Because of You

by Maria E. Monteiro

  “No. Just trying to enjoy our last day here.”

  “Is everyone gone?” Our boss Billy asks, walking out from the back. “Yeah. I was just about to get you,” Logan says starting to close out the register.

  A knock on the door startles all of us. I look over and see Farrah standing at the glass window. “It’s Farrah. Can I let her in?” I ask Billy. “She’s here to help me get ready for the party.”

  “Yeah, sure. But make it quick, I wanna go home.”

  “No problem.” I rush to the door and let her in. She looks so good with her pink summer short dress on. Her make-up is so natural you can’t tell she has any on, and her hair is up in the perfect ponytail. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you. I hope Josh likes it too.”

  “I’m sure he will,” Logan says, actually checking her out.

  “Thank you. I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  “Don’t get used of it,” he grumbles before returning to talk to Billy.

  Come on lets go.” She grabs my hand and drags me to the bathroom. “Okay, so I brought you this. It’s going to look so good on you.” She holds up a tiny cream colored crocheted dress. I doubt it’s even going to cover my thighs.

  I slip into it and realize I’m right. “This is too short.”

  “Are you kidding? It’s perfect. Here.” She hands me a pair of beige strappy wedge sandals. “I would die for your legs,” she says standing next to me.

  “Shut up. You know you have an amazing body.”

  “Come here. I’ll do your hair and make-up.”

  Farrah gives me a front French braid and lets my brown waves fall past my shoulders. Then she only applies a little mascara and lip-gloss. “There you go. Go look in the mirror.”

  I walk over to the full-length mirror by the door and actually like what I see.

  “I’m gonna take it you like it,” Farrah says.

  I nod.

  “We look hot. Lets go party.”

  Billy and Logan’s eyes almost pop out of their sockets when they see me. “Wow! What did you do to our little Jade?” Billy asks.

  “Shut up,” I say, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. “Logan, you ready to go?”

  “Yeah. Jesse is meeting us at my house.”

  “Jesse? Didn’t he just leave last weekend? He’s already back?” Farrah asks confused.

  “Yeah. He had a fight with his mom about playing football. He’s just here for the night. Give the guy a break,” Logan says looking annoyed.

  “Whatever.” Farrah rolls her eyes. “Well, we better go already. I need to go see Josh.”

  Logan and me both turn to face Billy. Logan begins, “Well Billy it’s been fun. I can’t say I’ll miss the ice cream or the customers, but I’ll miss you.”

  “Me too,” I quickly add.

  “Well I feel the same way about you two. Have a good year, and if you want a job next summer just come look me up.”

  “Thank you,” we both answer right before walking out the door for the season.

  Derek’s house is not too far from Logan’s so we decide to leave Farrah’s car at his house and walk down to the party. I have no idea what Derek’s parents do, but they’re away leaving him alone. I think they feel guilty and that’s why they allow him to have all these parties at his house.

  I used to go to them with Garret. They were always the same, a bunch of people dancing to loud music while getting drunk. There’s always a beer bong game going on and couples making out everywhere. I’ve heard many girls lost their virginity in one of his five bedrooms upstairs.

  Garret always wanted to go up to one of those rooms, but I always refused. Instead I ended up losing my virginity in his car. It was very painful and very unromantic. It didn’t get much better after that. I still wish I hadn’t slept with him, but I was dying to feel anything but the pain in my heart. It didn’t make anything better.

  The walls seem to be vibrating as the music blasts throughout Derek’s house. Everyone is scattered around his huge living room and outside around his pool.

  The four of us walk through his house and head outside where most of the football players are hanging out. A girl bumps right into us as she celebrates dunking her ball in one of the plastic cups making another girl have to drink the beer. The last time I played beer bong I couldn’t walk straight if you paid me.

  “Well I’m off. See you guys later,” Farrah chirps, quickly finding Josh. She strolls over to join him. I really hope he’s good enough for her. I swear I will kill him if he hurts her.

  I quickly look around for Austin, but I don’t see him.

  “You wanna drink?” Jesse asks Logan and me.

  “Yeah, thanks,” we both answer. He walks off towards the kegs.

  “Who you looking for?” Logan asks.

  “No one.”

  “You sure?” Oh God, does he know something?

  “Is Jesse okay? He seems sad,” I try to change the subject.

  “Yeah. You know how it is. Our parents’ relationship sucked and we pay the emotional price.”

  “So true. We really should start our broken home club,” I tease trying hard not to remember what I went through today.

  “Sounds good to me. We could meet every Thursday and bitch about how screwed up we’ve become since our daddies left home.”

  We both laugh walking out further to where Logan’s football friends are standing. I wish Farrah wouldn’t have left me alone. I feel awkward being the only girl among all these guys.

  “He’s probably scoring as we speak,” Derek says taking a sip from his cup.

  “Who’s scoring and with who?” Logan asks, jumping into their conversation.

  “Austin. He and Leah went for a walk on the beach, but I’m sure by now they’re lying down on the sand,” Derek says laughing, breaking every single piece of me into bitter grains.

  “They always end up lying down somewhere,” another one says laughing.

  Logan looks over at me as wanting to see my reaction. I try to make the corners of my mouth go up, but they don’t move. I don’t know why I’m even surprised.

  I spin around and walk off to find Farrah. I’m such an idiot for thinking there was something going on between us. Why did I trust him again? All Austin cares about is himself.

  “Hey, here’s your drink,” Jesse says stepping in front of me.

  “Thank you.” I take it and gulp it down.

  “Whoa, you were thirsty.”

  “Which one’s Logan’s?”

  “This one,” he says pointing to the cup in his left hand.

  “Thanks.” I take it and continue to look for Farrah. I think I’m ready to go home.

  Why did Austin ask me to come to this party anyway? And if he knew I was coming why would he go off with Leah? I finish Logan’s drink and quickly find another cup of beer.

  Then again Austin wasn’t offering anything but a friendship. I think I built it bigger in my head. Damn it! I wish he’d never come back into my life. He’s just going to ruin it more than it already is. I swear I’m never talking to him again.

  Oh God, it’s really becoming hard to walk in these shoes. Or maybe it’s the alcohol. I take my last gulp and grab another drink from some guy walking by.

  “Hey!” He calls out, but doesn’t stop me.

  I’m glad I learned about Austin’s true colors before I invest too much of my time and heart. I swear I am never going to trust anyone again.

  I walk through the crowd feeling lost. Where the hell is Farrah? I look up the stairs and see Garret coming down the stairs with Cara. He finally got his chance to try out one of those rooms.

  I really need to get out of here. I turn around and BANG hard into someone’s broad chest. My beer goes flying in the air as I begin to fall backwards. Two strong arms grab me and stop me from busting my ass.

  I look up into my hero’s eyes and realize it’s too late. I’m invested.

  13

  Head Spinning
>
  “We really must stop meeting like this,” Austin says still holding me in his arms. I want to get lost in them, but then I remember he was just with Leah enjoying himself.

  I pull away from him and straighten my dress that is proving to be too short. “I’m sorry.”

  His eyes slowly navigate up my body and finally settle on my eyes. “Trust me it’s not a problem. I’m glad you came.”

  “I was just leaving.” I begin to walk away.

  He grabs my arm and twirls me around. “But why? I don’t understand. I thought we were gonna hang out.”

  Oh no, why did he have to spin me around so fast? The beer has my stomach and head not agreeing with any kind of movement. I’ve never been good at drinking. “I need to sit.”

  “You don’t look so good.”

  “I don’t feel so good.”

  “Come on.” He takes my hand and leads me back outside. I wish he wouldn’t walk so fast.

  We walk past the football team holding court by a bunch of girls. We walk past some people making out as if no one could see them. We walk past Logan, Jesse, Cara, and Garret. I glance back just in time to see Logan and Garret’s eyes narrow in anger. They all vanish out of sight as the crowd fills in.

  Where is he taking me? I don’t think I can walk anymore. We continue until we find the wooden stairs that lead to the beach.

  He holds my hand tighter helping me step down until we are half way down. I sit down on the hard cold step happy I don’t have to take another step.

  “Are you okay?” He asks.

  “No. I’m not!” The salty breeze hits me, making me feel nauseous again while the loud music makes it hard for my brain to concentrate. Why did I drink?

  “How many beers did you have?”

  “Three and half.”

  “Three and half?” he laughs.

  “I’m a light weight.”

  He laughs harder sitting down next to me. His knee gazes mine. I slide further away from him. I don’t want any reason to make my body feel any kind of attraction to him. After tonight I really have to get rid of him.

  “How long have you been here?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m leaving, I’ve had enough of this party.” I try to get up but my legs immediately begin to shake and force me to sit back down.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t try to go anywhere for now. Besides I thought we were gonna hang out. You don’t want to anymore?”

  “Where’s Leah? Are you done hanging out with her?”

  “What?”

  “Weren’t you just hooking up with her?”

  “Who told you that? I was with her, but we were not hooking up. We went for a walk on the beach and talked about senior year and stuff,” he explains actually looking sincere.

  “Why didn’t you hook up with her? Everyone knows she wants you.”

  “Been there, done that, and I do not wanna repeat it.” The thought of them together turns my stomach. Or maybe it’s the alcohol doing that. Yeah it has to be the alcohol, because there is no way I should care about who he’s hooked up with.

  “I don’t wanna come between you and another girl.” Did I really just say that? Damn this alcohol!

  “Don’t worry you’re not. There really isn’t anything going on between Leah and me.” He slides closer to me.

  “Whatever. Look, I’m fine you can go back to the party. Go find another girl to hang out with.” That’s it Jade. Stay strong!

  “No. I’m staying here with you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re the only girl I want to hang out with?”

  “I am?” His damn eyes are making it hard to stay strong.

  He nods displaying his dimples. The nausea disappears from my stomach only to be replaced by fluttering butterflies. “I’m happy you’re back in my life again.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. Just like I don’t know why I ran off that day you kissed me.”

  “Oh God, you remember that?” I was hoping he forgot I had kissed him. I wanted him to think I was mad at him for just teasing me.

  His smile becomes wider. “A guy never forgets his first kiss.”

  “Oh God.” I lower my head onto my lap. I don’t think I can ever face him again.

  He places his hand on my back. “I was a stupid eleven year old to have run away from such a beautiful girl.”

  I sit back up. “You thought I was gross. Remember? You even said it a bunch of times.”

  “I didn’t mean it. I was stupid and afraid my friends were going to make fun of me. They were already giving me a hard time for being friends with you. I also hate to admit I had a crush on Nina Oiler and you kissed me right in front her. That’s why I got so mad. I’m really sorry.”

  “Nina Oiler? Really? Did she ever pay attention to you?”

  “No. She dated Derek instead and then gained like eighty pounds.”

  “Sorry I ruined that for you. I’m sure she’ll hook up with you now.”

  He starts to laugh making me laugh too. “I love your laughter,” he says once again making the butterflies in my stomach fly around. “It was one sound I really missed when I lost you. I missed you so much.”

  “You missed me?”

  He slides closer to me. “Yeah. You make every thing in my life right again,” he whispers sending small vibrations on my skin.

  “I do?” My heads spins faster making me dizzy. I try to inhale but can’t feel any air coming into my lungs.

  He nods, bringing his face closer. His brown eyes begin to melt into mine. Ohmigod, is he going to kiss me? What if after our lips touch he runs off again and doesn’t talk to me for another six years? I need to stop him, but I can’t find the strength to do it.

  He places his warm hand on the side of my face and continues to bring his face closer to mine. Every inch of me shakes with excitement and terror.

  Our lips are so close to each other I can taste the mint coming from his mouth. Every part of me that felt hard as a rock now melts into mush. I no longer can hear the party behind us. Right now it’s just him and me. I close my eyes as our lips begin to connect.

  “AAHHEEEM!” Someone blares out way too loud interrupting this moment.

  14

  Kiss Interrupted

  Austin quickly pulls away from me bringing a chill to my body. We both turn our heads around slowly and see Logan glaring at us.

  “Hey,” I mumble giving him a weak wave. I wish it wasn’t him who caught us.

  “I was just checking on you,” Logan says eyeing Austin with anger. I know

  Logan is only looking out for me, but right now he’s making me feel like I just got caught doing something wrong by my parents. “I’m fine.”

  “We’re both fine,” Austin assures him.

  Logan doesn’t move. He just keeps glaring at him.

  “Well we better get back to the party,” Austin says getting up. “Do you think you can walk?” He gives me his hand and helps me up.

  “Why wouldn’t she be able to walk?” Logan questions.

  “You know me, I can’t hold my liquor,” I joke hoping to get Logan to crack a smile.

  “I know, that’s why I’m here. Making sure no one takes advantage of that weakness.”

  Austin steps back looking uncomfortable in his own skin. I can’t believe he just said that.

  “I got her,” Logan says coming to help me up the stairs. “You can head back.”

  “It’s cool. I can take her back to the party,” Austin says coming to grab my other arm. In a minute they’re going to start pulling me in two directions.

  I shake them both off. I know what I’m about to say is going to piss one of them off, but I say it anyway. “I’m fine. So you can go now. I don’t need your help.”

  Logan shakes his head in anger. “Let me know when you’re ready to go.” He turns around and disappears back into the party.

  I turn to look back to Austin. “I’m sorry about that. He can be a little over protective some
times.” I sit back down hoping he’ll join me.

  “We better go back to the party.”

  “Okay,” I say trying my best not to sound sad. He probably just realized what we were about to do here and now wants to get away from me. I should have sent him away and not Logan.

  I wish I had the strength in my legs to run up the stairs and get away from him as quick as possible. Just as I’m about to take the first step I feel Austin’s fingers intertwine with mine.

  I want to pull my hand away to show him I don’t need his help, but at the same time I like the feeling of his hand in mine.

  We walk up the stairs without saying a word. As soon as we get to the top of t he loosens his fingers making my heart drop, but quickly wraps them around my hand again. I can’t believe this is happening. Do I want this to happen? He walks me through the party until we find some of his friends.

  They all stare at me probably wondering why he’s with me. I bite my lower lip and try to avoid all their eyes.

  Austin talks to them about some football player while still holding my hand tightly. I look around and find Farrah standing by Josh, looking uninterested in whatever he’s talking about to some guys. I’m sure she thought she was the only person he wanted to talk to tonight.

  She spots me and cranks her neck to look at Austin standing next me. Farrah opens her mouth wide and then slides it into a glowing smile. She gives me two thumbs up. I can’t help but smile.

  I turn back to Austin and find him staring at me. “What?” I nervously ask.

  “I didn’t get to tell you how beautiful you look tonight.”

  “Thank you.” My whole body turns red.

  He pulls me in closer tucking me under his right arm. I have no idea what’s happening between us, but I really like it.

  From across the room I notice Leah’s eyes trying to burn a hole through me. If she didn’t hate me before she sure hates me now. I don’t know why but I pull away from Austin.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks crinkling his forehead. I motion over to her. He turns his head and sees Leah. His eyes close in regret. He turns back to face me. “How about we get out of here?”