Morgan, Nicole - Sweet Redemption [Sweet Awakenings 1] (Siren Publishing Allure)

by Неизвестный

  She watched as he dropped to the floor and started to rock himself back and forth, holding his knees against his body with his arms. He was still holding the gun as he started to cry.

  “You did it to her, didn’t you?” She would act just like any woman who had been cheated on should act. Betrayed. “How could you? You don’t love me. And to think I was going to take you back. I was going to ask you if you still had that ring, if you still wanted to marry me. I am such an idiot.”

  She made to run to her bedroom in a crying fit. If she got away and closed the door, pretending that she was too hurt to face him, maybe that would give her time to call 911. She didn’t make it two feet. Brent grabbed her ankles, and she lunged forward, just barely missing her head hitting the entertainment center.

  “No, Tamara. I can’t let you go back there. Not after last time. I can’t leave you alone near a phone until I am sure that you won’t do anything stupid.” He sounded calmer now.

  Anything stupid? I guess beating up and raping a woman and then holding that woman and your ex-girlfriend hostage at gunpoint doesn’t qualify in his book as stupid. She had to be strong. She must continue to play along. Making him believe her lies was the only weapon she had.

  “Fine. Let me up, but do not touch me, and do not talk to me. Come with me if you want, but I am going to get Shelby a wet towel for her head and a pillow and blanket. We can’t very well work things out and have a happy life together if she dies, now can we?”

  She started to slowly walk down the hall to the linen closet. Would he stop her? She could feel him watching her. She was several strides in front of him by this point. She could make a break for her bedroom, but he was so unbalanced she was afraid he would try to shoot her. No, it was better to wait. Get him to trust her a little bit at a time. Shelby had spoken to them. So, she must be okay. At least Tamara hoped so. Was she doing the right things? Saying the right things? She hoped her instincts wouldn’t get Shelby or herself killed.

  She retrieved an extra pillow that she kept in the closet along with a blanket. She then picked up a washcloth and slowly walked into the bathroom to wet it with cool water. She came back into the living room, completely aware of Brent’s eyes following her every move, and gently lifted Shelby’s head to place it on the pillow. Shelby moaned a little. She was obviously in so much pain. Then she covered her with a blanket and applied a cold washcloth to her head. Tamara didn’t know if she was even doing what would help Shelby or her injuries, but it was something. She just felt like she had to do something.

  She sat back down on the couch. Would she ever get to see Jack again? She thought of their lovemaking last night. She wondered if they had conceived a child together. Could Jack’s child be inside her right now? The idea both excited and scared her. The idea of carrying Jack’s child would make her happy because she loved Jack so much, but she was scared at the idea that she might not make it through this alive and their baby would have to die along with her. She could not think of it. She had to remain strong.

  She glanced at the clock above the TV. It was 2:00 p.m. She had survived Brent for almost four hours now. She didn’t know how long Shelby had had to endure Brent’s torture. She didn’t know how much longer she would be able to stay in this apartment with him. She wasn’t even sure how long Shelby could go on without receiving some sort of medical treatment.

  What really was scaring her, and what she really wanted to know, was how long it would be until Brent snapped and took one step further and plunged into insanity. And what’s more, she had no idea what would cause it.

  “Who would have thought that one mall could have so many jewelry stores?” Rex, as usual, was complaining about shopping. He hated every type of shopping so much so that he paid extra to have his groceries delivered.

  “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Rex. It’s only 2:00. We’ve barely started. I am not going to buy a ring until I am sure that it is the perfect ring for Tamara. She deserves the best, and I will see to it that she gets it.”

  “Yeah, well, if she deserves the best, why are you making her marry you?”

  “Ha, ha, you just wait. When you take the plunge, I will be the first one waiting in line to hand you as much crap as you have given me.” They both laughed.

  It was 2:00, and he was at the mall buying an engagement ring for the most amazing woman in the world. He was a lucky bastard! Again, Jack looked up silently thanking whatever divine being had allowed Tamara to come into his life. Life was good!

  Chapter 18

  “Are you hungry?” Brent again hadn’t said anything for quite some time.

  “I guess. We should probably get some fluids into Shelby, though. She doesn’t look well, Brent.”

  Please let him listen. The last several times she had tried to help Shelby in any way, he’d ignored her requests, just staring off into mid air, as if watching something or seeing something that only he knew was there. Shelby hadn’t moved or even made a sound since Tamara had placed her head on the pillow. This was getting scary. If Shelby didn’t move or moan or do anything, Tamara was going to really start to panic.

  “Brent, answer me. Let’s get something for Shelby. She looks horrible. Enough is enough. You love me. I love you. We both screwed up and made mistakes. Let’s not add murder to the list of our sins. Let’s get her help. Maybe we can pay her so she won’t talk? She’s so greedy it might just work.”

  It was important that Tamara not show too much kindness towards Shelby. She had to at least give the impression that the only thing that mattered was Brent’s future with her. If she showed too much concern for Shelby, he would have his doubts.

  “Fine, go make her some soup. What do you want?” He stopped and stared at her, his eyes glittering with anger. “No pizza!”

  Tamara pretended to look ashamed. Secretly, she felt a bit of triumph knowing that she had outsmarted him before. That gave her the courage to believe she could do it again. She wondered, could she cry on a whim? Only one thing in her life had ever made her truly cry, the idea of losing Jack. Focus on that, Tamara!

  “I’m sorry, Brent, I’m so sorry. I should have never called the police. I was just so hurt and angry and…” She started to sob. She wondered if she was doing a good job. She knew half of the noises she was making were fake. Did he know, too?

  Brent set the gun down on the top shelf of the entertainment unit, out of her reach, and came to her. “You never told me that. You never said you were sorry. I needed to hear that.” He held out his arms to her, gesturing for her to come to him. “Let me hold you. I’ve missed it so much.”

  She reluctantly walked into his arms. “I’m sorry, Brent. I love you.” Tamara choked out the words. She hated saying them, but this wasn’t about the truth. It was about survival.

  “You feel so good wrapped in my arms. It’s like your body was made for mine. We are perfect together.” He pulled her away from his embrace just enough to rest his hands on the sides of her face and look into her eyes. “You feel that too, don’t you? You know we belong together. It’s what God intended when we were made. You believe that, don’t you?”

  Now she really did start crying. They weren’t tears of joy as he probably assumed, but they were tears of sorrow. She hated being in his arms, she hated having him touch her, and she hated hearing the words he believed to be true. Tamara knew that look in Brent’s eyes, knew he wanted to kiss her. She was repulsed, but she knew she had no choice but to accept his kiss.

  He leaned his head down to hers. At the last second before their lips touched, she had an idea. “Brent, no.” It was a mere whisper of disapproval as she placed her hand on his chest, slowing pushing him away. She left his arms and turned away from him.

  He became enraged. He grabbed her arms and swung her back to him. “You swore that you loved me, you lying bitch!” He reached his hand up and backhanded her like he had only a month ago. But this time, it was with so much force that she fell back into her glass coffee table. It didn’t break, but s
he felt like every bone in her body did.

  “Brent, how could you?” She was looking at him, wide-eyed with shock and disbelief. “You swore you would never intentionally hurt me ever again. You’re the liar, not me! I didn’t want you to kiss me because you had…because you…” She stopped. She had to collect her thoughts. She had to be convincing. It was the only weapon she had. “Have you even had a shower since you did what you did with Shelby last night?” She screamed the words at him.

  Brent ran to her side. He cradled her body against his as he held her tightly. “Tamara, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. You’re right. I’m awful. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve just been so confused. I want to trust you, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid of you not loving me as much as I love you. But, you’re right. I was just unfaithful to you last night. You must need time to heal from the shock of that betrayal. Of course I understand. I will take a shower now.”

  Yes! He was going to shower. He would have to leave her alone. But the balloon of her joy was instantly deflated when she heard his next request.

  “I want you to come with me when I shower. She won’t wake up.” He cocked his head indicating Shelby again, his obvious hatred for her shining through his actions.

  No way was she going to get in that shower with him. “No way, Brent. I will not take a shower with you! You stick your dick in something like that and then you expect me to get naked with you. It’s going to take time.” She waited, wondering if he would hear her out or blow up. He obviously decided to hear her out because he said nothing. “Brent, I love you.” She touched her hand to his face. “I don’t know when we’ll be together like that again. I want it to happen, but I need time.”

  He was watching her. He was doubting her again and wondering if he should believe her. Tamara decided to take another chance. “I slept with Jack Peyton that one night on New Year’s Eve. Sure, we have spent time together since then, we have gone out on dates, but I haven’t slept with him since that night. I felt so guilty about New Year’s Eve. Every time he tried anything since then, I could only think of you.” She looked up at him with the best wounded eyes she could muster. He was still listening, might as well go for broke. “Brent, I made mistakes. This whole month, all I wanted to do was make you so jealous that you would never look at another woman again.” Tamara stole a glance at Shelby and then looked back at Brent. “Obviously that plan backfired.”

  Brent closed his eyes and nodded. He gently brushed a kiss across her forehead. “I understand, sweetheart. I’m sorry. Obviously you’re not the only one who has made mistakes. I will make it right again. Things will be good for us, you’ll see.” Taking her hand, Brent led her down the hall to the bathroom.

  Did he really think after everything she just told him that she was going to get in that shower with him? It was all lies of course, but he didn’t know that. Did he?

  He lowered the lid to the toilet seat and sat her down. He turned to put on the water. Walking to the door, he was silently debating whether or not he could trust her. He obviously decided he couldn’t. He closed the door and locked it. He looked at her. “I’m sorry, Tamara.”

  What was he sorry for? Oh, God, was he going to rape her? Brent walked over to the small wrought iron baker’s rack that she used in her bathroom to place extra towels on. He picked it up and placed it in front of the door.

  “I wish I could trust you completely, but I’m afraid that you’ll run out. I can’t let you do that.” He actually looked contrite.

  It was a ridiculous obstacle. The baker’s rack probably didn’t weigh more than ten pounds. If she had to, she could move it, but it was clearly meant as a barrier to give him time to react if she did run. “I wish you could trust me too, Brent.” She lowered her head. Where had she heard before that when someone was losing touch with reality it was important to use their name a lot? That it personalizes things. Maybe it was in a movie. She wasn’t even sure if she was remembering it correctly. At this point though, anything was worth a shot. A shot! The gun! He’d left the gun out there. It was on the top shelf, out of her reach. But not out of Shelby’s. She was taller than Tamara. Would she wake up before he was done showering? Would she even think to look for a weapon up there? Or would she just run and escape trying to get help? She knew she was only kidding herself. Even if Shelby did wake up, there was no way she would be able to do anything more than moan in agony. Tamara was on her own.

  Brent started to undress. She could feel him watching her intently. She looked down, avoiding his gaze at all costs. If she looked at him while he was getting naked, he might mistake the look in her eyes. He might try to do something.

  Brent dropped his shirt to the ground and walked over to Tamara. He used his forefinger and thumb to raise her chin up, effectively making her eyes meet his. “You are so beautiful, and I have been such a fool.” He was rubbing his thumb back and forth against her chin. “You have asked me in the past for more variance in the bedroom, and I always denied you. I didn’t want to demean our love. I was so wrong, and you were so right. If we really love each other, we have to love all of the things about each other.”

  Tamara didn’t like where this was heading at all. She would let him kill her before she let him touch her. That she vowed silently to herself. She waited. She wouldn’t jump to conclusions just yet, but she would be ready to fight him if she had to.

  “When you’re ready, we will do all sorts of things to each other. You might be shocked by some of them at first. But I will find a way to teach you to love them. I will make sure you enjoy the same things I enjoy.”

  She shouldn’t ask. Maybe if she seemed curious it would give him more reason to trust in their future again. But then again, maybe he would get aroused and want her now. What should she do? Taking a chance, she asked, “What sort of things, Brent?”

  He smiled at her. “I don’t want to give too much away now, my love, but let’s just say that one day I will show you that there is much pleasure in pain. We will share it all together, we will love it together.” He stopped for a moment and cocked his head to the side again, as if considering something. “Perhaps that is the mistake I made with Katherine. Maybe if I had opened up to her sexually I never would have had to…” His sentence trailed off, each word spoken slower and quieter. He pulled his hand from her chin and turned away.

  She could see the muscles tense in his back. Katherine? Who the hell is Katherine? “Brent, who is Katherine?”

  He turned to her. “Katherine? I didn’t say Katherine.”

  Oh, so he thought she was stupid. “It sure sounded like Katherine to me, Brent. Who is she?”

  “No, no, no. You misunderstood. I don’t even know a Katherine.” Technically, he wasn’t lying to her. He didn’t know any Katherine right now. He used to, but she’s been dead for quite some time, so she didn’t count.

  “Do you swear?” Act suspicious, Tamara. It throws him off balance when he has to worry about your feelings.

  “I swear, sweetheart. There is no one in my heart but you. There is no one I want but you.” He walked back over to her and she was surprised when she was met with the view of the bulge in his pants.

  “Brent, I said I’m not ready to make love to you.” Stay strong Tamara, you can do this.

  He started to rub his hands through her hair. Her face was so close to his groin. She felt the sickening knot form in her stomach. Was he going to force her to perform oral sex on him?

  “I know, honey. I won’t rush you. It has to be what you want too. I need to get in that shower. There will be no hot water left if I don’t. Do you really love me, Tamara?”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. Her mouth was dry with fear. “Of course I do.”

  He used his fingers to raise her chin up at him again. “Then since we can’t make love, I want you to do something for me. I need you to watch me while I’m in the shower.” He inhaled deeply, obviously becoming aroused by the ideas churning in his head. “I’ve never masturbated in front of you. I am
hard because of you, and I want you to watch me touch myself as I imagine taking you in many different ways.”

  He had to be kidding? At least she wouldn’t have to be the one touching him. At least he wouldn’t be touching her. “I’ll watch you, Brent.” She formed the most genuine smile she could muster.

  “Good, it will be like the first step in our new relationship.” He started to peel down his pants.

  What kind of a sick and twisted relationship got a fresh start by a woman watching a man masturbate? She couldn’t act appalled. She had to go with it. Just keep remembering that you have to survive this. You have to get help for Shelby. You have to marry Jack! Oh, Jack, I love you!

  “Fifteen more minutes or one more store, whichever comes first. If you don’t buy a ring by then, I will kill you. I mean, geez, man, make a damn decision already. We have easily seen hundreds of rings. They were all shiny and sparkly, so what’s the problem?”

  “My problem, what’s your problem? You got two phone numbers out of this deal, and that brunette from the shop upstairs is coming to your place tonight.”

  Rex smiled. “Yeah. She is hot! But that’s all the more reason we need to hurry. I didn’t get nearly enough rest last night. If I want to give her the Rex Metcalf special I at least need a nap.”

  Jack shook his head. “Damn it, Rex, this is important to me. If you need your rest so badly, you should cancel and have her come over another night. Tamara’s ring comes first, got it?”

  Rex held up his hands in submission. “Yeah, I got it, sorry!” Rex had noticed Jack’s mood go from ecstatic to grim in the past hour. “What’s wrong with you anyway? This morning you were excruciatingly happy, and now you’ve got your panties in a twist. What gives?”

  Jack stopped and leaned over the railing of a wishing well in the center courtyard of the mall. He wasn’t sure what, but something was bothering him. It had started several hours ago. He just wrote if off as him being an idiot. “I don’t know. I am happy, I’m so happy. Maybe I’m just stressed because I haven’t found a ring yet. I don’t know.”