Where Does My Heart Belong?
By Libby Kingsley
Copyright © 2013 Libby Kingsley
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any storage retrieval system without written permission from the author.
Where Does My Heart Belong? is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination, and are fictitiously used. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Publishing and cover art by Libby Kingsley
Contact: [email protected]
CHAPTER 1
May 1968
I’m 23 years old and working as a secretary for the County Road Department in Eagle Valley, Washington, when I first meet Norm Carlson. One of his friends, Andy, is a draftsman in my office and he came in with Andy one day. I was standing at the counter watching them laugh and joke as they came through the door. “Hey, Lib, how’s it hanging?” Andy jests. I ignore his crude remark and stare at the impeccably dressed, good-looking curly red-haired guy with sparkling blue eyes that is with him. Oh, my God, it’s him, the man from my dreams; dreams I’ve had off and on ever since I was about 16. I stare at him and he’s staring back at me with a shocked look on his face. “Excuse, me” I say, and run out the door to the restroom in the hall.
I’m hyperventilating and shaking. What in the world is going on? In my dream he’s standing way out in front of me with his arms outstretched, beckoning me to come to him. I can sense his love and longing for me. I run towards him, but just before I reach him, I wake up. It’s the same every time. At first, I only dreamed it about once a month, but as the years have gone by it’s been getting more and more frequent, now I have it almost every other night. I’ve always wondered what it meant because in the dream I feel that I know him, like my soul knows him; like he’s the one I’ve been waiting for to come back to me. I splash water on my face, dry it with a paper towel, and run my wet fingers through my long curly hair. When I’ve gotten myself under control, I step out into the hall. He’s there, waiting for me.
“You’re the one from my…I’ve dreamed about you,” he stammers.
“I’ve dreamed about you too, ever since I was 16. What’s going on here? What is this?”
“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. Listen, I want to see you again. I hate to be in a rush but I have to get back to work for a meeting. Here’s my card, give me your number and I’ll call you. My name is Norm Carlson, but most people call me Red.”
“I’m Libby Kingsley.” I gave him my number and he left. I looked at the card he’d given me. He’s a car salesman at our local Ford dealership.
Four days later, I still hadn’t heard from him and was trying to put the whole thing out of my mind but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I really wanted to see him again.
The next night my friend Beth and I were cruising around town in her new car when a car came up behind us and started flashing its lights and honking. We finally pulled over and so did the other car. I got out and so did the passenger in the other car and I saw that it was Andy.
“Hey, Lib, do you girls want to have a drink? We have some vodka here. If you want to, follow us.”
I looked at Beth and she said, “What the hell, why not, there’s nothing better to do.”
“Okay, lead the way,” I yelled back at him.
We started following them and then Beth said, "Who are those guys, anyways?”
"The guy who got out of the car is Andy, he works in my office. I can't imagine what he’s doing running around out here he's married, with two little kids. I couldn’t tell who the driver was."
"You mean you don't know what we're getting ourselves into? I don't think I like this now."
Beth is a very pretty girl, tall and slim with a quirky personality but she can be very prim and proper when she wants to. I was surprised when she agreed to go with them. I glance over at her pretty face; she’s frowning. She reaches up and runs a hand through her short dark brown hair, which is starting to go prematurely gray.
"Do you want to turn around and go back?" I ask her.
"No, but I hope that all they want to do is just have a drink."
We followed them to a secluded spot in the national forest. Andy asked us to get in their car and motioned for Beth to get in the back with him. When I opened the passenger side door and the dome light came on I saw that Red was driving. With my heart pounding, I got in the front seat with him.
“This is better than a phone call don’t you think? I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out a way to meet with you and this is perfect. Our wives are at a baby shower tonight so I don’t have to figure out some excuse to get out of the house.”
Married, he’s married, oh no. I guess I should’ve expected that, most men in my age group are. I don’t believe in going out with married men, there’s usually nothing but heartache in it from what I’ve seen from others who’ve done it. Besides, it’s just not right. I believe in the marriage vows and if people can’t keep them then they should just get divorced. What are these two guys up to anyways?
Andy fixes us drinks in paper cups and starts telling dirty jokes. He is a wild and crazy guy and sex is his favorite topic. I think maybe he’s drunk and when he takes Beth’s high heel shoe, pours vodka in it and drinks from it I’m sure he is. They are acting crazier and crazier back there. Red opens his door, gets out, and motions for me to follow him. I do and we move away from the car and sit on a log with our drinks.
“Let’s leave them alone. I want to talk about what happened the other day. Tell me what you felt when we met,” he says.
“I felt like I have known you forever, but I don’t know you, I’ve never seen you before, except in my dream. I felt like you are the one I’ve been waiting for all of my life.”
“Exactly, that’s how I felt too. I told my wife about it and she said that we were probably connected some way in another life. She believes in that kind of stuff. All I know is now that I’ve found you I don’t want to lose you.”
“There’s no way we can be together, you’re married. This is a small town; I’m not going to have everybody thinking that I’m cheating with a married man.”
“It won’t be like that. There won’t be any cheating. I’d never ask you to do that. We’ll figure out something. And as far as being married goes that may not be the case much longer. Carol and I married when she was 16 because I got her pregnant. We have two girls but the marriage has run its course. She wants to go to college and get an education so she can make a good life for herself and the girls. We’re trying to work out all the details before we file for divorce.”
Andy and Beth are out of the car laughing and wrestling around on the ground. So much for being prim and proper. Red goes over and tells Andy it’s time to go. I help Beth off the ground, and then Andy grabs her and bends her backwards, planting a giant lip lock on her. I shake my head in disbelief. Red puts his hands on my shoulders and kisses me on the forehead. “I’ll be in touch. Don’t worry; it’s all going to work out.”
Beth and I get in her car and watch them drive away. She asks me if I had a good time, do I like Red. I told her I thought he was great but I probably wouldn’t see him again since he’s married. Beth says that she is going to see Andy again, married or not, as she is head over heels for him. I tell her nothing good can come from dating married men but she doesn’t care.
The next day at work a deliveryman from the florist hands me a perfect white rose in a little crystal vase. There’s no card but I’m sur
e I know whom it’s from.
CHAPTER 2
All I can think about for the next few days is Red. I wonder if he’s the reason fate brought me to Eagle Valley. I was born and raised in Seattle but my parents moved here to north central Washington the summer before my senior year in high school after my Dad got a fabulous job offer he just couldn’t turn down. They dragged me kicking and screaming with them.
One Saturday morning, while I’m drying my long naturally curly dark brown hair, Beth calls, and starts bugging me to talk to Andy and set up another double date. I tell her I don’t want to be involved in it. “Oh, come on, Lib, you know you liked Red, and I could tell that he was crazy for you too. What did you do? Did you bat those big green eyes of yours at him, and cast a spell?”
“That’s exactly what happened, I cast a spell. He’s completely captivated with my tiny little curvy body” I joke. “I’m sorry, Beth, but I don’t want to get involved with a married man.”
“Just do it this one time for me and I’ll never ask again. I really want to see Andy again.”
“Okay, but then that’s it for me.”
The following week, Andy passes me a note at work saying that the wives are going to some kind of function Friday night so do Beth and I want to get together with them again.
I talk to him at lunch and tell him I don’t really want to since Red is married. He says Red is really looking forward to seeing me again and it’s not like we’re doing anything wrong since we’re not having sex. I tell him okay, but this is the last time. He and Beth are on their own after this. I call Beth and tell her, she’s ecstatic. We’ll be meeting them Friday night at 7:00 in the same place as last time.
When we get there Friday night, they have drinks and snacks all set up. We sit around a campfire, laughing and joking, enjoying each other’s company. Andy and Beth start kissing and making out, then they head for the backseat of the car. I hope Red doesn’t want to make out because I’m not doing it. But I don’t have to worry. He opens the trunk of the car and takes out a guitar case.
“Come on, let’s go over and sit on our log. I’ll play for you; maybe even sing if you promise not to laugh. Do you play, do you sing?”
I tell him I don’t play guitar but I sing. He starts out with Peter, Paul & Mary’s Blowin’ in the Wind and he’s good, really good. I join in on the 4th verse and we finish the song together.
“Geez, Libby, you’ve got one heck of a voice. You could record. Have you ever thought about it?”
“Been there, done that, and it’s not for me. I’ve played accordion professionally and been on stage since I was 14. My Dad got me a one record deal once that was a total disaster. I couldn’t get along with the producer and vocal coach when they started telling me what kind of songs I had to sing, and how to sing them. I guess you can say we had creative differences. I was such bitch to them that the record deal never happened and I vowed never again.”
“Listen, there’s this benefit concert coming up in a couple of months for a little kid who has leukemia, his parents are about to lose everything. Sing in the concert for me. I’m promoting it and I could use someone to help me set the whole thing up, someone who knows something about the business. It’s for a great cause and it will give us a chance to be together without sneaking around like this.”
“What’s your wife going to think of this?”
“She’ll love it. If I can’t find anyone else then she’ll have to do it and she doesn’t have the time with working and taking care of the girls. I promise you it will be okay.”
I tell him I’ll help him but as far as performing goes, it will be my way or no way at all. I want to choose my own song and my own band. If he can’t agree to that, it’s no deal.
“You’ve got it. Now let’s do some more singing. Do you know any country songs? That’s mainly what I play.”
“The only one I can probably remember the words to is Patsy Cline’s Crazy. I usually sing pop, I never even heard of country before I moved here.”
“So, let’s do Crazy.”
After I’ve finished singing, he just shakes his head in amazement. “Girl, you could be Patsy Cline, I’ve never heard any other female singer sing that song like you just did. You really need to re-think having a career in the business.”
“Is that what you want, a singing career?”
“At one time, yes, when I was still in high school, but then I messed everything up when I had to get married. I still dream about it though.” Then he puts his arm around me and pulls me against him. I rest my head on his chest and feel like I could stay this way forever. I may have just met him in this lifetime but I think that our souls have known each other forever.
“Come on. Let’s roust those two out of the backseat. I’ll talk to Carol and make sure she’s on board with you working with me. He kisses me on my cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow night and let you know what she says.”
CHAPTER 3
It’s been 5 days since our double date and Red didn’t call the next night like he said he would. I wonder if he’s changed his mind, or maybe Carol changed it for him. I wish he’d call. If he doesn’t call by the end of the week, I’m going to call him at the car dealership. He did send another rose, though, a yellow one this time.
Finally, I talk to Andy and ask him if he’s heard from Red. He said they both have trouble on the home front. His wife, Sharon, could tell he had sex with someone that night we all went out and went ballistic. She is determined to find out who it was. She told Carol, and Carol had a fit, accusing Red of the same thing, which he denied. I don’t need this kind of crap. Even though I want to get to know Red better, I’m starting to think that I should never have gotten myself messed up in it in the first place. His wife will probably never believe we didn’t do anything wrong.
Beth has been out of town for her job all week so she most likely doesn’t have a clue about what’s going on. She will be majorly upset and I hope she is. Like I told her, nothing good can come from screwing around with a married man.
The next day Andy tells me that Red wants to meet me at my apartment on Friday at noon so we can talk. I told him to tell him that I’ll be there.
On Friday, I go home for lunch to wait for him but he’s already there parked out front waiting for me. I let him into my apartment and he hugs me.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called. Things got a little crazy after Sharon told Carol about Andy having sex with someone. Carol thought I was doing it too.”
“I think we should put a stop to this right now. I don’t want to be involved in it anymore.”
“No, just wait, it’s going to be okay. Carol is still talking about that past life connection that she thinks we have. I told her that it was you I was with the other night, and that all we did was sing together. She believed me. She’s not mad, once she found out it was you, she was okay with it. She’s also on board with you working on the benefit with me. She wants to meet you and I want you to meet my girls. She wants us to all get together for a picnic in the park.”
“Oh, boy, this is too much. I don’t know if I’m ready for all this.”
“I know, but I think we should do it. You’re going to have to meet her eventually anyway if you’re going to work on the benefit with me. I think a picnic in the park is the perfect place for a first meeting.”
“All right, but if it doesn’t turn out well, I’m done. When do we have to start working on the benefit?”
“Soon, within the next couple of weeks and I want to do it at my place. That’s another reason I want you and Carol to meet beforehand, and I still want you to sing. Have you given any thought to a song choice and who you want for a band?”
“Yeah, I’ve been racking my brain about it and have pretty much decided to sing Roy Orbison’s In Dreams. I want to use The Real Americans. I talked to Johnny Rainwater and he was all for it. He’s one of my best friends and I’ve sung with him a lot. We’re going to need a place to practice though.”
“Gr
eat, they’re going to be the house band anyway. Decide when you want to practice and I’ll arrange for you to have the auditorium at the performing arts center.”
“How bad is the situation with Andy and Sharon?”
“Bad, this may be the end for them. This is not the first time that he cheated on her. I hope we can keep Beth’s name out of it. Carol asked me who she was but I told her I didn’t know her. I made it sound as if Andy invited both of you separately so she wouldn’t think you and Beth were friends. I hope she doesn’t ask you about it.”
“If she does, I’ll just tell her that I’m not getting involved in it. Sharon can do her own sleuthing. If she finds out who Beth is then Beth will just have to suffer the consequences. I told her not to get involved with a married man but she wouldn’t listen.”
“I wish I could stay longer but I’ve got a one o’clock appointment so I need to get back to work now. I’ll call you and let you know when Carol wants to have the picnic. It will probably be on a Sunday because sometimes she has to work on Saturdays.”
"Oh, one more thing, are you still having the dream?"
"No, are you?"
"No, I'm not, I wonder what that means."
"It means we don't need it anymore, we've found each other now."
He hugs me and I walk him to the door. I wish he didn’t have to go. “Think positive,” he says. “I don’t want to lose you. I just know that everything is going to turn out okay.”
I don’t want to lose him either but I’m not as confident as he is that we’re all going to wind up being one big happy family.
CHAPTER 4
A few days later, Red calls and says they want to have the picnic the following Sunday. We’ll be meeting at the Eagle River Park at noon. I told him I would bring a fruit salad. I’m not a cook so that will be easy, just a can of fruit cocktail, some mandarin oranges and a banana all mixed together with strawberry/orange yogurt. Geez, I am so nervous about all of this.
Where Does My Heart Belong? Page 1
