“It is. And it’s Erica’s. You get the couch, pal.” Carla grinned at Jason with the familiarity that bespoke long friendship. She stood and slipped around Jason to exit the room. “I’m going to go manage the chaos.”
“I’ll be right out,” Erica promised.
“Hey,” Jason said to Erica, “we got a reminder call from the doctor. We’re supposed to arrive fifteen minutes early and bring the babies’ medical history.”
Erica’s stomach twisted with anxiety.
Tell him.
“Listen,” he said, “I’ve got to run to that meeting with the lawyers. You okay here?”
She nodded. “Brian and Carla are really nice.”
He walked a little into the room, hooked an arm around her neck and gave her a fast, hard kiss. Then he spun and left the room, and a moment later she heard the front door slam.
She put her hands to her lips, swallowed. This morning he’d apologized for kissing her, and now he’d kissed her again. She could smell his cologne on herself, just a trace of it.
She sank down onto the bed, needing just a moment before she went out to take care of the twins. Just a moment to think about and relish that kiss.
And a moment to try to calm her worries about tomorrow’s appointment, the doctor with the poor bedside manner and the fact that she didn’t have any medical history at all to show her.
Tomorrow would turn out okay. It was for the twins. She’d figure out an excuse. Wouldn’t she?
Chapter Eight
As soon as Jason walked back into Brian and Carla’s house, he noticed the smell of Christmas cookies and heard the sound of women’s laughter.
The contrast with the hard-edged, seamy lawyer meeting he’d just come from couldn’t have been greater. He loosened his tie.
He wanted to come home to this world.
Still, he had to remember that he wasn’t ready. Screwing this up by acting too soon would be disaster. On some level, he knew that was what had happened with Renea; he’d been tired of the tomcatting life, had met Renea, thought she was something special, and had moved too fast. He couldn’t make that mistake again.
Girded against his impulses, he walked into the kitchen.
“Where’s Erica?” he asked immediately. So much for not focusing on her.
“We...we kind of made her go change,” Carla said, laughing.
“Hey.” Jason’s protective instincts took over. “Don’t be hard on her. She’s new to how we all joke around.”
“No, no, we were nice! It’s just that...she didn’t know this is an ugly sweater party. How could she?”
“And her sweater really was kind of ugly...” That was Lisa, Randall’s wife. She had a good heart, but no filter. “But not ugly in the way it was supposed to be.”
“Stop.” Carla frowned at her. “I dug up one of my ugly sweaters for her and she’s changing and getting the twins ready.”
“So you really like her?” Lisa asked. “How’d you guys meet?”
He didn’t want to contribute to the gossip train. “Long story. I gotta go get out of this monkey suit.”
And on the way, as much as he’d intended not to do it, he found himself heading upstairs and knocking on the door of the guest suite.
When she called for him to come in, he had to stop and stare.
Normally, Erica wore loose, plain clothes. But now she was dressed in a snug-fitting sweater in a bright shade of pink with white fluffy fur on it. He supposed the sweater was a little silly, but it certainly wasn’t ugly. She looked stunning, sitting on the floor with the twins while they played with a stack of blocks. He couldn’t help but stare.
“What’s wrong? I shouldn’t have let them give me this sweater, should I?” She stood up and came over to him.
He reached out and took one of her hands. “You absolutely should have. You look gorgeous.”
She looked down at herself. “It’s a little tight. And it’s supposed to be ugly, but...”
“Hey.” He touched her chin so she had to look into his eyes. “You look really pretty, and it’s not too tight. I say wear it. But...” He dropped his hand from her face because he was so extremely tempted to kiss her. And he’d decided he wasn’t going to do that again. “You wear whatever’s comfortable.”
The hallway outside the guest suite was balcony style, with a direct view into the main family room, where the party would take place. Trying not to focus on Erica, Jason stepped outside and leaned over the balcony, looking down. Christmas lights twinkled on the tree, and a real fire glowed in the fireplace. Brian and Carla stood together, arm in arm, talking quietly.
Jason wanted what Brian had with a longing so intense that his chest hurt.
Erica came to stand beside him. Her wistful expression matched the way he felt.
“I hope they know what they’ve got,” he said.
She nodded.
“Make you sad?”
“A little.” She paused, watching as Brian tugged Carla into a hug and kiss. “But we have to remember that not everyone has it like that. For so many people, it’s not like the commercials.”
“Yeah. True.”
“And,” she added, putting an arm around his waist, “it’s not what Christmas is really about.”
The fact that she’d voluntarily touched him made him go still, every muscle controlled. He had to treat her like a bird that had landed on his arm, with gentleness, no sudden movements.
He turned to her and smiled, determinedly keeping his elbows propped on the balcony railing rather than letting them wrap around her as he wanted to do. “You’re right,” he said. “Joseph and Mary weren’t living the dream when Jesus was born.”
“Exactly.” She smiled up at him and then looked down at the cozy room below. “They’re great, Carla and Brian. I like them.”
There was a sound from the bedroom behind them, and they both turned back to see the babies. “I need to get them dressed for the party. Wish they had something cuter to wear.”
She’d given him the perfect cue. “Hold that thought. I’ll be right back.”
When he returned to the guest suite, she was back on the floor with the twins, who were now stripped down to diapers. Teddy’s scooting crawl was already a little more efficient, and Mikey seemed to be stage directing, waving his arms and babbling at his brother.
“Don’t be mad,” he said, holding out a bag to her. “I was walking from the car to the lawyer’s office, and there was a kids’ clothing store... I couldn’t resist. Consider it my Christmas present to them.”
She took the bag, looked at him with a wrinkled forehead and then opened it. He held his breath. Too silly? Not classy enough? He was opening his mouth to offer to return them when she let out a little squeal. “Oh, these are perfect!”
The joy on her face spread warmth through his whole body. He wanted to keep giving her joy, whatever the cost.
She laid the outfits on the floor beside each other. They were one-piecers with snaps on the bottom; he’d been with the twins enough now to know that was what you needed for the diaper set.
“Should Teddy be the elf and Mikey the Santa, or the other way around?” She studied them and then looked up at him.
He sank to his knees beside her. “I was thinking Mikey’s more the Santa type. Even though he doesn’t move around much, he’s kind of the boss. Teddy’s like the sidekick who gets things done.”
She turned and put her hand on his arm, and when he looked into her eyes, they were brimming with tears. “You already get that about them?”
“Hey.” He reached out, and when a single tear rolled down, he brushed a thumb along her cheek. “I wanted this to make you happy.”
She cleared her throat and nodded, her eyes never leaving his. “It does. You have no idea how much.�
�
The sound of laughter from downstairs broke into their silence. “Come on, let’s get them dressed.”
As he dressed Teddy while Erica got the Santa suit on Mikey, something softened inside him. Not only did he care for Erica, but he was coming to care for her children, as well. He wanted with all his heart for Mikey to start crawling and walking and for Teddy to learn to talk. As he looked into Teddy’s wide brown eyes, he felt like Teddy understood, because he offered a sweet smile before reaching out to grab for the button on Jason’s shirt.
“Hey, quit that now.” He batted Teddy’s hand away and finished snapping the suit, then picked him up and stood him on his feet.
Teddy couldn’t support himself or balance, but he was approximating a standing position, and when Erica looked up from putting on Mikey’s hat, her eyes widened. “That’s how he’ll look when he’s walking! Oh, Jason, I want so much for them to catch up.”
“I want that, too.” He sat Teddy down next to Mikey. “Listen, I need to run downstairs and see if I can borrow a sweater from Brian. But there’s something I want to tell you.”
He hadn’t known he was going to say this until it came out of his mouth. He’d been thinking about how he’d given up his quest to find answers about Kimmie, but he hadn’t lost track of the fact that he had some work and growing to do before he could hope to have a relationship.
The beautiful woman and adorable babies in front of him were making him want to speed up on that goal. Maybe he could learn it best by doing it. Strong, hot joy bloomed in his chest at the possibility that he and Erica might be able to build something together.
If there was any chance of that, he had to be honest. “I haven’t always been the best... You know how we were talking about Kimmie’s values? Well, mine haven’t always been perfect.”
“Whose have?” She watched him, her face accepting. “Are you worried about something tonight?”
“It’s... There are some women.” He hadn’t been as bad as a lot of guys, but still, he didn’t want Erica getting upset or hurt. “I dated quite a bit before I got engaged, and some of those women might be here.”
“Trying to get you back?” she asked lightly, but there was concern underneath her light tone.
“No. But maybe not being the most... I mean, I wasn’t...” He broke off and then started again. “What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that I care for you and I want to pursue something with you, if you’re willing. But there’s some baggage.”
Her eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. “That’s not what you said this morning.”
“I was fighting against what I felt inside,” he admitted.
She looked at the floor and he thought he’d doomed himself with her. Then she started fussing with Mikey’s outfit, adjusting his little white fur cuffs. “I...well, I have some baggage, too.” She looked up at him. “Not the same kind, but it could hurt the chances that we could...”
He gripped her hand. “Whatever is in your past, I’m going to do my best to help you get over it and move on. And I hope you’ll do the same for me.”
She bit her lip and nodded, but this time, she didn’t meet his eyes. She was shy. He had the sense that she was almost completely inexperienced with men.
He held out a hand and helped her to her feet, feeling the fragility of her slender fingers. She was vulnerable. Innocent.
He had to get this right. He couldn’t ruin another woman’s life, break another woman’s heart. Especially when that woman was Erica.
* * *
As Erica walked down the stairs into the crowd of lively, laughing strangers, her stomach twisted with nerves. But she wanted to do this. Wanted to be a part of Jason’s world. She tightened her grip on Teddy and Mikey and walked out into the party.
Immediately, she was surrounded by women, oohing and aahing over the boys and their outfits. Everyone wanted to hold them, and Teddy and Mikey, being budding showmen, smiled and laughed and agreeably let themselves be passed from person to person.
“Those outfits,” a woman named Lisa said. “Where did you get them?”
Erica hesitated, not sure whether Jason would want to admit to having given the boys such a gift.
“Seriously, was it around here?” someone else asked. “Those are adorable.”
“I think the bag said Children’s Cloud Creations.” She looked around for Jason, but he was nowhere to be seen. “Jason bought them.”
“That place is expensive!” Lisa looked speculatively at Erica.
It was?
“Are you and Jason, like, together?” Lisa pressed.
Erica bit her lip and looked down, but that was bad because it made her notice that her borrowed sweater was a little more revealing than she would have liked it to be, especially now that the shield of the twins was gone. “I...uh...I don’t really know.”
Carla pushed between Lisa and Erica. “Don’t mind her. She means well, but she’s way too nosy.”
“I didn’t mean... Oh. I was overstepping, wasn’t I?”
Carla nodded. “Yep. And you told me I should call you on it, so I am.” She turned to Erica. “We’re together all the time, the spouses, because our husbands work together. Well, and Delphine joins in, too, although she’s the cop in the family.” She nodded toward a tall, slender African American woman who was deep in conversation with Carla’s husband, Brian, while a couple of toddlers played on the floor in front of them.
Carla and Lisa’s ongoing conversation gave Erica a chance to regroup. She picked up Mikey and kept an eye on Teddy, who was scooting toward a bouncy toy.
She was overwhelmed with everything that was happening, so much so that she felt like her mind was on overload.
Worry about the doctor’s appointment tomorrow bounced against excitement that Jason actually seemed to like her. Her! The one with the druggie mother and church-bin clothes, the perpetual new girl and sometime foster kid, was the choice of a handsome, successful, kind man like Jason. The way he was with the twins brought tears to her eyes.
What would happen, though, when he found out that he was related to them?
Jason came inside with another man, carrying armloads of wood, which they stashed by the fireplace. Immediately, Jason looked around the room, and when he saw her, he headed her way.
All the people here and he chose to talk to her. Of course, he was kind and was acting as a host, but still, she felt special and cherished, truly honored.
Why had Kimmie been so adamant that Jason shouldn’t have the twins, shouldn’t even know them? Was it to maintain her own perfect image in her brother’s mind, to continue thinking of herself as the big sister role model?
If that was Kimmie’s reason, it was starting to seem a little bit selfish. Jason could offer so much to the twins. It was they who needed a role model, and Jason would be an amazing one.
A pretty, dark-haired woman stepped into Jason’s path and put a hand on his arm. Erica couldn’t hear the exchange, but she could read the body language. The woman was definitely interested in Jason.
He made a couple of quiet comments and nodded toward Erica. The woman turned and looked at her, cocked her head to the side and shrugged. Then she swooshed her arm as if to gesture Jason over toward Erica. He did as she bid, laughing, and behind him, the brunette pointed and nodded as if to provide an endorsement.
That was a little embarrassing, especially considering how many people had seen. But it felt good, too. If Jason was choosing her, maybe she did have something to offer, not just as a friend or helper, but as a woman.
Jason approached, and Erica hoped for a little time alone with him to catch her breath. But before he could get through the crowd, another couple came up to Erica. “Hi!” the woman greeted her, a toddler on her hip. “How old are your little guys?”
Erica steeled herself for the inevi
table comparisons. “Fifteen months,” she said, hugging Mikey a little closer.
“Hey, that’s how old our princess is, too!” The woman nodded toward the little girl she was holding, all dressed up in a red-and-pink-striped dress and tights.
With the features of a Down syndrome baby.
“She’s beautiful,” Erica said. “Look, Mikey, this is...what’s her name?”
“Miranda. And I’m Corrine. Miranda, say hi to Mikey.” The woman lowered her voice. “I think...Jason talked to Ralph, here, about Dr. Chen. We consulted with her about Miranda.”
“Thank you for the reference. I appreciate it.” Which was true, mostly.
Jason finally arrived at their little cluster. “I see you’ve met. Hey, Miranda, sweetie!” He held out his arms for the baby.
Corrine and Ralph looked at each other. “You sure you want to hold her?”
Jason laughed self-consciously. “I’m known as the worst with babies,” he said to Erica. To the couple he added, “I’ve had a little practice lately.”
“He’s great with the twins,” Erica said, and finally the mother released little Miranda into Jason’s arms.
The dad whistled. “Man, have you changed. Are you the reason for this?” he asked Erica.
She shrugged. “I guess I am,” she said shyly.
Jason put an arm around her. “She’s been very patient. And I’ve learned that you don’t feed a baby in a white shirt.”
Suddenly, the door to the party opened with a bang, letting cold wind blow in from outside. Beside her, Erica heard Jason draw in a breath and then mutter something. The party noise of chattering voices died down.
A woman stalked in, shaky on extremely high heels that she didn’t need—she had to be six feet tall in her socks. Carla hurried to close the door behind the new visitor.
The woman looked around, obviously searching for someone. When her eyes lit on Jason, she stopped still. “There you are,” she said in a husky voice. She slid off her fur coat and Erica couldn’t help but gasp. In the light, the woman was starkly gorgeous, with sharp cheekbones, enormous dark eyes and blond hair down to the middle of her back. The dress she wore was red lace and fitted her like she was a model.
Secret Christmas Twins Page 11
