Within Reach

by Barbara Delinsky

  The clerk continued. “On indictment number 85-2344, is the defendant guilty or not guilty?”

  “Not guilty.”

  Danica didn’t hear the murmur this time because her pulse was pounding.

  “On indictment number 85-2345, is the defendant guilty or not guilty?”

  “Not guilty.”

  Danica’s eyes were round when the clerk spoke a final time. “On indictment number 85-2346, is the defendant guilty or not guilty?”

  The forelady raised her chin and took a last breath. “Not guilty.”

  For a moment there was total silence. Then the courtroom erupted into a cacophony of excitement. Blake, smiling broadly, vigorously shook hands with, then hugged, each of his lawyers. Then he turned to Danica and she was in his arms, holding him tightly.

  “I’m so glad for you!” she cried, her voice broken as tears of relief and genuine happiness welled in her eyes.

  “We did it, Pook. We really did it.” There was something akin to wonder in his tone, but she was too emotionally keyed up to analyze its cause, and he was separating himself from her, at his lawyers’ request, so that he might nod his thanks to the jurors as they filed out of the courtroom, then shake hands with the prosecutorial team.

  Moments later Danica, Blake, Jason and Ray were facing the press outside the courtroom.

  “How do you feel, Mr. Secretary?”

  “Delighted,” Blake answered. “Our system of justice has prevailed. I feel fully exonerated.”

  “Did you have any doubts about what the verdict would be?”

  “I was confident that my attorneys could convey the truth to the jury.”

  “Will you be returning to the Department?”

  “I hope so. I’ll be talking with the President later.”

  “Mrs. Lindsay, this must be a great relief for you.”

  Danica smiled. “Very great.”

  “What are your immediate plans? Will you and your husband be taking some time off together before he returns to work?”

  Blake answered for her, quickly but smoothly and flashing his brightest smile. “I believe we’ll have to come down off this cloud before we can make any plans.”

  Jason cut in before the next question could come. “Ladies and gentlemen, the Lindsays are happy but tired. If you’ll excuse us now, I think they’d like some privacy.”

  Danica felt herself being swept toward the elevator. She clutched Blake’s arm and leaned close to his ear. “I have to get to a phone.”

  “We’ll go back to Jason’s office.”

  “No, here.” She made no effort to hide her urgency. “Isn’t there one I can use?”

  Blake gave her a guarded look, then turned to Jason. “Danica has to call her parents. Can we go down the hall for a minute?”

  With a nod, Jason reversed their direction and led them through the crowded corridor to the small room they had often used during recesses. He and Blake stood talking by the door while Danica picked up the phone and, fingers trembling, dialed Michael’s number. When the operator came on, she said simply, “Collect from Danica Lindsay.”

  He picked up the phone after a single ring. “Yes?”

  “I have a collect call from—”

  “Yes. I’ll take it.…Dani?”

  She felt her insides melt, and sank into a chair. “It’s over,” she breathed, putting her hand up to cover tear-filled eyes. “Not guilty on all counts.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, that’s great! I’m thrilled! Congratulations!”

  Danica wanted to say so much, but her throat was tight and she knew it wasn’t the time or place. She spoke slowly and with effort. “Blake and Jason are with me now.”

  “And you can’t talk. I understand. I’m just so happy for you. For us!”

  She smiled through her tears. “Me, too.”

  “What are the plans now? When will I see you?”

  “I’ll have to…let me call you later. I just wanted to tell you.”

  “Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll be waiting. Everything’s going to be so wonderful. I love you.”

  “Me, too,” she whispered. “Talk with you later.” Mouthing a kiss, since her back was to Blake and Jason, she quietly pressed the disconnect button, then dialed her mother’s number.

  When she finally hung up the phone and turned, she brushed the tears from her cheeks.

  “Is everything okay?” Blake asked cautiously.

  Danica nodded and smiled weakly. She knew Blake had to have heard that she had made two calls, but she felt no compulsion to discuss the first with him, and she knew that he would never bring it up himself in front of Jason. “Mom was ecstatic. She says to tell you how pleased she is and that she’ll call Dad right away. She asked if we wanted to celebrate with them over dinner and I told her that we’d probably be with Jason and Ray.” She sent an apologetic glance toward Jason, who promptly put her at ease with a broad smile.

  “That’s exactly where you will be.” He rubbed his hands together. “This is a victory for all of us. Let’s make it good!”

  It was much later that night before Danica was able to call Michael back.

  “I’m sorry it’s so late—” she began, only to be interrupted.

  “Don’t be silly.…You sound beat.”

  “I am. It’s like everything—all the tension and worry and excitement and relief—was suspended and now it’s suddenly fallen in on me.” She settled back on the bed and threw an arm across her eyes. “We went back to Jason’s office after I spoke with you, then out to dinner. I have an awful headache. But I am pleased for Blake.”

  “I saw him on television. He looked properly victorious.”

  “Oh, yes. In hindsight he saw that the verdict couldn’t have possibly gone any other way.”

  “Back to his old self, eh?”

  “Very much so.”

  “Dani, when will you be up?”

  On a burst of strength, she spoke more forcefully. “I’m leaving here tomorrow, as soon as I can get packed.”

  “Have you told Blake?”

  “I’ll tell him in the morning.”

  “Do you think he’ll give you any trouble?”

  “I don’t think so. In spite of all his chest-puffing, he treated me with kid gloves today. He must have an inkling of what’s coming. I’m sure he knew it was you I called this afternoon.”

  “Maybe I should fly down.”

  “No, Michael. I need to do this myself. And there’s really nothing that can go wrong. Even if Blake gives me an argument, my mind is set. I’ve given him more than he deserves. And I do have that ace in the hole.”

  “Will you use it?”

  “If he gives me the slightest problem, you bet I will. He’ll agree to a divorce, Michael. It’s over. Our future’s beginning.”

  Michael let out a long sigh of relief. “I love you so much. That future’s going to be stupendous.”

  She smiled. “I know.”

  “I’ll drive down and meet you at Logan.”

  “No. I’m driving the Audi up.”

  “From Washington? Oh, sweetheart, that’s not such a good idea. It’s a long trip, and in your condition—”

  “My condition will be wonderful once I get done what I need to do here. Besides, I need the winding-down time. The drive will do me good.”

  “Let me fly down and drive up with you, then.”

  “No.” Her voice softened. “Just be there waiting. That’s all I need, Michael. I’ll be there the day after tomorrow. Just be waiting.”

  “I will, love. I will.”

  The following morning Danica was up early, packing her bags, listening for Blake, who had left even earlier to play squash. She knew that he was meeting with the President later that morning, though she also knew that the outcome of the meeting was irrelevant to her own plans.

  She had the Audi nearly packed and was bringing down her overnight bag and purse when Blake came in the front door. He took one look at her, at her bag and purse, then set his jaw and walk
ed past her into the den.

  She followed him, coming to a halt just inside the room. He had his back to her and was staring out the window.

  “I’ll be leaving now, Blake,” she said quietly but with conviction. When he said nothing, she went on. “I’ll be taking the Audi—”

  “Don’t, Danica.” He turned. “Don’t leave.”

  “You knew I was planning to.”

  “But I thought, after all this and, well, you seemed so happy with the acquittal…”

  “I am happy with it, but it’s over. All of it.”

  He didn’t miss the deeper meaning of her words. “It doesn’t have to be. We could try to make a go of it.”

  She was shaking her head, smiling sadly. “It’s too late for that. There’s no point.”

  “We had something once.”

  “But it’s gone now. It’s been gone for a long, long time.” She was surprised by the soft, almost pleading nature of his tone, but it couldn’t affect her. “I’ll wait about a month until things calm down here before I see my lawyer. He’ll be in touch with yours to discuss the divorce.”

  “I don’t want a divorce.”

  She ignored him. “I’ll probably fly somewhere where I can get it quickly. I’d like things taken care of before the baby’s born.”

  “I don’t want a divorce.”

  “Blake, this isn’t your baby.”

  “I can live with that. It’s the divorce I can’t live with.”

  “You don’t have any choice.”

  “I certainly do. I’m your husband. Besides, what do you think it’ll look like if you take off like this one day after the trial?”

  “It’ll look like I’m exhausted and need to recuperate at our house in Maine.”

  “And the divorce? What do I say about that?”

  “You say that the strain of the trial was too much.”

  “Bull. It has nothing to do with the trial. You had your mind made up when you first came down here.”

  She tipped up her chin a fraction. “You’re right. I was going to demand a divorce before all this happened. Now I don’t have to demand it. You’ll give it to me. Quickly and quietly.”

  He eyed her strangely. “How do you know that?”

  Taking that proverbial ace from its hole, she very slowly turned it over. “Because I know about you and Harlan, Blake. I was fooled for a long time, but now I know.” She found some satisfaction in his sudden loss of color but no joy in furthering her point. Yet she felt it was necessary. “I only wish you could have told me yourself. I might have understood if you’d done that. Instead, you used me, even though you knew I had a chance for happiness elsewhere. I won’t be used again, Blake. It’s as simple as that.”

  Though his jaw was clenched, there was little force to his words. “Harlan got to you.”

  “Indirectly, I suppose.” She saw no point in elaborating.

  His voice cracked faintly. “It’s over, Danica. It was over long before he was killed.”

  “But there’ve been others, and there’ll be others again. And I have a new life to lead, one that I want, one that’s waiting for me.”

  Blake looked at the floor, then slowly raised his gaze. “And if I decide to fight?”

  “It’ll all come out in court. I don’t think you’ll want another trial, particularly once you’ve considered what the testimony will entail.”

  He stared at her, then leaned back against the desk, which was as close as he could come to sagging in defeat. Sensing that there was little left to be said, Danica shouldered her purse and lifted her bag.

  “Thelma can pack the rest of my things and send them on later. I’ll be seeing the doctor in Boston tomorrow. After that I’ll be in Maine. I hope all goes well with your meeting today,” she said softly. “I’m sure I’ll hear one way or another.”

  For a final moment, she stood looking at the man who had been her husband for better than ten years. Strangely, she felt neither anger nor resentment, but rather a kind of melancholy. He was so very handsome, so very talented. And they had been so very wrong for each other.

  Bowing her head, she turned and left the house, aware of the finality of it all, of the fact that she was putting a lengthy, if painful, part of her life behind her. Only after several moments’ respite in the car did she feel composed enough to drive. She still had another stop to make, and thought of this one unsettled her more because, though it wouldn’t immediately affect her future, its outcome did touch her heart.

  In a twist of fate that Danica took to be promising, William Marshall was available. He was sitting at his large oak desk, studying position papers his aides had prepared when his secretary buzzed him to announce Danica’s arrival. Rising, he met Danica at the door.

  “Well, girl, you did it.” He smiled broadly. “You and Blake both.”

  “We did at that,” she said quietly.

  He shut the door and motioned to a chair. “Sit down, Danica. You shouldn’t be standing around in your condition.” He eyed her belly. “You’re really beginning to look it now.”

  She put a reassuring, perhaps protective, hand on her stomach, but she didn’t sit. “I can’t stay long. I want to get as much driving done as I can today.”

  He frowned. “Driving? Where are you going?”

  “I’m going home.”

  “Home?” He was standing before her, his eyes darkening. “This is home. I thought you realized that by now.”

  “Home for me is in Maine. With Michael.”

  William came close to exploding. “With Michael! Have you lost your senses? Your place is with Blake. You’ve stood beside him through this whole ordeal, and now that it’s over the two of you should be able to patch up whatever differences you may have had. Blake still has a solid future in this town. Besides, you can’t leave him. You’re carrying his child!”

  She raked her teeth across her lower lip. “No, Daddy. I’m not.”

  He glanced at her belly again, then her face. “What in the hell are you saying?”

  “You know. Think. How could this child possibly be Blake’s when Michael’s the one I’ve been with most, when Michael’s the one I love?”

  “It’s his child?” When she nodded, he cursed. “I’ll kill the bastard!”

  “No, you won’t. He loves me and he loves this child, and he’s going to make both of us very, very happy. I’d think you’d be grateful to him for that. After all, I’m your daughter and this will be your grandchild.”

  “It was supposed to be Blake’s!”

  “No,” she said sadly. “You wanted it to be Blake’s, that’s all.”

  “Does he know?”

  “Blake? He’s known all along.”

  “And he sat back and took it?”

  “I was serving his purposes. That was all that mattered to him.”

  “Why wasn’t I told?”

  “It wasn’t your business then. It is now only because I want you to understand why I’m leaving Blake. Don’t you see? I love Michael! Blake and I have nothing left. Nothing!”

  “He won’t let you go. He needs you here.”

  “He’s letting me go. We’ve already talked and it’s settled.”

  William stalked to the far side of the room, then swiveled to face her. His eyes were hard, and her heart sank. She had hoped he would yield, that he would defer to her judgment for once. Obviously, he wasn’t going to do that.

  “You’re being very stupid, Danica. Blake is in a position of power and prominence, both of which can rub off on you. He has it over Buchanan any day.”

  It was one thing for him to put her down, quite another for him to do so to Michael. “You’re wrong,” she said in a warning tone. “You don’t know the facts.”

  “Well, enlighten me!” he roared as he threw his hands out and paced back from the side of the room. “If you think you’re so wise, tell me. And don’t give me that hogwash about love, because it’s flighty and feminine and it won’t get you anywhere in this world.”

>   “That,” Danica responded angrily, “depends on where you want to go.”

  “You’re sure gonna go nowhere, girl. You could’ve been on top with your tennis, and you quit. Now you’re doing the same thing all over again. What’s the matter with you? Haven’t you learned anything in thirty-odd years on this earth?”

  “I’ve learned plenty,” Danica retorted, her eyes blazing right back at William’s. “I’ve learned that you and I have very different definitions of what ‘being on top’ means, and that while your definition may be just fine for you, it’s not for me. I’ve learned that I have options in life, that I can take the road I want rather than the road someone else wants me to take.”

  Shaking, she paused only to gasp for air. “There’s only one thing I’ve ever really wanted in life. A family. A warm, loving, close family. I never had it when I was growing up because you and Mom were too busy with your career to even stop and consider my needs. I never had it with Blake because he was so involved with Eastbridge and…and…well, it just never came. I was ready to give up on my dream because you all kept saying that things like duty and responsibility were more important. Then I met Michael, and I learned that I wasn’t crazy to want the things I did. I learned that by taking a road of my own choosing, I can have it all.”

  William patted the air. “You’re pregnant, Danica. You’re being emotional. You’re not thinking clearly—”

  “I am. You’re the one who’s missing the boat.” Her eyes narrowed. “Do you want to know what else I’ve learned? I’ve learned that you’re fallible. You make mistakes just like the rest of us. Your judgment on some matters leaves much to be desired.”

  William stiffened. “I won’t have you talking to me that way, Danica. I’m your father. I deserve respect.”

  “So do I, and I’m going to get it!” She had reached the point of fury where there were no holds barred. “Do you have any idea why my marriage failed? Do you?”

  “You gave up on it.”

  “I did not. Blake did.” She straightened. “You may have thought that you knew him when you chose him to be my husband, but you didn’t. And for ten long years I didn’t know him, either. At first I thought I was doing something wrong. He spent more and more time out of the house, less and less time with me. I rationalized and tried to compensate, but it didn’t work. Toward the end we shared little more than the same last name. And do you want to know why?”