heard the ringtone for Cooper. I let it go to voicemail and waited until it pinged letting me know I had a message but I didn’t listen to it. Instead, I took the cowardly route and texted him.
