On Sunday, I put my salad in a cooler with ice and head out. They’re already at the park when I get there. I sit in my car for a bit and look at them. Carol is beautiful, petite like me with long straight dark brown almost black hair. The younger girl has red hair like her Dad and the older one looks more like Carol. I get out of the car and walk over to them. Red takes the cooler from me and introduces us. Carol comes over, gives me a hug, and says, “Welcome.” The little girls crowd around me and introduce themselves. They are so cute. Lynn is 8 and Tammy is 6.
Carol gives me a glass of iced tea and tells me to sit down and relax. She’s got everything set up on the table and is just waiting for Red to finish grilling the hot dogs. The girls want to know if they can touch my hair and I tell them sure. They spend a couple of minutes running their small hands through it and examining my dangly earrings.
“Oh, gosh,” says Lynn. “What happened to your head? There’s a big scar up here and it’s dented in.” Everyone looks at me.
“I got hurt when I was 12 and had to have an operation,” I tell her. “That’s one of the reasons why I wear long hair, to cover it up.”
“I wanna see,” Tammy says. So Lynn parts my hair and everybody looks at my scar. I hope they don’t ask me what happened because that’s one story I never talk about. Carol, bless her heart, realizes that I’m uncomfortable and tells the girls, “That’s enough now, get ready to eat.”
The food is good and the little girls chatter and giggle throughout the meal, they make an uncomfortable situation for me bearable. After we’ve finished eating, Carol invites me to come back to the house with them.
“Red says you’re going to be working on the benefit with him so come get acquainted. You’ll probably be spending a lot of time there.”
“Are you really okay with this?” I ask her.
“You bet. If you won’t do it, then I’ll have to and I don’t have the time with working and looking after the girls. Besides I’d like to get to know you better, this past life connection you have to Red has me intrigued. I’ve always believed in reincarnation and read lots of books about it but I’ve never met anyone who has experienced it. I want to know more.”
I help her pack up the food and follow them home. They have a modest 3-bedroom house but it looks like it was decorated by a professional.
“Did you do all of this?” I ask her.
“Yup, I love interior design. It’s something that comes naturally to me.”
“It’s fabulous. Now I know who to call if I ever get my own place.”
“Anytime, I’m your go-to girl.”
Red has converted their garage into a music studio. There’s a piano, guitars, amps and a microphone.
“Can you sing?” Lynn asks. “I can, want to hear?”
“Yes, I sing and I would love to hear you.”
She turns the microphone on and starts singing What a Friend I Have in Jesus.
Holy shit can this kid sing. My mother used to joke that I came out of the womb singing but I never sounded anything like her when I was 8 years old. This girl has a natural gift and with the right training, there’s no telling how far she could take it.
When she’s finished, I clap and cheer. “Wow, you are amazing, you definitely have the gift. Will you sing a duet with me sometime?”
“Can I Mama, can I? I want to hear you sing, Libby.”
“Okay, I’ll do In Dreams, the one I’m going to sing at the benefit, if I can remember all the words, I haven’t practiced it much yet.”
“It will have to be a Capella,” Red says. “I don’t know it.”
So I sing In Dreams for them. When I’m done, everybody cheers and Red is standing there gaping at me.
“Geez, Lib, I heard you sing the other night and I thought you were great but girl that was nothing compared to this. I’ll tell you once again, you need a recording contract.”
“Nope, and I told you, been there, done that and I didn’t like it. We’ll save the contracts for Miss Lynn here.”
Lynn comes over and hugs me. “I want to sing so bad with you sometime. I bet we’ll bring the house down.” I don’t doubt that for a minute and in the back of my mind, I have a plan.
I turn to all of them. “I think it’s time I got going, thank you all for the picnic and inviting me to your home. I’m looking forward to seeing you all again.” They all gather around and hug me.
“Let’s get together here one night next week and go over what I have so far on the benefit,” Red says. “I’ll call you.”
I drive home happy and relieved. It turned out great. I’m glad I took his advice and met Carol and the girls.
CHAPTER 5
I can’t wait to go back to Red’s and see Lynn again. My plan is that I want her to sing a duet with me at the benefit as a surprise for her parents. I’m not sure how I’m going to pull this off but I need to talk to her first and see if she’s willing. I want us to sing God Bless America for the finale.
A week after the picnic, Carol calls and tells me that Red wants me to come over the next night so we can get started on the benefit. “Come for dinner at 6:00,” she says. I tell her that I’ll be there.
When I get there, Red’s not home yet and Carol’s in a panic. She’s a beautician and one of her clients tried to dye her own hair and it turned orange. Carol has to go back to the shop and asks me if I will feed the girls and babysit them until Red gets home. This is perfect. I can talk to Lynn without them knowing about it.
I tell the girls my plan while we’re eating dinner. Lynn is thrilled; she wants to do it. “But the surprise part won’t work,” she tells me. “Tammy has a big mouth and couldn’t keep a secret if her life depended on it.”
“Can too,” Tammy, says. “Did you know I like Good Humor ice cream bars?”
Blackmail. I’m about to be blackmailed by a 6 year old. “How many will it take?” I ask her.
“I don’t know I’ll have to wait and see.”
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do. Now Lynn here’s a cassette with the song and here’s a paper with the words. It’s just two verses and we’ll be repeating one of them so it shouldn’t be too hard to memorize. But we’re going to have to find a place to practice.”
“I can learn the song on my own. I sing all kinds of stuff. They won’t get suspicious.”
Just then, Red comes through the door. “Put that away,” I whisper to Lynn and she heads for her room.
“What’s going on? Where’s Carol?” I tell him that she had to go back to the shop and that I’ve fed the girls.
“Have you eaten? I’ll fix you a plate. It’s good, Carol can really cook.”
“Yeah, please, and then we can get to work.”
We work until Carol gets home at 8:00 and then I leave, agreeing to come back next week. But it will probably be sooner. I have to figure out a way to get those damn ice cream bars to Tammy.
On Saturday, I go to Safeway, pick up a box of the ice cream bars, and drop them off. “In payment for dinner the other night,” I tell Carol. “I hope you’re okay with it. Tammy told me they were her favorite.”
“No problem. The girls will be thrilled.”
The following Tuesday evening Lynn calls me. “We’re going to be home alone for about 30 minutes, from 7:00 until 7:30. The car that Daddy was driving broke down. Mama has to go get him. Tammy wants more ice cream.”
Holy shit, the benefit is 6 weeks away; at this rate, she’ll probably have me bankrupt by then. But I get in my car and make a run to the store. I get two boxes but only give one of them to the girls. I’ll take the second one with me on Thursday when I go over to work with Red.
I don’t get to spend much time with the girls on Thursday as Red was home when I got there and wanted to get right to work but Lynn whispers that she’s been practicing and has the words memorized. Good girl. I can’t wait to see the expression on her folk’s faces when I bring her on stage.
A few days later, my plan is shot down. When I ask the benefit’s
lawyer about it, he tells me I can’t bring a minor on stage without parental consent. I knew that was the case in larger venues but I thought I might be able to get away with it here since Red was the promoter but no dice. I just hope Red and Carol will say yes. Lynn will be crushed if they don’t let her. I probably shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up without talking to them first.
I call Carol and tell her I need to talk to her and Red as soon as possible. She tells me to come to dinner on Saturday. When I get there, Red wants to know what’s going on. “You’re not doing the benefit, is that it?”
“No, that’s not it.” And I tell them that I wanted Lynn to sing with me and make it a surprise for them but the lawyer said no, not without parental consent.
“Please, Daddy, please, we’re so good together,” Lynn, begs. Red looks at Carol and she nods her head yes. I look at Red and put my hands together prayer like under my chin.
“Okay, but I need to know all about it, song choice, band members, what she’s going to wear, everything.”
“Thank you, Daddy, thank you, you won’t be sorry. We’re going to blow them away.”
I tell them my plan. We’ll be using The Real Americans. Do I have to tell them my song choice? I want something to be a surprise. Yes, he needs to know it all. So I tell him, God Bless America, and I want to do it for the finale but if she’s too nervous to wait that long I’ll put her on after I do my number. I’ll let her decide. I want her dressed as a young lady, not a rock star, nothing sexy or punk. I have one dress in mind that I saw in a store window the other day, a navy blue sheath that will come just below her knees, with a red sash and white shoes. When I introduce her, she will be sitting in the audience with Carol and either I will come down and get her or have one of the event staff bring her up. When she’s finished singing, I’d like the whole family up on stage.
“So, what do you think?” I ask. “Do we have a deal?”
“We have a deal,” and they both hug me.
CHAPTER 6
August 1968
We’ve got about 5 weeks until the concert and things are coming along well. Fifteen acts have booked with us and that’s enough. We want to keep it under 2 hours and this is doable with a maximum of 5 minutes per act and stage set-ups.
Red and I work well together. We always seem to know what the other one is thinking and finish each other’s sentences. Just being around him makes my life feel complete. I never want to be away from him. If he wasn’t my soul mate in another life then he sure is in this one. One day he whispered to me, “I remember” but the phone rang and I didn’t get to ask him what he meant.
Andy and Beth are still carrying on. Sharon has never figured out who Beth is but she has had enough and is planning to divorce Andy. Another couple with little kids is going to be torn apart. It makes me sick. At least Red has enough respect for me and his family not to try to take our relationship to another level. I love his little girls and Carol has become my friend. I could never do anything that would hurt them.
About two weeks before the benefit my good friend and former vocal coach, Eileen, calls me from Seattle to chitchat. She says that she’s going on vacation and wants to come and see me for a couple of days. I tell her all about Lynn and the benefit concert. “Good Lord, Libby, plan on me being there for a week. I would love to meet this child and hear her sing. Give me the name of a good hotel so I can make a reservation.”
“Don’t worry about a hotel, you can stay with me, I have a spare bedroom. With all of the acts that are going to be in town, you probably won’t be able to get one anyways. Just let me know when you’re going to be here. I can’t wait to see you. ”
“I’ll come on the Monday before the concert, and tell Lynn and her family that I will do their hair and make-up if they want me to.” Besides being a vocal coach, Eileen is a fabulous hair stylist. The majority of her clients are women who play and sing professionally.
“I’ll tell them and I’m sure they’ll be thrilled. Oh, wow, I can’t believe you’re really going to be here. Let’s talk again before you leave, I love you my friend.”
“I love you too, Libby, and I’ll call you before I hit the road.”
I tell Carol about Eileen and that she has offered to do all our hair and makeup. “Praise the Lord,” she says. “I need a new look and I’m sick of doing it myself.” She tells me that she has chosen a short pink silk sheath with matching suede boots to wear. I know Eileen will make her look fabulous. I’m going to wear a short fitted sparkly dark green dress with white sparkly 3 inch heels, but God knows what Eileen will be able to do with my mop. Lynn will wear the navy blue sheath I got for her and Tammy wants to wear jeans and cowboy boots but we’re working on that.
On the day of the concert, we are all nervous, but Eileen has taken us over calming us with her laid-back way and professionalism. She’s put light make-up, eye shadow, and lipstick on the girls, leaving their hair natural. But Carol is another story. Eileen has pulled her long thick black hair away from her face and done it up in an exotic curly pony tail. It cascades down her back like a waterfall. She’s gorgeous. I do my own hair and make-up and after I’m done, we find our seats in the front row about 6:45, fifteen minutes before the benefit stars. I’ll be sitting with Carol and the girls until it’s my turn on stage. I’m going 12th so I’ve got about an hour to enjoy the other acts.
When my turn comes I belt out Roy Orbison’s In Dreams, get a standing O and then stretch my right arm out towards Lynn. She shakes her head, no. She wants to do the finale.
When it’s time for the finale. I go up on the stage and introduce her.
“About 6 weeks ago I met a young lady with an incredible voice and I’ve asked her to sing a duet with me tonight. It’s her first time singing for an audience and you are all in for a real treat. Her name is Lynn Carlson. Lynn, come on up here.” One of the event staff brings her on stage and I bend down to hug her.
“How old are you Lynn?”
“I’m 8.”
“And you’re going to sing God Bless America?”
“Yes, but I’m a little nervous,” she says.
“It’s going to be wonderful, just like we practiced.”
I hand her a microphone and signal to the band. The music starts and we sing the first three lines together, then I step back and let her have center stage. Her voice soars, it’s perfect. After the first verse I take her hand and we walk across the stage singing the first 3 lines together again. When we reach the end of the stage we turn and start back. I let go of her hand and follow behind her, my microphone down at my side. She’s really into it; she doesn’t need me now. She finishes with the words ‘My Home Sweet Home’ in front of Carol and Tammy and the crowd goes wild, they’re on their feet clapping and cheering. Her first standing O, but it sure won’t be her last. She’s ecstatic, grinning from ear to ear. She runs over and hugs me.
Tammy rushes onto the stage and grabs her sister; they hold each other and jump up and down. I see Red coming from the wings and Carol is on her way up the stairs. They hug and kiss their daughter while I hug Tammy. Then I go over and thank the band. The crowd is still cheering, chanting “more, more.”
Red goes to the microphone and thanks the audience for coming, reminding them that we’ll be here again tomorrow night.
The following night is a great success too. After it’s all over, I find out that we raised more than $8,000.00 for that little boy with leukemia and his parents.
CHAPTER 7
September 1968
A week after the concert Carol calls and asks me to have lunch with her in the park. She tells me she is filing for divorce and moving to Seattle in 2 weeks. She has family there and she’ll be going to college. I break down and cry.
“It’s not your fault,” she tells me. “It has nothing to do with you. Red and I have been over for a long time, long before you met him. I know you guys want to be together so now’s your chance.” I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“I still w
ant us to be friends,” she says. “I’ll keep in touch and maybe you can come visit sometime. Red’s going to stay in the house until it’s sold and then we’ll split the money. This is what we both want. Take care of him, he’s a good man, but he can really get off track with his drinking sometimes.” She hugs me, tells me she loves me, and then gets in her car and leaves.
I am devastated. I want to see Red but I’m not going to hunt him down, I’ll wait until he calls me. I don’t have to wait long, he calls later that night, and he sounds like he’s been drinking.
“Did she tell you?”
“Yes, and I’m devastated.”
“Don’t be, we all knew this was coming. I told you that the first time we were together. I want to see you. Can I come over?”
“No, I think we should wait until she’s moved to Seattle.”
“I’m not staying at the house right now. The kids think I’m on a business trip so no one will be the wiser.”
“Okay, but you can’t stay all night. I’m not doing that.”
“I’m not asking you to, I’ll be there shortly.”
When he gets here I’m crying. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me down on the couch, cuddling me and wiping the tears from my face. He’s brought a bottle half full of whiskey and I want it. I take it from him, twist off the cap and take a drink. “Have one more,” he says. “It will pick you up.” So I do. And I start to feel better.
“What now?” I say.
“What now? I want to be with you, love you, take you out, bring you flowers, court you, show you off to my friends, and never let you go.”
I’m crying again. I want that too. He gets up, rummages through my cupboard for glasses, then mixes us both another drink. I can tell he’s had way too much to drink already. He sits down next to me on the couch and puts his arm around me, his other hand on my cheek pulling me towards him. He kisses me softly. It’s our first real kiss. I’ve only kissed 2 other men in my life so I’m not very experienced and I’m afraid he can tell. He kisses me again and all of a sudden I do remember. I have kissed this man before, a long, long time ago in another life.
Where Does My Heart Belong? Page 2
