Fearless King

by Hughes, Maya

  “Do they have to make it so loud?” I stuck my finger into my ear.

  “Says the old man.” She bumped her hip into my leg. “That’s the whole point—to make it so loud no one can think about their bad decisions.”

  Tugging me across the dance floor, she walked up the steps to a small raised area that was roped off. The people around us moved like an undulating sea of drunken mayhem. She let go of my hand, and I fought back the urge to grab hold of it again.

  Telling everyone else about us before we told Colm wasn’t right. The rest of the night was strictly hands off. I ran my hand over my chin and smelled her on me. It was as intoxicating as any drink. I’d be Liv drunk by the end of the night.

  She waved to the Kings plus their queens beyond the rope, and the second level bouncer let us through. Everyone wore grim looks on their faces. Glancing over her shoulder at me, her eyebrows dipped.

  I shrugged.

  “Why do you guys look like you just found out the truth about Santa?” She grinned at them.

  Their eyes darted between the two of us, and my stomach sank. They knew.

  Emmett pulled out his phone and handed it to Avery like he didn’t want to be the one to deliver the news directly. Avery slid it into Liv’s hand as Mak and Kara closed ranks, wrapping their arms around Liv’s shoulders.

  I moved in closer, and Declan shoved his hands against my chest, keeping me back. “What the fuck is going on?” I asked.

  “It’s not good.” Heath shook his head and looked like someone had told him he couldn’t stargaze anymore. He almost always found a way to look on the bright side of things, so him not doing so now had a ball of dread forming in my stomach.

  Liv’s hands shot to cover her face, and Emmett’s phone dropped to the plush navy carpet. Knocking everyone out of the way, I gently wrapped my hands around her arms. “What is it?” I looked from her to the video replaying on the screen on the floor.

  Bile rose in my throat as I watched the intimate moment between us at the bar replaying on social media.

  “Shit!” Liv stared up at me, and I folded my arms around her. I’d failed her, had been so stupid. There were cameras everywhere, all the time, and I knew that. I’d lived that.

  I’d been too lax at Fish’s when I should have kept my guard up. I knew I should always keep it up when it came to protecting Liv.

  The ladies spirited her off to the bathroom. I sank into the leather couch that ran the length of the cordoned-off area and dropped my head into my hands.

  “I take it this means you two are a thing?” Heath rocked back and forth on his heels and rubbed the back of his neck.

  I nodded.

  Emmett cleared his throat. “You might want to break that to Colm sooner rather than later, especially if this is floating around out there.”

  Floating around—that sounded so casual, like it was no big deal that anyone with a phone could pull up a video of her holding on to me as I teased her, like I didn’t already have enough to tell Colm, secrets that gnawed until the only thing left was bruised and beaten limbs.

  Everything around me moved like we’d been plunged into the ocean. Maybe that was why I felt like the air in my lungs had been replaced by water from the inky deep. I shot up from the couch and followed after where the girls had disappeared to.

  Knocking on the bathroom door, I squinted as the bright light from inside poured into the small hallway. Avery opened the door, her lips tight in a grim line.

  “How is she?”

  She opened the door wider and lifted her chin with her eyes darting back into the room behind her. My stomach knotted. I wanted to run to Liv and break something at the same time, wanted to go back to Fish’s and tear the place apart, then dismantle the phone of whoever had done this.

  Kara and Mak stood protectively outside the only closed stall. Their arms were crossed over their chests like sentries at their posts. My stomach knotted and my footsteps echoed along to the distant muffled beat of the club. People were outside laughing, dancing, and drinking like our world hadn’t been flipped on its head, like someone hadn’t stolen a moment from us and left it forever tainted.

  “We all reported the video.” Mak held out her phone. “I don’t know what good it will do, but it’s a start.”

  “She’ll be okay.” Kara rested her hand on my shoulder. Comfort wasn’t what I deserved right then. If anything, it was a kick to the chest that knocked the wind out of me, but that had already happened. I was still underwater, and I didn’t even want to push to the surface.

  I knocked on the heavy wood of the closed stall door with my knuckles.

  “We’ll leave you two to talk.” Mak, Avery, and Kara left. The restroom door banged shut, leaving only the muted music from outside and the silence in there with me and Liv.

  The toilet paper dispenser rattled, and her trumpeting nose blowing hit sharp notes in the small bathroom. When she opened the door, the redness ringing her eyes made me want to throw myself into the charred remains of her apartment.

  I tugged her into my arms and squeezed her tight against me. Her hands came up to my chest—I thought she meant to push me away, but instead she tucked her arms in, letting my body blanket her.

  “Seems we weren’t as stealthy as we thought.” She let out a tight laugh, the kind that only comes after tears so blinding you can barely breathe.

  “I think you’re right.” I brushed my hand down over her hair. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

  She stared up into my eyes. “Let’s just go home.”

  It was her suggestion from earlier that I’d teased her about, one I should’ve eagerly accepted because then we would have avoided all this. Instead I’d let her talk me into taking her out for once. I’d opened her up to the laser-focused gaze of thousands of people without being on my guard, and this was what had happened. They’d seen the way her body shuddered and how she held on to me, the way I looked at her like I was ready to devour her.

  I took her hand in mine. Everyone crowded around the bathroom and helped us get out the back door exit to the club and into a taxi. Their words of comfort didn’t do much, but Liv’s head resting against my chest may as well have been a whip across my back. She burrowed into my side like I had any protection to give her, like I hadn’t already exposed her to the world, like I hadn’t already exposed even more of her secrets.

  34

  Liv

  I lifted my head and cracked my eyes open. My head pounded. The tears had stopped falling sooner than I’d expected. Being around the Kings, attention was never in short supply, but it had never been focused on me. Even the previous night it hadn’t been; it had been focused on Ford. He’d been the target, and his hesitancy about exposing himself, his need to burrow deep inside made even more sense.

  For the rest of the guys, they thrived on the attention that came from playing hockey. It kept them going and amped them up. I’d seen firsthand how it drained Ford, though. It sucked something out of him that was only recharged when we were alone and cuddled up together. Our flirting at the bar had felt so private, which was stupid, but Fish’s was like an extension of his house. He felt safe there. It was one of the few places he felt that way, and it had been taken from him—not just taken, but ripped from him.

  My eyes adjusted to the low light. The warmth of the bed wasn’t complete without him. Ford’s back to me, he sat on the edge of the mattress. Pushing the sheets down, I leaned over and ran my hand over his back.

  He jumped and turned. The grave expression on his face was like someone had died.

  Getting up onto my knees, I draped my arms around his neck and ran my lips along the side of his face. He covered my hand with his and rubbed his thumb in small circles.

  “Can’t sleep?”

  “What gave it away?” He smiled the kind of forced smile you give at work when you’re barely hanging on. But I wasn’t a work colleague. I didn’t want him to ever think he had to hide anything from me.

  Sitting bes
ide him, I pulled his arm into my lap and ran my hands along the underside of his forearm. The sinewy muscles tightened and relaxed under my fingers.

  “I screwed up.” His gaze was locked onto the floor like a hundred-pound weight was looped around his neck, dragging him down, drowning him.

  “I was right there with you. Hell, I practically shoved your hands up my dress. Come to think of it, I actually did.” I rubbed my face against his neck. He smelled fresh and clean, like newly folded laundry.

  He made a sharp noise and shook his head.

  “You’re not the protector of the world. You’re not the creep who decided to film it. It was a stupid mistake. No one saw my face. Maybe in the morning I’ll feel differently, but I’m sure in another day, this will be old news and someone else will have done something way more scandalous.”

  “How can you be so calm about this?” He tilted his head, the sheen on his eyes catching the dim light from the living room. “People saw me touching you. I let them see you vulnerable like that, so trusting and open.”

  I lifted his hand and raised it to my mouth. “No one watching that was focused on my openness or trust.” A small laugh crept out of my mouth. “They saw me, saw how much I enjoyed it and the look on your face when I came on your fingers. As far as sex tapes go, they didn’t even get a flash of the goods.” Somehow him being so freaked out let me put the whole thing in perspective. It could have been worse, a lot worse, but learning this lesson hadn’t been nearly as painful as it could have been.

  He jerked back. I tightened my hold. “You can’t hide from everyone forever.” I kissed the words into the back of his hand, trying to apply a salve to the pain radiating off him and leaching into the air. “And I don’t want you to hide. Just think of how not scary any other public appearance you make will feel after this.” I snorted.

  “I need to go for a walk.” He stood up, but I held on to his hand.

  “Come back to bed. It will all be better in the morning.”

  He stared down at me, his eyes boring into mine, peeling back the layers of himself for me, and that raw ache brought tears to my eyes.

  “It’ll be okay.”

  He nodded. “I know. Go back to sleep. This will help clear my head.” He freed his hand from mine and ran it along the side of my face, cupping my cheek. “I won’t be long.” Trailing his thumb along my bottom lip, he stared into my eyes. My heart squeezed at the uncertainty and worry in his eyes.

  He dropped his hand and walked from the room with his hands shoved in his pockets. The front door closed a few seconds later, and I burrowed deep into the blankets. This was a speed bump, and we could handle it. Once he got back, we’d figure out how to face this together.

  * * *

  Morning came far too early. The video was down. It hadn’t been up for more than a few hours overnight. Most people hadn’t seen it, and most people couldn’t even tell it was me. The guys hadn’t even known it was me. That had made me laugh in the VIP room bathroom when Mak and Avery had told me they’d had to point it out to them before we even got there.

  It gave me some solace that the thousands of people who’d seen Ford doling out digital pleasure in the bar might not put two and two together. I tugged down a strand of my hair. Maybe a dye job was in order. It wasn’t the end of the world. I could still walk and talk. No one had come to the door with pitchforks ready to put me in the stocks, but damn was it embarrassing. This took having a nightmare of standing in front of your entire school naked to a whole new level.

  Ford’s face when I’d opened the stall door had looked like someone hadn’t just kicked his dog but a whole litter of puppies. He’d crawled back into bed not that long after he left, slipping his arms around me and tugging me close. I hadn’t been able to sleep without him there anyway, but I didn’t want to pile on more guilt. Sleep had overtaken me when his breathing evened out.

  Sometime close to dawn, I propped myself up on my elbow and brushed my hand across the hair on his forehead. So strong and so fragile, he had the biggest heart and so much fear about letting people see all of him. There were rare moments when he let himself go, a rare moment like the night before when some of who he was alone with me saw the light of day. Now I’d be lucky if he didn’t throw that piece into a trunk, lock it up with chains, and chuck it into a river.

  Resting my head on his chest, I let my eyes close. We’d had a long day, and if we didn’t deserve a snooze, I didn’t know who did.

  * * *

  A thundering pounding shook the whole apartment. It was like someone was trying to knock down the entire building through the door. I rushed to it, hoping to stop whoever it was before they woke Ford. Why the hell are they banging like that? A small pang of fear hit me that the building might in fact be on fire.

  I wrenched it open, and all the blood drained out of my face. Standing in the hallway like a bull ready to charge, Colm stared back at me like he’d seen a ghost. One second I was in the doorway and the next I was lifted off my feet.

  “Thank God you’re okay.” His words came out in a rush. “I went to your apartment to see the place half gutted by fire. You weren’t answering your phone. I freaked the hell out. I’ve never been more scared in my life.” His grip tightened on my shoulders, and I could barely breathe. He buried his face in my neck, tremors racking his body.

  “You aren’t supposed to be here until the end of the week. I’m okay,” I croaked out after drawing the slightest bit of air into my lungs. Not giving him a heads-up was my screw up. I should have let him know, but I’d known exactly what he’d have done: gone into overdrive protection mode and tried to bulldoze his way into making it right. I held him tighter and ran my hands over his back.

  “Happy birthday, Olive.” He squeezed me tighter against him, spinning me around.

  “Thanks, big brother.” Under my hand, his heart pounded like he’d run a marathon. “Colm, I’m okay.”

  He loosened his grip and set me back down. “What are you doing here? I’d have thought you’d be with Marisa. Is she okay?” His gaze traveled over me, and the pieces clicked into place like a combination lock.

  Bare feet—click. No pants—click. Wearing Ford’s T-shirt—click. Rumpled hair—the lock swung open.

  Colm’s eyes widened, and his gaze bounced from my feet to the top of my head.

  My gaze darted over Colm’s shoulder. Ford stood behind him with his arms crossed over his chest. The tension radiated off him like someone waiting for a cobra to strike.

  I winced. Ford crossed the room and stood beside me. His arm brushed against the oversize sleeve of the shirt I had on, the gentle contact grounding me while Colm stood in front of us looking like he was seconds from losing his shit.

  “Let’s get some breakfast. We have a lot to talk about.” Ford dropped his hand onto Colm’s shoulder.

  Colm shot back like he’d been burned, and his gaze jumped from Ford to me.

  “You’re fucking Olive?” Anger shot through his words like venom.

  “You’ve had a long trip. You’re tired.” Ford tried to corral him toward the kitchen, but Colm shoved him back.

  “Don’t patronize me. You think this is because I’m tired? This is because you fucking lied to me—again.” Colm’s shoulders shook as his rage built.

  “Calm down.” Ford put his hands in front of him, moving them up and down like they could fan away the tension in the air. Instead they fanned the flames.

  “I get on the first plane I can after they finally free me from my rehab prison, and what do I show up to? Liv’s apartment is a smoldering pile of rubble, and you don’t even call me?” His gaze shot back to me. “And you won’t answer my calls. Do you know what happened when I showed up at your apartment? I thought you died.” They could probably hear his voice three blocks away. “How the hell did I know that didn’t happen last night? I called every freaking hospital on the way here. I was searching newspapers online looking for your name in some kind of death notification.” Rage and anguish
battled for dominance with every breath.

  I winced.

  He shoved against Ford’s chest. “Not only are you screwing my baby sister, you don’t even warn me about the fire or tell me she’s safe.”

  “We didn’t know you were coming back early.”

  “I don’t care!” Colm roared. “I don’t care if you thought I was coming back in a day or a week or a month. I deserved to know.”

  “There was nothing you could do. Mak, Kara, and Avery took me shopping for clothes. They gave them to me as a birthday present. My textbooks were replaced, and I’m fine here with Ford.”

  “Wow, sounds like everyone else knew about this but me. Everyone else is taking care of you—except me. You’ll take their help, but you won’t let your own brother sort things out for you.” Hurt tinged his words.

  “They were here and offered their help. Telling you would have just worried you and made you freak out.”

  “Look what not telling me did.” He pointed at the center of his chest. “Look what finding out my former best friend has been fucking my little sister behind my back has done.”

  Ford stood still as a statue as Colm went after him, but the bunch of his forearms and the strain in his neck told me he was barely hanging on. I stepped in between them, putting my hands on Colm’s chest.

  “This is why we didn’t tell you. I knew you’d freak out.”

  “And why shouldn’t I? After what he did, he’s lucky I still speak to him.”

  Ford’s body went rigid like someone tightening a screw to the point that the threads started fraying. His breathing picked up, and he opened and closed his fists at his side. I pressed one hand into the center of his chest to try to calm him and kept one on Colm’s to keep them apart.