Divided Heart

by Patti Larsen

  Her teeth ground together with a squeaking sound. “As you wish. But.”

  I nodded. “But. If they try anything, we don’t hesitate to kill them both.”

  Charlotte’s answering smile could have lit up a room.

  ***

  Chapter Nine

  The moment I entered the lecture theater, my eyes settled on the Dumont brothers. Great, was I destined to spend every damned class with the pair of irritating fleas? Clearly that was the case. The only thing I could do at this point was ignore them.

  As my gaze drifted over the gathering students, I caught sight of another familiar face. The half-smile and wave I began froze in place as Sashenka’s eyes flickered away from me. She slunk down in her seat a little, not looking my way at all, though I knew she’d seen me. Lovely, just lovely. Whatever I’d done to make her hate me wasn’t going away. And since she obviously didn’t want me around, I’d have to do something about our little living arrangement. As much as I hated the thought of defeat, of having to ask Mom to change my roommate, there was no way I was spending the entire year with someone who didn’t want me around.

  Since Sashenka would prefer I didn’t sit with her or even acknowledge I knew her, I slid into a lower row closer to the front, one where no one else was sitting, found the center of it and planted myself with resolve. The new and improved Syd didn’t need anyone, thanks. Sashenka Hensley could take a flying leap for all I cared. I had everyone and everything I needed and some coven’s second daughter shunning of me wasn’t about to get me down.

  Surprise, surprise, I was alone by the time the main door closed and our teacher strode down to the front of the class. I looked down at my notebook, refusing to let any of this get to me. I was a Hayle, damn it. So what if no one wanted to sit with me? So what if no one liked me? I was a good person, a powerful witch, co-leader of my coven. Yes, I was alone, but I could handle it. All those years of being the odd one out was to strengthen me, to teach me to be self-sufficient. There was no one to come to my rescue. I had to do my own rescuing.

  Besides, loneliness was going to come with the territory of being full leader someday. Look at Mom, carrying the weight of the Council on her shoulders. Not like Dad was around much now that he was a Demon Prince of the Second Plane. And she couldn’t very well confide in my little sister. Though I did regret the loss of Sassafras to the pair of them. He would have whipped me into instant shape with a sharp tongue-lashing.

  There was always Gram, too. I had her in my head 24/7. My demon. Shaylee. Silly Syd. I was the least alone person I knew.

  I could hear the brothers whispering, laughing, but they didn’t bother me anymore. In fact, I felt my heart swell open, new confidence rising. I could handle it. More than handle it, I was born for it. I could do anything, had conquered more things in my short eighteen years than those sniping brothers or my ungrateful roommate or any other witch in this room had ever endured. Let’s see them survive an attack on their coven, being burned at the stake, rescuing a vampire from a virus devouring him, save their mother from certain death.

  Yeah, let’s just.

  The main door swished open then shut again as the teacher turned to face us, his round face looking bored, voice a dull monotone. I ignored the latecomer, basking in my new resolve, soaking up my internal power until my demon hummed in happiness and Shaylee preened at how amazing we all were. I was well aware this was only a tactic, a protection mechanism, but I needed it right now and wasn’t about to turn away the tools I had on hand to survive.

  Whoever joined us late took a seat right next to me. I steadfastly refused to turn my head, keeping myself to myself, a little rigid, hoping the other witch would just back off. After all, the whole row was empty. Did he have to sit next to me?

  It was a he, I could tell from the size of his knees out of the corner of my eye, catching sight of the faded denim of his jeans. There was a familiar aroma about him, a mix of earth and fabric softener. But it wasn’t until his hand reached over and touched mine that I gasped and understood.

  Green magic snaked between us, the surge of Sidhe power drawing my head around. Liam smiled at me, his hazel eyes sparkling with green flecks as he bent forward so we were gaze-to-gaze.

  “Hey, Syd,” he whispered. “What did I miss?”

  ***

  Chapter Ten

  Okay, so all of that “I can do it on my own, I’m amazing” crap? Yeah, well, that all went out the window the moment I looked into Liam’s eyes. My throat tightened instantly as I grasped his hand and found myself beaming at him.

  “Hey, Liam,” I whispered back, body vibrating with the sudden surge of joy I felt at seeing him again. “Not much.”

  Yes, it had only been a day or so since we parted ways, but for some reason it felt like forever. It was only then I understood how much I relied on my Gatekeeper friend, how much his friendship meant to me. Liam was my rock, my utterly loyal and unjudgmental rock who didn’t care what I did or how I looked or acted. He loved me anyway.

  I wanted to hug him, to squeal in happiness and hang onto him, but the teacher, Walden Bradford, was glaring so I was forced to sit back and face the front of the room, though it was impossible to wipe the grin from my face and there was no way I was letting Liam’s hand go.

  He didn’t fight me so I figured he was as happy to see me as I was to see him.

  Walden droned on and on for what felt like hours about the world of Witchcraft, all the monsters, creatures and different families and types of magic we’d be learning about this year. He might as well have been reciting the phone book for all I paid attention. By the time he was done and the door swung open, I was so wound up I spun in my chair and hugged Liam where he sat. He laughed into my hair, hugging me back, the warmth and earthiness making everything all right again. We sat there while the rest of the students piled out, grinning at each other like idiots.

  “What are you doing here?” I punched his knee with my free hand. “I thought you had to stay and guard the Gate?” Liam’s family had been responsible for guarding over the Sidhe gate in Wilding Springs for generations. And since he was the last O’Dane, his was a very important job. Without him, when the yearly knock of the Sidhe came to call, without a Gatekeeper to answer it, the whole of both of the Seelie and Unseelie courts would be free to return to our world.

  We’d had a taste of that already and I wasn’t really ready for another.

  Liam shrugged, a long, slow motion rippling over his wide shoulders and making his white t-shirt bunch over his chest. “Ethpeal and Miriam convinced me to come to school,” he said in his deep voice. I’d missed that voice. “I’ve known for a few weeks, but I really wanted to surprise you.” His teeth flashed against his tanned skin, so much good humor in his eyes I couldn’t be angry with him for not keeping me in the know. “It was so hard to keep the secret.”

  I jabbed him with the point of my pen before relenting. “So you left Galleytrot on guard? But didn’t we test trying to go into the cavern without you and no luck?”

  An experiment from the summer, to see if it would accept anyone else. Didn’t like me, apparently. Galleytrot either, at least at the time. Which meant Liam was stuck.

  Had been.

  Liam nodded. “We weren’t sure it would work,” he said. “I infused him with some of my magic. It didn’t want to go to him, I’ll tell you.” He shuddered. “Felt like I was leaving part of myself behind. But we both adapted. And so far, it’s worth it.” Hazel eyes warmed further, drawing me in.

  Liam was here. How cool was that?

  “Galleytrot can let me know if anything happens,” he went on. “Besides, the knock already came this year, so there’s not much to do besides study.” Liam tapped his books with one big hand. “And I can do that here. Besides, I have this friend. She can get me home pretty quick if I need to go.”

  He sure did.

  I finally gained my feet, Liam towering over me like a tall, young oak tree. Everything about him reminded me of spring a
nd growing things and the earth. I waited until we’d cleared the seats before turning and hugging him as hard as I could, my nose pressed to the delicious scent of his shirt. Liam hugged me back, cheek resting on my hair and I couldn’t help but sigh in joy.

  I opened my eyes, unable to censor the happy smile on my face, only to spot Quaid watching us.

  Quaid! My body took over, leaping away from Liam and surging toward his dark yumminess, nothing else even crossing my mind but to get to him and feel his body against me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hands sliding into his hair as I pulled him tightly to me and pressed my lips into his ear.

  “Quaid,” I whispered, feeling his body shudder as my breath trailed over his skin. But he didn’t hug me back, holding himself stiff until I pulled away, happiness fading as I leaned back and looked up into his eyes. Was he okay? Had something happened? My concern, fear even, was met with something I hadn’t expected, but should have.

  He wasn’t looking at me. Nope. Quaid instead glared right at Liam. And my handsome Sidhe friend stared right back.

  Oh, just flipping wonderful. I jerked free of the delicious guy I was in love with and snapped my fingers in front of his nose, forcing him to break his stare and meet my eyes. Dark, almost black, they flashed with jealousy, so much my anger surged to replace the joy I’d felt at finally seeing him again. Even my demon, usually uncontrollable when it came to him, snarled in anger.

  “Nice,” I snapped at him. “I haven’t seen you in months, you avoid me ever since you get here and when we finally get to see each other, what do you do? Pull the jealous card.” I spun to point at Liam. “As it happens, I’ve been alone since I arrived. Get me?” I pushed against Quaid’s hard stomach, feeling how tense he still was. “Liam just got here too. So you can read anything you want into what you just saw, but you can do it without my input.”

  Liam’s voice rumbled from deep inside him as he spoke, hazel eyes more green than ever, flashing Sidhe fire, whole body tense and threatening. “At least someone was here for her.”

  I turned to storm off, but my anger wouldn’t let me just yet. “And you,” I shot at Liam. “Get a freaking grip already. Quaid isn’t out to hurt me, so you can drop the Mr. Protective act. I’m quite capable of taking care of myself.”

  Liam looked away, broad shoulders slumping. “Sorry, Syd.”

  But Quaid didn’t say anything, not one word, his smoldering gaze locked on me as if he blamed me for something. The hell he did. No way was he judging me, not when he abandoned me the way he had. Not when my friend seemed to care about me more than my so-called boyfriend. Here I was, anticipating seeing him for what felt like forever, with only emails, Skype and the occasional mental connection to keep me going and what does he do? Does his best to avoid me, or so it felt like and then when he finally showed up turns into a total jerk.

  Not the sweet reunion I’d been hoping for.

  “Grow up, Quaid” I snapped. “When you finally find time to come say hi without being a jerk, you know where to find me. I may or may not be there.”

  Zing. Okay, done. I turned and marched off, head high, Charlotte right behind me, leaving the two of them to work it out. I was so over the pair of them not getting along.

  Sadness tried to creep in, but I wasn’t having any. I’d waited all freaking summer to see Quaid. We’d been through so much in the last two years, were pushed to our limits, both of us, finally having the chance to be together. And hadn’t he left me? Yeah. A bunch of times. Maybe it was time for me to reconsider my boyfriend choice.

  Not even my pissed-off demon was buying that one as my heart contracted at the very thought. This incredible pull I felt for him, as though the fates themselves had locked us together, simply wouldn’t let me go. And even as I stomped off in a hissy fit, my soul begged me for Quaid.

  Stupid fates. They could kiss my behind.

  I stormed out the magicked door and into the main lobby of the library. Where to go? I couldn’t go to my room, not yet. Not to Sashenka. Like I needed more problems. And going there meant Quaid would have an easier time finding me. Nope. He’d have to work for it, damn him. Instead, I followed a flow of students moving deeper into the library, hoping for a quiet corner and some time to stew.

  Instead, I spotted two faces sitting at a near-by table and headed their way, hoping some time with Rupe and Simon would take my mind off the mess of my life.

  “Hey, Syd.” Rupe’s grin was more welcome than seeing Liam or Quaid, without an agenda, just normal. I smiled back and sat with them, letting my bag thud to the tabletop.

  “Hey, guys.” I sat back, arms crossed over my chest. “Hope you two had a better first day than I did.”

  Simon’s steady blinking was mesmerizing and kind of gave me a twitch. But he was my friend and had always been quirky so I let it go.

  “Had a great day.” Simon patted his calculus book with the arrogant smile I didn’t like. “Piece of cake.”

  Rupe rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, I think Simon will be tutoring me all year, but it’ll be okay.”

  Simon snorted softly. “If I have time,” he said, eyebrows arching as if he was better than us all of a sudden. What the hell happened to my sweet young friend? Darin’s face popped into my head and I found myself fighting a scowl.

  “Something keeping you busy?” If Simon was involved with witches, it couldn’t be for good reasons. I was keenly aware my friend could be getting himself into something he just wouldn’t be able to handle. And while I didn’t know Darin personally, I knew the type.

  The Dumont type. I’d have to check into his family’s loyalties and see if he was from a line of trouble or just a single troublemaker.

  “I’m working on some things,” Simon said before hunching down with a grin telling me the guy I cared about was still safe and sound inside him. “It’s so cool, you guys.”

  Rupe jabbed him gently while I dropped my arms and leaned in. “Spill it, kiddo.”

  I really wanted him to, but I was glad Rupe did the asking. Yes, Simon was normal, but I couldn’t be seen to be interfering with another coven.

  “You know there aren’t any fraternities here, right?” Simon looked back and forth between us like it was some big secret.

  “That’s right,” Rupe said. “Harvard doesn’t allow them.”

  “But there are clubs,” Simon said. “Final clubs they’re called. And my friend Darin is part of one.” Simon sat back with a big grin, like he was the king of the world. “The Star Club. And he’s invited me to join.”

  Huge warning bells went off in my head. There’s no way someone like Simon would be invited to a Final Club. For one, his family wasn’t rich. He was here on a full scholarship because he was brilliant. And besides, if Darin was a member, it’s likely the club was only for witches. Star Club. Pentagram. Yeah, how freaking obvious could they get?

  Rupe seemed impressed, though. “Cool,” he said. “Think I could join? Be a great way to meet people.”

  Simon’s lip turned up into a tiny sneer. “Maybe,” he said. “I’ll talk to Darin to see if you have the right material to be a Star.”

  So this was what was turning Simon into a jerk. The idea he was special. What kind of bull was Darin shoveling into him to make him act this way? I shuddered as I thought about it. I’d spent my whole life wanting to be normal. But for a boy like him, growing up brilliant but nerdy, never fitting in anywhere, the idea he could stand out, be part of something like a Final Club, no matter the cost to his ego or what he had to do to get in... I had to look in to this further.

  “Wow, a club.” I found myself grinning. “Do they have a secret handshake?”

  Simon’s sneer faded. “What?”

  I winked at Rupe. “How about a decoder ring? A decoder ring would be way cool.” If only I could get Simon to realize what he was involved in, to laugh about it a little. Even if Darin and the Star Club were legit, Simon was a genius and wonderful just the way he was. Anyone who wanted to convert him into a jerk
wasn’t okay in my books.

  My attempt to make him poke fun at himself and his new friends fell, shall we say, very flat. Instead of finding it funny, his face scrunched into an angry scowl.

  “You have no idea who you are mocking,” he snarled. “The Star Club is the elite of the elite and you’re just jealous they want me.” Simon stood, grasping his books to his skinny chest before stalking off in a snit.

  I met Rupe’s eyes, feeling suddenly sick and wishing I’d gone about it in another way. “Am I the only one who’s worried about him?”

  Rupe’s gaze followed Simon before returning to me. “No,” he said at last. “Darin’s got him wrapped up, I saw that much. But who are we to tell Simon what he can’t do?”

  I nodded, glum and feeling like I’d stumbled from one disaster to another all day. If only I could crawl under the covers and forget any of this happened. But Sashenka was likely back in our room and I just couldn’t bring myself to face her.

  My eyes caught movement across the library and I spotted a familiar face. I was suddenly on my feet, waving and grinning to Mia who drifted over, her black-rimmed eyes locked on Rupe.

  He stood, turning to her, a slow smile spreading over his face. Neither said a word as he opened his arms and Mia stepped into them.

  Clearly no longer welcome, I turned, grinning my face off, and left them to get reacquainted, feeling at last like something had gone right.

  ***

  Chapter Eleven

  I had no choice. I had to go to my room eventually. With Charlotte ever my silent bodyguard, I drifted across the Yard toward the dorm, walking slower and slower with each step as dread tried to keep me from finishing the trip.

  “Miss Hayle.” I turned, grateful for the distraction, to face a smiling young man in a crisp black uniform. I recognized him, though couldn’t place from where. It wasn’t until he handed me a sheet of paper the same color as his outfit, reddish curls as round as his cheeks, that I made the connection.