Because of You

by Maria E. Monteiro

  “I saw your mom leave with that man and I guess I just wanted to check you on you.” He smiles making his dimples appear. I no longer have the power to resist them.

  “It sucks, but I’m fine.” He looks back at his house like he has something else he rather be doing. I don’t understand why he even came over. “Umm...well I better go back in. Now that you know I’m fine you can go back home.” I try to close the door put Austin places his hand on it and prevents it from moving.

  “You’re not gonna invite me in?”

  “I didn’t think you wanted to come in.”

  He takes a step closer to me making me suck in my breath. “Nice pajamas.” Oh God, Why didn’t I wear my sexier pair? Damn my love for comfy PJs. “Are you going to bed?”

  “No. Look, what do you want?”

  “There’s the attitude I love.”

  “Whatever! Aren’t your parents wondering where you are or something?”

  “I know you’re dressed for bed and everything but I was wondering if you wanna go for swim?”

  “Where?”

  “My pool.”

  “I didn’t know you had a pool. What about your parents?”

  “They’re not home. My mom is at some book club meeting and my dad is working late.”

  “So you wanna come over for a swim?”

  Every inch of me thinks this might be a bad idea but somehow I still nod my head yes. “Let me go change. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”

  “Okay.”

  I run up the stairs and quickly look through every bikini I own. I don’t want to wear the stripe one again. Why don’t I own better suits? I finally settle on a pink and grey one. I put on a pair of shorts and a purple tank top over it. Hopefully I’m not making a mistake.

  I walk around to the side of his house and enter straight into his backyard. It’s weird I haven’t been back here in so long. I lied about not knowing he had a pool. I remember watching the workmen going in and out of his backyard while they were putting it in. I was so jealous. It was around that time my mother also started suggesting we should get a pool. My dad always said no. I know she would die if she knew he now has one in his new house.

  This warm September air is perfect to just jump right in, but instead I remove my shorts and sit at the edge of the pool. I dip my toes in the warm water and stare at the pink stokes across the sky reflecting in the pool. It’s so beautiful.

  Austin walks out of his house carrying two water bottles. “Here, in case you want a drink.” He places the bottles on a small metal table by the lawn seats, takes off his faded UT T-shirt, which I’m starting to believe is his favorite shirt, and jumps right in destroying the pink streaks. The water splashes me waking up my skin.

  Austin pops up and swims towards me. The water glistens on his face. My heart races as his dark eyes take me in. A smile flashes on his face right before he dives underwater again and disappears.

  He loves to do this, and if my memory services me correctly he’s up to no good. He resurfaces again right between my legs. “Don’t you wanna come in?”

  His two cold wet arms wrap around my legs. “Don’t you dare!” Before I can stop him he pulls me in. I scream a loud ear-piercing yell and swallow a gallon of chlorine water as I sink down to the bottom touching the rough concrete floor.

  I shoot back up to see Austin standing outside of the pool laughing. I try to act mad but I can’t help laughing too. “I’m gonna kill you!” I yell splashing water at him.

  “First you’ll have to catch me!” Austin jumps in and swims away from me.

  We swim around the pool splashing each other and having races, which he wins each and every time. So many times I want to dive into his arms and find his lips, but I fight this urge. Right now we are acting like friends, and this might be all he wants from me.

  We stay in the pool while the sun disappears and the full moon appears. I wish I could stay in here forever but I know I better get back home before my mom or his parents come back.

  I swim away from him and jump out. My hands now resemble prunes.

  “Where are you going?” He asks.

  “I better get home.”

  “Wait, I’ll walk you.” He jumps out of the pool dripping wet. “Let me run in and change. I’ll be right back.”

  He rushes into his house as I put on my shorts and tank top back on. Now that the sun is no longer out the air has become cooler. I can’t stop my body from shivering.

  Austin comes back out seconds later with the same T-shirt and black sweatpants on. Of course he even looks good dressed in sweats.

  “You ready?” He asks.

  I nod. We begin to walk back to my house.

  “I had fun. It’s been a while since I’ve stayed in the pool that long.”

  “Me too. Thanks for inviting me over.”

  “Anytime.”

  I open my door but I don’t want to go inside and have this night end. “Do you wanna come in?”

  “Yeah.”

  I lead him into the living room. “Wait for me in here. I’m just gonna go and change. I’ll be right back.”

  “Are you gonna put on those pajamas on again?” he asks.

  “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

  I run upstairs with my heart pounding in my ear. I take off all of my wet stuff throw it on the floor and slip back into my pajamas. I quickly shake my wet hair out and spray some perfume on before I run back down.

  “I’m glad you put them back on.”

  I sit right next to him. “I’m shocked none of your friends have tried to contact you tonight to party or hook up.”

  He laughs. “Who do you think I am? Trust me I stay home more than I’d like.” He cocks his head to the side. “Have you been keeping tabs on me?”

  “You wish. To be honest up until three weeks ago I didn’t even realize you still existed.”

  “Ouch!” Austin falls back pretending to be in pain.

  “Oh please, you didn’t realize I existed either.”

  He sits back up, looks deep into my eyes and says, “I always knew you existed.”

  “Yeah right.”

  “I did. Every time I saw you a part of my heart would hurt.”

  “Whatever.”

  “It did. I missed you. I never stopped thinking about you. Our friendship was amazing. I always felt like an idiot for running away that day and saying those horrible things to you. I’m really sorry. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you.”

  I take a deep breath taking in everything he’s saying. “Don’t worry about it. It’s the past lets keep it there,” I say finally forgiving him.

  His brown eyes widen as his smile does too. “You know you left me thinking about that kiss you almost gave me in the hallway earlier. I guess that was the real reason I came by today.”

  “So you came over for a kiss?”

  “Maybe.” He starts laughing. “No. I mean I’m just happy we’re getting closer. I’m glad we’re...”

  “Friends?” I ask looking down at the hardwood floor.

  “Yeah. I mean is that all you want?”

  “What do you want?”

  “I want whatever is happening between us to continue to happen.”

  My heart begins to pound loud in my ear. “What’s happening?” I whisper.

  “This.” He places his warm hand on my check and then leans in pressing his chlorine tasting lips on mine. I hold my breath as we begin to kiss.

  He pulls away for a second and look into my eyes. He moves his hand from my cheek to the back of head and presses me in closer. I part my lips and allow his tongue to enter my mouth. He licks my lips sending sparks through every inch of me.

  He continues to lean forward causing me to lie back on the couch. Right before my body is all the way back I hear keys fussing with the lock. We quickly sit up and pretend that we are in the middle of a conversation.

  I expect to see my mother walk through the door, but instead it’s Carrie who walks in. Her
eyes open wide when they land on Austin and me sitting on the couch.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask her.

  “Hello to you too,” she says putting her bag down on the floor. “Hello Austin.”

  “Hi. How are you Carrie?”

  “I’m awesome,” Carrie says with a surprised smile. “Where’s mom?”

  “She went out to dinner with some man.”

  “Tony?” How does she know about Tony? Then again why am I shocked? My mother and Carrie have always been more like best friends rather then mother and daughter.

  “Yeah. Do you know him?”

  “No. But Mom told me all about him. I’m so happy she’s dating.”

  “What?” I ask mortified. How can she be happy about our mother dating?

  “I’m happy she’s dating. What did you think she was going to be single for the rest of her life? Dad moved on, why shouldn’t she?”

  I know she’s right, but deep inside I still wish for them to get back together.

  “So Austin, what are you doing here?” Carrie asks lifting one brow higher than the other one.

  “Finding happiness,” Austin replies looking at me with a sweet smile. “Well, I better get going. Carrie, it was nice seeing you again. Jade it’s not a problem, I can give you a ride to school tomorrow.”

  “Huh? Oh yeah, thanks. I’ll walk you out.” We both hurry past Carrie who still is looking at us questionably.

  The butterflies in my stomach begin to go wild knowing we are going to be alone again. He takes my hand in his as soon as we step outside.

  “I had a great time,” I say.

  “Me too.”

  He leans on my sister’s car and pulls me into him. I wish I could stay in his arms all night long. “By the way, I really love those pajamas?”

  I laugh. “I look like a dork.”

  “No, you look just right.” He leans in and covers my mouth with his. Once again I get swept away in his kisses. This feels so perfect. I look inside of me for the fear I’ve felt all those other times, but it’s no longer there. All there’s inside me is happiness.

  “Well I better get back inside,” I say pulling away.

  “Okay. I’ll see you in the morning.” He steps away from me and walks back across the street. I already know I’m going to be sitting at my bedroom window a lot.

  18

  People Are Talking

  “What was Austin doing here?” Carrie asks when I come back inside.

  “Nothing. We were just hanging out.” I take my hair tie off my wrist and bring my cold wet hair up into a messy ponytail. “What are you doing here anyway?”

  “I came to talk to mom about my wedding. I was supposed to come tomorrow morning, but I thought I come tonight and surprise Mom.”

  “Well you surprised me,” I laugh.

  “I bet I did. Now tell me what was Austin really doing here?”

  “I already told you nothing.”

  “Yeah right.” She strolls into the kitchen as I follow behind.

  “Carrie, can I ask you a question?”

  “What?” She tosses me a bottle of water.

  “Thank you. Are you really not going to let Dad walk you down the aisle?”

  “No. I don’t want him there.”

  “As much as I can’t stand Dad it kind of breaks my heart he won’t be there. I totally understand not allowing Trisha to come, but not Dad. I mean he’s our dad.”

  Her eyes turn dark as she says through gritted teeth, “Dad fucked things up with me. And I don’t mean just emotional, but also things with Jeff. Do you know how hard it is still to want to get married after what dad did to mom? He’s made hard for me to trust anyone. I don’t want him at my wedding reminding me what I don’t want my relationship to be.

  “But...”

  “My mind is made up and I don’t care what you think.”

  I swallow hard and don’t say another word. I totally understand why she’s mad at him, but at the same time I don’t think I could omit him from my life completely, especially on such an important day.

  “Carrie!” My mother screams walking in. Carrie races over and slings her tiny arms around her as if she hadn’t seen her in months instead of three weeks. “Tony, this is my daughter Carrie.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Tony says, shaking her hand. Why is he here again? I swear this guys never spends time in his own home.

  “You too,” Carrie says smiling brightly.

  “I’m so happy you came in tonight. I was worried about you having to drive in so early tomorrow morning.”

  “Me too, that’s why I decided to head out right after work. And I also needed to see you.” She gives my mom another hug.

  “I needed to see you too.” My mom pulls away from Carrie and finally acknowledges I’m in the room too. “How was dinner at Farrah’s?”

  “I didn’t go.”

  “What? I thought that was the whole reason you couldn’t join us.”

  “Something came up. Well, it’s late and I have to go to school tomorrow. Good night. Carrie, I’m glad you’re home.” I give her a quick hug, and then run out of the kitchen before my mother orders me to say goodnight to Tony again.

  I’ve been a mess all morning long. I’ve been digging in my closet since I jumped out of bed two hours ago. Should I wear a skirt or jeans? What about my hair? Should I straighten it or leave it wavy? I hate dressing for someone else. All I keep thinking is what will Austin like on me.

  I finally decide on a short black shirt and a lacey cream top. I think I look good.

  My phone buzzes just as I finish running my flat iron through my hair. I look over at the lit screen and see a text message from Austin. Do u want me 2 meet u @ my car or @ ur front door?

  I know if I tell him to meet me at my door my mother will not only question me, she’ll also question him. I quickly text him back, Meet me @ ur car.

  I run down the stairs and try my best to open the front door before anyone sees me. Knowing Carrie I’m sure she’s already told my mother all about Austin being over last night.

  I grab the cold chrome doorknob and begin to turn it. Just before the latch is completely all the way back into the door I hear footsteps approaching behind me, and my mother say, “You’re not even going to say goodbye?”

  I slowly pivot and put a big smile on my face. “I thought you already left.”

  “No. I was just making breakfast. Come in the kitchen and eat some of it.”

  “You made breakfast?” I raise my eyebrows in doubt.

  “Well I cut up fruit for the cereal.” That’s what I thought.

  “I’m sorry, but I really have to get to school.”

  “Okay, well then I’ll give you a ride. I wanted to talk to you anyway. Let me go get my keys.”

  Of course she’s going to make this harder than it has to be. “Mom, it’s cool. I already have a ride.”

  “Farrah?”

  “No.”

  “Then with who?”

  “Umm...umm.” Damn her!

  “Is it Austin?” she asks widening her grin. I knew it. I swear Carrie has the biggest mouth ever.

  I nod. Please don’t let her make a big deal out of this.

  “Yes. I heard he was over here last night when I wasn’t home. Is there anything I need to know?” She folds her arms tightly under her chest as she raises her eyebrows

  “No. We’re just friends.”

  “Since when? Because the last time I checked you despised him.”

  “I don’t any more,” I sigh. Mom, can I go now? He’s waiting for me.”

  “Why doesn’t he come to the door to get you?”

  “Oh God, Mom! He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend, who happens to live across the street and is giving me a ride. It’s not a big deal. I need to get out there before he’s leaves me.”

  “Fine. But I’m keeping my eye on you,” she teases. “Have a good day at school.”

  Right before I turn back around I see Carrie walkin
g down the stairs with a satisfied grin on her face. “Tell Austin I said hello.” Both my mom and her begin to laugh.

  “Shut up!” I snap right before I walk out the door. Nobody in this family can mind their own business.

  I saunter out to another warm day. Fall begins this week but it feels like summer is fighting hard to stick around a little longer, which is fine by me.

  I look across the street and see Austin leaning against his car. My legs can’t move fast enough to get to him. All I want to do is jump into his arms but at the same time I know I can’t, at least not in front of my house.

  “Hi,” he says, bringing his arms towards my waist.

  Right before his hands reaches me I step back and see his brows furrow. “I’m sorry, but I know my mom and sister are staring out the window right now and I don’t want...”

  “Say no more. I get it. Do you want me to open your door?”

  “No. But thank you.” I smile and walk to passenger side of the car. I still can’t believe this is all happening. I never thought I would be getting in a car with Austin excited for the moment he kisses me again.

  He turns the car on and drives away fast. At the top of our street he makes a left turn and pulls over. “What’s wrong?” I ask confused.

  “I can’t wait another minute to kiss you. Especially when you look so beautiful.”

  The butterflies in my stomach begin to knock into each other as they go crazy. He leans in and brings his sweet lips to mine. This is all I’ve wanted to do since he left my side last night. It’s perfect.

  Austin pulls away and puts his car back into drive. “I’m not sure I can make it to school without pulling over again.”

  “Well you have to. I don’t wanna be late for school.”

  He groans interlacing his fingers with mine. I have to fight everything I have not to tell him to pull over right now. I can’t wait to kiss him again.

  The minute Austin parks his car my muscles begin to stiffen. Should I hold his hand or should I walk ahead of him? Is he going to want me to act like nothing is going on between us? I don’t know what to do. All these thoughts are running through my head making me feel like I’m new at all of this?

  “Thanks for the ride,” I say getting out of his car.