“That’s not the reason I’m stupid. I’m stupid because I have all these stupid and confusing feelings and I didn’t even love him. I’m angry and sad and insecure right now, and it’s all stupid.”
“Yeah, feelings are stupid sometimes.”
“And they don’t even matter in the face of the most important thing.”
“What’s that?” I asked, my heart in my throat.
“You.” Her warm brown eyes stared straight into mine as she smiled, a smile that radiated trust and security and affection.
I never doubted my pursuit of her. But that right there, that one word from her mouth made it all worth it. We still had things to discuss, but it was enough to know that I was the most important thing to her.
Moments later, she leaned against the window and promptly fell asleep. I put the car back in drive and headed toward my apartment, already dreading having to wake her up when we got there. Naomi didn’t seem like the type of person who would be fun to wake up.
Five minutes later I pulled into the nearly full lot, parking as close to my apartment as possible. The rain made solid contact against the windshield as I contemplated the best way to get Naomi upstairs without waking her. Reaching back, I grabbed a blanket and placed it in her lap before getting out and quickly jogging around the car. I made quick work of wrapping her up and lifting her out of the car. She barely stirred as I jogged across the lot and up the stairs.
“Day?” Naomi mumbled as she curled toward my chest.
My breath caught as I looked down at her. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as they closed once more and her breathing evened out. I had just stopped in front of my door and I was frozen. She’d given me a nickname. I’d never had a nickname before (besides Ellie’s, which was the result of her not being able to say my name when she was a kid), and it was pretty stupid that it made me so happy now.
The door flew open and Ellie appeared in a black tank top, tiny blue checkered shorts, and plain black thigh-highs. She quickly pulled the banana popsicle out of her mouth, her eyes wide.
“Is she okay? What’s she doing here? Weren’t you at work?” She leaned forward and sniffed Naomi before pulling back with a look of sympathy. “She’s drunk?”
I sighed. “Are you gonna let me in or do we need to play twenty questions first?”
Ellie attempted to narrow her eyes, but it was always a little difficult to be intimidated by a person who was essentially a puppy. She stepped back and quickly shut and locked the door before trailing after me like… well, a puppy.
“Where are you going?”
“To my bedroom.” Silence followed me as I laid Naomi on my bed and removed her shoes. When I looked over my shoulder, I saw my sister gnawing on her bottom lip. “What?”
“Are you guys together now?”
“Ellie—”
“What are you doing?” Her shriek cut me off as I began covering Naomi with the comforter. Before I could ask what I was doing wrong, my sister came over and started unzipping Naomi’s jeans. “You can’t let her fall asleep in jeans. The hangover she’ll have will be bad enough. Here, hold this.” She shoved her popsicle into my hand as she began pulling Naomi’s jeans down.
“Grab her something comfy from my closet.”
“Why can’t I give her something of mine?”
She pointedly looked at my barren closet before looking at the mile-high pile of laundry on the floor. I reluctantly left them and quickly made my way to her room. Ellie was tall and willowy, nothing like Naomi’s more filled-out form. But luckily Ellie liked to wear baggy clothes, making it easy to find something. When I returned, Ellie was standing outside my closed door waiting for the clothes. I handed them off before heading to the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle and some Advil, all while juggling Ellie’s damn late-night snack. I came back to find Ellie slipping out the door, immediately reaching for her popsicle that had now dripped onto my hand, leaving a sticky residue.
“Can we all go to breakfast tomorrow morning?” she asked in an excited whisper.
I rolled my eyes as I slipped into the room. “Good night, Ellie.”
“Night, D.”
I set the water and painkillers on the nightstand before tucking the blanket more securely around her. I watched as she snuggled into my bed and let out a long, loud snore, jostling her awake. I chuckled as her eyes slowly lifted to mine.
“Day,” she said again, as she let her eyes close.
“Yeah, sweetheart?” I brushed her hair away from her face before trailing my fingers down her neck. They stopped at her necklace, pulling it free and tracing the clover.
“Thank you. I know I shouldn’t have shown up drunk… and I know I’ve been all over the place. But… I just… thank you. Coming here, to you… it was the right decision.”
It felt like someone was beating me in the head with a spiked baseball bat. This was, by far, the worst hangover I’d ever had. It was so bad I was having hallucinations. My bedspread was black with red stripes and my walls were covered with charcoal sketches. I blinked and frowned—that would be a pretty weird and random hallucination. Also it was a familiar hallucination. I knew this room…
So this wasn’t a hallucination…
I was in someone’s bedroom…
I was in…
I bolted upright.
Shit.
Fuck.
Damn.
Shitty fuckitty damn.
That hurt.
Moving slower—much, much slower—I took in Damien’s room. My eyes swept over the neatly organized bookcase, almost completely bare desk, shut closet doors with a huge pile of laundry in front of them, and landed on his nightstand. The water and pill bottle were thankfully not a hallucination, either. I quickly palmed three and washed them down before drinking half the bottle. When I put it back, I noticed a note.
Sweetheart,
Here’s some painkillers—hopefully they help. And I hate to do this in a note, but I have something very important to tell you. Regretfully, I must inform you that this counts as your “position.” I didn’t envision the make-up sex last night being between me and my hand, but I didn’t have much choice. Even passed out, you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
This was a terrible choice, therefore I will be deciding the next few positions ;)
-Day
I smiled as the nickname came back to me. I wanted to laugh at the rest of it, but painkillers don’t work that fast and I feared laughing would cause my head to explode. Shuffling back and still holding his note, I relaxed into the bed as I closed my eyes, the smile still wide on my face. I was comfortable. Too comfortable. Pulling the sheets back, I found myself in a soft, black sweatshirt that said “I’m a unicorn and I don’t believe in humans” and dark gray sweatpants rolled up at the bottom.
“You’re awake,” someone yelled from the doorway. I cringed.
“Ahhhh… why are you screaming?”
The chuckle was softer as it floated to my ears. “Sorry. I’ll whisper.” Damien probably spoke in the quietest volume possible, but it still sounded loud as fuck. He closed the door gently before sitting on the bed next to me.
“How’re you feeling?”
“Like very angry and oppressed workmen are drilling into my skull.” He smiled softly. “I didn’t think it was possible, but I think I finally found a headache to rival my twenty-first birthday hangover.”
“I’m not surprised.” He shook his head and inched closer. “How much did you have to drink last night?”
“Too much. My liver is probably crying right now.” When I shifted I was reminded of my comfortable attire. I lifted the note. “I’m guessing I wasn’t taken advantage of, even though I’m in completely different clothes?”
“I’m wounded. I’m a complete gentleman.” He put a hand over his heart and feigned a stricken expression. “My sister, on the other hand…” He trailed off as he gestured toward the door. “Yeah, she changed your clothes.”
I laughed before putting my hand over his. “Well thank her for me. I don’t normally wear jeans and I would have definitely hated waking up in them.”
Damien smiled and squeezed my hand. “You can thank her yourself. She’s wants to go to breakfast.”
“Oh, there’s this new breakfast bar that opened by campus. I’ve been dying to try it.”
“We usually hit McDonald’s. It’s cheaper.” He shrugged, completely unbothered by wanting to save money. I never understood why certain guys thought it was embarrassing to be frugal. Still, McDonald’s… no way in hell.
“Not really.”
“I can get a full meal for four dollars and no tip.” He smiled proudly.
“Yes, but once you consider all your future hospital bills from eating that garbage you’ll see it’s really more expensive.”
A smile took over his face as his eyes softened and he looked at me like I wasn’t just being a pain in the ass, like maybe I had a point or maybe I was just funny. He smiled like I was… more. And that only reminded me of the way we left things last week. Or rather the way I left things.
“Listen, about everything…” I started.
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Forget about it.”
“I don’t want to. I want to… apologize… officially.”
He laughed as I stumbled over the word. “That hurt, didn’t it?”
“Yes, so shut up and let me get it over with.” I smiled to soften my words, apologizing wasn’t something I did well. Damien nodded his head and adopted a somber attitude. Shifting up, I straightened my back and looked him dead in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shut you out. I was being a stubborn twat about the whole thing.”
“A twat?” His eyes twinkled and his grin was carefree.
I nodded. “I’ll gladly forfeit my position picking, and not just the first one, but all of them, if it means we’re okay?” I asked hopefully.
Damien shook his head and smiled. “Sweetheart, we’re more than okay. We always were.”
My smile was filled with relief as I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Several seconds later, both our expressions fell as we continued staring at one another, a deep, intense look crackling with electricity.
Then he was leaning forward…
He was going to kiss me.
I could see it in the slight curve of his lips, in the hopeful, tentative light in his eyes, and his rapid intake of breath. We’d only kissed once since that night of rough sex at my apartment. And even though we’d kissed dozens of times before, this felt different. It felt like a point of no return, like this was a first kiss. The start of something new.
When we started this, he was merely a distraction. Temporary.
But now…
He was more.
My lips lifted as I thought about how much he used to piss me off, and even though I never hated him… he sure did get on my nerves. But now, as I looked at him, I couldn’t help but wonder when the neck I wanted to strangle became the neck I wanted to hold on to and never let go.
I closed my eyes as his lips came nearer.
“Naomi…” he whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, D. Are you guys ready yet?” Ellie asked right before she pushed the door open. My eyes popped open to find Damien grinning.
“Oh crap, I’msosorry.” I looked over at a very red-faced Ellie.
“It’s all right.” His lips stayed an inch from mine and my eyes refocused on him.
She cleared her throat. “Are we still going to breakfast?”
Damien finally leaned away and glanced back at her. “Yeah, Ells.”
He held out his hand to me and raised his eyebrows.
I took it without question, letting someone help me up for the first time in years.
I watched Naomi getting ready with a small smile on my face. I was beyond ready to fully move this relationship out of the bedroom, and including my sister—and not by accident—felt like a step in that direction.
“What?” she asked with raised eyebrows.
I shook my head, the stupid smile still on my face. “Nothing. I’ll be out there when you’re done.” I hitched my thumb over my shoulder.
“I’m excited to hang out with her,” she said. I was, too, but I was also a little nervous. Having a pregnant, recovering alcoholic for a sister made my life complicated at times, but I loved Ellie with everything I had.
Trying to provide enough love for a brother, mother, and father wasn’t always easy. But families came in all different shapes and sizes, and just because ours only contained the two of us, didn’t mean we had any less love than a family of forty. And Ellie needed it, she deserved it. But it was a challenge and I wasn’t sure how Naomi would react to her addiction. She didn’t know everything, and even when she did, knowing and seeing were two completely different things.
I gave her a kiss on the forehead before slowly turning around and leaving. I paused outside the now-closed door. I was dying to give her a real kiss. We’d been seconds away from that kiss earlier, right before Ellie walked in. Even though we’d locked lips plenty of times before, I knew this would be different because both of us would finally be acknowledging that this was something deeper.
I found Ellie sitting on the couch, staring down at her stomach and singing. “What are you doing?” I asked with a grin as I sat down next to her.
“The doctor said the baby can probably hear now.” She lifted up her shirt and placed her hands on either side of her stomach. “I never knew I’d be so excited to have stretch marks,” she said with a broad smile as we both took in her extended belly.
I raised my eyebrow. “What about everything else?”
“I could live without the heartburn, gas, and backaches… if those could go away, that’d be nice.”
“They will soon, right?”
My sister shrugged. “Who knows? Pregnancy symptoms seem to be like playing the lottery, but not the fun kind. You never know what you’ll get, when you’ll get it, or how long you’ll have it. No one in my classes seems to be experiencing the same thing at the same time.”
I nodded but kept my mouth shut, it’s not like I had anything useful to contribute to the conversation.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, your friend stopped by last night.”
My brow furrowed. “Claire?” It was pretty pathetic that one of my bosses, one I went out with socially about once every five months, was the first person I thought of when I heard the word friend.
“No,” Ellie said slowly as she gave me a strange look. “I know Claire, I would have said her by name.”
“Right.” I jerked my chin in her direction. “So, who?”
“Grayson.”
I kept my expression neutral. “Oh. What’d he need?” I couldn’t exactly ask her any of the other questions bouncing around in my head.
My sister shrugged as she got up to grab a banana and some peanut butter. “Just to say hi, I guess. It was kind of strange. He kept looking at me funny.” Her nose was wrinkled as she sat back down beside me.
I waited a couple of beats before asking, “Did he say anything to you?”
“Just that he was a friend, and next time he’d call first before coming over. He all but sprinted away afterward. Dude was fast.” She took a big bite of banana before shoving a spoonful of chunky peanut butter in her mouth.
“Huh, well thanks for telling me.”
“No problem,” she mumbled around the food. “So, where do you know him from?”
Shit. I didn’t want to lie, but how could I spin the truth? Luckily Naomi stepped out at just the right time.
“Are you crazy kids ready?” she hollered as she shut my door and I heard the two footsteps it took for her to exit the hall.
Yes, more than ever.
…
Lunch started off well enough. It was a little awkward, especially with how nervous Ellie was, but Naomi never faltered. She never made Ellie uncomfortable… until she
asked Ellie what she was doing with her life.
“So, Ellie, are you in school or just working?” Naomi asked with a smile.
Ellie paled. “Uhh… I’m not…” she cleared her throat and took a drink of water. “I’m actually looking for a job right now.” I couldn’t see her hands but I could guess they were placed protectively over her stomach. It made me smile despite the tension. She may not have a job yet, but she was trying. She wanted to do right by her kid.
“You know, my brother works at a bar and they’re currently looking for a daytime hostess. I could recommend you if you’d like.” Naomi gave Ellie a soft smile while waiting for her answer. My sister’s eyes flickered to me, her confusion apparent. She didn’t know I had yet to tell Naomi. Despite my relief at seeing Naomi make such an effort, I had to say, “No.” After all, bars plus alcoholics did not mix well.
I was looking at Ellie’s completely unsurprised expression but I could feel Naomi shooting daggers into the side of my head.
“No?” she asked incredulously.
With a firm nod, I reached for my coffee. Naomi swiped it from me before I made contact.
“No?” she repeated, even louder, drawing a few heads our way. I saw her shake her head out of the corner of my eye. “I don’t recall asking you if you wanted the job.”
“I wasn’t speaking for me. I was speaking on behalf of Ellie.” I paused to flash her a dry grin before firmly repeating, “No.” I wasn’t trying to be an asshole. Naomi didn’t know what she was asking, but it infuriated me to think of Ellie back in that position after she had come so far.
“And you’re okay with this?” Naomi asked Ellie.
She shrugged and wrapped her lips around her straw. I narrowed my eyes. “You’d want to work at a bar?” Maybe she hadn’t come as far as I thought, maybe she still struggled but was choosing not to tell me because of how I reacted last time.
Unveiling Chaos Page 16
