by Max Lockwood
"What, you mean I'll distract you? I'll just be walking with you up and down the street, won't I?"
Clara sighed and rubbed her forehead. Well, that was an entirely simplistic way of looking at it, because they would be doing a lot more than that. It was true that nothing had happened yet, but… well, just yesterday she'd done nothing but what Tessa said, with a gun slung over her shoulders, for hours.
"Are you sure this it what you want?" she asked, uncertain.
Tessa's hands unclenched and she wrapped her arms around her chest. "It's what I want," she said bluntly. "What, am I just not allowed outside?"
Clara hesitated. "Well, not quite that, but it isn’t recommended, and I don’t want you wandering off with the way things are now."
Tessa scoffed. "I wouldn’t run away. It's just patrol, isn’t it? Helping the town and our neighborhood. Besides, you'll stay with me, won't you? You won't leave me behind."
"Of course not," she said absent-mindedly, part of her still feeling a little confused.
Why of all things, would her sister pick this? There were plenty of other ways she could be of help to others. Even if she'd been declared unfit for work before, the current world didn’t revolve around such rules. She would probably need supervision for a while, but she would be fine eventually.
But, then again, she would be with Tessa, and she could technically act as supervisor. Besides, it would only be once, wouldn’t it? That should be okay. If Tessa didn’t take to it, then Clara could send her home and her obligation would be done.
Clara considered it, knowing that Tessa couldn’t be trusted with a weapon. She was getting better, but she could just as easily relapse. She had yet to get more pills, and the ones they had wouldn’t last forever. Tessa was just too volatile.
However, she considered that if Tessa had a purpose, she might be happier and might patch things up with Viola. If she didn’t, Clara could use giving her what she wanted to get Tessa to do her a favor, and get the two of them to talk things out, finally. They were locked in some weird stalemate, had been since the last time Tessa shouted at their grandmother, and Clara was tired of seeing it. She'd finally broken down and tried to interfere herself, but she hadn't been able to accomplish much.
She would be right there beside her, anyway.
"Would you go on patrol with me tomorrow?" Clara asked Tessa. "I'm not sure if you can be out any other day, but if you do all right tomorrow, it could become a permanent position, though of course, we work in shifts so we don’t tire ourselves out."
After a moment, she turned around, and their gazes met.
"I'd like that, very much. And finally, I'll have a chance to show my worth."
Chapter Eighteen
She woke up early and got her sister up so they could both prepare for the day.
Clara was having second thoughts, now that she'd slept on her decision, wondering if this was really the way to go. The last time she'd let Tessa out had been a bad idea, though she would be sticking by her now. Cooper shared her concern, staring at her as she waited for her sister to finish getting ready.
"Are you sure you should do this?" he finally asked after several minutes of her avoiding his eyes.
She imagined judgment in them, though it was probably worry that he was feeling. She did appreciate that he didn’t come right out and say what a stupid idea it had been to agree to Tessa's request without putting up much protest it.
There were plenty of reasons why Tessa shouldn't come out with her than she had thought of at the time. She blamed the whole thing on her exhaustion because she wouldn’t have done it if she'd had a sharp mind. Her family's safety was paramount to her. Putting them in needless danger went against the grain.
But, there was a reason she was still going along with it.
She sighed. "She asked, Cooper. I asked her to tell me what she wanted, and this was it. You have no idea how little she actually asks for things from us, her family. And I already said yes. If I go back on my word now…"
She was already at odds with Viola. Clara didn’t want to get on her bad side in case it caused her to start acting rashly. She needed a way to control her sister without being too controlling. Giving her things she wanted, even if she had to limit them, had to count for something in the end. She glanced over at Cooper, but he was still looking worried.
She sighed again and went to give him a pat on the arm. "I know you're worried. Honestly, so am I. But she said she wanted to prove her self-worth."
He frowned. "So, does this have anything to do with your grandmother and their fight before?"
Clara shrugged. "I think so, but I honestly don’t know. She isn’t exactly the talkative type, you know. She barely spoke at all. She just said the words that got to me more than anything. I'm hoping it would help them make up and forget about the argument."
"I still don’t like this," he told her. "But, I guess if she asked and you're willing to let her go with you, then fine. It's not like I can do anything, anyway."
Clara could have told him he had a say. If he told her outright not to take Tessa, she might do just that. She may not follow it often, but she did trust Cooper's opinion and his judgment. Maybe, if she hadn't gotten angry at him before she went to see Tessa, she might have avoided this whole thing. She didn’t want to babysit her sister when she was supposed to be on her job, but she knew if Tessa knew that was what Clara thought, she would get angry, so she kept it to herself.
"If anything happens, I'll send her home immediately. You've been teaching her a little about defending herself and I'm hoping that knowledge will be useful to her."
Of course, she hoped fervently that today of all days nothing happened. Still, she got a bad feeling, because things never seemed to go the way she wanted them to. Really, they never had. A knock on her door had her turning to face it.
"Clara? It's me. I'm ready."
She took a deep breath, another glance at Cooper, and went to open the door. She was surprised at her sister's appearance. She really had cleaned up and changed into normal looking clothes. She looked different, almost like her old self, and she'd even managed to tame her hair somehow. Clara felt the surprise on her face and tried to change her expression, but Tessa saw it already, and she scoffed.
"Yeah, I clean up pretty, so what? Can we please go now?"
Clara bit her lip at her sister's impatience. She must have really wanted to go outside, so Clara didn’t keep them any longer. They'd already had a quick meal, so it was fine.
Clara and Tessa headed out together on patrol, Clara trying to curb the uneasy feeling growing in her chest.
It wasn’t like they were going far. They were just moving up and down the streets, checking in with patrollers from streets near theirs while keeping an ear out for the sound of a truck or gunshots. Of course, the element of danger and the fact that Clara was putting her ill sister in the middle of it did make her quite a bit uneasy.
"It's cool to have such a big responsibility," Tessa said out of nowhere. "I can see why you like it."
Clara could have said that wasn’t why she was doing this, but it wouldn’t be entirely the truth. She did want to help, but this also helped her out, and not in the way she had before, as a means of escape.
"It's good to have a purpose and not be stuck in the house," she admitted. "I've never been able to just sit still and do nothing. It's why I always keep myself busy."
Tessa hummed. "It's no wonder I'm going crazy sitting in the house," she muttered.
Clara turned wide eyes to her sister but forced herself to look away in the next second. That was the first-time Tessa was admitting she wasn’t quite right in the head. It gave Clara hope that she really could recover. This was like Tessa snapping out of her denial and starting to really think things through instead of just sticking stubbornly to the notion that she was right.
She ignored the comment, not wanting to bring attention to it. "It's good for all of us to get out now and then," she said instead.
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br /> They hadn't gone far when Clara heard a voice calling out both their names. They turned around, surprised. Viola was rushing after then into the street. Clara wanted to curse. Having Tessa out was bad enough, but she wanted her grandmother to be safely in the house. Cooper was supposed to be keeping an eye on her so, where was he? Though it was true that their grandmother was also an adult, and could leave the house as she pleased.
Clara just wished she'd picked a different day. Maybe they shouldn’t have left home without speaking to her first, but now really was not the time.
"Grandma, please go back to the house," Clara tried to tell her. "You need to get home. We're out on patrol right now, we can talk when we get back."
But she wouldn’t listen, thinning her lips and shaking her head stubbornly, her eyes skipping over Clara to settle on Tessa, who only looked on blankly, not saying anything.
"Grandmother, please," she tried to plead, but it didn’t sway the older woman.
"I need to speak to your sister."
She sighed, exasperated, feeling the urge to yank on her hair in frustration. "Grandmother—"
"No," she insisted, trying to get past Clara. "I did as you asked before and gave her time to cool down, but this has gone on for too long. I need to fix our relationship, it's been bothering me that I haven't done anything. Tessa, please, just let's talk."
"I don’t want anything to do with you," came the fast, scathing reply from Tessa. "And I'm busy at work, so just please go back already."
Clara wanted to curse again, at herself, at her sister. She should have intervened and would have if she hadn't been so busy with other things. Tessa should have been gentler in her words, and Clara could see the hurt cross her grandmother's face before it was replaced by determination.
"We need to talk things out," Viola said.
But before either of them could respond, they heard the sound of a car.
It made Clara's blood freeze. Because of course, today of all days, was when the invaders would choose to attack. There was no time to get everyone back indoors.
Everyone clumsily got into position, Clara wondering what the hell she was going to do. They were all panicking as a car pulled up. Several people jumped out of the car, guns blazing.
This was so like the last time that she had a flash of déjà vu. Of course, there were plenty of men in this party, but a woman with a gun ran for Clara, Viola, and Tessa.
She did curse then, struggling a little with the strap as she pulled the gun around. The woman had her gun raised and aimed, right at Tessa, and she took the shot as Clara shot the woman. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Clara got the shot off, and the woman went down, but she thought she'd heard the woman take her own shot, and Clara was already turning to Tessa, a shout to move in her mouth.
But Tessa was frozen, gaping with wide eyes at the way the woman had come. It was as if she couldn’t understand what was going on. Fear iced Clara's heart when she thought her sister was going to die.
She didn’t see it in time. She was so focused, that she never turned to look at Viola and didn’t notice when she moved. Before the bullet could hit Tessa, Viola dove into the path of the bullet. Clara just watched, mouth widened in a silent scream, as Viola crumpled to the ground like a broken marionette, her own feet frozen for a second.
Tessa fell to the ground beside Viola, sobbing. But there were still enemies in the area. Clara watched the carnage unfold, with her grandmother dying and the others fighting. She found herself stumbling forward, toward her family, barely paying attention to anything else going on around them as words of denial circled in her mind.
Just no. this should not have happened, not today of all days. Was it just bad luck, that the day Tessa chose to start coming out of her shell, this would happen? And their poor grandmother. Clara needed to do something, to make sure she was okay, but what? She wasn’t a real nurse, for all the help she did at the hospital. She didn’t have any supplies, or miracle worker hands. She knew even as she got closer to them, what would happen.
Viola tried to speak, but couldn’t for the pain, obvious to any who saw her because of her twisted face and tears running out her eyes. Tessa tried to stop the bleeding with her own hands, her hands soaked in blood.
Viola passed quickly, and Clara watched Tessa fall apart.
Chapter Nineteen
The gunfire stopped, but Clara's ears were still ringing.
Her thoughts wouldn’t slow down. How could this have happened, today of all days? All she could see, over and over in her mind, were the moments that the woman appeared, aiming the gun, Viola crumpling to the ground, Tessa sobbing and all the blood.
The blood, particularly, filled her sight with red. Her grandmother was either dead or dying—she was dead, Clara could tell, she just didn’t want it to be true—and there was nothing she could do other than killing the person that made the shot.
She dropped to her knees by her sister and her dead grandmother, holding Viola's hand. It surprised her that the hand was warm, but she squashed the hope in her heart before it had the chance to grow. That would mean nothing, in a little while. There was way too much red on her chest for her to survive it.
She watched the blood seep and knew Viola meant what she said about loving her grandchildren equally—she gave her life for Tessa's.
Her sister was crying her heart out next to her, and Clara couldn’t make a move to comfort her. She didn’t know that she could. Tessa's hands were still pressing down on Viola trying to staunch the blood flow, though Clara knew it was much too late. They would have had a chance if the world had been the way it should be. They would have been able to call for an ambulance, and if they were lucky, it wouldn’t take long for medical personnel with supplies and experience to do their best to keep Viola alive. She would have been taken to a hospital, with all the equipment they would need to save her.
Hell, if the world had been as it should be, this never would have happened.
Tessa sobbed uncontrollably. She was speaking through the sobs, barely coherent, but Clara did catch her saying that things shouldn’t have ended the way they did between them.
Right. They two of them were fighting, even just before the attack. Clara was still feeling numb about it, but she could just imagine how Tessa felt.
Tessa, who had been witness to their parents dying while Clara blocked it from her mind. Tessa, who had been irrevocably changed because of what she'd witnessed, how it had warped her mind. And then to watch this again, while she'd been picking a fight with their grandmother. Having to live with the knowledge that Viola took a bullet meant for her… even though Clara held herself partially responsible for not doing all that she could.
Her mind could splinter again. She'd been doing so well recently, but with this, Clara could just see her returning to how she had been before, if not worse.
Clara tried to comfort her, wrapping a hand around her arm while keeping the other hand in Viola's, ignoring her own grief just starting to grow in her chest. Her sister was her first priority just then. If she let her mind splinter like before, she would lose both her grandmother and sister on that sidewalk.
"It's okay, Tessa, calm down. She loved you no matter what, you know that. Just quiet down, okay? Shh…"
She kept murmuring soothing words, but Tessa couldn’t hear for her sobbing. The only thing she refused to say was everything would be all right because that would be a lie. They'd lost another member of their family, and now it was just the two of them. Things would never be all right again.
Clara didn’t think even she could accept this. She could only be so calm because she was trying to comfort her sister. Her heart beat faster, blood rushing in her ears so she couldn’t hear anything but her sister's cries, as she felt the hand in hers grow colder. It must have just been her imagination, but Clara could have sworn she could feel the temperature dip as her grandmother’s hand cooled within her hand.
Out of nowhere, Clara realized everything els
e had gone too quiet. She glanced up and looked around, but all she could see were their neighbors and bodies of the enemies littering the ground. It was something of a familiar sight, but back then, she hadn't been this devastated.
She could almost laugh at herself. She had felt triumphant, then. Because they had won a fight, that had started with the odds stacked against them. She had felt confident then like she could take on anyone and anything after she'd defended and attacked with a knife in a gun fight. She had been so proud of herself then.
There was nothing even close to that, now.
What she did feel, was an emptiness so great, she thought it should physically hurt. She didn't even know what words she was still telling her sister, trying to calm her down because Clara also felt fear. She was relatively calm, but she feared what came behind that emptiness.
With the fight won, others from the street came to help. Clara noticed them first, and she could have told them they didn’t have to bother. Their family had always been private, at least Clara and Tessa had been, and her sister wouldn't appreciate what she'd see as an intrusion. But her lips could only form words by rote, and she watched them get closer. Then her sister noticed them.
Predictably, Tessa didn’t appreciate it, glaring at anyone who got too close. She was crouching down over Viola, baring her teeth like some territorial animal guarding something precious. Seeing it almost made Clara crack before she glossed over it. She did tighten her hand on Tessa's arm in warning.
"Go away!" she screamed at the intruders. "All of you step back right now. Go away and leave me to grieve!"
Clara gasped at her words. Well, she hadn't thought her sister was stupid, but she was trying hard not to think about it herself. Still, hearing Tessa's word made her heart clench.
