Circular Motion

by Ripple Reddwoord

  When I finished I put my tray away and left the building. They made you put the napkins in a garbage can before you put the tray on the conveyer belt.

  Day 7

  I remember my first class that day was Econ. I didn’t have to walk very far to get to it. I liked the teacher in it. I always liked my Econ classes. I think Econ’s was pretty useless though. But it’s definitely more fun than Fin especially when you considered people’s expectations. Then you can add psychohistory and paradigms and Jung’s stuff. Like people have this need to live forever so they have kids and do everything in their power to make sure they survive. Sometimes.

  They were doing the Philip’s curve, the relationship between unemployment and inflation. But of course Philip didn’t really come up with the idea. He just gets credit for it. I don’t know why I’m saying ‘they’ when really only the teacher was talking. I wished I knew more people in class. Then I could make jokes and be me like in high school. Once I shot a rubber band at my psychology teacher. But I think I told you that already. I also remember once I was driving in a parking lot really fast and I skidded on the gravel and slammed into the curb and blew my tire and dented my rim and threw the axle out of alignment. My Calc 3 teacher was there and he said he expected something like that from one of the lowlifes in my school but not from me but we’re all equal cuz it’s a democracy and we’re all citizens. He didn’t say that last part but I added it anyway.

  When my class was over I went to my next class. It was a statistics class. It used to be interesting but then everyone but me did badly on the midterm and he made the class easier and now I think I’m doing badly. I sit in class and doodle (binary tree) for the entire lecture. Maybe I’m supposed to be given medication. In high school I used to draw bugman in all my classes:

  He’s my favorite superhero. Once he attacked a 50-foot woman with a fish. Then she stepped on him with her foot. But he went “squash” and it was funny anyway. I guess you had to be there for it to be funny. And then there was buggirl:

  She has a proportionately bigger head and circles at the end of her antennae. But I don’t know about the name buggirl. To be fair I really should either call her bugwoman or call bugman bugboy. But I like the names bugman and buggirl and don’t want to change them. It’s stuff like that that bothers me a lot. (spoon)

  So anyway I was repressing everything and trying to live in perpetual anticlimax. But of course in the back of my mind there was always something. All the data was pointing to a prime calculation. I remember once I saw this lecture on algorithms used to match up dating pairs. The guy put an equation on the board and asked if it was the best answer to the problem. He was Asian-Indian. I said it was the best answer. He looked at me funny and asked how I knew. I guess he didn’t expect an answer. I didn’t know how though; I just knew. It was a prime calculation too. All the data pointed to it. There is no cause and effect. There’s only truth. I have to repeat that to myself so I learn to believe it.

  #

  When my class was over I walked back to my room. I had to take an elevator up since I lived on the 7th floor. Two of the four elevators were waiting in the lobby and I remember wondering about how they programmed the elevators. But that part isn’t really relevant.

  “How do you download Netscape?” It was Henrie.

  “What?” I had just opened the door when he started talking to me.

  “My friend was telling me I should get Netscape. What do I do?” I really hate computers. I used to like them in high school but when I got to college I starting hating them cuz people always don’t know how to use them and I halfway do so they keep bugging me about them.

  “Just go to there site and click on ‘download Netscape’.” I went into my room and took my shoes off.

  He came into my room. He was wearing these pink slippers that had a teddy bear and the words ‘Bonjour Bear’ on it. “Could you please come and show me?”

  May computers be smitten with boils and botches and whatever else Dante could think of. I stood up and followed him to his room.

  “My friend was telling me I should get Netscape.” I went up to his screen and started moving his mouse around in elliptical orbits. “Which one do you use?”

  “Neither one is insanely great or anything. When one crashes I switch to the other.” I pointed and clicked.

  “Ok. Now do I have it?” He was looking over my shoulder.

  “No. Now you have to wait for it to download.” I got up and started for the door.

  He sat down at his computer. “Then that’s it?”

  “I don’t know. Tell me when it’s done. You might have to hit Enter a couple times.” I left his room.

  “Ok. Thanks.”

  I guess he’s a nice kid. I’m just irritable on that point.

  “Hey.” It was Henrie. He stood outside my door. “Do you wanna go and eat?”

  “Um… ok. Let me put my shoes on.”

  “Ok.” He left my range of sight.

  I sat down to put my shoes on but my left contact felt dry. I put some rewetting drops in. People tell me that I put my eye drops in weird. Rather than tilting my head back and dropping the solution in the center of my eyes I usually just squeeze the bottle into my tear glands.

  “Hurry up. I gotta meeting tonight.” It was Henrie again.

  “Ok. I’m coming.” I slipped my shoes on and followed him. We went down the elevator and headed outside. Henrie was from Columbia in South America. “Where are we going anyway?”

  “That Italian place. Through the store.” There was this pizza and pasta place a couple blocks over from where we lived. It was built weird and you had to go through a clothing store to get to it. The front entrance was in a back alley and no one ever took it. We didn’t talk much on the way there but we passed this coffee shop that I once went to with my old Econ professor. He was French and rode a multicolored motorcycle and spoke with a funny accent. I remember he was teaching us about supply and demand and gave an example using two guys Robinson and some other guy but it was kinda confusing so I raised my hand and asked him to use the names Mr. Pink and Mr. Blue instead. He used them but I don’t think anyone in the class got my reference to Reservoir Dogs. Now that I think of it, I never did get to see his motorcycle.

  When we got there I ordered spaghetti and Henrie got some other kind of pasta with some other kind of sauce. Basil and mushrooms came in mine.

  “There was another plane crash today in Columbia.” I don’t remember what kind he had.

  The restaurant had one main floor and stairs that went up to two separate overhangs where there were more tables. “Really? Do they happen often?”

  “Yes. You know, when important people fly on them, accidents tend to happen.” The last conversation we had was on what we were majoring and what year we were in. “But it also has to do with the many mountains. It is unsafe to fly.”

  “What do you mean by ‘important people’?”

  “You know.” He ate a lot faster than I did; he was halfway done already. I saw that it was getting dark outside through the window. “Drug people are always fighting amongst themselves. And the politicians too.”

  I had some Coke cuz I figured the caffeine in it would counteract all the sleepy carbohydrates in the pasta. “Corrupt government?”

  “Yes. They all have armored cars. A bomb once went off down the street from me.” I remember that Henrie and I would watch the Discovery channel together. Once there was a program on how beauty stemmed from symmetry and if you wanted to be good looking you’d have to get surgery to even out your face. “It’s pretty bad. But my father owns a factory down there. No one is willing to buy it so what can you do?”

  “Not much I guess. What can you do?” His life seemed pretty interesting.

  “Actually, the first time I’ve really seen any drugs is here in America.” He smiled at me for some reason. Henrie wore glasses.

  “Really?”

  “Yes. But I guess it might be because I live in a good area.
But it’s getting worse all the time. There might be some in my old high school now.” He stopped smiling and got back to eating.

  “I don’t know. I never really saw anything until college either.” Except of course for alcohol and tobacco. But I think you can also get high off Robitussin. It’s called Robo-tripping.

  “Well in Columbia there is only the rich and the poor, and you can’t have everyone doing drugs.” I know; I didn’t see how that fit into the conversation either. He finished up his meal. I wasn’t done with mine yet. “But I guess this country isn’t all that different from my own.”

  I called for the check even though I still had food on my plate. That happens; I won’t eat much if I’m talking to someone. I looked in my pocket and only found a ten. “Uh oh.”

  “What now?” He was staring at the waitress who had brought the check.

  “Can you cover me?” I guess I ran out of Pedro’s money.

  “Fine, you loser.” He stood up and went for his wallet. “Wait…”

  “What?”

  “I don’t have anything on me.” He searched his pockets more violently this time.

  I was still sitting down. “Are you sure?”

  I saw the lady by the cash register was looking at us. I think she was Asian. “Nope. I don’t have my wallet.”

  I thought for a second. “So now what?”

  “I don’t know.” He sat down but was still grabbing at his jeans.

  I had an idea. “Let’s make a run for it.”

  “What? Are you crazy?” His shirt looked like a straightjacket cuz his arms were all contorted.

  “Come on, they’ll never know. If you just act calm and don’t walk funny we can get out through the store.”

  “No. I’m not doing that. You can get into a lot of trouble for doing something like that.” He rested for a second then continued his crusade. “Where did you get a crazy idea like that?”

  “You’re no fun.” I sat back in my chair and watched all the other people eating.

  Then he stood up and patted himself down. “Got it!”

  He was holding up a credit card. “Ok. Let’s get out of here.”

  We got up and paid and the cashier lady looked at us funny. Then on the way back Henrie stopped by a Mac machine and pulled a sixty-dollar cash advance on his credit card. I don’t know what I was thinking when I said we should walk out on the check. Maybe it’s the yellow talking statues.

  After the Mac machine we ran into this girl I knew from freshman year. She was with a friend. I said, “Hi.”

  “Hi.” I wasn’t sure if I should say I remembered her or just pretend there was no history.

  “Um… see ya.”

  “Bye.”

  I dunno. I met this kid once who was older than me and he had about four girlfriends. They were all in different countries. His philosophy was that if he didn’t go out with them someone else would so why not have them go out with him? I don’t think it’s that bad of an idea.

  #

  Later in my room I was hungry again so I went to my fridge. I probably should have eaten more at the restaurant. I didn’t have much in there; only the peanut butter and jelly and bread were mine. I had orange juice in there before but I had finished it. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I remember this one time I bought this natural peanut butter stuff and you had to mix the oil in and it was gooey and messy. Peanut butter always runs out before the jelly does though. I had this mug that was shaped like the head of the Quick rabbit and put water from the Brita thing in it. Then I turned on the TV. The jelly had elderberries in it. Like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

  I was watching Powerpuff Girls and eating my sandwich. They beat up this guy in a funny hat and then there was a commercial. I didn’t have a remote so I had to get up and change the channel. I switched it to the Simpsons. I took another bite of my sandwich. It was the one were Springfield fined Mr. Burns for something and built a monorail with the money. And Spock was there, too. Homer always reminded me of this chemistry professor I had in high school. He was pretty cool. I remember once I wanted attention so I drank this blue stuff. Copper sulfate. But I told you that already. He thought I was eccentric after drinking that. I remember there was this girl that liked me in that class.

  A big donut saved Homer and then the Simpsons were over. I got up and switched to MTV. I remember when I was a little kid I hated MTV cuz it was a monopoly. That it controlled music and everything. MTV has all these beautiful people on it. They call them BP’s at Northwestern. Beavis and Butthead were on. They were inside a dryer in a Laundromat. It was funny. My favorite episode I think is the Cornholio one. I didn’t understand it but it was funny anyway. I remember seeing it in NY. I was with a friend of mine and his brother in an apartment celebrating someone’s birthday. It was the first time I ever had Japanese food.

  Beavis and Butthead got out of the Laundromat and were walking into the sunset. Beavis called Butthead a ‘Butthead’. At least that’s what I remember happening. I could have mixed up a couple episodes; they’re all the same anyway. There was a draft in the room cuz the window was open and my feet were kinda cold.

  Someone knocked on my door. My sandwich was almost done so I finished it first and then got up and walked over to the door. I opened the door and saw it was Lot. “Hi Lot.”

  “Hi… how are you?” Lot used to be in my Management class last semester. “We’re out of food. Do you have anything to eat?”

  “You can have peanut butter and jelly if you want.” It existed.

  He walked in. “Anything. I’m famished.”

  Lot’s funny that way. He uses big words every now and then. “Help yourself.”

  Lot went into the kitchen area I guess to make a sandwich. I wanted to get socks cuz my feet were cold so I went to my room.

  My room isn’t very big but I guess its ok. I just moved into it a little while ago. I can see the lights twinkle at night from across the river when I look out my window. I opened the door and then the phone rang. I answered it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, how are you doing?”

  “Oh… hi mom.” It was my mom.

  “Are you eating well?”

  “Ya… ok.”

  “What did you eat today?”

  “Spaghetti.”

  “What? Did you go out and eat?”

  “No… I mean yes.”

  “Oh… I’m worried about your weight.”

  “Ya…”

  “Your sister says you didn’t look well last time she saw you.”

  “I’m ok.”

  “That’s good. I was worried but your dad said that you had just woken up when they visited.” My dad and my sister had visited me a little while back.

  “Ya… I was sleeping.”

  “Have you been taking your medicine?”

  “Ya, I think I’m better.”

  “That’s good. You should finish it anyway.”

  “Ya.”

  “Do you have any snacks in your room?” I remember once my mom told me that walking barefoot in the morning on dewed grass and eating carrots would improve my vision.

  “What?” I don’t care if it sounds silly; I still believe it.

  “Do you have something to eat there?”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Not really. I have some Cheerios.”

  “Really? That’s good. Do you have any milk?”

  “No…”

  “You should get milk.”

  “I just eat it raw.”

  “What?”

  “I just eat it plain.”

  “You should get some milk. You have to take care of yourself.”

  “It spoils quickly.”

  “So you should drink it quickly.”

  “Ya… it’s expensive though.”

  “What?”

  “It costs 2.50 for a liter.”

  “Oh…”

  “Ya, 1.50 for a half liter.”

  “Oh… and you ca
n only get two drinks from that size, right?”

  “Ya…” There was a pause.

  “Is there anything else?”

  “No…”

  “Ok. I’ll talk to you later then.” There was a pause. “I love you.”

  “Ok.”

  “Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  I try not to think of my parents. Sometimes I have bad dreams about them. Once I was at home playing with my little sister and then I remembered that she’s getting older too. It made me sad so I just went to the den and watched TV and ate some cookies.

  My sister is better looking than I am.

  Dreams

  I walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of socks. They were these gray ones I had bought the last time I was home. They weren’t very thick but they were ok to keep my feet warm. I closed the dresser drawer and went to see how Lot was doing.

  He was watching TV. It was the news. There was another bombing somewhere in Europe. “I took a Coke, is that ok?”

  “Ya, don’t worry about it.” They were my roommate’s but I didn’t think he would mind. It belonged to the one from Columbia. I saw the Coke can in his right hand. He was holding the sandwich in the other. I always like the bottles better than the cans but I think everyone does. I remembered I had a French Coke bottle back at home. I sat down next to him in a chair. “Anything important in the news?”

  “No not really. Some actor died. I forget his name though. Lawrence something. I hate that. I’m so horrible with names.” He was sitting on the couch. “I’ve been really bad with keeping up with things lately. The only show I ever watch anymore is Space Ghost.”

  I didn’t what Space Ghost was. I felt like I should say something about the other night. “What have you been up to?”

  “Not much. I’ve been working on my Japanese paper. I might need you to look over it later.” Lot’s a pretty good student. I guess I am too but he’s a hard worker.

  “Sure.” I don’t mind reading his stuff. Sometimes he’ll repeat points in his essays and you have to tell him to fix it. “What’s it about?”