She's Far From Hollywood

by Jo McNally

  She laughed. It was a deep, throaty, whiskey laugh, and his pulse leaped at the sound of it. Then he thought about what he’d just said. He relaxed his grip just a bit, not willing to let her go, but never wanting to cause her pain.

  “What we did...did I hurt you?” He lifted his head to look at her. He recalled digging his fingers into her soft flesh and demanding her compliance. He’d probably left bruises. She raised her green eyes to meet his gaze then gave him a typical Bree smirk.

  “I think we both got exactly what we wanted, don’t you? By the way, how’s your back?”

  He rubbed his back against the mattress. Yeah, he was pretty sure she drew blood with those fingernails. “Feels damned good to me.”

  She gave that deep laugh again and he let it wash over him for just a moment. But there were things they needed to discuss. He needed to control expectations. He didn’t want any woman clinging to him, thinking he was—shudder—boyfriend material.

  “Bree...about what just happened...” He cleared his throat, trying to say the right thing and not hurt her feelings. “It was probably a...”

  “I swear to God if you say the word mistake, I will make sure your balls never leave this room. I will remove them from your body by hand.”

  And then he was laughing. Out loud. Again. What was this woman doing to him? She raised her head, surprised.

  “You have the best laugh. You really need to do it more often. If I knew all it took was the threat of castration...”

  “Stop it, for God’s sake!” He was still chuckling. “Enough! I wasn’t going to come anywhere close to calling tonight a mistake, so stow your fingernails, Hollywood.” He took a deep breath. What was he going to say? Oh, yeah. Expectations. “You were amazing. I just don’t want you to think that...you know...that things will change when tomorrow rolls around.”

  “Are you telling me that when the sun comes up, you’re still going to be a jackass?”

  He laughed again. “I can pretty much guarantee it, honey. Did you think you’d cured me?”

  She gave him an exaggerated shrug of her shoulder. “A girl can always dream.”

  This woman just slayed him. He couldn’t resist any longer and rolled over so that she was on her back and he was propped up above her on one elbow. He leaned down and kissed her smiling lips lightly.

  “If anyone could do it, you could.” He grew serious. “But I don’t want to hurt you, Bree. Don’t expect...”

  She put her fingers over his lips and sighed. “Do you always talk this much after sex? I get it. Incurable jackass. And I’m still the same spoiled Malibu diva I was before. I’ll be back in LA soon enough. I’m a big girl, and I get it. So relax, okay?”

  He nodded and kissed her fingertips without saying anything. It made no sense how much he hated to think of her leaving. She slid her hand to the side of his head, tenderly working her fingers into his hair. Her serious expression faded back to a mischievous smile.

  “Since we both agree we’ll go back to our evil ways in the morning, I think we should take advantage of the remaining hours of darkness, don’t you?” The thunderstorm was fading into the distance. The storm inside him was just getting started.

  He had a fleeting worry that more of Bree Mathews might be more than he could handle emotionally. But there was no way he was turning her down.

  His hands shifted her body underneath him, and his mouth fell on hers, claiming her again. He lifted his head and gave her what felt like a face-splitting grin. His smile muscles were seriously out of shape. “It’s a deal. For the rest of the night, nothing else matters but what we do right here in this bed. And oh, baby, what we’re going to do...”

  They spent the next few hours exploring each other. Kissing, stroking, nibbling, giggling, loving, sighing, cursing, laughing, and both, at one point or another, crying. Cole kissed tears from Bree’s cheeks as he brought her to sweet oblivion again and again. He nearly lost his mind with the loving of her. No...with the love-making. He was so grateful for the simple act of being able to feel, not only with his lips and his fingers, but also with his heart. His own tears spilled over when she finally fell into exhausted sleep in his arms, and he was thankful for the darkness. He was lost in her. He was lost to her. He never wanted to see the sun come up again.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  THE RED LED numbers on the alarm clock were blurry at first, but Bree forced her eyes to focus and saw that it was just before five in the morning. She was in Cole Caldwell’s bed. And she was alone. The coolness of his pillow told her he’d been gone a while. Her body ached in the sweetest way. She smiled into the dark, empty room. Who knew sex could be that good? No, it wasn’t just sex...well, some of it was. But mostly it was lovemaking of the highest degree. Intimate and hot and dirty and beautiful. And in between, they’d talked at length about random things like favorite foods and movies. It felt so natural to be in his arms. She stretched and stood. It was still dark outside, which meant they had time to share before turning into pumpkins in the light of the day.

  His T-shirt was hanging on the footboard post, and she slipped it over her head, inhaling his earthy scent. It barely covered her bottom, but she was hoping she wasn’t going very far. Or keeping it on for very long. As tired as she was, she wanted more of him.

  She found him on the balcony above the front porch, stretched out on a wicker chaise, staring toward the horizon, which was just beginning to blush pink. He wore only cargo shorts, unzipped and hanging low on his hips. Maggie was lying on the floor nearby, and her tail moved in a tiny wag when she spotted Bree in the doorway. Without moving his head, Cole spoke.

  “You should be sleeping.”

  “So should you.” She pushed the screen door open and walked over to him. His jaw tightened when he saw what she was wearing. The heat from his gaze started with her bare legs and rose all the way up to her face. She gave him a crooked smile. “This flowered chaise lounge doesn’t really look like something you’d buy.”

  He grunted in typical Cole style. “It was a gift from Nell. I spent a lot of nights out here on an old fold-up vinyl chair, and she thought this would be more comfortable.” He shifted to the side. “Are you going to stand there and critique my decorating skills, or are you going to set yourself down and join me?”

  “Such a romantic.” She sat carefully to keep the T-shirt anchored at her thighs, then leaned back and nestled her head on his tattooed shoulder.

  “Why do you sleep outside?”

  “I just do.” His tone was sharp. He worked his fingers up and down her back, and his next words were softer. “It’s a combat thing. Shelter isn’t necessarily good. You don’t hear things indoors. Your options are limited. You can end up trapped. I tried to sleep outdoors whenever I could when I was over there, and I still have times when I feel safer outside.”

  “Safer from me?”

  “If that was the plan, it clearly didn’t work, did it?” He gave her a quick squeeze.

  She liked this version of Cole. Honest. Open. Just a little bit playful. Would this man really disappear when the night faded into morning? She rubbed her cheek against his skin and felt the bumps of his scars.

  “You got the tattoo to hide the scarring?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And the scars are from...?”

  Silence. His fingers were still moving across her skin. Back and forth like a metronome. She was just about to apologize for asking when he finally started to speak.

  “Our vehicle was hit by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan. It flipped and caught fire. Those armored vehicles are built for protection, not for easy exits. The doors are small, and once a fire starts inside, there are only seconds to escape. I was near a hatch, so I was able to get out. I was burned when I reached back in to help...”

  She was at a loss as to what to say. “Did you get them out?”
>
  His fingers continued their path across her back, over and over.

  “Not all of them. And the ones who did...”

  His voice trailed off, and she knew he was back there in his mind, seeing flames. Hearing God knows what. She waited, knowing there was nothing she could say to help him.

  “It was an ambush. They were waiting to shoot at us after the bomb went off. So the ones I pulled out...were shot at anyway. I got these burns for nothing.”

  “No one else survived?”

  “Two besides me. And Maggie. Three died, including Scott, her handler.”

  “But you saved two, Cole. And you’re alive. I’m glad you’re alive.”

  His hand stopped moving. He started to say something then stopped. It was time for her to change the subject.

  “The sun will be up soon.”

  “Yup.”

  His fingers began moving again, now randomly tracing circles across her back.

  “What happens then?” She lifted her chin and rested it on his chest, looking at his very serious face.

  He stared back at her, and she could see him struggling. She waited.

  “Tonight was insanely good, Bree. But it was also just plain insane. You and I are not a good idea.”

  “So this was just a moment out of time? Do we have to go back to our antagonizing ways and pretend it never happened?”

  “A moment out of time.” He sighed. “Everything in me is telling me to say yes, let’s pretend it never happened. I know that’s the smart thing to do.” His hand slid down her back to cover her behind. His fingers moved, and she felt the T-shirt being pulled higher. “But my body’s not done with you yet, Brianna. If you keep showing up at my door, I’m gonna keep pulling you inside. I’ll bury myself in you every night if you’ll let me, because I’m a man, and I’m not a total idiot.”

  He kissed her forehead gently.

  “But it won’t change anything in the long run. I’m bad for you. I’m bad for everyone. That story I told doesn’t begin to cover how or why I’m so screwed up. That day wasn’t the worst of what I’ve seen. It was just the last in a long list of terrible things. I have a hot temper and it has a hair trigger. I have some really dark days when I can’t be around people. I have pain that even you can’t take away. I’ll say things and I’ll do things that will hurt you. Not physically, but I will hurt you. And I don’t know if I’ll be able to cope with that when it happens.”

  His hand was resting on her bare bottom now, and he gave a gentle squeeze.

  “You should be walking away from me right now, Bree. I don’t want you to, but you should be walking away.”

  They stared at each other silently. She didn’t doubt the truth of what he said. He could hurt her. He might even break her heart beyond repair. But she saw in his eyes what he couldn’t say. He needed her. And she wasn’t going anywhere.

  She raised her hand and rested it on his cheek. He leaned into it just as he had last night. Was she strong enough to tame the beast inside him? She shifted and moved her body to straddle his. His eyes narrowed, but he smiled.

  “Whatcha’ doin’, Hollywood?”

  “The sun’s technically not up yet, Plowboy. And I’m not done with you...” She lowered her lips onto his and felt his hands lifting his shirt higher around her waist while they kissed. He raised his hips so she could lower his shorts then mumbled something and gripped her hips to stop her.

  “Condom...”

  “I haven’t been with anyone since Damian, and I’m still on birth control.” She kissed his lips lightly. “You know, just in case.”

  “Just in case, huh?” He returned her kiss. “I haven’t been very active myself, and always careful. You’re the only one who can make me lose my common sense.”

  As she lowered her body onto his, his lips parted and he groaned. She had the power to do this to him, and it was a wonderful thing. He shifted so he was sitting more upright, and they were face-to-face when they started moving together, skin to delicious skin. Her muscles were protesting, but that was soon forgotten in the heat of the moment, and it wasn’t long before he had her flying again, crying out his name and collapsing with her arms around his neck. He held her there as they both tried to regain control of their breathing and heart rates. She closed her eyes to the sound of his voice whispering her name, and the touch of his fingers in her hair.

  The sun was very definitely up when she woke again, lying in Cole’s empty bed. She had a hazy memory of him carrying her inside. She stretched and smiled, looking at the clock. It was after eight. She felt like someone had taken a delightful but persistent sledgehammer to her body from head to toe. She stood and slid his T-shirt back on, deciding it may have just become her favorite attire. But she did pull her panties on this time before heading downstairs.

  The house was empty. No Cole. No Maggie. She looked across the road to Nell’s place and smiled. His black truck was there, and the horses were out in the paddock. He’d gone to do her chores. She gave herself a quick, contented hug and headed into the kitchen. She’d repay him with breakfast. His kitchen was well stocked, and it wasn’t long before she had bacon frying, coffee brewing and French toast on the griddle. Through the window over the sink, she saw his truck pull around to the back of the house. She was singing “This Girl Is on Fire” to herself and really started to belt it out when she got to the chorus. She heard the screen door slam and grinned. What would Cole think about finding her dancing around his kitchen in his T-shirt?

  But it wasn’t his voice that rang out from the living room. “Yo, Cole! I need a hand with some new equipment at the bar. Can you give me an hour or so this morn...”

  Ty slid to a halt at the entrance to the kitchen. Bree froze with the spatula in her hand, feeling her face go twenty shades of crimson.

  “Holy shit.” Ty blinked then blinked again and glanced away when she reached down to tug the T-shirt over her bare thighs. He grinned as he stared at the floor. “Good morning, Brianna.”

  Before she could form coherent words, Cole came into the kitchen through the back door. He glanced from her to his brother and smirked. “You might want to try knocking, Ty.” He slid his arm around her waist, pulling her close. “Smells great in here. Got enough for my brother?”

  She sputtered, and he clarified his question. “Got enough breakfast, that is. That’s the only thing I’m sharing.” He looked at Ty, who was staring stupidly at the two of them, as if he’d never seen Cole with a woman in his home before. She felt a flush of pride as she realized he probably hadn’t. At least not in a long time.

  “We have plenty of food, but I’m not exactly dressed for company.” She handed the spatula to Cole. “Can you take over while I run upstairs?”

  “Upstairs?” Ty repeated. She blushed again, and Cole laughed out loud. Ty stepped back at the sound and stared at his brother as if he was a science experiment of some kind. Cole shrugged at him.

  “What? You thought I’d shag her on the living room floor instead of my much more comfortable bed?” She smacked him in the stomach and he laughed again. Ty seemed frozen in shock at this point.

  “Turn around, Ty, so Hollywood can go fetch her clothes with at least a little dignity.”

  Was it really necessary to emphasize yet again that she’d slept in his room last night? She shook her head. There was something appealingly caveman about his boasting.

  “Turn around? Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry, Bree.” Ty turned to face the wall opposite the stairs.

  She ran past him and up to Cole’s room to dress. He’d destroyed her bra last night, so she’d have to go without. She grabbed a cotton shirt from Cole’s closet and pulled it on over her tank top, tying it at her waist above her denim shorts. It gave her a little more camouflage on top so she wouldn’t be flashing her boobs at his brother. Her cheeks warmed. Cole still seemed to
be in a playful mood. Maybe the sunshine wouldn’t ruin them after all. She hummed to herself as she headed downstairs.

  Then again, she should have known it wouldn’t last. His eyes were stormy gray when they met hers as she joined them at the well-worn kitchen table. She smiled at him, but he just shook his head and went back to attacking his breakfast. Ty washed down a forkful of French toast with coffee before looking at her sheepishly and mouthing, Sorry.

  Bree started her breakfast in silence, hoping the awkward moment would pass. But finally, she couldn’t take the drastic switch in mood any longer.

  “Okay, what did I miss?” She asked the question brightly, hoping to lighten the tension.

  It was Ty who answered. “I was just telling Cole about your generous gift to the bar and asked him for help hooking up the new sound system.” So he was angry because she’d hooked Ty up with a karaoke system? She’d forgotten all about giving that phone number to Tammy last week to pass along to Ty.

  “It seemed the least I could do to repay your kindness, Ty. Helping with the car. Tammy and Emily being so great with getting me new clothes and a new look. Tammy mentioned you were saving up for one, so I made a few calls, that’s all. Do you like your breakfast, Cole?”

  He raised his head and she was stung to see that flat look in his eyes. “It’s fine.”

  Ty chuckled affectionately as he grabbed the last slice of bacon. “Cole, don’t be an idiot. It’s delicious and you know it. The sound system isn’t some charity donation. Bree just set us up with a supplier who sold it for less than wholesale as a favor to her. Why are you so ticked off about it?”

  “Yeah, Cole. Why are you so ticked off?” She arched a brow in his direction. He glared back at her.

  “It feels like charity. The rich starlet comes to the poor little country town and starts throwing money around to win friends...”

  “Wow.” Before Ty could say more, Bree leaped to her feet, sending her chair scraping across the wooden floor.

  “Is that really what you think? That I’m buying friendship? A few dollars for Ty and his family? Farm chores to win over Nell? And what about you? All I had to do was spread my legs and we were friends for a few hours, right?”