Before You

by Lisa Cardiff

  “Are you okay?” Bre asked, knowing it wasn’t her business, but she hated the pain etched on Jax’s face.

  Jax looked Bre and his face softened. “Yeah. My dad offered to pull some strings to get Chasing Ruin signed by a record label.”

  “Dude, that’s awesome. What label?” Cam asked animatedly.

  “I’m not interested. His price is too high,” Jax said, his eyes simmering with resentment.

  “But—” Cam blurted out.

  “I’m not doing what he wants, not even if it’s the only way we get signed. Don’t bring it up again.” Jax clenched his teeth.

  “Fine, but you owe me an explanation later.” Cam sighed. “So what happened with Katie last night? I stopped by, and I saw her going into your building with your dad. Are you already moving on to the family dinner stage?”

  “Something like that,” Jax mumbled.

  Bre felt tears stinging her eyes and she swallowed hard. She couldn’t believe she actually wanted to say yes to Jax’s proposition yesterday. Women really were interchangeable in Jax’s mind. When she refused, he moved on to the next person in line. God, she was naïve. “I didn’t realize you were still seeing Katie.” Her voice quivered, and she bit her lip, wishing she could recall the words.

  “I’m not,” Jax said curtly, his gray eyes darkening.

  Cam laughed. “You do realize you’re never going to get rid of her if you keep giving her reason to hope you’ll change your mind.”

  “She can believe what she wants. I’m not interested. I’m pretty sure she gets that now.” Jax ran his hands through his thick brown hair and turned to look at Bre with a cynical smile. “I told her I’m interested in someone else, but that doesn’t look promising. I heard she reconciled with her ex.”

  Bre covered her mouth and turned away.

  “Move on. You’re not short on options,” Cam said. “I’m lucky I have Bre—I don’t have to deal with that shit.” Cam kissed Bre on the top of her head.

  Bre was pretty sure her cheeks were flushed from embarrassment. “Cam, we need to go.”

  “Right, babe. Hey, Jax, we’re heading to Santa Monica Boulevard to go shopping and have lunch. We thought you might like to come with us,” Cam offered.

  “Thanks, but I have plans,” Jax replied briskly.

  “Come on, Jax. I need some male companionship. You can’t expect me to suffer alone while Bre shops. I’m sure that violates some sort of man code of conduct. Thou shall never abandon your fellow man on a shopping trip or something like that.” Cam laughed.

  Jax pierced Bre with his eyes, and a tremor shot down her spine. “Bre, do you mind if I come? I know you wanted to spend some quality time with your boyfriend this weekend.”

  The way Jax said the word boyfriend made her stomach turn. To anyone else, it was just a simple word, but to Jax and her, it was clear that he was mocking her relationship with Cam.

  “It’s up to you, Jax. Cam and I have all weekend together, so I don’t mind if you come with us.”

  Jax recoiled. “I can’t wait,” Jax said sarcastically. “Let me get my wallet and we can head out.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  After thirty minutes of shopping, Cam and Jax claimed they needed something to drink, so Bre graciously agreed to meet them in an hour at a nearby restaurant for lunch. Shortly after they left, she found the perfect dress. It was sheer black with black passementerie over an antique gold underlay that was fitted with a strapless sweetheart neckline. Gold peep-toe heels completed the outfit. She spent more than she wanted, but she rationalized it as a celebration of selling her own artwork. She couldn’t wait to wear the outfit.

  When she arrived at the restaurant, she found Cam and Jax drinking beers at a table on the outdoor patio. As she approached, she noticed a few women in the restaurant eyeing Cam and Jax. They didn’t seem to notice, but it both amused and annoyed her that women fluttered around the members of Chasing Ruin even when they weren’t performing.

  “Hey, Babe. That was quick,” Cam said, pushing a glass of iced tea to the open spot next to him at their table.

  “This restaurant is nice. I love the outdoor patio. It’s a private oasis out here,” Bre said, sliding into the open chair.

  “So did you find something to wear tonight?” Cam questioned.

  “Yes.” She slid her shopping bag underneath the table.

  “Are you going to show me?” Cam asked, smiling.

  “You’ll have to wait until tonight. It’s a surprise.” Bre squeezed the lemon into her iced tea.

  “You know how much I love surprises,” Cam replied suggestively. He leaned his shoulder toward Bre and ran his finger lightly down her neck to her collarbone, pausing with his eyebrows raised.

  Jax cleared his throat and Bre turned her attention to him. His expression was unreadable. “So, who’s sitting at our table tonight?”

  “Just the band and our dates.”

  Jax groaned. “Does that mean I need to find a date tonight to make the eight top complete?”

  “No, you have a date. You’re going with Anna, remember? You asked her last weekend.” Cam let out a forced laugh.

  “Strange, I don’t remember asking Anna. She’s not someone I talk to on a regular basis, so I can’t imagine that I would have asked her to go with me. Are you sure about that?” Jax’s eyes were hard and challenging as he studied Cam.

  “So many girls, so little time. Who could remember them all, huh, Jax?” Cam refused to meet Jax’s eyes.

  “Not too many that I would forget asking one on a date, and I would never ask Anna to go anywhere with me.”

  “Wait. I’m confused,” Bre interrupted, turning toward Cam. “You told me Jax had been dating Anna for a month now.”

  “I think Anna might have been dating someone recently, but that person is certainly not me,” Jax replied, returning his attention to Cam.

  “Oh come on, Jax. You don’t have to hide your relationships from Bre. I know Anna isn’t marriage material, but you don’t have to be callous. I saw Anna last night, and she’s looking forward to tonight. You can’t cancel now.”

  “You can’t be serious, Cam. You really want me to bring Anna? You think that’s a good idea? Because I can’t fathom spending an entire night with her hanging on my arm, whispering her venom in my ear.”

  Cam speared one of the appetizers with his fork. “Don’t be an ass,” he said. “It’ll be fun and Anna is friends with Marc and Alec’s dates, so you won’t have to worry about her hanging on you all night.”

  “Seriously, you want me to do this,” Jax replied derisively.

  “Wait, I’m lost. Cam, why do you want Jax to bring this Anna girl if he doesn’t want to?” Bre questioned. “It doesn’t sound as if he likes her.”

  “You’re right. I don’t like her at all.” Jax’s body became rigid.

  Cam raised his beer to his mouth. “Well, you should have considered that before you invited her.” He took a long drink from the bottle. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this. It’s just one night, and it would look bad if you cancelled. We don’t need to deal with that shit.”

  Cam and Jax stared at each other, both refusing to blink. Evidently, Bre was missing a major part of the story involving Anna. “Why is it so important that Anna goes?” she asked, her eyes shifting from Jax to Cam and back to Jax again while she stirred raw sugar into her iced tea.

  “Cam, why don’t you enlighten Bre and explain why it’s so important that I take Anna tonight?” Jax shifted his body in the chair so that his elbows were leaning on the edge of the table in a confrontational manner.

  “She’s connected to the record label that has expressed some interest in the band. I don’t want to screw up the deal, especially if you’re not going to take your dad up on his offer.”

  “What do you mean she’s connected to the record label?” Bre questioned.

  “Her uncle works there. He introduced us… I mean he introduced her to the band. I guess she’s a big fan of
our music,” Cam answered, wiping his mouth with a white linen napkin.

  “That sounds reasonable, Jax, and it is only one night. If it becomes too tedious for you to talk to her, you can leave her with me. I’ll hang out with her. I don’t mind. I’ve encountered all types of people in the art world. I can talk to anybody for a hour or so.”

  “That sounds like a great idea. Cam, don’t you agree? I think Anna and Bre will have plenty of things to talk about. Now that I think about it, I think they have a lot in common. We should sit them right next to each other. Who knows? By the end of the night, they could be best friends. This night is becoming more and more appealing every minute. Should we make a toast to exploring new friendships?” Jax raised his beer bottle and tipped it toward Cam.

  “Jax, don’t be an ass. You promised to help me. The band needs you to do this.”

  Bre sensed an underlying tension at the table and neither Cam nor Jax spoke for what seemed like several minutes.

  “Fine, Cam. I don’t know about the band needing this, but I’ll do it. This is the last time, though. Don’t ask again.”

  “Right. I got your message loud and clear. Just pay attention to Anna tonight and everything will be fine. She likes you.”

  “You think? I’m not so sure about that because I’m pretty sure she’s hung up on one person, and that person isn’t me. You want to talk about that, because I would be happy to discuss who Anna likes.” Jax used the table to push his chair away, his body tense.

  “Jax, back off. This discussion is over,” Cam said, gritting his teeth.

  “Whatever you say, Cam. I’ll make sure Anna enjoys herself tonight.” A trace of a smile edged with contempt rather than humor lingered on his lips.

  An uncomfortable silence settled between them, only to be broken a few minutes later by the ringing of Cam’s phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and sighed. “I have to get this. I’ll be right back.”

  Bre watched Cam walk to the edge of the restaurant patio to answer his phone. He looked like he was arguing with someone and he ran his hands through his hair repeatedly. After a few minutes, he put his phone in the front pocket of his black jeans and walked back toward the table. “Hey,” he smiled. “I’m sorry, but something came up again and I need to cut lunch short. Do you want to stay and eat with Jax or we can get something to go, and I’ll drop you off at my house on my way?”

  Bre tried to smile reassuringly at Cam, but she couldn’t keep the irritation from her voice. “Can’t you finish lunch and take care of whatever it is after lunch? We’ll be done in less than an hour. It can’t be that urgent.”

  “I’m sorry,” Cam said tersely. “It can’t wait. There’s a scheduling conflict that I need to discuss in person.”

  “It’s always something.” She didn’t want to sound petulant, but she couldn’t help it. Cam always promised to spend time with her and it never happened. It was the same old story. Cam had something to do and she was left alone with Jax. She was getting sick and tired being second to anything and everything else in Cam’s life. When would she ever be his first priority? Never seemed like a realistic answer.

  “Bre, seriously. I’m not doing this right now. I’ll see you back at the house in a couple hours.” Cam turned to look at Jax. “Can you get Bre home?”

  “I always do.”

  Cam turned to leave without saying goodbye to Bre. She watched him walk out of the restaurant without turning to look back or acknowledge her. He had already forgotten about her. Feeling Jax’s eyes on her, she absently played with her glass, refusing to look at him. She hated that he witnessed yet another careless dismissal by Cam.

  He slowly rose out of his chair across the table and sat down next to her in the chair Cam had just vacated, casually stretching one arm along the back of her chair. She flinched, feeling his proximity to her body, but she didn’t want him to move his hand. He was too appealing for her peace of mind.

  Afraid she would see pity in his eyes, she refused to look at him. She couldn’t stand the thought of him consoling her over yet another Cam disappearance. But even worse than him consoling her again would be seeing an I told you so look on his face. Concentrating on reading the menu, she ignored him.

  Jax pulled the menu out of her hands and he turned her chin, forcing her to look at him. He leaned forward, his eyes imprisoning her. The gesture was surprisingly intimate, and she swallowed nervously before jerking her face away from his hands.

  “I guess I could say I warned you that Cam would be this way, but—”

  “Jax, I don’t want to talk about it. It’s none of your business.” Pushing her chair back, she stood up. “I’m ready to go. I’m not hungry.”

  “Bre, sit down,” Jax said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back into her chair. “I’m not going to gloat. I want you to be happy. I don’t want to talk about Cam or us for that matter. Let’s sit here and have lunch like two friends and then we’ll take a cab back to Cam’s house. I want you to be happy.”

  “I want to be alone. I’m not in the mood to deal with all this crap right now.” Bre pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes.

  “No, we’re eating if I have to strap you to that chair.”

  “Fine, but it doesn’t mean I’m talking to you.” She folded her arms across her chest.

  “Okay. I just want to say one more thing.”

  “Yes?” Bre said, raising her eyebrows.

  “I don’t think Cam makes you happy anymore. You don’t have to respond, just think about it.”

  “Really? Does that mean you think being with you would make me happy?” Irritated, she stared defiantly at his face, taking in every detail from the small smile playing around his lips to the smoky fire mischievously dancing in his gray eyes.

  “I made you happy last weekend, for a while, anyway. I guess I was just a placeholder for Cam, the second best alternative, right?” he sneered acerbically.

  “Jax, that’s not fair. It wasn’t like that. I just can’t do this to Cam or anybody else. I don’t want to be like my mom. I won’t treat Cam like that, otherwise I’m no better than her.” She looked around, hoping that nobody was listening to the conversation. She lowered her voice. “Jax, this conversation isn’t going anywhere. I don’t understand why you keep talking about it.”

  “You’re right Bre. I don’t know why I bother, either. Obviously, you’re happy with whatever crumbs Cam tosses your way and you know what? I don’t give a shit any longer. I’m done. Find somebody else’s shoulder to cry on,” Jax spit out as he stood up, his face turning cold and hard. He tossed some money on the table. “I trust that you can find your way home. Maybe you could call Cam, and he’ll stop doing whatever or whoever he’s so absorbed with at the moment and pick you up.”

  Jax’s terse, thinly veiling insinuation hit her like a warning slap, causing her stomach to plummet, but instead of being weak, she tipped her chin up defiantly. “What exactly are you trying to infer?”

  Jax turned around, letting his now cold eyes roam down her body, and then he averted his gaze, staring absently at the patio exit. He swept his hand through his brown hair and rubbed the back of his neck, carefully considering what to say. Bre couldn’t help watching the stark relief of the flexed muscles in his arms and shoulders in fascination. It took too much willpower to keep her eyes on his face. She hated that he made her notice him even when he acted like an asshole.

  “Make what you want of it. I’m done trying to force you to open you eyes and see what’s right in front of your face.”

  Jax turned to look at her then, his eyes narrowed, and she blanched in response to the obvious resentment painted across his face. She didn’t know if he intended to direct his resentment at her or Cam, but either thought made her ill.

  “And according to you, what’s right in front of my face?”

  Detecting her uneasiness, Jax’s face softened briefly, but his mask returned so quickly, she wasn’t sure she read his emotions accurately. “So many things, Bre,
but you refuse to see any of them.” Jax looked away momentarily. “Even if I told you what was blatantly obvious to most people, you wouldn’t believe what I said. You see what you want to believe. Telling you otherwise would be a waste of time. You’ll only see it when you’re ready.”

  “Just tell me!” Bre said almost desperately.

  Jax started walking toward the exit again, and without turning around he said, “It wouldn’t change anything. You made your choice a long time ago. Goodbye, Bre. Have a nice life.”

  Watching Jax walk away was more painful than she could have ever imagined. She could feel the couple at the table next to her staring, and she wanted to crawl out of her skin and float away, but she kept her eyes averted and concentrated on flagging down the server. She told herself that having Jax in her life was too complicated. It was better this way. She just hoped she started believing that at some point soon.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The only conceivable place for a charity event to take place was at the Montage Beverly Hills Hotel. It was located in the Golden Triangle, steps from the legendary shopping and dining of Rodeo and Canon Drives. The hotel itself was magnificent with its Spanish Revival architecture, reminiscent of the glamour estates of California from the 1920s and 1930s.

  “This will be fun, Bre,” Cam said as he opened her car door and grabbed her hand.

  She smiled timidly, uncomfortable making small talk with strangers. She did enough of that with her clients at the gallery, and she really preferred to spend quality time with Cam so she could make some decisions about the future of their relationship.

  Walking into the large banquet room, she immediately noticed the high, decorative ceilings of the ballroom with its chandeliers. Large white flower centerpieces graced each round table. The dim lighting contributed to the fairytale ambience of the room.

  At least two hundred people milled around the ballroom, laughing and making conversation. A breezy fusion jazz band played on a stage lined with white flowers in rectangular boxes in front of a large dance floor that strategically reflected the light of the oversized chandeliers.