The Soldier's Redemption

by Lee Tobin McClain

  As the meeting broke up, people crowded around him, asking questions and offering congratulations. He looked over and saw a similar group surrounding Kayla.

  Funny how conscious he was of her at every moment.

  “Well, you done it,” Long John said, clapping him on the shoulder. “I think you just got the open house a couple dozen more visitors. Folks are excited.”

  “That thermometer thing you put online is rising up fast,” Willie added, coming up behind Long John and reaching out to shake Finn’s hand. In his other hand, he held up his phone, displaying a donation meter already half-full. He squinted over at Long John, then looked back at Finn. “Say, we need to talk to you a minute. In private, like.”

  “Sure.” Finn glanced around, then ushered the two older men toward a quiet corner of the community center. “What’s up?”

  Long John and Willie glanced at each other. “We’ve got ourselves an awkward situation,” Long John said. “See, we were given a gift card for that new restaurant up Cold Creek Mountain.”

  “Cold Creek Inn?” Finn whistled. “Nice.”

  “My daughter wanted to treat us,” Willie explained. “Thinks I don’t get out enough or some fool thing.”

  Finn chuckled. “Why don’t you ask Dana Dylan to go with you?” He nodded at the white-haired dynamo who’d asked Willie out a number of times.

  Willie raised his hands and took a step backward. “No, no way. I don’t want to encourage her.”

  Finn lifted an eyebrow. “Because your heart’s somewhere else?”

  “His heart ought to go on out with Dana,” Long John grumbled.

  Finn shouldn’t have opened that door. The two men’s rivalry over Penny was mostly good-natured, but their friendship was too important to fool with them.

  Apparently Willie felt the same way, because he slapped Long John’s shoulder. “I’d rather have dinner with my buddy here than any woman. Don’t have to clean up my act for him.”

  “Then you two use the gift card,” Finn said. He was still confused about why they’d brought him into it.

  “But we don’t either of us like that kind of food,” Long John said. “Nor a place where you have to get all gussied up to go.”

  “And it expires tomorrow,” Willie said. “If my daughter finds out I didn’t use it, she’ll be upset.”

  “So we were thinking...”

  “Since you and Kayla are all dressed up,” Willie said, “I’d like for you to use it. Tonight.” He held out a gilt-edged plastic card with Cold Creek Inn embossed in fancy script.

  Mixed emotions roiled through Finn’s chest. The thought of taking Kayla on a date sounded way too good. Working together as they had been, he was drawn to her more and more. She was a good person—that was the main thing. She tried hard and did the right thing and took care of her son. She said she wasn’t a great Christian, that she had a lot to learn, but he’d watched her during church. She had a God-focused heart. The fact that she was gorgeous, at least to him, was just icing on the cake.

  But the feelings Finn was having for Kayla were the exact reason he shouldn’t be taking her on anything resembling a date. “I think you two should use it,” he repeated. “It was meant for you, Willie, not me.” And it would be better that way. Better than for him to start something with Kayla that he couldn’t finish.

  “I’m just not up to it today,” Long John said. He gestured down at his body with a disparaging movement of his arm. “My Parkinson’s is acting up. I need to get some rest.”

  “And I’m driving him back,” Willie said. “Truth is, I’m worn-out myself. I’d rather sit at home and watch reruns on the TV then go to some fancy place where I have to figure out what fork to use.”

  “Give it to somebody else, then,” Finn said. He was starting to panic at the idea of doing something so romantic with Kayla. No telling where that would lead, but it was a place he couldn’t go. “How about the Coopers. Isn’t it their anniversary?”

  “Nope,” Long John said flatly. “Willie and I, we talked it over. We’re giving it to you.”

  “Hey, Kayla,” Willie called across the emptying room. “Come here a minute.”

  “Willie!” Finn scolded in a whisper.

  But it was too late. She was already coming over, her high heels clicking, and again Finn was stunned at how gorgeous she was. “What’s up?” she asked.

  “Finn wants to ask you something,” Long John said. “Come on, Willie. I see that old Pete Ramsey. He’s always trying to borrow money. I need to get out of here.” And the two men turned and walked away.

  Although there were other people in the room—and in fact, Long John and Willie didn’t go far before finding a couple of chairs—Finn suddenly felt like he was alone with Kayla.

  If they went out to the restaurant, they would truly be alone. The thought created a tsunami of feeling inside him.

  He tried desperately to cling to the thought that she might not be trustworthy, that there was some kind of mystery in her past. But he’d just talked to Raakib yesterday, and so far, there was nothing criminal or even dishonest to report.

  “Finn?” Kayla was looking at him quizzically. “What’s going on?”

  She looked so pretty and sophisticated that he felt like a high school boy asking a girl to a dance. The ease he’d felt working with her was nowhere to be found. He held up the gift card. “Willie wants us to use this.”

  Behind her, Willie made a sweeping motion with his arm while shaking his head vigorously.

  And the older man had a point. What a half-baked way to ask a woman out. “What I mean to say is, would you like to go out to dinner with me? At the Cold Creek Inn?”

  Color rose in her face as she looked at him and bit her lip.

  Oh, man. He really wanted to go out with her.

  But did her hesitation mean she wanted to go, or that she didn’t? He needed to give her an out. “You must be worried about Leo. You probably can’t go.”

  “Actually,” she said, holding up her phone, “I just found out he wants to stay a little bit longer at his friend’s house. They’re roasting marshmallows.” She looked so pretty it made his heart hurt. “And his friend lives up Cold Creek Mountain.”

  “We do have something to celebrate,” Finn said, with a smile and a tone he’d kept in cold storage for years. He stepped fractionally closer without even meaning to. “Today went well, and there’s no one I’d like to spend the evening with more than you.”

  Her mouth opened halfway, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He felt tongue-tied, until he again noticed wild gesturing behind her. Long John, and now Willie, seemed to be conducting a pantomime coaching session; Willie was making a rolling motion with his hands, as if to say, talk to her more, convince her.

  So he started telling her about the restaurant, how fantastic it was reputed to be. “Apparently it looks out over the valley. They have all kinds of fancy game dishes, venison, and wild boar, and pheasant.” But was eating wild game really persuasive to a woman? “I think they’re known for their chocolate desserts, too,” he said, hoping he’d remembered correctly.

  “That sounds good.” She gave him a tentative smile.

  Finn noticed a couple of nearby people glancing their way. “Come over here,” he said and guided her a little bit away from the crowd. “If someone heard us talking about the Cold Creek Inn, there goes your reputation.”

  “Because of going somewhere with you? Really?”

  He thought. Not many people knew about what had happened in his past. And if they did know, would they see it as a reason for her to avoid him? He was starting to wonder. “It’s a small town,” he said, because he couldn’t explain.

  Although maybe, someday soon, he would. If anyone would look at his past mistakes with compassion, it was Kayla.

  She shrugged. “I don’t really care what anyone thi
nks. Do you?”

  He didn’t care about anything but her. “Nope,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.” He offered her his arm, and she took it, and he felt like the most fortunate man in the world.

  He glanced over his shoulder at Long John and Willie. They were both grinning and fist-bumping and thumbs-upping him. Because of course, they were trying to push him and Kayla together. Matchmaking. He should have realized it before.

  He just hoped the two older men knew what they were doing. Because Finn felt like he was diving into a sea of risks, and he couldn’t predict the outcome.

  * * *

  When they walked into the Cold Creek Inn, Kayla’s breath caught.

  The dining room was full of well-dressed people, mostly couples. Waitstaff in white jackets hovered and smiled and carried trays high on one hand—a feat she’d only ever seen in movies. The decor was that of a hunting lodge, with rough-hewn wooden rafters overhead, a pine plank floor and wall hangings depicting hunting scenes.

  But most impressive of all was the view. The whole front of the restaurant was glass, a floor-to-ceiling window, and it looked out over the valley. As the sun sank, pink and orange and gold filled the sky, and lights flickered on across the valley.

  Breathtaking.

  Kayla had read about places like this, had seen them on television, but she had never been. It was way out of her league, and a wave of anxiety washed over her. Would she know how to act, what silverware to use? Would she spill a glass of water or not know how to ask for the right food?

  She was holding Finn’s arm, his muscles strong beneath her fingers, and she must have tightened her grip because he looked down at her and patted her sleeve. “Pretty highfalutin for a couple of ranch hands,” he said. “But let’s just enjoy ourselves, okay?”

  As the maître d’ led them to a table by the window, she tried to walk with assurance. The man helped her into her seat while Finn took the chair across from hers and thanked him.

  Even if she could handle this place, even if she didn’t make a fool of herself, she still felt shaky about Finn. Had he really wanted to ask her out? Or was he just using up a gift card?

  Regardless, he looked confident and sophisticated in his suit, his shoulders straining a bit at the fabric, his boots making him even taller than usual. Finn dressed up was just plain devastating. And she needed to pull herself together. She focused on the fact that it was a side of him that she hadn’t seen before.

  “Wait a minute,” she said, pleased that she was able to sound light and casual. “I just realized I don’t know much about your background before the ranch.”

  Some of the carefree light went out of his face. Oh. She hadn’t meant to stir up the bad part of his past. “Did you live in LA or New York or something?” she added hastily. “Did you do client dinners at places like this?”

  He laughed. “Far from it,” he said. “My family’s from Virginia. After the service, I got into agricultural sales. Fertilizer, seeds, stuff like that.” He grinned. “At most, I’d take my clients to the town diner.”

  “But you seem so comfortable here.”

  He nodded. “My mom saw to it that we all knew not to slurp our soup or reach all the way across the table. Maybe once or twice a year, she’d grill us on our manners and then get Dad to take us to a fancy restaurant as a kind of test.”

  “That’s so nice.”

  “I was fortunate,” he said. “I had a great childhood.”

  She sensed he was about to ask her about her childhood, and that, she didn’t want to talk about. “What does your dad do?” she asked, to forestall him.

  “Small-town cop,” he said. “Everybody loves him. One of my brothers is a cop in the same department, and the other’s a firefighter.”

  “Back in Virginia.”

  He nodded.

  “Then...why do you live all the way out here?”

  He looked out over the valley, now shadowed, with stars starting to appear above. “I’d been out here a few times for work,” he said. “Liked the wide-open spaces. And when... Well, I needed a fresh start. Felt like I couldn’t breathe, back East.”

  “I know what you mean,” she said.

  He looked at her sharply, but seemed to discern that she didn’t want to talk about the negatives in her past. So he made her laugh mispronouncing various dishes, and joking about the particularly large trophy moose head that loomed on the wall behind her.

  He was trying to make her feel comfortable, and she liked him even better for it.

  Through the appetizers he ordered for them, the pheasant dish he recommended, the too-frequent refills of their water glasses by their overzealous waiter, he kept the conversation going. And Kayla was both pleased and dismayed to realize that she liked this side of Finn, too. She hadn’t known he had a background that would lend itself to a place this classy, but it was nice to relax, knowing that he could handle everything.

  “Dessert?” the waiter asked.

  “Oh, I couldn’t,” Kayla said. She was full, and besides, they’d surely used up the gift card now. The prices on the menu had been scandalously high.

  Finn looked at her with an assessing gaze. “Maybe we could take a look at the dessert tray.”

  “Of course, sir.” And the waiter hurried away.

  “Finn!” She laughed at him. “How are we going to eat dessert?”

  A moment later, their waiter returned with a mouthwatering tray of cheesecakes, pastries, cakes and pies.

  “That’s how,” Finn said.

  She studied the treats. She’d never before experienced food that literally made her mouth water.

  “Change your mind about being too full for dessert?” Finn asked, his voice teasing.

  She smiled across the table at him. “Oh, yeah,” she said. “I want that one.” She pointed at a slice of chocolate cake that was layered with a raspberry filling, with extra chocolate sauce and whipped cream over the top of it.

  “Good choice,” Finn said. “I’ll take the apple pie à la mode.”

  Of course they had to share their desserts. And of course their hands brushed as they did. Their tones grew lower as the sky outside turned black and candles were lit at each table. They seemed to be embedded in their own little world, a world of smiling and soft laughter and expressive glances miles away from their daily lives at the kennel and the ranch.

  When she put down her fork, too full to eat anymore, Finn reached across the table and took her hand. “Kayla, I...” He trailed off.

  “What?” One syllable was all she could get out. Even that was an effort, considering that she couldn’t breathe.

  He kept hold of her hand. “I don’t know what’s happening between us, but how would you feel about pursuing it?”

  She looked at him and tried to remember all the reasons why she didn’t want to. Tried to pull them back together into a coherent, reasoned set of ideas. But her doubts had scattered with the same wind that was making the moonlit pine branches below wave gently in the twilight.

  It didn’t seem like he would do anything to hurt her and Leo. It didn’t seem like he would prioritize his military brothers over her. Could she trust him with her story? Was she strong enough to take care of herself and her child if things went south with Finn?

  Most of all, could he really want to be with her?

  Normally, in the past, she wouldn’t have been able to believe it. The years of being unwanted were deeply embedded, so much that they seemed to always be a part of her.

  But through her work at the ranch and the spiritual development she was gaining here, she was starting to have a different feeling about herself. A feeling that maybe, possibly, things might go well for her. People might want to be her friend. She might have found a place to belong.

  Maybe Finn was a part of all that.

  She looked at him and opened her mouth t
o try to put some of what she was feeling into words. But her phone buzzed with a text, and the waiter brought the check, and the moment was over.

  Maybe it was just as well, but she couldn’t help regretting it as she reluctantly pulled out her phone and studied the lock screen. “The marshmallow roast is over,” she said to Finn. “Leo’s ready to go home.”

  “Of course.” He signed the check and stood. Came around the table to pull out her chair for her. “Let’s go get him. It’s late.”

  It was late. But Kayla’s heart was full of promise as they left the restaurant, Finn’s hand barely resting on her lower back.

  He was a good person, a person she could trust. A person who understood about Leo’s needs, and maybe about hers, as well.

  Maybe even a person she could build a future with.

  * * *

  After they’d picked up a very sleepy Leo and put him in the booster seat they’d transferred from Kayla’s car earlier, Finn drove carefully down the winding mountain road.

  A strange warmth surrounded his heart. He’d felt something a little similar with his wife, but way different in degree, like the difference between a candle and a roaring fire.

  What he felt for Kayla was explosive, powerful, hot. He didn’t want to go back to the friendly coworkers they’d been. He didn’t want this night to end.

  He heard Kayla murmuring over her shoulder, and Leo said something almost indistinguishable, and then Kayla spoke back.

  “Music okay?” he asked, and when she nodded, he turned on the radio and found some quiet jazz.

  It was always good to keep a kid calm right before bed. He remembered having arguments with Deirdre about that, when Derek was just Leo’s age. Finn had liked to come home and play with Derek, but the excitement had meant the boy didn’t want to go to sleep anytime soon. It had annoyed Deirdre, and now, from a more mature perspective, he could see why.

  He’d been young, inconsiderate, all about his own desire to have fun with his son on his own terms.

  If he had it to do over again...

  He glanced over at Kayla. Might he have the chance to do it all over again?

  He didn’t want to be disloyal to Derek and Deirdre by having a good life when they’d been denied the chance. But his conversations with Pastor Carson over the past weeks had him thinking that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to pay the price of his sin forever. Maybe the accident hadn’t been entirely his fault. Maybe not even very much his fault, and though he’d always blame himself, at least to some degree, light and hope were slowly seeping back into his life. He was starting to live again. And Kayla was the reason why.