Swept Away for Christmas

by M. J. Fredrick

  Finn McBride, on the other hand…

  Although, to be fair, most of her tossing and turning had been due to sexual frustration. Around four in the morning, she’d decided Charli was right—Shelby needed some release. If Finn hadn’t been temporarily sharing a room with Bruce, she might have shown up at his door.

  Miranda, Amy, Shelby and Charli were all having their hair styled in similar up-dos, although Miranda would have white flowers woven into hers in lieu of a veil. Afterward, the women had a very light lunch, and Amy practiced the song she’d be performing acapella during the ceremony. Suddenly, it was time.

  They were piling into the car that would take them to the beach where the guys should be waiting. Shelby’s eyes burned with happy tears as she marveled at the fact that her first friend in Starfish Shores, the funny redhead who’d taught her how to curl her eyelashes and used to write short stories that prominently featured Justin Timberlake, was about to become a married woman.

  The beach parking lot was surrounded by shaded areas, covered picnic shelters and lattice-work roofs that cast strange plaid shadows on the sand. Today, the wedding company had decorated many of these with bows and flowers. The women all kicked off their shoes and hiked up their skirts to avoid dragging on the beach. Up ahead, friends and family were clustered by the water’s edge. Amy’s parents had arrived from Detroit, Miranda’s aunt was filming the whole thing for the grandmother in the nursing home who couldn’t be present. There were a couple dozen people gathered to celebrate the big day, but Shelby only saw one of them.

  Beneath the bridal awning, Finn stood barefoot and smiling. His dark hair was a dramatic contrast to the white shirt he wore partially unbuttoned, and try as she might to concentrate on the wedding, she found the glimpses of his chest distracting. Tonight, there would be no Bruce in his room. What would he do if she showed up at four in the morning?

  Miranda and Bruce had written their own vows, and Bruce’s penetrated the haze of Shelby’s wayward thoughts.

  “I’ve loved you since the day I met you,” he told his bride. “But it wasn’t our time yet. I waited and kept loving you and waited. And, Miranda Donavan, you were completely worth the wait. I get to have forever with you, and I’m the luckiest man alive.”

  Forever. It was a beautiful, daunting word. But the phrase that really struck her was the part about it not having been their time yet. The last few days had shown her that, in many ways, she and Finn were as compatible as ever. She respected his mind and his drive and his sense of humor. Lord knew their physical attraction was combustible. Yet their relationship had crashed and burned.

  Maybe, she thought sadly, it just hadn’t been their time.

  ***

  The wedding reception was at a nearby hotel ballroom. Miranda and Bruce wanted to share their first dance and wedding cake with family friends. Afterward, they would leave for the airport and anyone who was interested was invited to enjoy dinner in the private party room reserved at The Half Shell seafood restaurant.

  Before it was time to cut the cake, Finn, as the best man, gave a toast. Shelby had a difficult time listening to it. What did he know about lasting commitment? As far as she knew, the only commitment he’d ever successfully made was to a restaurant. Which was a damn shame—not for her, personally, but for women in general. Finn had a lot of great qualities, and if he ever stopped running from his past, from his insecurities, and allowed himself to be happy and enjoy the moment, he might have made some wife a fantastic husband.

  But that wasn’t what he wanted for himself.

  Shelby kept her toast short, since she was having trouble speaking past the lump in her throat. Most people assumed she was choked up over the sentiment of the day, but apparently she wasn’t fooling Bruce.

  When he pulled her into a quick hug, he murmured, “Is it McBride?”

  “Yes. No.” It was all of it, the realization that some of her favorite people were planning lives together and she was alone. It was the growing panic that she’d never wholly gotten over her feelings for Finn but had only been suppressing them. It was the knowledge that if she’d met him today, with no prior knowledge, she’d probably fall in love with all over again. She was exhausted and emotionally raw, and, across the room, Finn looked like the best thing she’d ever seen. It was a McNightmare.

  Bruce sighed. “I knew when Miranda sent him the invitation that he wouldn’t bring a date to the wedding. He goes through women too fast to develop any real attachments.”

  “So he’s just out for a good time?” Shelby asked sourly.

  “No. My opinion? He’s been looking for a way to replace what he lost. But he can’t. Because you’re irreplaceable.”

  Her breath caught. Was Bruce right, or was his happy newlywed imagination getting the best of him? Could Finn still be carrying a torch for her?

  “What about you?” Bruce prodded. “Ever meet someone who made you feel like he did?’

  That all-encompassing, bone-deep joy and sense of rightness? No, she’d never been able to duplicate it. Then again, none of the guys she’d dated in Huntsville made her feel like her heart had been put through a Cuisinart, either.

  Finn was not a good bet for the long-term. But at least she knew that now. At twenty-one, she’d been harshly disillusioned. If she acted on the blatant attraction between them before leaving Starfish Shores, as long as she went into it with her eyes open, wasn’t she safe from further heartbreak?

  Before she knew it, the time had come to cut the cake, then Miranda was throwing her bouquet in preparation to leave. When Shelby caught the arrangement of flowers, she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But she knew she didn’t want to join everyone else at The Half Shell, reminiscing about what a lovely ceremony it had been and speculating on whether Charli and Nate would be next.

  As they waved their farewells to the bride and groom, Finn approached her quietly. “Want to get out of here?”

  Shelby’s heart thudded against her ribcage. “What did you have in mind?”

  His ice blue eyes pierced her with naked longing. “Do you really have to ask?”

  She swallowed hard. “What are we waiting for?”

  ***

  A little surprised that she’d said yes, Finn got Shelby back to the hotel as fast as humanly possible—before she had a chance to change her mind.

  Last night, he’d lost eighty dollars during poker because all he’d been able to think about was her. When she’d walked “down the aisle” today at the ceremony, he’d found himself wondering what kind of wedding she’d eventually have. Would she be resplendent in white, a lacy veil over her face? Would she stand at the front of a church? Since her parents no longer lived in Starfish Shores, he imagined she’d get married in Huntsville. She had a life there he’d never know. Friends, colleagues, a class of fourth-graders who probably adored her.

  He’d given up his right to be part of that, but if Fate gave him this one night with her, he’d be damn grateful.

  Hitting the UP button for the elevators he asked, “Your room or mine?”

  Her cheeks reddened. “Yours is one floor closer.”

  Sounded like solid reasoning to him.

  He had his key card out of his pocket before the elevator doors even parted, not wanting to waste time fumbling in the hall when he could have Shelby inside his hotel room. In his bed.

  “Did I mention,” he said as they hurried down the corridor, “how beautiful you look today? It was unfair to the bride, really.”

  She laughed, but it had a strained quality to it, as if she were as tense with need as he was. “Thank you.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “You looked beautiful, too.”

  It wasn’t a masculine word, and if anyone else had said it, he would have argued. But Shelby could call him whatever the hell she wanted.

  He ushered her into his room, his voice tight. “A better man would probably offer you a drink, try to make you comfortable.”

  She wound her way through the suite—every step
she inched closer to the bedroom made him harder. “You’re not interested in making me comfortable?”

  “I’m interested in making you naked.”

  He caught up with her in two strides, scooping her into his arms. Then they were sprawled on his mattress, his lips locked to hers, his hands framing her face. Why had he planned to return to Mobile in the morning? He wanted to stay in this bed with her for days. Weeks. Lifetimes.

  In the past, Shelby had required a little seduction. She’d never made any secret of wanting him, but she’d had a lot of natural shyness. So he was taken aback when she rolled him over, pinning him beneath her. She reached for a zipper on the back of her dress, and suddenly the material was down around her knees as she straddled him. Her pale pink cotton panties and corset-style strapless bra were the sexiest lingerie he’d ever seen. While she fiddled with the back closures on the bra, he removed the tuxedo shirt he’d worn, then reached for the waistband of his pants. But he got distracted by the awe-inspiring sight of her bare breasts.

  He’d once scandalized her on a crowded beach by flipping over a plain white shell and showing her the deep, rosy pink on the inside, then murmuring in her ear, “The exact color of your nipples.”

  He reached for her breasts now, cupping them in reverent hands, running his thumbs over the tips. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but he’d already said that and it seemed mundane. He didn’t know the right words for what she was or how she made him feel. Perhaps he could show her.

  Half-sitting and simultaneously pulling her closer, he captured one peak in his mouth. She made a sexy whimpering sound that shot straight to his groin. Every time he drew on her, she moved her hips, rocking across his erection. The friction was deliciously maddening, but it wasn’t enough.

  Reaching between their bodies, he slid a finger beneath her panties, gratified to find her wet and ready. There. That was where he needed to be—sheathed deeply inside her damp heat.

  Reality broke through his growing frenzy long enough for him to realize the condoms were in a travel bag in the bathroom. He didn’t want to leave her that long. “Please tell me you’re on the Pill,” he said raggedly.

  It was as if he’d struck her. She recoiled, her face suddenly pale.

  Considering their argument the night of their breakup, how he’d challenged her ability to follow the simple instructions on her birth control pills, it had been a stupid-ass thing to mention. “Forget I asked. I can use a condom. I—”

  “This was a mistake.” She was scrambling for her discarded dress, and every cell in his body raged in protest.

  “Don’t go.” He reached for her arm, but she winced at his touch. “You were right there with me a second ago.”

  She swatted him away. “I was fooling myself a second ago. I thought I could have casual sex with you, but you’re Finn McBride. Nothing I’ve ever felt for you has been casual. I loved you so hard it nearly split me in half before, so why risk that again? In the morning, you’re going home to Mobile, and I’d be left picking up the pieces.”

  “But…” He didn’t have enough functioning brain cells to rebut her argument. He was headed back to Mobile, and he had hurt her last time around. He could apologize from now until the Rapture, but that wouldn’t change the truth.

  “It wasn’t my intention to lead you on,” she said as she wriggled into her dress. “But I can’t stay here. I don’t want this.” The words broke on a sob as she fled the room.

  It wasn’t until the door slammed behind her that he questioned what “this” entailed. I don’t want this. She’d meant sex, but that wasn’t all Finn wanted.

  He wanted Shelby, wanted her in his life. Because he was beginning to think he wouldn’t ever get her out of his heart.

  Chapter Nine

  “Ready to check out, sir?” If the brunette behind the counter was even a tiny bit resentful about having to work on Christmas Eve, it didn’t show in her wide smile.

  “Um, about that…” Finn took a step forward, disbelieving what he was about to stay. All his life, he’d wanted to get out of Starfish Shores. Now, inexplicably, he was delaying his departure. For Shelby.

  After she’d left, he’d gone for a run, trying to ease some of the physical tension that had been building since she first kissed him in her hotel room. But it hadn’t done a damn thing to lessen how much he wanted her. Last night, he’d lain awake, thinking about whether or not to go after her. He wanted to, but he’d need a good argument. She’d left his bed with valid reasons. What could he say to change her mind?

  And the more he thought about her misgivings, the clearer everything became. For starters, he couldn’t leave yet. The last time he’d been lucky enough to have Shelby’s love, he’d pushed her away. Not this time. He wasn’t sure he could ever win her over again, but he knew she was worth the effort.

  Once he’d explained at the reservations desk that he wanted to stay for a few more days—the exact number to be determined—he returned to his room and dialed Jake Donavan.

  “It’s Finn,” he said by way of greeting. “I realize this is a weird question, but do you know where your brother Steve will be today?” If he was leaving town to see his wife’s relatives, Finn had just wasted a phone call.

  “Sure, we’re all going to Gran’s senior center to show her the video of the wedding and wish her a Merry Christmas.”

  Finn took a deep breath. “I don’t know your brother very well. Do you think there’s any way you could convince him to let me babysit for an hour or so? Maybe he and his wife have some last minute Christmas shopping to do? Or just want to grab a coffee together? You can tell him I’m a completely reliable friend of the family.”

  “I guess.” Jake didn’t even bother asking why. “If I do, will you put in a good word for me with Shelby?”

  “Donavan, don’t make me kill you. You’d be surprised what chefs know about poison.”

  Jake laughed. “I didn’t think so. But it was worth a try. She’s one of a kind.”

  “You don’t know how right you are.” Finn had been to five different continents and met women from hundreds of different backgrounds. But there was only one Shelby James, and he never should have let her go in the first place.

  ***

  Moping in a hotel room was not the merriest of Christmas Eves, but Shelby didn’t have many options for company. The Donavans were at the nursing home, and Charli and Nate had left for Atlanta after lunch. Amy and her parents had caught a flight back to Detroit that morning. Miranda and Bruce were gone. Although she hadn’t said goodbye to him, she assumed Finn had joined the mass exodus. Checkout was at eleven a.m. and it was nearly dinner time now.

  Shelby had thumbed through several pages of a book on her e-reader but couldn’t focus. She’d ended up laying in her hotel bed, watching that movie where the kid gets his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. Tomorrow, she’d be welcomed into the Donavan home; for tonight, at least she had bunches of leftovers Mrs. Donavan had packed her after the barbecue. And the Grinch was coming on in—

  She sat bolt upright in bed. Was that a knock at the door, or was she imagining things? She reached for the remote and hit the mute button, listening intently. Definitely a knock. Maybe it was housekeeping. Had she forgotten to put out the Do Not Disturb sign? Because, frankly, she was disturbed enough already. She’d been alternately kicking herself all day for, one, getting into bed with Finn McBride and two, once she had climbed into bed with him, leaving it unfulfilled. Could she have botched that encounter any worse?

  “Coming,” she called. Maybe the housekeeper would like to watch the Grinch with her.

  But when she swung the door open, there he stood. “Finn?” Why wasn’t he in Mobile?

  He grinned. “You would not believe where I’ve been."

  “I can’t believe where you are now. Why are you here?” She experienced a twinge of cautious hope. Heartwarming final scenes from holiday movies floated through her head—timely proclamations of love as a gentle snow began to fall
, accompanied by a choir of cherubic voices…

  “Shelby, I don’t know what I want!” He beamed at her, as expectant as a German Shepherd who’d mastered rolling over on command and wanted a congratulatory biscuit.

  Huh. As far as declarations went, she’d been hoping more for “I want you, I need you” and less ambivalence.

  “Can I come in?” he asked, as if only just noticing she hadn’t invited him.

  “I’m not sure that’s—”

  “Please, Seashell. Hear me out.”

  “Don’t call me that,” she grumbled. But she stepped aside so that he could come into the suite.

  Once there, he began pacing excitedly. “I didn’t go home.”

  She folded her arms across her chest. “I can see that.”

  “And you’re the reason why,” he added.

  Her heart began to thaw a little. “I’m listening.”

  He glanced around as if he were too cooped up in the confined space of the room, then headed for the balcony door. He opened it, letting in fresh air. “I could have left Starfish Shores, gone back to a restaurant I’m very proud of, carried on with my life. But it’s not enough. Not without you to share it. I asked Steve Donavan to let me keep an eye on his kid for an hour while he ran out to get some things and his wife took a nap. It wasn’t awful.”

  How had they gone from his feelings for her to non-awful babysitting?

  “I don’t know if I want kids,” he added. “Before I was dead certain I didn’t, but now I’m waffling. Maybe I’ll eventually want a mortgage and responsibilities to other people. All of those things are possible in the abstract future. As for the present? I know exactly what I want.” He stopped in front of her, cupping her face. “If she’ll have me.”

  Time stopped when his lips touched hers. For the first half of her life, she’d moved all over the country, hoping desperately for a home. Now she knew—home was here in Finn’s arms.