Holly and Hopeful Hearts

by Caroline Warfield

  A throat cleared. Their butler stood in the doorway. “The Duke of Barnet is here.”

  His mother smiled widely. “At least you have made one friend.”

  Jasper nodded to her and followed the butler to the door. Barnet was a friend, yes, because they commiserated about gossips and having their hand forced.

  The two played cards and drank and talked, and all the while, Barnet did not know what grieved Jasper so, but nor did he press for details. If Jasper could not confess to a friend, how could he ever tell Anna? And if he didn’t tell Anna, how could he dare think of her as more than a friend?

  Was he ready to try again? To reach out? To perhaps find love? He thought he had already found it…

  “I know that look.” Barnet laughed and tapped his glass to Jasper’s. “What lady has captured your attention so raptly?”

  Jasper was so flustered he answered honestly. “Lady Anna.”

  “Ah, yes. I should have guessed. She is a lovely lady, isn’t she?”

  “Yes,” he murmured, and he drained the last of his drink.

  “Speaking of gossips, they would have it that she had a tendre for me, but have no fear. My engagement has put that on hold, I am sure.” He grimaced.

  Jasper startled. Anna and Barnet? Did the duke care for Anna? Did she still care for him? Is she merely using me as a means to get over him?

  “When are you two to marry? I had thought you would have by now.”

  The duke’s grimace twisted fiercer. “As soon as Florentina feels up to it. I’m afraid that… her condition… is not an agreeable one.”

  “Perhaps by the New Year you will be a married man.”

  Barnet shuddered, and Jasper wasn’t sure he cared for the idea of marriage much himself.

  Chapter 14

  Hollystone Hall, Buckinghamshire

  23rd December, 1812

  The hunt was a splendid affair, from what Anna heard. She never watched one; she could never see the appeal. How Emily had convinced her to come and spend time here, Anna could not be certain, but she found herself looking everywhere for a certain someone.

  “Looking for the Duke of Barnet?” a light-tenored voice asked from behind her in the hallway.

  She whirled around, her heart beating fast and strong. “No, actually.”

  Weasel Winderfield nodded with a smirk. He was prone to gossip, and Anna felt her cheeks flushing. She had encountered him in London at various functions, and she did not like the man and did her best to avoid him.

  “If you must know,” she said, slipping back a step, “I was looking for someone else entirely.”

  “Has someone else finally caught your eye?”

  She bristled. The last thing she needed was for rumors to fly about concerning her. Many spoke about the duke as it was, and she would hate for Florentina, whom she did not know all that well, to become the source of gossip as well. If word were to leak out about her condition…

  “I find it rather peculiar there was talk of Barnet having a quick marriage to his lady, but that hasn’t happened yet, not to my knowledge.” Weasel puffed out his chest, and immediately the image of a peacock flashed in Anna’s mind. “Is the duke having second thoughts? Is he finally willing to glance in your direction long enough to wish for more than merely two dances with you?”

  Anna managed to smile. “You would have to ask the duke that himself, but I can assure you of this—I will not deign to be second in the eyes of the one I…” She broke off.

  “In the eyes of the one you… love?” Weasel grinned broadly. “And who is it you love?”

  “I must confess… he is not you. If you will excuse me.” Heart hammering, Anna all but dashed away. She ignored the onlookers and the questioning glances from other partygoers and hurried to her guest quarters.

  Standing by her door was the one she had sought all along.

  Anna smiled widely at him, her heart beating fiercely, and she suspected that was not solely due to her rushed flight to her door. “Lord Pershore. May I have a word with you?”

  “A word. No. You may have three.”

  Her cheeks warmed. Weasel had the right of it—she had been about to say love, but surely that had only been a slip of the tongue. She didn’t know Lord Pershore well enough to love him.

  Yet.

  She glanced up and down the hallway. It was empty, and she grabbed his arm and yanked him inside an empty small sitting room and shut the door.

  “Lady Anna, what are you doing?”

  “I wish to talk to you about a personal matter, and there are more gossips here than there are… Did you hear that?”

  “Hear what?”

  “I thought I heard… a meow.” Anna walked around the sofa and kneeled down. Sure enough, she held up a small kitten. “Oh, isn’t she just darling?”

  Lord Pershore was staring at her. “Yes,” he murmured.

  Anna snuggled the kitten to her and tried to keep her wits about her. What she would have to say to Lord Pershore would not be easy, but said it must be.

  She might risk losing him, but it would be better, far better, for him to learn the truth now than to hope he would never learn it.

  * * *

  * * *

  Anna was petting the kitten, whispering to it, and the kitten was purring. Jasper imagined her running her hands over him, gently, just like she was the kitten, and he almost wanted to purr himself.

  He shook his thoughts away. “Will you be keeping her?”

  “Keeping?” She blinked her large beautiful dark eyes at him.

  “Yes. I’ve seen a few of the other guests here adopt kittens. She does seem fond of you.” In truth, he was also growing fond of her. He wasn’t certain when he had started to change his opinion of her. Perhaps when she had read the story, or even before, when she had scolded him for being so crass. She had fire and yet compassion, a mix that was both warming and gentle.

  Anna would never wrong him, or so he hoped.

  “She is a dear little thing. A tiny butterball.” She giggled.

  “May I?” He crossed the room in three long strides and accepted the kitten from her. The little furball ran up his arm and promptly sat on his head before leaping back toward Anna, who caught him.

  “Oh, she has no love for you.” Anna giggled some more, but then something flickered in her eyes, and she even stopped petting the kitten. “Jasper, there’s something I want to tell you.” She took a deep breath.

  He almost started to smile that she had used his given name, but a knot formed in his stomach. Her tone was far too serious, her expression too bleak. Whatever she had to say, she didn’t think he would want to hear it. And while he could easily interrupt her and revert the focus back to the kitten, he didn’t. Better to hear whatever may be the bad news and go from there, before he got too ensnared by her looks and intelligence and kindness.

  “You can tell me anything.”

  She winced and sat on the edge of the sofa. The kitten toyed with a piece of lace on her dress. “You won’t tell me what happened to you. Your mother mentioned you were in a bad place, and I would… I’m sorry. That’s not…” Anna swallowed hard.

  He kneeled in front of her and clasped her hands. “Tell me what it is.”

  She was trembling, the poor thing. “I know how you feel about gossips and… You know of Aunt Augusta?”

  Jasper pulled back, allowing his hands to fall by his side and thereby releasing his hold on hers. “You are she?”

  “No. My mother is.”

  “Your mother…”

  “Please.” Anna jumped to her feet. “No one else knows. No one else can know, or else my mother’s position with The Teatime Tattler might be in jeopardy. I am entrusting you with this secret—”

  “Is this why you wished to…” Befriend wasn’t the word, but heaven knew if he could conjure up the right one. He was too upset to think clearly at the present moment. “You want to know my… issue… so that your mother could write about it—”

  “D
on’t be a fool,” she snapped.

  The kitten hissed, hackles raised, but they both ignored the furball.

  Her features softened, and she wrung her hands, a look of horror crossing her dainty features. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “Forgive me. No. No, of course not! I told you so that you might trust me enough to tell me your story. And the reason why I want to know your story is because I want to understand the man standing before me. Because the parts of you that you have shown to me, I find intriguing and charming—”

  “Me, charming?” He found himself compelled to believe her, despite everything. “Compared to the flirtations of Barnet with whom people continue to link your name?”

  “Charming, yes, in a fashion. You told me you wanted to steal a kiss from me. What if, instead of being a thief or a villain, you could be a hero instead and receive a kiss freely given?”

  He stared down at her, at the fire burning in her eyes, at the slender curve of her neck, at the perfect shape of her lips…

  His hand shook as he raised it. His finger traced along her parted lips. He wanted to kiss her, he did, but he held back.

  “I shouldn’t be here. If someone were to come in…”

  At that precise moment, there was a knock at the door.

  Anna’s dark eyes widened. “Don’t say anything,” she whispered, clinging to his arm. “Perhaps they will leave and—”

  “Anna, open up.”

  The voice sounded familiar, Lady Emily, if he had to hazard a guess.

  “Hide behind the sofa,” Anna hissed, shoving him away.

  Grumbling under his breath, he did just that and bumped his head hard for his efforts.

  Anna walked over, sat on the sofa, and kicked her foot toward him. “Come in,” she called.

  From his vantage point, Jasper couldn’t see much, but he could hear, and the ladies talked about Cedrica—a distant cousin of the Duchess of Haverford, whose house they were all staying in—and how they were making plans to help the poor girl choose a costume for the coming costume party that would attract the man she admired.

  And then they talked of Lady Emily and Lord Tipton, and how the gentleman still did not seem to understand just how much Emily wished for his attention and affection. Perhaps he should have a talk with Tipton himself, although involving himself in the love life of others when his own was such a complicated affair did not seem the wisest of courses. Hopefully, Tipton would realize what he was missing, or else the lady would find another gentleman who would make her smile and laugh and feel treasured.

  As they talked, his mind wandered. Yes, he greatly appreciated that Anna had confided in him her mother’s secret. It was becoming quite clear that she cared for him. He had thought the same of…

  But, no. They were not of the same breed. Anna would not do anything to wrong him.

  If only he could bring himself to tell her about his past, then he would know for certain if he had moved on from his past wrongs and if she might be the one to make the last of his hurt disappear.

  This Christmas might just be what I need.

  The thought of how smug his mother would be if he did find love with Anna Wycliff after all made him chuckle.

  “What was that?” Lady Emily asked.

  “A rat,” Anna said easily.

  Jasper snorted at that.

  “A rat?” Lady Emily shrieked.

  “No, no. A cat.”

  As if called for, the kitten walked past Jasper, her tiny tail tickling his nose before she darted forward and played with Anna’s skirt.

  The ladies exclaimed over the kitten, and finally, after Lady Emily could not convince Anna to come to the hunt ball, Lady Emily left.

  Jasper groaned as he rose from behind the sofa. “I thought you two would never stop talking.”

  With a brilliant smile, Anna laughed. “You know us ladies. We do love to talk.”

  “Yes,” he murmured. “So I’m a rat, am I?”

  “You haven’t proved yourself a hero yet.”

  “Because I haven’t kissed you?”

  “Exactly so.” She crossed her arms.

  “Are not heroes supposed to put their lady’s virtue above all else?” he countered.

  Anna frowned. “Do you not wish to kiss me?”

  He headed for the door. “Seek me out beneath the mistletoe and see.”

  And he left her there, chuckling as he could have sworn she called him a rat once more.

  Chapter 15

  24th December, 1812

  Benjamin stared at the letter but could not bring himself to reread it. Florentina had insisted that he come to the house party alone. She was sick more often than not, and even though he tried to help her as best he could, she did not appreciate his presence.

  Not at all.

  He crumbled the letter and threw it into the fire. It was very early in the morning, far earlier than he normally woke, but Daniel Stanley, the butler, had given him the letter as soon as it arrived.

  Is it too early for brandy?

  Although the repugnant toad who had impregnated her had run off with another woman, the toad had come crawling back and Florentina had upped and left him, he who had tried to help her save face. It seemed the toad’s other woman had stolen money from him. Serves him right. I never did like William Walters. As for Florentina… if toads are her choice, well, I can’t stop her, but if she starts to grow warts on her lovely face, I will not feel sorry for her.

  Had she ever been sick at all with her pregnancy, or had her symptoms been a ruse all along? Perhaps she had lied about being pregnant in the first place!

  Lies and gossip. Benjamin knew he was the source of many a story, and that he didn’t mind. He enjoyed flirtations, but the idea of marriage held so little appeal to him. Yet when he had offered to save Florentina, he had gradually become accustomed to the idea. So much so that he was the one who kept asking her when she would be ready to walk down the aisle.

  Now she had ruined their engagement, Benjamin felt as if she had robbed him of something dear, something he hadn’t even known he wanted.

  Perhaps it was for the best she had left him. If it had been a boy, his estate would’ve gone to another man’s child, something he hadn’t considered until this very moment. Dimly, he recalled his mother saying something to that effect, but he was often impulsive and did as he wished.

  The study was empty at this early hour, the sun not even awake yet. Only a single candle gave the room any light. When he spied the quill, he was seized by an idea, and he found a clean piece of paper and wrote down the names of the eligible ladies who had caught his eyes over the years. Again and again his eye returned to the first name he had written—Lady Anna Wycliff.

  * * *

  Benjamin glanced around, noting where small boughs of mistletoe were hung, and the few ladies bold enough to be standing near them, hoping to ensnare a kiss. Raising his glass, he caught the gaze of one such lady, and she giggled, folded her fan, and placed it against her chin. Lady Pamela, he believed her name to be. He had danced with her on occasions. She enjoyed her sweets and was sweet enough, when she ceased with her flirtations and truly spoke about matters dear to her.

  He bided his time, and it wasn’t until after Lady Anna returned from helping Cedrica make up a costume that Benjamin found her, hovering near a hanging mistletoe. Perfect.

  He swooped toward her. In a lovely green gown, she had never looked more beautiful. Her cheeks were a rose color, and she reminded him of a precious flower.

  “Lady Anna,” he said as he approached her.

  She turned and granted him a smile. “How are you? Are you coming with us to the local orphanage?”

  “If you wish me to. I would do just about anything for you.” Benjamin moved to stand beneath the mistletoe.

  Was it his imagination, or was she trying to take a step back?

  He grinned broadly. “You look a little chilled, my dear. Why don’t you give me your arm? We can take a stroll, and…”

  She gl
anced above and shook her head. “Are you trying to catch me beneath the mistletoe?”

  “Would you blame me if I am?”

  “But what of your—”

  He shook his head. “There is no reason for me to not kiss you.”

  “What of Florentina?”

  “I would rather not speak about her.” He scowled, took a deep breath, and forced himself to relax. “If you will not grant me a kiss, will you at least bestow on me the honor of the first dance at the costume party?”

  “Ah, well…” She seemed unsettled.

  A sinking pit formed in Benjamin’s stomach. “You and I always have a wonderful time together. You are a splendid dancer and—”

  “I know you only became engaged to Florentina because of her… but are you not—”

  “I would rather not speak about her,” he said stiffly, adjusting his coat. “She is nothing to me, although I must confess that I am grateful to her, in a way, for accepting me. I am even more grateful to her for leaving me. She made me realize I have a hole in my life. I’ve never thought much about settling down, but I do think I am ready to now, and I will be honest…” He took a step toward Anna, who did not back away. “You are the first lady I thought of. Lady Anna, we have known each other for some time now, and I know you care for me. A part of me has always cared for you in return, and I know these feelings can grow and turn into love if you would only consider me.”

  And he narrowed the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers.

  * * *

  Anna didn’t know what to think. For so long, she had wanted Benjamin to look at her as he was staring at her right now, had wanted to hear what he was saying, had wanted him to kiss her.

  But now that he was kissing her, she wanted to kiss someone else.

  She put a hand to his chest and shifted back. “I am sorry, Benjamin, that things did not work out for you and Florentina—”