The Dead and the Gone

by Susan Beth Pfeffer

  "Good thinking," Alex said. "Uncle Jimmy says to use the plastic bags for our stuff."

  "Sure," Julie said. "They'll hold less."

  "It's his food," Alex said. "He's doing us the favor. Why don't you fill as many bags as you can while he's gone."

  Julie nodded and began stuffing bags with jars and canned goods. Alex did the same with the cartons. As he worked, he tried to figure out just what was really going on. The moon was responsible for tides, so it made sense if it was closer to Earth, the tides would be higher. How quickly could NASA solve the problem? The distant rumble of thunder unsettled him more.

  He jumped when Julie broke the silence. "Do you think Carlos is okay?" she asked.

  "Sure," Alex said, silently laughing at himself. "He must be pretty busy. I don't know when he'll have a chance to call."

  "Mami, too," Julie said. "With all the looting and everything, the hospitals must be full."

  "And Papi's safe in Milagro del Mar," Alex said. "We're all fine. By Monday everything'll be back in order."

  "I wonder if they've called off school," Julie asked. "I have an English test I haven't studied for."

  Alex grinned. "You're safe," he said. "Even if Holy Angels is open, they'll probably cancel the test."

  Julie continued filling the plastic bags with as much as each could hold. Alex did the same with the cartons. It was nice to tell Julie things would be back to normal by Monday, but he thought that was unlikely. The more food they had at home, the better.

  "How are you doing?" he asked Julie.

  "I've packed twenty bags," she said.

  "Good," Alex said. "Keep on. You know the kind of stuff Mami gets."

  "Better than you do," Julie muttered.

  Alex laughed, but the truth of the matter was he couldn't remember the last time he'd been to a supermarket, and he certainly couldn't remember Papi or Carlos going to one. Groceries, cooking, cleaning—all that was done by Mami, Bri, and Julie. Alex kept his room tidy, and Carlos used to help Papi out occasionally, but it was Bri and Julie who knew how to sew and iron and cook. Even when Mami went back to school, first to get her GED and then to learn how to be an operating room technician, she and the girls did all the housework.

  Not that Alex had ever heard Mami complain about it, or Bri. Julie certainly did, but if Julie were a crown princess, she'd complain about the crown.

  Right on cue, Julie whined, "My arms ache. And I can't reach stuff on the top shelves."

  "Then just take stuff from the shelves you can reach," he said. "Be sure to take canned mushrooms. Papi likes them."

  "I already have a bag," Julie said.

  "Good," Alex said, and went back to packing and thinking. NASA was most likely consulting physicists and astronomers from around the world about the quickest way of getting the moon in place. Things would eventually get back in order.

  By the time Uncle Jimmy returned, Alex had filled all the empty cartons. He and Jimmy loaded the van while Julie returned to assembling the few remaining boxes. Then he and Jimmy filled those boxes and whatever bags remained.

  "Julie, you stay here," Uncle Jimmy said. "Benny'll be outside. Alex and I'll empty this stuff at my place, and then we'll come back and drive you home."

  Alex wasn't crazy about leaving Julie alone in the store, but he supposed she'd be safe locked in with an armed guard standing watch. "Behave yourself," he said to her.

  Julie glared at him. Alex pitied any looters who might make it past Benny.

  Jimmy swiftly drove the four blocks back to his apartment. "Lorraine'll help us unload." he said. "But it's going to take a while to carry all this stuff upstairs."

  Jimmy and Lorraine lived in a second-floor walk-up. Jimmy unloaded the cartons from the van to the first floor, and then Alex carried them upstairs, where Lorraine met him and brought the cartons into her apartment. Alex could hear his little cousins screaming in the background, but that was nothing new. Lorraine said nothing, just grunting occasionally as she pushed the heavier cartons into her home.

  When they finally finished, Lorraine looked up at Alex. "Thank you," she said. "You've helped save my babies' lives."

  "Things'll work out," Alex said. "Give the scientists some time and they'll figure out what to do."

  "This is too big for the scientists," Lorraine said. "Only God can save us now."

  "Then He will," Alex said.

  "Come on, Alex!" Jimmy called from downstairs. "Let's get going."

  Alex gave Lorraine an awkward hug, and raced down the stairs.

  Jimmy drove them back to the bodega, where Alex noticed Benny was no longer standing guard. "Dammit," Jimmy said. "I told him to stay until we got back. Julie, you okay?"

  "People were banging against the steel door," Julie said, crouching behind the counter. "I heard gunshots."

  "It's all right," Alex said. "We're going home now."

  "Okay," Jimmy said, still looking annoyed. "I'll finish packing what's left on my own. Come on, let's load up your stuff."

  Alex was impressed with how many bags Julie had filled and how heavy the bags were. They'd certainly have enough food to last until things got back to normal.

  Jimmy helped them bring the food into the living room, then went back to the bodega. Alex, Briana, and Julie carried most of the bags into the kitchen. Whatever didn't fit there stayed in the living room.

  "The phone rang while you were gone," Briana said. "I think it was Papi, but I can't be sure."

  "What do you mean you can't be sure?" Alex asked, every muscle in his body aching. All he wanted was a hot shower and four more hours' sleep.

  "There was a lot of static," Briana said almost apologetically. "But I heard a man's voice and I'm sure it was Papi's. I think he said something about Puerto Rico."

  "Well, that's good news," Alex said. "If he called, he must be all right. He probably called to say he won't be coming home on Saturday."

  "I told him we're all fine so he won't worry," Bri said.

  "They left me alone," Julie said. "People tried to break in. Someone could have killed me."

  "Are you all right?" Bri asked. Alex could see the worry in her eyes.

  "Of course she is," Alex said. "We all are."

  "Can we call Mami?" Briana asked. "We can tell her about the groceries and that we heard from Papi."

  "We shouldn't bother her at work," Alex said. "She'll call us when she can, or maybe she'll just come home. Look, how about making us some breakfast. We'll all feel better after we've eaten."

  "I can make scrambled eggs," Briana said. "The stove's still working. I checked."

  "Sounds good," Alex said. "I'm going to take a shower. After breakfast we'll go to school."

  "I'm not going anywhere," Julie said. "Not in the blackout."

  "I don't want to go, either," Bri said. "Can't we stay here until Mami comes home?"

  "All right," Alex said. "But I'll go out after breakfast and see what's happening."

  He got into the shower only to find there was no hot water. He got in and out as fast as he could, then dressed in his school clothes.

  "There's no hot water," Alex told Bri.

  "You don't think the people in the apartments will blame Papi, do you?" she asked.

  "No one will blame Papi," Alex said. "It's not just this building. The whole city is probably blacked out. Where's Julie? Did she eat already?"

  "She went back to bed," Briana said, putting scrambled eggs on Alex's plate. "I hope the orange juice is still okay."

  Alex took a sip. "It's fine," he said. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he smelled the eggs. He'd just finished gobbling down the food when the phone rang.

  "Maybe it's Mami!" Briana cried, and raced to answer it. "Hello? It's Carlos! Hi, Carlos. Is everything okay where you are?"

  "Give me the phone, Bri," Alex said. "Carlos, this is Alex. How are you?"

  "I'm okay," Carlos said. "I can only talk for a minute. We're being deployed. I don't know where we're going, but they told us all
to call home. Is everything okay with you?"

  "We're fine," Alex said. "Papi called this morning and spoke to Bri. And Mami's at the hospital. How are things where you are? Is it blacked out?"

  "No, we have electricity," Carlos said. "Is Julie all right?"

  "She's sleeping," Alex said. "Jimmy had us empty out the bodega. She worked really hard. You want me to wake her?"

  "No, that's okay," Carlos said. "Look, Alex, you're in charge now until Papi gets home. Mami's going to be depending on you."

  "I know," Alex said. "Carlos, have they told you anything about how long before things get back to normal?"

  "Nothing definite," Carlos said. "Just that it's going to take a long time and we should expect lots of trouble."

  "Well, we're okay," Alex said. "We got a lot of food from the bodega. And Jimmy's around in case we need any help until Papi gets home."

  "Good," Carlos said. "I'd better get off. There's a long line here. You take care, Alex, and take care of Mami and the girls. You're the man of the house now."

  "Don't worry about us," Alex said, but before he had a chance to say good-bye, he heard Carlos hang up.

  "Who was that?" Julie asked, coming out from her room. "Mami?"

  "It was Carlos," Bri replied. "He called to make sure we were all right."

  "Carlos?" Julie said. "Why didn't you let me speak to him?"

  "He was in a hurry," Alex said. "He's being deployed. See, Bri, there's nothing to worry about. The Marines are on the job."

  "Mami'll be so glad we heard from him," Briana said. "Julie, do you want any eggs?"

  "My stomach hurts," Julie replied. "I was so scared at the bodega, I ate a bunch of candy bars."

  "Well, that was real bright of you," Alex said. His head was pounding, but he knew it had nothing to do with candy.

  "You don't know what it was like," Julie said. "I was all alone there and I could hear people shooting."

  "People are shooting?" Bri asked. "Are we safe, Alex?"

  "Of course we are," Alex said. He could have killed Julie. "You know what it's like uptown. We're fine here. I'm going to go to school and see what I can find out."

  "But you'll come right back?" Bri asked. "Even if school's open?"

  "All right," Alex said. "Don't worry. Everything'll be all right. I promise."

  "You can't promise that," Julie said, but he chose to ignore her as he left the apartment.

  The chaos on the streets before dawn was nothing compared to the madness he encountered. The traffic was worse than he'd ever seen. The side streets were like parking lots, and so were West End and Amsterdam Avenues, where the traffic went uptown. Broadway was limited to emergency vehicles, and they were flying down the avenue, their sirens screaming. With the traffic lights not working, the drivers made up their own rules about when to go. No one stopped for anybody, and Alex raced each time he crossed the street. There were few other people walking, and the stores all had their steel gates locked in place. But even without pedestrians, the noise from sirens, honking horns, and screaming drivers was overwhelming.

  Vincent de Paul was on Seventy-third and Columbus, and unless the weather was really bad, Alex walked. The skies were threatening, but the thunderstorm he'd been expecting since last night had yet to arrive. Sweat dripped down his brow, but he couldn't be sure whether it was from the heat, the running, or fear. Julie was right. He couldn't promise anything.

  When he got to the multistory, brick school building Alex found a sign on the door. CLOSED UNTIL MONDAY.

  Alex wasn't surprised, but he was disappointed. School had always been a safe haven for him, and he'd counted on finding someone there who could give him a better idea of what was going on. Not that he was so sure he really wanted to know.

  He turned away from the door, and almost immediately the rain began. Lightning bolts flashed and thunder clapped. He cursed himself for not having brought an umbrella, for going out in the first place. He couldn't even be sure the subways were running in a blackout.

  He walked to the Seventy-second Street station and found a chain across the stairwell. A soaking wet cop stood nearby, watching the ambulances fly down Broadway.

  Alex gestured toward the subway station.

  "Closed," the cop said. "The tunnels flooded."

  "Thanks," Alex said. He wondered what had caused the flooding, but it was raining too hard for conversation. He ran the mile or so back home, and was drenched by the time he got into the apartment.

  "School's closed until Monday," he said. "Did Mami call?"

  Briana shook her head. "Julie went back to bed," she said. "You're soaking."

  "Yeah, I know," Alex said. "I'm going to dry off and go to sleep. Wake me up before Monday, okay?"

  Briana laughed. "Go to sleep," she said. "By the time you wake up, I bet Mami'll be home and everything will be okay."

  "I bet you're right," Alex said, but he knew that was a fairy tale. As he hung up his wet school clothes and changed back into his jeans and T-shirt, he thought about the tunnels flooding. The subway Mami took to Queens went through a tunnel. But that had been last night, and things must have been all right then. Still he knew he wouldn't feel at peace until they heard from her.

  Bed looked very inviting. But first he got down on his knees, made the sign of the cross, and prayed for the safety of his mother and father and brother, for the safety of his sisters, and then for the safety of his country and the world.

  God, show us mercy, he prayed. And give me strength.

  Only then did he allow himself to escape into sleep.

  Chapter 2

  Friday, May 20

  He was awake when his clock began blinking 12:00, 12:00. Alex checked his watch. It was 6:45 AM.

  He could hear the whir of the refrigerator turning back on, but there were no other sounds in the apartment. Throwing on his robe, he tiptoed into the living room, not wanting to wake Bri or Julie. All the grocery bags scattered around looked ridiculous now, a crazy extravagance during a crazy day.

  Alex turned on the TV, lowering the sound as quickly as he could. He sat close to the set, keeping the volume as low as possible so his sisters wouldn't be disturbed. Only a couple of stations came in, but he wasn't looking for variety, just information. Both stations were doing news broadcasts, focusing exclusively on the emergency.

  On one station the broadcaster was talking about conditions in Europe, but Alex knew that could wait. He switched to the second station. At first that one talked about how things were elsewhere in the United States. No word of survivors on the Carolina barrier islands. Terrible conditions in Cape Cod.

  It took about fifteen minutes of terrible news around the country before the newscasters began focusing on New York. Alex sat there, absolutely still, the sound so low he could barely hear. The words and pictures assaulted him anyway. Horrific loss of life. Lower Manhattan decimated. Staten Island, Long Island devastated. Blackouts, looting, riots. Curfew between 8 PM and 6 AM. Tides twenty feet tall, sweeping away people, trees, even buildings. Mandatory evacuations. Plane crashes. Countless numbers of people dead in subways and in cars from tunnel flooding.

  Alex hadn't thought about people being on the subways when the flooding first began.

  He felt a wave of panic and had to tell himself to calm down. It would be easy enough to find out if Mami was all right. All he had to do was call the hospital and confirm that she was there. Sure, they weren't supposed to call her at work unless it was an emergency, but they hadn't heard from her in over twenty-four hours and that was emergency enough.

  Mami had the hospital number written on the scratch pad she kept by the phone. Just seeing it comforted him. He picked up the phone, but it was dead.

  For an instant he went crazy. The phone was dead because Mami was dead. But then he realized how foolish that was, and he began shaking with silent laughter. No wonder they hadn't heard from Mami. It was a miracle the phone service had lasted as long as it had, long enough for Papi and Carlos to call.
/>   Alex went back to the TV and switched to the station with all the international news. Their newscaster was interviewing a distinguished-looking scientist about how long it would take before things got back to normal.

  "Things may never get back to normal," the scientist said. "I don't want to be an alarmist, but I know of nothing humans can do to return the moon to its orbit."

  "But surely there must be something," the newscaster said. "NASA must be working on a solution day and night."

  "Even if they can come up with something, it may take months, even years, before they can implement it," the scientist replied. "What happened yesterday will be nothing compared to what lies ahead."

  "You're not suggesting we all panic," the newscaster said in that calming, don't-panic voice Alex associated with TV when things were at their worst. "Surely panic is the one thing we shouldn't do right now."

  Before Alex had a chance to find out what the scientist's alternative to panic might be, the electricity went out again.

  Alex cursed under his breath. No phone, no electricity, two kid sisters depending on him to take care of them until their parents returned. God certainly didn't want to make things easy for him.

  Or for anyone else, he thought. Floods in the subways. Devastation throughout the world. How many people had died in the past two days? Thousands? Millions? How long would it take before Carlos was back at his base? How long before Papi could return from Puerto Rico, before the hospital could let Mami go home?

  Stop it, he told himself. You're starting to sound like Aunt Lorraine. One dramatica in a family is enough. No matter how bad things were, he couldn't allow himself to be frightened. Not as long as he was responsible for Briana's and Julie's well-being.

  Alex went back to his bedroom and picked up his notebook. Knowledge was the enemy of fear. Before every debate he always wrote lists of his argument's strengths and weaknesses. He'd do the same now.

  He made three columns and labeled them: WHAT I KNOW; WHAT I THINK; WHAT I DON'T KNOW.

  Under WHAT I KNOW he wrote:

  No subways