Before You

by Lisa Cardiff

  Bre shifted in her chair. “Nothing. We’re just friends. He’s in Cam’s band.”

  “I gathered that, but that doesn’t explain why he’s here and Cam’s not.” Sara crossed her ankles in front of her as she leaned against the railing.

  “Cam had some band business and he had to work. Jax and I are friends, so he offered to come.”

  “Are you sure that’s it? Because it looks as though there’s more to it than friendship. Cam’s supposed to be your boyfriend and I can’t imagine him cleaning up your house or entertaining your grandmother’s friends.”

  “Jax is being nice. That’s it!”

  “Okay. I get it. We don’t have to talk about it today.” Sara pushed away from the railing and straightened the folds in her dark blue chiffon dress. “I need to go. I have to drive back to Denver today, but I’ll be back with all my things next week. I hate to put more stress on you, but we need to sign a lease this week.”

  “I know. I promise that I’ll pick a place in the next couple days.” Sara walked down the wooden front steps toward her car. “Sara,” Bre called out. “Thanks so much for everything. I couldn’t have made it through the past week without you.”

  A huge smile spread across Sara’s face, highlighting the dimples in both her cheeks and Bre grinned back at her. “That’s what friends are for. You don’t have to thank me.”

  Twenty minutes later, empty wine glass in hand, she went inside to help Jax and Cam’s parents finish putting away the food, and find out what Jax planned to do tonight. The house was relatively quiet, but she heard them moving around in the kitchen. Her cell phone buzzed loudly in her pocket. Seeing a text message from Cam, she sat down on the sofa.

  Sorry I couldn’t be there. I sent Jax in my place and I knew my parents would be there. Call me before you go to bed. I love you.

  Frowning, she shut off her phone and tossed it on the coffee table. She didn’t want to talk to Cam tonight. He might think that sending Jax and his parents in his place was reasonable, but she didn’t agree.

  “Bre?” Cam’s mom said as she walked out of the kitchen. “I’m beat. Todd and I are going to head home.”

  Bre stood up and hugged her. “Ellen, thanks so much for coming and helping clean up.”

  Ellen stepped backed and clasped Bre’s hands. “Of course. You’re like a daughter to me. I wouldn’t let you do this alone.” Ellen’s eyes searched Bre’s and then she cleared her throat. “Is everything okay with Cam? I didn’t realize he wasn’t coming.”

  Bre looked down, avoiding Ellen’s eyes. “I didn’t know until Jax told me before the ceremony started. I guess he had some stuff to do for the band and work, so he sent Jax.”

  “Sweetie, I’m really sorry,” Ellen said, shaking her head in sympathy. “That’s not an acceptable excuse. I’ll talk to him. Straighten him out.”

  “No,” Bre interrupted. “You don’t need to scold him.”

  “I won’t, but a mom can always give her son direction, and he needs to realize that life is about being there for the people you love when they need you. You needed him today, and he didn’t make you a priority, but his friend did. That says a lot.”

  Bre’s stomach knotted, and she ran her palms down the sides of her dress. She didn’t want to discuss Jax with Cam’s mom. “I’m sure he’ll make it up to me.”

  Ellen smiled. “Maybe, but there are some things you can’t take back once you put them in motion.” She kissed Bre on the cheek. “Goodnight. Call me if you need anything.” Ellen turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Todd, we need to give Bre some space. Let’s go.”

  Todd walked into the room and pulled Bre into a tight hug and whispered into her ear. “Ellen and I love you. Don’t forget that. You’re not alone.”

  “Thanks,” Bre said, her voice trembling as she stepped out of his embrace. “I love you both.”

  Todd put his arm around Ellen’s shoulder. “Goodnight, Bre. I’ll stop by in the next couple days to fix the kitchen faucet. It’s dripping.”

  “Thanks.”

  ***

  Jax walked out of the door of the kitchen into the living room and stood beside the sofa where Bre sat reclined with her legs tucked underneath her, her eyebrows furrowed from long nights and stress. Affection and tenderness for her bubbled in his chest and he realized he was smiling just watching her. God, he’d missed her.

  When a minute or so passed without Bre acknowledging his presence, he cleared his throat.

  “Sorry,” Bre said, a sincere smile spreading across her face. “I didn’t notice you. I was lost in my thoughts. There’s so much to take care of, I don’t know where to start.” Bre sighed. “It’s completely overwhelming, physically and emotionally.”

  “You’ll be fine. You’re strong, and I’ll help you any way I can. Don’t think for one second that you’re alone. If you need me, you have an open invitation to call anytime of day,” Jax said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

  “You mean I can call when I can’t sleep in the middle of the night or before my early morning run?” Bre’s eyes danced with mischief.

  He loved seeing the smile on her face. She didn’t deserve the shit Cam did to her, even if she didn’t know about it. It sucked. “It’s an open invitation.”

  “Hm… well, seeing as I don’t have your phone number, that’s kind of an empty offer.” Bre laughed, shifting to face him.

  Jax tried not to react, but he couldn’t help noticing how her dress rode up her thighs, exposing her toned legs that he loved so much. He missed looking at them in the short wetsuit that he gave her the first day they surfed together. After seeing her in it, he couldn’t imagine anyone else wearing it, so he told her to keep it.

  His eyes traveled up her legs, over the delicate curves concealed by her black dress, but he remembered what they looked like all too clearly. She wore her long brown hair up, and a few wayward strands danced in front of her amber colored eyes. Her eyes looked sad and fatigued, but they were still the most captivating eyes he had ever seen.

  “If you want my number, all you have to do is ask,” Jax whispered.

  He braced one hand on the arm of the sofa. If he tilted his head to the side, he was certain he could see her panties, and with that thought, his mouth suddenly became dry.

  Her lips twitched and she arched an eyebrow. “You’re the one who asked me to call you. I think you’re using your lines on me again to get my number”

  Jax smiled and leaned toward her. “If you say so.”

  Bre cleared her throat. “So what are your plans?”

  “What?” He blinked, oblivious to her question.

  “Where are you staying tonight?” she prompted.

  Right. What were his plans? “I don’t know. I didn’t make any reservations. Do you have any suggestions?”

  “You can stay here.”

  His heart lurched at the invitation and then he cursed inwardly at his reaction. He couldn’t stay here. It was wrong for so many reasons. “I don’t know. You’ve had a long day, and I don’t want to impose.”

  “It isn’t a problem. You can sleep in the guest room now that Sara is gone. I think she washed and changed the sheets this morning.”

  Bre played with the hem of her skirt and Jax started to shake his head to refuse her offer. He came to Colorado to support Bre and help Cam, but staying at Bre’s house seemed too intimate after their day together.

  “Before you say no, I want to say that I really would like it if you stayed.” Her voice lowered to barely above a whisper, and she shifted uncomfortably. “Sara has been with me since I got back from LA, and I’m not ready to be alone in my grandmother’s house yet.”

  Jax stared at Bre, taking her in, and a strained silence fell between them. He couldn’t say no to her. No, that wasn’t true. He didn’t want to say no to her. He missed her, and the thought of leaving her right now, not knowing when he’d see her again, made him sick to his stomach. Even worse, when he saw her again, she would be with Cam.


  “Okay,” he said, realizing this might be the last time they were alone together. He refused to waste the opportunity to drink her in, even if it were from a distance.

  “When are you leaving?”

  “Tomorrow afternoon. What should we do tonight?”

  “I thought we could watch a movie unless you had something else in mind.”

  “Nah. What movie?”

  “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It’s my all time favorite.”

  “The original or the remake with Johnny Depp?” Jax asked as he sat on the sofa next her.

  “The original, of course,” she answered, smiling widely at him.

  Bre pressed play.

  “I can’t believe you’re actually going to force me to watch this,” he said mockingly. “Isn’t this a kid movie?”

  “Hey, it’s a classic. It has that whole kindness triumphs over greed thing going for it.”

  “Right…” Jax responded, drawing out the word. “Is there any chance you’d agree to watch something more recent, like from the last decade?”

  Bre folded her arms across her chest. “Not a chance.”

  Jax smiled and nodded. He couldn’t fathom how he ended up sitting on the sofa watching a children’s movie except that he found it remarkably difficult to say no to anything Bre asked. “Willie Wonka it is.”

  Halfway through the movie, he noticed that Bre’s eyes were closed, her dark lashes shadowing her face, and her head tucked against her chest. Without questioning his actions, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, placing her head on top of his legs.

  “No, I’m not tired,” she mumbled. “I don’t want to sleep.”

  “Shh… just relax. This will be more comfortable. You can still watch the movie.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to go to bed yet. The movie’s not over.” Her voice was raspy from sleeping and her eyes were hooded, making him wonder what she would look like if he woke up next to her in the morning. He groaned inwardly at the thought. He needed to stop thinking about her as anything but his friend and Cam’s girlfriend.

  Shifting slightly, he traced the side of her face down to the middle of her neck with his fingertips. She shivered a little and a faint sleep-drugged smile crossed her face. He wished she were his. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, inhaling her faint lavender scent. God, he loved the way she smelled, no cloying perfume, just fresh and clean. “Don’t worry about it, Bre. We’ll finish the movie.”

  She studied him, her eyes wide. “You’re not hitting on me, are you? Because that day in your room…” Her voice drifted off as if she couldn’t say the words. “I really need a friend now, not another complication. I have enough of those.”

  “Then, that’s what I am. Your friend,” he whispered, and silently added for now in his head.

  “Okay.” She nestled into his lap, and he thought to himself that this is what people mean when they talk about the blurred line between pain and pleasure, because while it was painful to hold her like this, he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather be doing at that moment.

  Completely ignoring the movie, he watched as her eyes became heavy and she drifted off to sleep again. He wouldn’t trade being with her, supporting her for anything, and the last thought he remembered before he fell asleep was that Cam was a fool for taking Bre for granted.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Well, Bre, I must say I’m shocked. Don’t you two look cozy?” She didn’t even have to open her eyes to know that voice. She felt arms tense around her stomach, and her eyes flew open, panicked. Her eyes narrowed in on Jax’s chest, which was resting next to her face. Somehow they’d fallen asleep on the couch together.

  Sitting up, she turned to greet the person standing in front of the television. “Hi, Mom. What are you doing here?”

  “I came back to make sure you took care everything for my mother.” Her mother’s hands were on her hips.

  “I’d say you’re a few days late for that. The funeral was yesterday.”

  Her mother shrugged, wholly unconcerned. “So? I’m here now, but I’m just stopping by to pack.”

  “Where are you going?” Bre asked, pushing her tangled hair out of her face.

  “Charles asked me to move in with him.”

  “What are you going to do with the house?”

  “Nothing. It’s not mine. Unfortunately, my mother left everything she owned to you.”

  “What do you mean?” Bre asked, entirely dumbfounded.

  Her mom’s eyes narrowed. “I’m homeless because of you. She left everything—the house, the shop in Aspen—to you. I don’t know what you said to her to make her turn against me, but she said she wanted to make sure your future was secure. I guess that means she didn’t care about my future.”

  “That’s not true, Mom.” Bre didn’t know what compelled her to console her mother as if she were the parent and her mother, the child. “She loved you.”

  “Apparently not as much as she loved you. She never cared about me. From the moment we moved in with her, all she cared about was making sure you had everything you needed. What about what I needed? I was her child, not you.” Her mother flopped into a chair across from the sofa, calculated tears running down her face. “She’s left me destitute. I have nowhere to live.”

  The look on her mother’s face was clearly designed to make Bre feel guilty. She hated how her mother always managed to suck her back into a pattern of placating and appeasing her. Old patterns died hard. Even when her mother’s words made absolutely no sense, Bre had a hard time putting her mother in her place, not that it would matter what she said.

  “You haven’t lived here since I left for college. She probably didn’t think you wanted the house. You always complained about living in a small town in the mountains. Before you met Charles, you were living with…” Bre forgot his name, and her voice trailed off absently. It was too early to deal with her mother’s baggage. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Jax pull his shirt back on over his head.

  Her mother sniffed. “Edward, but he was too controlling, so I moved back a couple weeks ago. He made so many demands on me. I couldn’t take it anymore.”

  Bre shook her head. “Right. Edward. Where’s Charles?”

  Her mother’s tears were immediately forgotten. “He’s checking us into the St. Regis in Aspen for the night. Then, we’re going to his house in the morning.”

  “Don’t you think you’re rushing into this relationship? How long have you known each other? It can’t be more than a couple weeks.”

  Her mother’s spine stiffened. “You’re such a moralist sometimes. It’s irrelevant how long I’ve known him. He makes me happy.” Her mother’s eyes floated to Jax, who was now standing behind the sofa. “Who’s he? What happened to Camden?”

  “Mom, this is Jax Carmichael, and Jax, this is my mother, Erica Keaton. Jax is visiting from LA.”

  “Nice to meet you, Ms. Keaton,” Jax said.

  “What do you do in LA?”

  “I sing in a band.”

  “Oh, you wouldn’t happen to be affiliated with Carmichael Studios, would you?”

  Jax eyes instantly cooled. “My dad might be affiliated with the studio,” he answered evasively.

  Bre’s eyes flew to Jax’s face. She knew his father was involved in the movie industry, but she’d never put the pieces of the puzzle together.

  Bre’s mom’s face morphed instantly into the familiar sugary sweet smile that made Bre’s stomach turn. Most people thought her mother was charming, but Bre thought of her mother as a predator that chewed people up and spit them out when she was done using them, and the way she was looking at Jax made her ill.

  Instead of shaking his hand, her mother stood up and hugged him, rubbing her hand up and down his back. “Any friend of Bre’s is a friend of mine.”

  Jax’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thanks,” he said stiffly, untangling himself from her hold. Almost immediately, he sat down next to Bre, placing his hand o
n her leg. Bre smiled inwardly at his clear rebuff of her mom’s advances.

  Bre’s mom eyed his proprietary placement of his hand. “So I guess Cam is history. That’s interesting. I thought you two would end up married with kids and a picket fence any day now.”

  “Cam and I are still together,” Bre responded defensively, a pink blush staining her cheeks.

  Bre’s mom let out a sarcastic laugh. “Really? From the looks of you two curled up on the sofa together, I would’ve never guessed. Maybe Cam is willing to overlook more than most men, but the scene I walked into didn’t look very innocent.”

  “Jax and I are friends. We just fell asleep on the sofa last night, nothing more.” Bre felt Jax’s hand squeeze her leg.

  “Whatever. Just keep telling yourself that.” Bre’s mom flipped her long blonde hair behind her shoulder.

  Bre had always wished she looked more like her mom with her dainty features, all-American blonde hair and blue eyes, but now, in the morning light, Bre noticed that her beauty seemed to be marked by hard lines and misery.

  Bre was her mother’s polar opposite, in coloring and personality. Her mother was light and breezy, whereas Bre was serious and reserved. Bre obviously resembled the dark haired, olive-skinned father she had never met. She didn’t even know his name. Sometimes she stood in front of the mirror, tracing the lines of her face, wondering what part of her resembled him. True to her selfish nature, her mother always deflected Bre’s interest in her father by saying things like he’s not worth knowing.

  Once she begged her grandmother for his name or any tidbit of information about him, but she looked at Bre with sad eyes, claiming she had to respect her mother’s decisions regarding her father, but that Bre should take comfort in the fact that he was a man worth knowing. Instead of making her feel better, the comment made her feel as though her mother had stolen one more thing from her.

  “Mom, do you need any help?” Bre asked, hoping she could speed up her mother’s departure.

  “No. I don’t need much. Charles promised to buy me a new wardrobe to make up for the loss of my mother. I’m going to stuff some things in my spare bag, and you can ship me the rest. I’ll text you a forwarding address when I’m settled.”