A Life Without Fear (Life #2)

by C. S. Jacobs

  “He’s fine,” he responds, not actually answering my question.

  “I suppose if I say no you’ll still show up, right?”

  “Right.”

  “All right then, let’s go.”

  He opens my door for me then walks around to get into the driver’s seat.

  “Is there anywhere you’d like to stop before your house?”

  “Actually, yes. I’m craving sushi, do you have a favorite?”

  “As a matter of fact I do, it’s off E 53rd. They take online orders too. Google it and you place your order right on their website. I recommend the ‘Pacific Jewel’ roll, it’s amazing.”

  “Awesome, thank you. I’ll have to order that one, would you like anything?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  Finding the web page quickly, I place my order. We arrive a short time later and Adam insists on picking it up. I know it’s to pay for it, but I’ve already prepaid with my card. I win! He runs out a short time later with the bag in tow and a smile on his face.

  “Smart.”

  “I try,” I respond.

  The drive home from there is short, he walks me to my door and tells me he’ll be here in the morning. I say goodnight then head inside. With Blake gone, Joey being an asshole, and Rodger gone, I’m all alone. I turn on the television and eat my dinner in the living room. Adam was spot on, this roll is fucking delicious. After finishing my dinner and watching a few reality television shows, I clean up my mess then head up to my room. Changing into pajamas I head straight to bed—it’s been a long day. I check my phone one last time before bed and still nothing.

  Humph, they both suck.

  Not wanting to bother Blake and not wanting to let Joey win, I silence my phone then go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

  Waking up the next morning determined to have a better day, I get up early enough to allow for a run; it’s much needed after the hiatus I’ve taken. Changing quickly, I grab my headphones and head out of the door. I pick country hits and Kenny Chesney’s ‘American Kids’ starts playing. A perfect upbeat song to get in the running zone. I hit the pavement running. No easing into it today, I want to feel the burn. Making it to my two-mile mark, I turn around, checking my phone to see I’m right on pace, but I want to beat it so I sprint all the way home. By the time I get to my steps my legs feel like Jell-O. I’m a dumbass for running like that and now I’ll pay for it, but oh man did it feel good. I hurry inside and get ready to take a shower, turning on my bathroom stereo Hozier starts singing about going to church. Stripping out of my sweat-laced clothes, I take a quick shower. I get out and start to blow-dry and straighten my hair. Today is a casual day at work, well semi-casual I should say. I change into skinny jeans, black knee high Louis Vuitton’s and a loose black blouse. I apply my makeup and spray Juicy Couture perfume then head out. Grabbing my long coat, I reach for my keys and purse and lock up the house. Adam is waiting by the curb. I shake my head when I see him, so strange, I’m not used to this, but I’m sure I could get used to it.

  “Good morning, Angelica.”

  “Hey, Adam.”

  He opens the door for me and I buckle up. Getting my phone, I check for text messages—nothing.

  “How’s Blake doing?”

  “He’s doing well, he should be home tonight. He told me to tell you he will try his hardest.”

  “That’s nice of him. But I understand business, sometimes it’s unpredictable.”

  “Yes, very much so,” he responds.

  More traffic greets us this morning so I check my CNN app, regular depressing news. I check my TMZ app next and am shocked, about six stories down is a story about Joey.

  Model Joey Livingston is JL, a well-known canvas artist in NYC, Mother confirms.

  Fuck me running. This bitch wants to die. Joey has done so well at hiding the fact that he is JL the photographer, he liked his anonymity. He loved to see his art sell without people knowing it was him, he felt validated, not like they were purchasing it simply because he was the artist behind them.

  God damn it, what’s wrong with that woman.

  “Hey, Adam we’re going to take a detour this morning, 160 W 97th Street please.”

  “Of course.”

  I know it’s way too early for that lush to be up, but I give no fucks about it. Joey has told me the code before, so I don’t even need to alert her I’m there. The detour takes longer than I’d hoped. I’m totally going to be late for work but for this will be worth it.

  “Adam, I might be a little while, but I’ll try to be as quick as possible.” I don’t give him time to respond, so as soon as the car stops in front of the apartment complex I hop out of the car and make my way inside.

  I hit the elevator button and ride it up to her floor. I’ve been here a few times with Joey, so I know where she lives. Walking down the hall to her apartment I punch in the door code and let myself in. Moving through the kitchen and living room; it looks spotless. Hmm, broke but can afford a maid, interesting. Martha is a slob, always has been. There’s no way she’s doing this on her own. I go down the hall to the master bedroom and swing open the door. There’s the slob I know. I can barely walk through her room—there are shoes and clothes strewn everywhere and the royal bitch herself is passed out in her bed. Well, not for long. I reach for her comforter and rip it off of the bed.

  “Hey bitch, wake up!” I yell. She startles until she sees me.

  “What the hell are you doing in my home, Angelica?”

  “I’ve come to issue you with a warning, Martha. I’ve grown tired of your shit.”

  “Is that so?” Reaching into her nightstand she snags one of her Virginia Slims and lights it up. “What the hell are you going to do to me honey?” she responds cockily.

  “I’m going to wreak havoc on your God damn world. I’m tired of you fucking with Joey, it’s time you backed the fuck off away from him. Do you understand me?” By this point, I’m right in front of her face.

  “Honey, you don’t scare me. I’ll do whatever the hell I want.”

  “Oh you ugly old bitch, I know I don’t scare you.” Her face shows disdain at the description I just threw her way. “I know what does scare you though Martha, and that’s money.” She looks confused at where I’m going with this. “I’m calling my grandfather today and telling him to make sure your life is ruined. Every reputable club, organization, group or man will have nothing to do with you.

  Nothing ! You want to talk about being homeless? Oh honey, I’m going to show you homeless. I’m going to make sure I see you under the bridge in the park during my morning runs. I’m going to make sure no one will ever go near you for fear of contracting an STD. You’re done!” Before I know what I’m doing, I slap her across the face. “That’s for Joey you cunt! This is your one and only God damn warning, Martha. I swear on everything I love I will wreck you if you so much as look in Joey’s direction. You no longer exist to him. Do I make myself clear?” I’m shaking from nerves, I’m so worked up.

  “I’ll leave him alone, I swear,” she says with tears running down her face.

  “You’re pathetic, bitch.” I turn on my heels and walk out of her apartment without looking back, her weeping gets louder as I reach the elevator and it makes me smile. Good God I’m evil.

  Walking back outside Adam is waiting by the back door.

  “Are you okay, Angelica?” Adam asks as I sit in the car.

  “Perfect,” I respond and smile at him.

  He doesn’t say another word to me the whole drive to work. I’m trying to take even breaths to calm my racing heart. I know I scared her, I’ve never used my grandfather’s name to my advantage but, in this case, I knew he’d forgive me if it ever came back to him. Joey is the brother I never had, and I will fiercely protect him like he’s blood no matter what. I know she heard me loud and clear, that bitch is just like my mother, money and men are the most important things in the world. They don’t give two f
ucks about their children. Class acts, the pair of them. Pulling up to the curb, I open the door before Adam even puts the car in park.

  “Thanks for the lift.”

  I hurry out of the car and head straight inside, Charlie is on the phone so I simply wave and head up the elevators. Shit, I didn’t get my coffee, oh well, it was worth it. I wave at Rosie as I walk into my office, Samantha walks into my office shortly after I do.

  “Hey, I’m ready to start when you are,” she announces enthusiastically.

  “Wonderful, let me just catch up on my emails then we can go chat with Bill and see about a new project we were assigned, okay?” I respond.

  “Awesome, I’ll be waiting.”

  Once she leaves I start up my computer, checking my phone as I wait for it to start up and I have a missed call from Blake. Odd, must’ve been when I was with Martha, I left my phone in the car. I call him back.

  “Hello Angelica, is everything all right?”

  “Yes, why wouldn’t it be? Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” I respond.

  “Yes, I’m sorry for my sudden departure. I had some work to handle. But luckily it’s all sorted out and I should be back in the city by this evening.”

  “Where are you?” I curiously ask.

  “Vegas.”

  “Sin City, nice.”

  “It’s not really my scene.”

  “What is Blake?”

  “You are Angelica,” he responds in a deep voice.

  “Before you make me forget, I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done while you’ve been gone. You really didn’t have to, but I appreciate it immensely.”

  “You don’t need to thank me, it was nothing. If I can make your life a little bit easier I’m more than happy to,” he responds sweetly.

  “You are too good to be true. You know that?”

  “I could say the same about you.”

  “Right, I’m a hot mess and you know it,” I quip back.

  “Yes, you’re hot but you are no mess.”

  “Sly.”

  “I try.”

  “I’ll call you when I get in, perhaps we can go for some froyo.”

  “Will Gracie get to join us?” I ask.

  “I’ll ask her mother.”

  “Perfect, talk to you later Blake. Fly safe.”

  “Goodbye, Angelica.”

  We both hang up at the same time. I quickly check my emails then call Samantha in so we can go meet with Bill. The meeting is quick and Samantha takes plenty of notes for us to do research on the company. Once I tell her to go ahead back to her desk and report back to me in an hour, I head to the breakroom for a bottle of water. My head is throbbing and I need some aspirin. I make it back to my desk and throw back three aspirins and pray to the Gods above it relieves the headache. Not even ten minutes after I take the pills my office phone rings.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey Angelica, it’s Rosie. I have an Adam out here for you.”

  “Really? Okay, I’ll be right out.”

  I hang up and make my way out to the reception desk when I see Adam holding a bag of Starbucks and another reusable coffee mug.

  “Oh sweet Jesus, you’re amazing.”

  “Well, it was Blake as I’m sure you already know. Don’t thank me yet, they ran out of chocolate syrup so they gave me another drink instead.”

  “They what? How in the hell do they run out of chocolate syrup? That’s just wrong!” He laughs at my comments. “So not funny, so what is this?” I ask holding up my cup.

  “Skinny Vanilla Latte. The girl across the street said you’d love it.” He throws in at the end.

  “She better be right.” I take a sip just to try it out. “God, it’s good.” He laughs then nods his head.

  “Good. Have a good day, Angelica.”

  “You too. Thank you, Adam.”

  “Who’s the cutie?” Rosie asks from behind me.

  “That’s Adam. He’s a driver for my friend,” I say nonchalantly. That reminds me, I need to tell Bill I’m dating Blake. Shit.

  “Well, he’s F.I.N.E.” She spells it out for emphasis.

  “He’s not too bad looking is he?” I wink at her. We both giggle then I head back to my office. After drinking some more of my coffee, I call Blake.

  “Angelica.”

  “You’re perfect. Thank you so much. I was dying from a caffeine headache.”

  “You’re very welcome. Adam told me you didn’t make it in time to stop. I have to admit, I was surprised about that.” I know what he’s asking.

  “Yes, I had to make an unexpected stop and it took up more time than I’d hoped, but now you rectified the situation. Thank you.”

  “Anytime.”

  “Okay that’s all, talk to you later Blake.”

  “Until then, Angelica.” I don’t hang up the phone and neither does he. “What are you thinking?”

  “That I miss you and it’s a weird feeling.”

  “I miss you too. Why would it be weird?” he asks.

  “I’m not used to being attached to a man. Well aside from Joey and my granddad that is.” I take another sip of my coffee. “It’s weird and it’s nice all in one package.”

  “Let’s focus on the nice part, okay?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “That’s all I’ve ever asked.”

  “Bye Blake.”

  “Bye Angelica.” This time, I hang up the phone.

  After his call, I’m in a much better mood. Well, that and my coffee. I meet with Samantha and we get to work on some potential proposals. We meet with Greg and Alan in the conference room and make plans on how we’ll present everything to the company. I sit back and watch the way Samantha carries her own among the men, she’s doing an excellent job. We work right through lunch and call it a day at around four. As I’m walking out of the building I call Joey, time to work it out with him.

  “Ang.”

  “Jo.”

  “Jo?”

  “Yeah, I know it doesn’t work. How are you?”

  “I’ve been better. How are you?”

  “I’m doing swell. I’m hungry, though. Want to grab an early dinner?” I ask.

  “I’m game, happy hour at the Mexican food place down the street from me?”

  “Sounds good, I’ll be there in fifteen.”

  “See you there.”

  Hailing a cab, I sit back and watch the city speed by. The weather is perfect. It’s so cold the snow will likely come any day now. Rodger loved the snow so much. I bought him snow boots one year and God did he hate them. He looked so adorable, though, it was worth it for the pictures I managed to get. It’s nice to think about him now and not cry. I miss him like crazy, but I am glad I at least got the time I did with him. Having been so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t realize we were pulling up at the restaurant. I see Joey looking dapper standing outside waiting for me. Waving when he sees me, he comes to open my door and he hands a twenty at the cabbie.

  “Thank you, kind sir.”

  “You’re welcome, ma’am.” I slap him on the arm, he knows I hate that word.

  We walk arm in arm into the restaurant.

  We order our meals and a pitcher of margaritas, and while we wait we eat chips and salsa. Joey seems out of it, so much has happened thanks to his wretched mom, I hope he can snap out of it.

  “Look Ang, before we get into it I want you to know I’m sorry for being an asshole. I had a lot of shit hit the fan all at once and I freaked the fuck out. I’ve made some mistakes that I wish I could take back but, unfortunately, the world isn’t so kind.” He takes a few gulps of his margarita. “I told Liam I slept with that slut and now he won’t speak to me. I deserve it. I don’t even know why I slept with her. I don’t find her attractive in the least and she’s fucking rude beyond words. It’s almost like I knew it would ruin the one good thing I had so I did it, I ruined it before someone else could ruin it for me.” He won’t make eye contact with me, I know he’s just venting more for himsel
f than for me, so I sit back and just listen. “I really like him, Ang. Out of everything that’s going wrong right now, he’s what I’m most hurt about. I don’t care about my fucking joke of a mother, I don’t care about the canvas art, nothing. I’m mad I hurt him. That’s the real kicker too. I hurt him, no one else. Just me.” He raises his glass to me. “Cheers to the royal fuck up that I am. Also to my cunt of a mother for trying to ruin me.” I shake my head but raise my glass to his.

  “If Liam means that much to you Joey then you need to fight for him. Telling him you fucked up is one thing, showing him how remorseful you are and that you will do anything to right your wrong is another.” I reach for his hand across the table and give it a squeeze. “You’ve got to fix this baby boy, you deserve happiness and maybe he’s that happiness you need.”

  The waiter brings us our entrees and we both barely pick at it, our minds elsewhere.

  “JoJo, this too shall pass. Have faith things will get better, I promise.”

  “You can’t promise me that, Ang,” he replies.

  “No, I can’t, but in the grand scheme of things this is just a blip on the radar. Things could always be worse. You’re not sick or dying, you’re not homeless or poor. You’ve got so much more to be thankful for, don’t forget that.”

  “Why are you being so nice to me after how I treated you?” he asks.

  “Come on, you know we do this shit to each other. Was I not the one being a bitch not too long ago? We are diva’s it’s what we do. It’s why we are so good together, we alternate who’s going to be the bigger drama queen each day,” I say to him with a giggle.

  “It’s true. You can be a royal pain in my fine ass.” He winks at me.

  “There's my JoJo. Now let’s eat, drink, and be merry shall we?”

  “We shall.”

  With that, the tension is gone and my best friend is back. We enjoy our meal and sip our margaritas. We talk about his modeling and how he has a shoot in Texas right before Christmas. It’s perfect timing because I can go with him and we’ll go to the ranch afterward. We discuss Thanksgiving plans. We decide on dinner at my place, and he asks if he could bring Sammy his best friend and possibly Liam. Of course, it’s fine I tell him and mention that I’ll ask Blake what his plans are. We go over the menu a little, him making demands on which pies I am to make for dessert—we both agree to call Betty and have her send us some. After dinner, Joey hails me a taxi and we say our goodbyes. My taxi ride home is short and I’m putting my purse on the hall table when I hear my phone ring. The ringtone says it all, it’s Blake.