by Max Lockwood
So, she knew Viola was dead, even though her hands were still held over Viola's wound, trying to staunch the blood flow. Clara wanted to ask why she was still doing that if she knew, wasn't the blood on her hands creepy? But Tessa probably didn’t know she was still doing it, or she might have the same fear Clara did, and she was keeping her hands still in an irrational hope that this was not happening.
No hope could bring back the dead, though, they both knew that. It was just too bitter a pill to swallow.
Clara clutched at the cold hand in hers, but still restrained herself, worried the fragile fingers would break if she held on too tightly. It took her a minute to realize the almost desperate gasping she could hear was actually coming from her. Then she felt the tears stream down her face, and whatever pretense of calm she'd held fell apart.
Clara put an arm around her sister and they cried together, both of them giving into their grief. If Tessa knew, Clara didn’t have to pretend to be strong for her sister's sake, because honestly, she wasn’t feeling very strong herself, at that moment. She wanted to scream at the injustice of the world that something like this could happen just when they'd come up with a solution for their recent problem.
But no. It had always been like this, hadn't it? Because the world didn’t have an obligation to cater to them. Anything could happen at any moment. This was a result of their carelessness. Somehow, they would have to get through this, and Clara wasn’t sure that they both could.
It didn’t occur to her that she could be the one to break this time. She'd forgotten all about her parents' deaths, aside from what she'd been told when she woke up later at the hospital. But she had seen this. And she had some form of responsibility like Tessa had invented for herself when she felt something bad would happen if they went for the trip that got their parents killed.
But Clara did bear a bigger responsibility in this. If she'd just helped Viola and Tessa. If only she hadn't let their argument go on for so long. If she'd taken the time to talk to both of them, something might have changed. If she hadn't let Tessa come out, Viola wouldn’t have followed them and been outside when the attack happened.
Then hatred grew in her chest. They might all have some responsibility, but the invaders were the ones that caused all of this. If they'd held onto their sanity, not turning to means like these, their town wouldn’t have had to be on their guard. Life would have gone on for them, in some way resembling normal, and she would still have time to spend with her family. But they attacked them, and one of them shot at her sister, killing her grandmother instead. She buried her face in Tessa's shoulder as she sobbed harder, feeling her anger grow in her chest.
They had done this, and Clara would make them all pay if it was the last thing she ever did.
A long while later, Cooper helped them take Viola back to the house, not wanting to leave her out on the street for everyone to gawk at. They took her—her body—back to her room and laid her on the bed, covering her with the sheets so they wouldn’t see the blood.
Clara had Tessa and wash off the blood and get changed. Her crying had slowed down, but she was looking a lot closer to her old self, with her sallow face, puffed up eyes, and her hair getting messy from running her hands through it. She made sure her hair was washed, too, to get the blood out, and then she took her sister to her room and sat with her as she cried herself to sleep.
She had calmed down considerably by the time she met back with Cooper in the living room, sitting on the couch together.
"We need to bury her," Clara muttered, feeling empty inside with all the tears gone, her emotions locked away so they wouldn’t drive her crazy.
Cooper tried to comfort her, tried to get an arm around her to pull her into his warmth, but she resisted sending him a glare that had him backing off and snapping his mouth shut.
"I don’t want to hear it—I just want to feel the pain of Viola's death and suffer it."
She wasn’t going to hide from this like she'd done with her parents' deaths. She had forgotten everything and did her best to put it all out of her mind while she went on with her life, but she was determined to not forget this time. She wasn’t a child, she was a grown woman now, and this was simply a part of life. If she couldn’t get through this on her own, the future to come would break her, and she would leave Tessa alone. Clara had no intention of leaving her sister alone.
Cooper looked torn but finally relented, getting up and walking away. "I'll give you some space."
Clara watched him go, then clenched her fist, knowing all she could think about right then was revenge.
Chapter Twenty
Clara wasn’t sure how much time had passed. She was sure some time had gone by, at least, but she felt like she was stuck in limbo.
All Clara knew was that she had to keep moving, just to get food for the both of them instead of leaving it all to Cooper to take care of them. It wasn’t his job to take care of the both of them, but she'd given herself the job of taking care of her sister, so it was about time she stepped up and did her job.
Tessa was definitely worse off than she was. Still, she did keep taking her pills. Clara wasn’t sure if she still had nightmares anymore because she hardly found her sister awake the times she checked up on her, and when she did, Tessa was just lying there and staring off into space or crying. A couple of times, they had fallen asleep together on Tessa's bed as Clara hugged her for comfort while she cried herself to sleep. It was so heartbreaking, knowing that their grandmother was gone, and they had a hand in this.
But Clara couldn’t sleep for long. She slept in short bursts, only to jump awake and start moving her body again, even when it was dark. She wasn’t sure just how long she slept when she did fall asleep, but it couldn’t have been long because it really didn’t seem like time passed at all. At the same time she felt that it was moving too fast. Not that she paid it much mind. Because the one thing she couldn’t stand to do now was stay still. She didn’t want to fall into the same state as her sister, and she would do her best not to.
She was handling it in a different way from her sister. There had been some worry that she would lose herself to this, but Clara was actually past most of the initial grief. Now, she either felt hollow or angry at the reason for her grandmother's death. Because this was nothing like their parents dying at all. Theirs had been an accident that no one could have predicted. No one could have predicted what happened to Viola, either, but her life was taken by another human being.
They had gotten rid of the invaders, but that wasn’t nearly enough. The ones that came were killed and whatever they had with them taken from them. But wherever they'd come from, they'd had a plan to come here, and others that were a part of their plan were probably still there.
Even if there weren’t, Clara thought it was possible that people who knew the plan, still existed. She would love to get her hands on one of them and ask why they'd resorted to such tactics. They might have been desperate, but they weren’t the only ones. After all, what they were going through was widespread, not just in their town. No matter how they justified doing what they did, Clara could never forgive it.
They stayed locked away from the public and the well-meaning neighbors that came to offer their condolences. Cooper was the only one answering the door anymore, but it wouldn't be that way forever. Eventually, they would have to talk to other people. Viola's death had happened in view of a lot of people, most of whom she had known. They would be left alone for the time being because the people that were there had been witness to their grief.
It was hard to believe that it hadn't even been a whole day.
An officer came to the house some time later in the afternoon. Cooper was out, and she wasn’t sure when he would be back. When the knock came at the door, she was the one to answer it, finding a police officer standing on her doorstep. It was the woman that had given her the job when she left the police station.
"Officer, what can I do for you?" she asked politely, even though she real
ly would have rather the officer just left. She wasn’t in the mood to entertain, and she didn’t know why an officer would be coming to her house. She didn’t want it to be what she was thinking.
"I wanted to come by and ask why you haven't shown up for community service."
Ah. So that was what she came about. She had been preparing to send the officer off, but she probably needed to answer the question. It was strange, just a little, thinking of having duties when it felt like her life had ended not that long ago.
Clara had forgotten about that. It must have been a while for them to react this way, to send someone to her doorstep.
They must have been getting cautious. She'd missed several days before, back when she took time off to look after her sister as she started her medication, and no one had noticed then. Maybe, with how things were, they were keeping a closer rein on the townspeople, and offenders like herself. They must have sent someone to look for her and learned the truth while she was gone, that she had missed a lot of days already before she took up the position of street guard in her neighborhood.
Well, it wasn’t exactly like she could help it. She did have other responsibilities, and after what happened, she just didn’t feel like dealing with anyone outside of the house.
"I'm sorry, I completely forgot about that."
She could see the disapproval overtaking the woman's face, so she explained about the events of the previous night.
"There was an attack on our street. I was just going out on patrol and my sister and grandmother were outside with me. I was trying to get them inside when we heard a car pull up. A woman ran at us, and I shot her, only she shot my grandmother. Her body is… still in her room. We plan to bury it soon."
She said it all so calmly, she was actually surprised at herself that she could be so calm. Of course, the calm that she felt wasn’t real. There was nothing about the situation she was in that could possibly leave her calm. Her grandmother's body was lying in her bed. If Clara had the strength of will, she would have started digging a grave for her.
But with how things were, they would have to dig a grave in their backyard and bury their grandmother there. That idea did not appeal to her, though neither did she like just leaving the body alone where it was. She would have to decide on something and soon because she was already risking some mental scarring by not doing anything.
She returned her focus on the officer. This was not the time to be thinking about such things.
The officer's expression had changed to one of sympathy, almost pity, and Clara felt her hands clench at her sides. It was a look she'd hoped to never have pointed in her direction again, but she wasn’t fifteen years old this time, she could handle it because she had to.
"I am so sorry for your loss," the officer said with sincerity. "I'm afraid we haven't gotten the report from last night yet. I'm sorry to disturb you at a time like this. Please take all the time off you need."
"Thank you, officer," Clara said, offering a smile that fell almost immediately.
She didn’t have any intention of going into work anyway. She had been juggling her duties to the town and community service, taking fewer hours at the hospital and working the rotations on patrol duties to help her do so. Of course, she'd had to get permission to do that, but she still ended up missing quite a bit of time. It would have been too much, except she thrived under the pressure of it all because she was so determined to do everything.
That determination was all gone now, though. Just the thought of leaving her sister and her grandmother's body left her feeling a little sick.
But she knew she would have to as she said goodbye to the officer at the door.
"We'll also find a replacement for you to lead the street guard, you won't need to worry about that either for a time. Please get some rest, ma'am."
The officer left, leaving Clara standing there staring after her. That was right, she'd forgotten that detail as well, but it wasn’t like she minded. She realized that it would have bothered her a few days ago, being replaced, but now she couldn’t care less.
She was absolving herself of all responsibility to anyone else outside her family, at least for the time being. Whatever had driven her before was quiet.
Really, she must have let her guard down somehow after they won the last fight without much effort. She'd thought they would all come out okay, despite their opponent being bigger and stronger. That if they all worked together, nothing bad would happen. Well, casualties had been expected either way, on both sides, but she had never imagined it would be someone from her own family. And in such a careless way. Without knowing it, she'd let herself get complacent while worrying that others doing the same would be what did them in.
Really, it had been better when she still feared. Because that fear let her act. Confidence wasn’t helpful for her if it turned to overconfidence, and that must have been what she felt after they'd defeated their last enemies. Why she hadn't minded all that much that several people died because none of them were from her side. It wasn’t like that meant they couldn’t lose people, too.
And now, because of that, this had happened.
Clara returned to bed. Tessa was fed, and she'd taken a light snack. She didn’t feel like eating anything, but there was no reason to starve herself. Though she'd eaten a while ago and it was maybe afternoon then. Well, whatever. She didn’t care. She would just get something more when her body protested not getting fed.
Cooper came to check on her after a while and found her staring out of the window. She didn’t even have to check to know who it would be, he was the only one that would come to her room that still stayed around.
She couldn’t sleep. She'd gone a long time without nightmares, but she was starting to think it had been all luck. Because now when she closed her eyes, all she could see was Viola on the ground, blood pouring out of her chest and soaking Tessa's hands as she cried her heart out.
"Do you want anything to eat or drink?" he asked, getting closer to her on the bed.
"I'm busy." She didn’t even hesitate with her answer, and she could feel his incredulity.
"With what?"
"Coming up with a plan for revenge," she said.
"We don’t know where the people came from, Clara, and whether they acted alone."
But there had to be some connection she could find, wasn’t there? They seemed to plan their attacks too well. Clara wondered if they'd scoped them out before, or if the reason they had a specific reason for appearing at her street when they did.
"There is one thing I know. Both attacks on our street came from the west. It's not a lot, but it's a starting point, Cooper."
If there really was a possibility that both attacks came from the same direction, she would follow it. It was something to do other than just lying around doing nothing. She had every intention of following it, no matter what Cooper felt, or believed, or tried to tell her.
An objection wasn’t what came, though. Cooper sat with her, using a hand under her chin to get her to look up and meet his eyes. They were hardened, his whole expression tense, so different from the last time she'd seen him, and she remembered why she'd made this man her strength.
"I swear that I will support you with whatever you do, Clara," he said with urgency. "But please wait before acting. Whatever you're going to do, it doesn’t have to be right now. You have to think of yourself and your sister right now. Otherwise, your emotions will cloud your judgment."
She tightened her jaw. She couldn’t argue with that. She was feeling a little out of control already, feeling empty one moment, then consumed with rage another. She didn’t know how long it would take her to calm down from something like this, but she would channel her self-blame into hate and aim it in a safe enough direction.
"How could I forgive the people who murdered my grandmother in cold blood?" she asked. "Don’t fucking joke like that unless you want to make me angry. Of course, I'm going to do this, Cooper, and I can't wait like you're asking me to
. I don’t think I can. No matter what, I'll want to get my revenge. And as soon as possible so I can take down as many of these bastards as possible for everything they have done."
He had to have known that about her by now, after everything they'd been through. It might not have been like the recent her, but Clara had grown a little ruthless once the large calculated attacks started happening. She could see resignation fill his expression, though his eyes didn’t get any softer, so she knew he was still on her side, at least. Well, no matter. She planned to finish this when she could, and it would hopefully be soon.
She got out of bed and started to get dressed, not caring that he was there watching.
"I need to go out and find clues."
Chapter Twenty-One
"Let me go with you."
She stopped at Cooper's call. "What?"
"Please, Clara? You're going to look for clues, so let me go out with you."
Well, she couldn’t exactly say it was unexpected, but she really felt like going at this alone this time. Cooper was a crutch for her, and she had to stop using him as one at some point. She'd managed to find her own footing soon, but everything she'd worked on would be worth nothing if she just kept dragging him around with her.
"Could you just stay here for now?" she asked without turning around.
"What?" he said, like a mimic of what she had earlier, and she almost smiled.
"Tessa is still going to need some help. I don’t know what will happen if we're both not here. There won't be anyone to protect her."
Cooper had to stay and look after Tessa for her, at least. After all, he'd failed to stop Viola from leaving the house.
Stop it! she snapped at herself in her mind.
She was not going to turn any of the blame on Cooper. He was her friend. She offered him a place at her house, not as a tool to be used, but because she wanted him nearby and it would be beneficial to all of them. It wasn’t his job to be their babysitter, and he couldn’t have known anything would happen any more than she did. If there had been a way, she knew Cooper would have helped, might have even jumped in front of the bullet himself.
