She had just started nodding when her name was called. I stood up with her and for some reason I grabbed her hand.
“Do you want me to go with you?” If the question or my holding her hand was weird, she didn’t say so. In fact, she looked almost touched by the simple gesture.
“No thanks,” she said with a squeeze. “But I really appreciate the offer.”
“Of course.” I smiled at her as she let go and wove through the chairs to meet the nurse. Ellie turned around and waved before disappearing behind the door.
I sat down and pulled out my phone. Worrying my lip, I quickly typed out a message before I could think twice about it.
Me: Everything here is good. Ellie just went in with the nurse.
Damien: Good. Thank you again.
Damien: I’m still stuck in traffic. Hopefully I’ll be home when you drop her off.
I sat there staring at my phone, unsure what to say. A first for me. Apparently today would be a day of many firsts. I never thought I’d be the girl who ignored a boy’s call just because she was hurt, I never thought I’d be irrationally angry over the truth like I was when Ellie told me Damien never mentioned me, and I definitely never thought I’d be rendered speechless because I was worried about saying the wrong thing.
Seriously, this whole being a girl thing… it’s fucking annoying.
Well, I was done with it. I was just going to tell him the truth. No analyzing what it meant, where it would lead, or what he would think of it.
Who knew four words could be so terrifying?
Me: I hope so, too.
The college bookstore was an evil place. Add that to my general bad mood and I wasn’t a happy camper. I glared at one of the used textbooks on the shelf. Last semester I returned the exact same one and received twenty dollars. Now it was being sold for a hundred and fifteen. And while, yes, that fact alone was annoying, I knew the real reason for my sour mood had more to do with Damien than anything else.
After sending my super brave text message yesterday, I shoved my phone into my purse and ignored it until I dropped his sister off an hour later. Fortunately—or unfortunately, I didn’t really know anymore—he hadn’t been home yet. We exchanged a few more texts before I fell asleep, but nothing concrete came of it.
Now, my phone chimed, pulling me out of my depressing thoughts. I stared down at the words, my lips tipping up into a smile. He wasn’t giving up.
Damien: Time’s up.
Me: ?
Damien: Either you come over to my place after work. Or I’ll show up at your apartment. It’s your choice.
My annoyance easily fell away. It was my choice. Damien knew exactly how to give me control even as he made a command. He was a special guy, and there was no way I could deny it anymore. There was only so far you could run when someone with this much determination was chasing you.
Me: I’d rather make the other decision…
Damien: And what decision would that be?
Me: The position we have make-up sex in
Damien: I can assure you there will definitely be more than one position used tonight…
Me: I don’t doubt it—you’re kind of crazy about me :p But I want the first one
Damien: I think that can be arranged.
I felt a huge sigh of relief leave me.
Damien: Oh, and you’re wrong…
Me: *eyebrows raised* Are you sure? I’m rarely wrong
Damien: Positive. I’m more than “kind of” crazy about you, sweetheart. Way more than kind of, and I’m done denying it.
My heart was beating so fast I was sure anyone near me could see it through my shirt. He was so confident in his feelings, and I envied the crap out of him for it. He didn’t wait for me to respond before another text came through.
Damien: It’s about time you came around.
Me: You made it hard to stay away :)
Damien: You’re the one who makes it hard ;)
I rolled my eyes and laughed as I thought about how to respond.
“Naomi?” My head whipped up to see Caleb standing beside me. He cleared the surprise out of his voice before continuing. “Hey, how are you?”
It took me a moment to respond as I looked him over from head to toe. “I’m fine. You?”
He looked horrible. His skin was pale and his hair was greasy like he hadn’t washed it—okay, fine. He didn’t look horrible. He looked fine. Scratch that, he looked better, which he confirmed when he said, “Good, I’m really good.” And then he smiled. Smiled. A genuine smile like he hadn’t been this happy in years, or maybe ever. And didn’t that just piss me the fuck off.
I had already gone through all the phases of a bad breakup.
I had wanted answers, and I had gotten them. I was inattentive, he didn’t love me anymore, we had grown apart. Blah, blah, blah…
Denial. It was a dream, he didn’t mean it, he was confused. Blah, blah, blah…
Anger. Things were broken, letters were written, and a voodoo may have been set on fire (this stage was a particularly dramatic one).
Bargaining. I’d convince him I could be better. I’d promise to devote four nights a week to him. Blah, blah, blah…
Depression. I’d lost one of my best friends. No one would understand me like he did. Blah, blah, blah…
Acceptance. I hadn’t loved him. We weren’t right for each other. Blah, blah, blah…
I had accepted it, really, I had. But it pissed me off that he was standing there smiling at me, looking happier than ever. I was just starting to figure out how to have a normal relationship again, and here he was looking like he’d been happy for months. And suddenly I was right back at anger.
I smirked. “That’s great. How’s Amber?”
His smile quickly morphed into a frown when he registered my mood. Caleb took a step forward. “Naomi, I—” He stopped and placed his hand on my arm. “I’m sorry. I don’t want it to be this way. You’re one of my best friends, I never wanted to hurt you.”
I threw his hand off and stuck my finger in his face. “Then you should have broken up with me before you slept with her.”
“I know. I didn’t plan any of this and if I could do it over, I would do everything differently. But I mean… come on, you knew it was over, too.” He shrugged sheepishly and looked at his shoes. “Everything else just seemed like a formality.” He cringed as he said it.
My eyes narrowed. “A formality?”
Stay calm.
Stay calm.
You don’t want to be that crazy bitch who makes a scene in the bookstore.
“That came out wrong.” He held up his hands. “I just meant… we were halfway to being broken up anyway. We stopped hanging out, unless it was for sex, and we were both okay with that. I mean, you knew I was always going to lunch with Amber and you never even cared. It didn’t bother you at all,” Caleb defended with a helpless shrug.
“Because I trusted you,” I all but shouted, thoughts of being calm completely gone. “Don’t you dare make me feel bad because I trusted you.”
He had the decency to look ashamed as tears welled up in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Naomi, I am. But you didn’t need me. Amber… well, she makes me feel important.”
My mouth dropped open in horror as he revealed something he’d never told me before. “I-I made you feel unimportant?”
Caleb shrugged once more. Damn, his shoulders were getting a workout. “Guys like to feel needed. And, I mean, apart from killing the occasional spider, you didn’t need me.”
I closed my eyes as I tried to shove my emotions back. “Look, I’m sorry.” I opened my eyes to see his horrified expression at my apology. “No, I am. I’m trying not to be the crazy, bitter ex-girlfriend, especially because I know you’re right. We were over,” I said, bypassing the talk about how apparently I made him feel irrelevant. “I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends like we once were, but I’m willing to try. Not now, but maybe in a few months, we can try… if you want.”
He n
odded eagerly. “I want that, and I know I’ll want it later, too.”
“Fine. I gotta go.” I turned around and exited the bookstore without another word, leaving with a whole hell of a lot, but without getting anything I actually came for.
…
I stumbled toward Swerved after the cab dropped me off. This afternoon and my text messages with Damien felt miles away. I’d felt my phone vibrate a few more times, but I never checked it.
I reached the door just as a lip-locked couple stepped out. I made a gagging noise as I passed them and slipped into the club. It was a Tuesday night, so not much was happening, only a handful of couples were on the dance floor and only half the bar was filled. My gaze bounced around looking for Damien, only to be met with disappointment.
“Naomi?”
“AH!” I yelled as a hand gripped my elbow. Turning around too quickly, I lost my balance and stumbled into a boulder. I blinked rapidly as I stepped back and started poking it. When did boulders develop hands? Another yelp left my throat as the boulder’s hands gently gripped my wrists.
“Naomi.” The voice was firm, but kind. Since when did boulders talk? My gaze lifted and… oh… not a boulder. Just an extremely solid chest. An extremely solid Damien-shaped chest.
My eyes narrowed on him. “You’re not a boulder,” I said accusingly.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What?” He stepped forward and sniffed before wrinkling his nose. “How much have you had to drink?” The question was clearly rhetorical as he guided me to the bar and gently pushed me in a seat before getting the bartender’s attention and ordering a water.
“And a couple shots of tequila, please.” I burped, because I was a lady like that.
“Absolutely not,” Damien said in a rough voice, a concerned frown on his beautiful face.
“Excuse you, but you ain’t my mama.”
He laughed. “Something tells me you wouldn’t listen to me even if I was,” he mumbled as the bartender’s gaze flickered between us. Damien motioned his approval as she filled two shot glasses to the rim and slid them across the counter. Picking one up, I looked at Damien and nodded to the other.
“I’m at work.”
“Suit yourself.” I brought the glass to my lips just as a guy came up on my left and snatched the other shot. Mouth wide open, I watched him toss it back and smirk before leaning closer. I quickly shut my mouth and lowered the untouched glass as I swiveled toward him.
“Oh, did you want to join me for a drink?” I asked in a sickly sweet voice. I heard Damien grunt behind me, he knew I was about to be an ass. That made my smile a little more real.
The guy’s smile widened at my “invitation” as he gave me a sleazy once-over. “Absolutely, baby.”
My smile vanished as he stepped closer and put a hand on my knee. I could feel Damien stiffen behind me, but before he could react I grabbed my shot and threw it in the guy’s face. Damien and the bartender chuckled as his face twisted in anger, the grip on my knee tightening.
This club and my knee did not have a good relationship.
Damien’s laughter immediately broke off as he noticed. He quickly stepped around me and shoved the guy’s hand off before roughly pushing him backwards. “Get the hell out,” he barked. “Or you’ll leave with more than just a stained shirt.” The guy relented quickly, and a minute later he was out the door.
“I see you don’t exactly need a defender,” Damien said as he pushed some hair back from my face. I stared at him with wide eyes. God, he really was beautiful. He was wearing all black like usual, a tight T-shirt stretching across what I knew was a perfectly sculpted chest and jeans that made me irrationally jealous of denim. His beard looked just as perfect as it had when I first met him, and I longed to run my fingers along it before burying them in his loose, blond locks.
I ripped his hair tie away so I could do just that. He let me, but his eyes were concerned as they moved around my face.
“Naomi?”
“What?” I murmured softly, scooting closer to the edge of my seat.
He looked around before focusing his intense stare on me. “Are you alone?”
“Yep.” My head bobbed with my rapid nods as I moved my hands down to rest on his broad shoulders.
Damien frowned. “I thought you didn’t like to get drunk in public.”
“I don’t,” I answered truthfully before I hiccupped. I was surprised he remembered me telling him that. “But I trust you to take care of me.” Our stare was intense as our gazes stayed locked.
“What happened that has you so upset? You never texted me back. I was worried,” he said softly. The distressed look on his face left me breathless. Damien grabbed both my hands and brought them to his lips. He placed a gentle kiss on each one before holding them to his chest and raising his eyebrows in question.
But I couldn’t answer. Because now that I was sitting in front of him, I realized I wasn’t upset anymore. If Caleb hadn’t cheated on me, I wouldn’t have met Damien.
I shivered as the thought left me cold.
Now, that would be something to be upset about.
My gaze zeroed in on her chest, and no, it wasn’t for the obvious reason. Although her tits did look fan-fucking-tastic in her tight shirt, they weren’t what caught my eye. It was the necklace.
My “reason.”
She hadn’t worn it since that day. I knew, I checked.
“I’m gonna make sure the guys can cover me and then I’ll take you home. Okay, sweetheart?” This time when I called her “sweetheart” it was completely sincere, not a trace of mockery in my voice, and I vowed there never would be again. Her warm smile told me she understood as much, despite her inebriated state, and she nodded.
Naomi hiccupped as she stood up before stumbling forward and falling against me. I immediately wrapped her in my arms, and when I pulled her back to look down at her, her face had paled and her eyes were fluttering.
“Hey, hey, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she slurred as she struggled to stay standing.
I narrowed my eyes and looked around. “No, you’re not. Sit there,” I said, pointing to the far end of the bar, where a couple of the girls were cashing out. “I’ll come get you when I’m done.”
She struggled in my arms before giving up and poking me in the chest. “Listen, mister. I didn’t leave one skunk’s ass just to deal with another.”
My eyebrows rose as I continued to hold her. “Skunk’s ass?” I asked, struggling not to laugh.
“Yes. Skunk’s asssssss.” She drew the last word out as she shook her head before letting it fall against my chest.
“Seriously, are you okay?” I whispered against her ear as I rubbed her back.
She caught me by surprise when her arms wound around me and she held on tightly. In a whisper of her own she added, “I will be.”
I looked down at the top of her very still head and continued moving my hands in small circles on her back. With a deep breath, I pulled back and set my hands on her shoulders before slowly spinning her around and leading her to the end seat.
“Will you ladies watch her for a minute?” The three regulars smiled and nodded before returning to counting and splitting their tips. I turned back around to find Naomi already seated and looking at me.
“Wait for me?” My eyes focused on her suddenly lucid ones as they bounced around my face. They fluttered closed as my fingers traced a soft path from the crown of her forehead to her jaw.
“Yes,” she breathed out. “I’ll wait for you.”
…
Light rain drizzled around us as Naomi and I left the club. I picked her up and carried her quickly across the lot so we didn’t get too wet. And she must have been really drunk because she didn’t say a damn word about it. She closed her eyes as I settled her in the passenger seat and shut the door. I quickly made my way around and got in, starting the car immediately.
I cleared my throat before asking, “What happened?”
“I ran into my ex.” Her voice sounded far away as she used the condensation to draw shapes on the window.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“There’s nothing really to talk about.”
“Why don’t I decide that?” I pushed.
“It’s not important,” she mumbled once more.
“Again, I want to decide that. It’s important to me. You’re important to me.”
She shrugged and her hand paused for a moment before she resumed drawing her flower. “I feel stupid. I—”
“You shouldn’t feel stupid because he cheated. He cheated on you. He gave up on you. And that makes him the dumbest fuck alive.” Somehow I managed to ground that out without raising my voice.
Her eyes met mine and with a sad smile she said, “I don’t feel stupid because he cheated. Why would I? I dated him for five years, I trusted him. I won’t feel stupid for that.”
I frowned. “Then why do you feel stupid?”
She turned and looked out the window once more. “He seemed really happy today,” she said softly. “And I just can’t believe I never noticed how unhappy he was with me. I feel kinda stupid for that.” Naomi sighed. “And I think he was right…”
“About?” I prompted as I backed out and started down the street.
“Me wanting him ‘cause he was convenient.” Naomi let out a humorless laugh. “When we first broke up, before I met you, all I was thinking about was that I was alone. Not that I was without him, just that I was without someone. I wasn’t missing him because of who he was but because of who I was without him, and it shouldn’t be that way.” She began banging her head on the window and muttering, “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
“Hey, hey.” I looked around at the deserted road and put the car in park before reaching over and grabbing her by the shoulder. “Look at me. Didn’t we just decide you weren’t stupid?”
Unveiling Chaos Page 15
