Unveiling Chaos

by Allison,Jeannine

  …

  My eyes roamed over the list of law schools I’d applied to and when the expected turnaround time for acceptance letters was. Gnawing on my thumbnail, I shut the computer and slumped back in one of the two love seats we had in our living room. It did absolutely no good to obsess. I was in my final semester of my undergraduate career, had finished my LSATs and applied to law schools last fall. All that was left was to wait. But I did not wait well. Especially when the one school I’d always wanted to attend—Yale—was one of the hardest in the country to get into.

  So not only was I minus a boyfriend, but I also didn’t have much schoolwork to focus on. And then there was the fact that my mother was back in the picture…

  Nope, not going there right now.

  What I did have was a lot of freaking free time. It left more time for me to knit, which should have been a good thing considering I had a ton of back orders to fill. In lieu of having a “real person job” (as Derek called it), I had an Etsy shop that I sold knitted materials through. I really should have been rejoicing at the extra time, but there were only so many things I could knit before I started to feel stir-crazy. It also did nothing for my racing thoughts; knitting had become second nature to me and I couldn’t shut off my mind any more than if I had just been sitting there.

  “I think we need to go out,” I announced as I looked at Alara who was sitting on our other couch, mindlessly channel surfing. She turned off the TV and dropped the remote in her lap before turning my way.

  “So now that you’ve finished applying you’re gonna wanna go out all the time?” she asked.

  “Heck yes. It’s my time to relax. I won’t be getting this chance ever again. I’m gonna live up these next few months.” I paused and looked at the time. Almost five o’clock. “Starting tonight.”

  She groaned. “Does it have to be with me?”

  I frowned. Alara had always been antisocial and after making so much progress last semester, when she went out more and had gotten a boyfriend, I guess there was no reason to force her to go out anymore. But I had really enjoyed her company last semester.

  “Not if you really don’t want to. I’ll call Sher.” I moved to stand up when her voice stopped me.

  “Wait.” I looked at her expectantly. “Are you sure nothing else is wrong?” she asked.

  I hesitated as Gabe’s words floated through my mind. I knew Alara would understand anything I told her, I knew she’d be supportive and help me through whatever I was going through. Whether it be dealing with Caleb or my mother…

  Welp… I guess I ended up going there.

  I looked at my roommate’s pleading expression and nearly caved. But no, I couldn’t. Derek and I agreed not to mention anything until we figured out what we were going to do. Worrying our friends with, “hey, our drug-addicted mother is trying to get in touch with us again,” didn’t really appeal to either of us, especially since Alara had been present for so much of our childhood.

  “I promise. I just want to go out and have some fun.” She looked skeptical and a little hurt I wasn’t confiding in her, so I blew out a breath and put on a look of contrition.

  “This thing with Caleb has just been kinda hard…” My roommate nodded like this conversation was long overdue. “But it’s just because it’s an adjustment. I’m used to having him around. It’s just the change that’s hard.”

  “Some part of it has to be because he cheated on you. That can’t not hurt.” She looked like she felt sorry for me.

  “It did,” I told her honestly. “But I wasn’t lying when I said I was okay. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Now it’s just about adjusting, and I’m sick of sitting at home.” My tone had become more forceful than I meant it to. But this wasn’t helping, I needed to do something. All my thoughts were circling, just waiting for the right moment to swoop down and attack.

  I finally pushed up from the couch. “Look, don’t worry about it. I’ll just call Sher and see if she wants to go out.” I smiled to let her know I wasn’t mad and left the room before she could reply. The least I could do after partially lying to my best friend’s face was not force her to do something she severely disliked. She had warmed up to it a little, but now that she had Gabe she felt she had no reason to go out.

  I had just pulled my phone out when Alara came speeding into my room. “I’ll come with you.”

  “Seriously, it’s okay. I’ll ask—”

  “No,” she said firmly as she grabbed the phone out my hand. “You helped me out a lot when I needed it. I’m repaying the favor. You want to get your mind off Caleb, then we’ll go out.” I hated that she thought my helping her with her depression was something she had to repay. But I also knew how important it was for her to feel like she contributed to the friendship.

  I smiled, but the guilt still weighed on me, forcing me to say, “It’s really okay. There’s no sense in making you do something you hate, especially if it happens to be something Sher loves.”

  My roommate rolled her eyes. “I could never hate it if you’re there.”

  “Aw, how sweet.” I fluttered my eyelashes and theatrically put a hand over my heart.

  “I know. I try.” Her face grew serious as she stepped a little closer. “Seriously, give me ten minutes and we can go.”

  “Okay. Thanks.” I reached out and gave her a quick hug before pulling back and smiling. “But I’m definitely going to need more than ten minutes.”

  …

  After gathering my dark hair into a bun on the top of my head and teasing my bangs, I gingerly touched my week-old piercing. I had managed to keep it fairly clean even though it was a pain in the ass. Every time I accidentally touched it my pain receptors begged me to not be such an idiot. And every single time that happened (which was three times a day, FYI) it led me to thinking about getting the piercing, which led me to thinking about… the douche.

  Yes, I was still thinking about him.

  And I was hating myself for it.

  But tonight that would stop. I’d go out, have a good time with my best friend, and there’d be no more thoughts about a tattooed, blond-haired, blue-eyed Adonis.

  “You all set?” Alara called from the common area.

  “Yep.”

  Twenty minutes later we were walking through the doors of the newest nightclub in town, Swerved. It was our first time here, so we slowly took in our surroundings before making our way to the bar.

  “What do you want?” I asked Alara as I planned out my entry to the counter.

  “Uhh… just a water… and a beer.” I turned to face her but she was distracted by the entrance.

  “I guess Gabe’s joining us?”

  Her head whipped toward me but her blonde ballerina bun didn’t move an inch. “Is that okay?”

  “Of course it’s okay.” My gaze drifted over her shoulder. “He’s here,” I said, nodding toward the front door. “I’ll go get the drinks.” She didn’t object as she quickly hurried across the room while I made my way to the bar. I had just finished paying when they came up beside me.

  “I’ll grab those,” Gabe offered with an easy smile; Derek really couldn’t have found a better roommate. I handed his beer and Alara’s water over before the three of us made our way to a high-top a couple feet away. It was sticky and still littered with cocktail napkins, but the seats looked clean enough so I hopped up.

  “I appreciate you guys coming. I know it’s not either of your scenes.”

  Gabe looked over at Alara and lightly touched her cheek. “It’s no problem. Bars might actually be my favorite place in the world now.”

  Alara’s eyebrows rose as she gave him a sideways glance and suspiciously drawled, “Really?”

  I pretended to be fascinated with my glass, already several steps ahead of Alara. I could already hear the cheesy line.

  And in five, four, three, two, one…

  “Of course. It’s where I met you.” Gabe’s smile was proud as Alara grew flustered and gave him a quick peck on the l
ips. She hated public displays of affection, but she didn’t seem to realize the way they looked at each other was far more affectionate than any game of tonsil hockey they could play. She giggled as he tried to take the kiss deeper and I shook my head before standing.

  “I’m gonna grab another,” I said, holding up my already empty glass. “You guys good?”

  They both mumbled noncommittal answers as I walked away. I looked back to see Alara and Gabe lost in their own world and decided to take a seat at the bar and give them some alone time. Two drinks and a couple of awkward attempts from guys trying to pick me up later, and I was regretting my decision to stay up here.

  I was still sitting on my stool, swinging my legs, when I felt a palm against my backside. Surprisingly the hand wasn’t too low or overly grabby, it was just lightly settled against the middle of my back. When I turned around I realized why.

  “What are you doing?” Alara asked me as Gabe hovered behind her.

  “I told you.” I waved my hand toward the alcohol lining the wall. “I needed more.”

  Alara crossed her arms, trying to look intimidating. “Stop blowing us off and come back to the table.”

  I held up my hands as I slid down the stool and gracelessly landed on my feet. “Hey, I was just giving you guys some alone time. You know, in case you wanted to sneak away so you could blow something…” I nudged Alara with my elbow. Gabe’s beer came sputtering out of his mouth as he started laughing, while Alara’s face flamed to a shade brighter than a tomato. She glared as Gabe continued to laugh until he straightened up and kissed her forehead.

  “Sorry, it was funny.”

  “Hilarious,” she deadpanned before turning away from both of us.

  “It was. I’m wicked smart,” I said as I stepped away from the bar. I had only taken two steps when I saw an arm full of color out of the corner of my eye. My jaw dropped as I swiveled sideways and caught his profile.

  No.

  Way.

  I was unabashedly staring, a fact the female bartender picked up on quickly. “Like what you see?”

  “You see him, too?” I asked as I turned back around. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as her gaze swept over me, clearly wondering how much I’d had to drink.

  “Do you know him?” I tried again.

  Her cheeks pinked. “Uh… yeah. He’s a bouncer here,” she finished as her gaze shifted behind me and her eyes widened.

  “And he also works at a tattoo shop?” I asked. Why was I still asking about him?

  “Aww, sweetheart… you do remember me.” His voice was deep and smooth as it rolled over my shoulder, and even though he was clearly mocking me… shocker… I couldn’t deny it was a damn sexy voice. And I was ninety-six percent sure it was banter this time. Still…

  I groaned.

  Damn.

  Damn.

  “Damien,” Chelsea, the bartender, yelled as my sights stayed on Naomi. Her thick, dark hair was piled on top of her head, and I wondered how long it took for her to achieve the it-just-happened-this-way look that my sister educated me on one day. She wore gold and purple on her eyelids, which accentuated her deep brown eyes and would have had my gaze transfixed there if it weren’t for her fire-engine red lipstick. She captivated me as I watched a smile take up half her face. When I looked up to see what caused such happiness, I found her looking at me. Naomi’s gaze bounced back and forth between her friends and me for a few seconds before she shook her head.

  “Oh my God. Your name sounds like ‘demon.’ That can’t be a coincidence.”

  I rolled my eyes and her friends laughed at her theatrics. People were rarely forthcoming with me, to the point where they couldn’t even make a joke for fear I’d take it the wrong way. Of course I’d had friends and there were plenty of people unafraid of me, but sometimes it took months before they were comfortable. Naomi was one of the very few people I’d met who wasn’t immediately intimidated by me. If anything, she seemed decidedly unintimidated. I was glad that hadn’t changed since our last meeting.

  “Is she always this annoying when she’s drunk?” I asked.

  Her female friend nodded quickly. “She isn’t even drunk right now, but, yes. And trust me, you haven’t heard the worst of it.”

  “Hey!” Naomi shrieked. “Bite your tongue! I’m a great singer and you know it! Right, Gabe?”

  “Absolutely.” He nodded solemnly while the girl he had his arm around rolled her eyes. The girl I was focused on crossed her arms, pushing her breasts up and bringing attention to her creamy white cleavage.

  “Regardless, I am not drunk. And even if I was, it’s your fault I had to start heavily drinking anyway.” She glared at her two friends.

  “How so?”

  I had no clue why I continued to stand there, intruding on their conversation. I had no clue why I walked over at all, really.

  Because even though I’d been anxious to get in touch with her after last week, the news of Ellie’s pregnancy swept everything else under the rug, and I couldn’t help but think it was a sign of how unavailable I suddenly was. I mean, who in their right mind would want to start a relationship with someone who had as much going on as I did?

  “Because I’m a great friend,” Naomi answered, bringing me back to their conversation.

  “Still lost,” the other girl said, throwing a slightly nervous glance in my direction.

  Naomi sighed like she was losing patience, and like the answer was extremely obvious. “Because you two were being sickeningly sweet and I thought I was gonna throw up from it. Therefore I attempted to ply myself with enough alcohol so when I did upchuck you wouldn’t know it was because of you, you’d just think it was the alcohol. See, great friend.” Naomi pointed a finger at her chest, drawing my eyes back once more.

  Okay, fine, universe, I get it. I meant to stare.

  But really, why was I still standing there?

  “I’m Gabe.” The guy extended his beer-free hand my way and I gave it a quick pump.

  “Damien.”

  “I think I like demon better,” Naomi mused. Gabe laughed into his beer as the other girl, who I now remembered was also at the tattoo shop, shifted around uncomfortably.

  “And you are?” I held out my hand, which she quickly grabbed and jerked up once before dropping it.

  “Alara.” Her gaze instantly flickered away from mine, clearly intimidated. Ah, there was the reaction I was used to.

  “Nice to meet you.” I nodded toward them before turning back to Naomi, who was watching me with an expectant expression.

  “Well?” she asked as she started tapping her foot with raised eyebrows.

  “Well what?”

  “Aren’t you going to ask my name?” she demanded. I shrugged before signaling to Chelsea for a beer. I grabbed the bottle she extended my way and tipped it up. “You’re kind of a jackass, ya know?”

  “Jack was a close second for my name.” Naomi’s lips twitched as she tried not to laugh. I tried to crack her smile as I spoke once more, “Richard was on the list, too.”

  Her smile finally broke through, looking so carefree and genuine, I almost lost my breath. It felt like the answer I had been looking for.

  Why I had been standing there?

  To see that smile.

  It was as ridiculous as it was true.

  “Oh, do you guys have karaoke here?” Naomi suddenly asked just as Alara put a glass of water in Naomi’s hands.

  “No.”

  “Well, that’s lame. We should go to Mike’s!”

  Gabe cringed as Alara yawned and tugged on Naomi’s arm. “Hey, I’m feeling kinda tired. Maybe we could just go back to the apartment?”

  Naomi lifted the glass of water to her mouth and took a generous sip before speaking. “But…”

  I zoned out the second the glass touched her full, red lips. They wrapped around the rim and when she tipped her head back, I watched as a drop of sweat rolled down her throat and chest until it disappeared between her cleavage. I licked my
lips, wishing I was licking something else, and clenched my fists to keep myself still. Her laughter was loud and animated, just like her bold and boisterous personality, and when some of the water bubbled out of her mouth, I stared, entranced, as her tongue peeked out to catch the bits of liquid.

  “It was nice meeting you, man.” I looked up to see Gabe giving me a knowing smirk as he held out his hand. I cleared my throat and extended mine as well.

  “Yeah, you too.”

  “Bye.” Alara gave me a timid wave before grabbing Gabe’s hand and leading him toward the door. I turned around to find Naomi chugging her water before slamming the empty glass on the bar. She shook her head, like she was in a fog.

  “Well I’d say it was nice to see you, but…” She shrugged and trailed off.

  “We both know it’d be a gross understatement,” I finished with a smirk.

  She glowered before walking around me without another word, and for the second time in a week, my eyes were glued to Naomi’s fantastic ass as she walked away from me.

  …

  Ellie was lounging on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in her lap when I finally made it home three hours later. She was wearing her typical around-the-house attire: a baggy T-shirt, so large I couldn’t see the cotton shorts she was wearing underneath, and thigh-high socks. Today she was wearing a gray pair, the top of which had the face of a cat with two little ears extending beyond what would be the end of them. They were her favorite pair, and since she had her legs propped up on the table, I could see the holes being worn on the bottom.

  I hooked my keys on the rack next to the door before dumping my wallet on the coffee table. “Hey, Ells.” She stiffened before quickly relaxing and putting on a forced smile.

  “How was work?” she asked as she stood up from the couch and brought the bowl into the kitchen.

  “It was fine.” I frowned, watching her clean the few dirty dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

  “Good, good. I, uh… I was looking on the internet for jobs but I couldn’t find anything.” She looked down in shame.