Before You

by Lisa Cardiff

  Before Bre could respond, Jax grabbed a fistful of Cam’s shirt, his eyes blazing with anger, and punched him in the face. Then he shoved him backwards into the wall. Cam covered his bloodied nose with both of his hands. “You don’t know shit!”

  “Jax, stop it!” Bre screamed, running toward Cam. “Cam, are you okay?”

  Cam ignored her, his angry eyes trained on Jax. “What the hell, Jax?”

  “Don’t talk to her that way.” Jax refused to allow Cam to twist this confrontation to make himself the martyr. If Cam had treated Bre like he should have, Bre wouldn’t have broke up with him or given Jax the time of day, regardless of their attraction to each other.

  “I can talk to her however I want.” He wiped his nose with the top of his hand. “Bre, I thought you were unique, but when it comes down to it, you’re just as self-absorbed as your mother.”

  Bre gasped and her face paled. Jax watched tears stream down her face. “Get out, Cam. If you wanted to give her another reason to hate you, you succeeded. After all the times you cheated on her, you actually think you have the moral high ground to say shit like that? You’re a joke.”

  Cam stalked back toward Jax. “I’m a joke?” He shoved Jax in the chest. “You’re pathetic. What kind of guy sleeps with his friend’s girlfriend?”

  “Don’t fight!” Bre shouted through her tears. Both Jax and Cam ignored her.

  Jax returned Cam’s shove, his face only inches from Cam’s. “She’s your ex-girlfriend. You never got back together.”

  “Oh, I get it. That’s why you offered to fly to Aspen to give her the plane ticket. You knew that we broke up, you saw your opening, and you decided to take it. I didn’t know you were so desperate that you had to resort to sleeping with my sloppy seconds.”

  Jax opened his front door. “I bought a ticket to Aspen for her opening before you decided to bail on her. Unlike you, I understood how important the opening was to her.”

  “Fuck you. You don’t know anything. You think you understand Bre? Well, you’re wrong. You’ll never understand her like I do. We have a history.”

  “You may have her history, but she’s my future. Get out of my house before I hit you again, and this time I won’t stop,” he responded through clenched teeth.

  “You two can have each other.” Cam grabbed his keys off the entry table.

  Jax held out his hand as Cam walked by him. “Give me the key to my house.”

  Cam twisted the key off his keychain and dropped it into Jax’s open hand. “I can’t believe you’re going to throw away the band for a woman. You two won’t make it a month.”

  “Who says I’m throwing the band away? I invited you into the band, and I can disinvite you.”

  “Fuck you. I have connections, too. I can find another band.” Cam stormed out of the front door.

  Slamming the door behind him, Jax cautiously looked over at Bre, who was sitting on the floor with her knees curled up to her chest. She had stopped crying, but her eyes were glazed over, as though she were lost in her thoughts. He walked toward her.

  “Bre,” Jax said, crouching in front of her. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t want everything to go down like that. That sucked.”

  “I know. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have come here last night.” Bre shook her head as though she wanted to erase the last twenty minutes from her memory.

  “Don’t say that. Last night was perfect.” He didn’t want Bre to dwell on what happened with Cam. He wanted the rest of the weekend to be about them. Besides, if Cam cared for Bre as much as he said he did, Jax suspected that Cam would forgive Bre at some point. They had too much history for either of them to hate the other for any length of time. As for the band, he didn’t think Cam would walk away when they were so close to getting signed, and if Jax were honest, he didn’t want Cam to leave the band. He wanted to smooth things over, but if that wasn’t possible, he could find someone else. The band had done it before and they could do it again.

  “And what about this morning?” Bre leaned her hand against her forehead.

  “This morning was perfect, too,” Jax said, flashing his bright white signature grin, trying to cheer her up. “I thought you enjoyed the guitar lesson.”

  “Jax, stop it!” she replied with a small, wry smile. “That’s not what I was talking about and you know it. You’re trying to change the subject.”

  “Is it working?” Jax ran his hand over the top of her head.

  “Absolutely not. What are we going to do about Cam?”

  “Honestly? I don’t know. I’m still digesting the whole thing.” Jax held out his hand to her to help her up from the floor.

  “I don’t want what we did to mean the end of Chasing Ruin. You guys are so close to being signed. It makes me sick to think that what I did could destroy everything.”

  “Look, I’m not worried about it, so you shouldn’t be, either. I’ll call Cam later. I’m sure we’ll be able to work things out. No more discussions about Cam or the band for the next few hours.”

  “We need to talk about this. We can’t let all this craziness fester.”

  “No, we don’t need to talk about it right this minute.” Jax traced the line of her jaw with his fingers. “Do you want to go out for lunch?”

  She groaned. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m up to it.”

  “Well, I don’t have anything to eat in my house, and I think a change of scenery will be good for both of us.”

  Bre’s stomach rumbled.

  “See? Your stomach agrees,” Jax smiled mischievously.

  “If I agree to go to lunch, will you agree that we can talk about this mess there?”

  “That’s my plan. Let’s get dressed.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  An hour later, Bre found herself sitting in a rounded corner booth in a dark restaurant bar in West Hollywood. Bar food wasn’t her preference, but Jax claimed they needed comfort food after the morning they had. Apparently, this place served the best burgers in town. Bre was skeptical and made a small grunt of protest as they walked into the bar, but it was more for show than anything. The idea of a greasy burger made her stomach grumble, and she had to admit the corner booth provided a lot of privacy, which was a plus for the conversation they were about to have.

  Jax scooted in next to her and ran his hand up the inside of her thigh, resting it just inside the hem of her black and white full skirt. Her mind immediately flashed to her not so innocent guitar lessons earlier that morning.

  And now she was cursing Jax for making her go to lunch. She would have preferred to stay in his bedroom for the rest of the day ignoring reality.

  Jax made small talk with the waitress, who had obviously waited on him several times before. As he discussed his version of the perfect burger with the waitress, Bre stared at his lips and the way his faded black t-shirt stretched so perfectly across his chest. All she could think about was running her hand through his shaggy brown hair and pulling him toward her so she could explore those lips a little more. Now that she decided to let go of her guilt and uncertainty in order to make things work with Jax, she admitted that she might be slightly obsessed with him, not in a nutty stalker way, but in a she wanted to be around him all the time way.

  “Bre,” Jax said, interrupting her thoughts. “Does that sound good to you?”

  “What?”

  He smiled in amusement, and an answering smile pulled on her lips almost as is if his happiness were contagious. “Were you even listening to a word I said? I ordered for you.”

  “I guess I was thinking about something else.”

  “I ordered us both a California Burger, medium.” Jax pulled the menu out of her hand and gave it to the waitress.

  “That’s fine.”

  The waitress stuck her pencil behind her ear and walked away without comment.

  Jax leaned his forehead against hers. “Did you want to know what’s on it or do you trust my judgment?”

  “You said t
his was the best burger, so I’m taking you up on that challenge. I seriously doubt it could beat the place down the street from my gallery, but I’ll keep an open mind.”

  “Now, I’m nervous. I might need to go into the kitchen and supervise to make sure everything is perfect.”

  She laughed a light carefree sound that made her feel happy. “Oh no. No interference or coaching is allowed.”

  “Well, the same goes for you when you take me to the place in Aspen.”

  Bre looked away and busied herself unrolling her silverware from the white paper napkin. For some reason, the idea of Jax coming to Aspen made her surprisingly uncomfortable. No, that was a lie. The thought of people seeing her out with Jax near her home where everyone knew Cam made her cringe. She didn’t want people to start comparing her to her mother.

  “Jax, what are we going tell everyone about us?” Bre questioned, placing the napkin in her lap.

  “Why do we need to tell anybody anything? We’re dating. I don’t think explanations are needed.”

  “People are going to say really mean things about me.” Bre twisted her fork in circles.

  Jax grabbed her hand. “Like who? Alec and Marc won’t say much as long as I’m able to keep the band on track, and I’m sure Sara and Michael will support you. Beyond that, nobody matters,” Jax said.

  “I don’t want people talking behind my back at home. Everybody gossiped about my mom when I was a kid. They still do. I don’t want be like her.” Bre looked down at her lap. “And I don’t want Cam’s parents to hate me or think less of me,” Bre whispered candidly.

  Jax squeezed her hand lightly and then released it. “Then we won’t tell anyone about us right now. You can tell people you and Cam broke up because the long distance thing wasn’t working. I live in LA, you live in Colorado, so we don’t need to announce anything until we’re ready.”

  Bre adjusted the salt and pepper shakers on the table. “You don’t mind?”

  Jax leaned back against the booth and looked away momentarily. “Honestly? I do mind, but I know this is complicated. You and Cam have been best friends for a long time and Cam’s part of the band. We should be respectful and not throw our relationship in anybody’s face, so waiting to say anything is probably the right decision, even if it feels wrong.”

  Bre released a deep breath and hugged her arms around her body. “Thanks.” Her voice came out shaky. “It’s just for a couple months.”

  “When do you leave?” Jax said, changing the subject.

  “Tomorrow morning.” Bre dropped her head in her hands. “Oh shit. I left my wallet at Cam’s house. I need my ID and money.”

  “I’ll go get it tonight.”

  “No,” she said, dropping her hands from her face. “I should be the one to get it. You guys will fight, and I don’t want to cause more problems.”

  “Then we’ll go together,” Jax said, pushing her hair away from her face.

  “No!” Bre yelled a little too loudly, panicking. She couldn’t visit Cam with Jax. She hated that Cam cheated on her and lied to her, but that didn’t erase their history or the countless ways he and his family supported her throughout her life. “That’s a million times worse. Cam and I have been friends for a long time. I can drop by and get my wallet. Besides, it will give me a chance smooth things over.” Bre sighed miserably.

  Jax didn’t talk for a long moment, his breathing rough. “I won’t let you go alone.”

  “Why?” Bre asked, puzzled. “He’s not going to hurt me.”

  “I’m not worried about that, but we’re finally together and—” Jax exhaled loudly. “I don’t want you to get back together with Cam.”

  Bre stared at him in complete disbelief. “I’m not going to do that. Don’t you trust me?”

  “For the most part, but you have to admit that every time we get close, you run back to him. I’m not going to stand by passively if he steals you from me again.”

  “What?” Bre said, releasing a confused laugh. She had pushed Jax away a few times, but she wouldn’t do that again. He should understand that, but then she replayed his words in her head and her confusion morphed into anger. “I’m not a toy that you and Cam are fighting over on the playground. I’m a real person. I decide what I do and who I’m with. Cam can’t steal me.”

  “I don’t think you’re a toy. I’m trying to explain how I feel about you, about us.”

  Bre locked eyes with Jax. “Okay. Point taken, but you’re not coming with me to Cam’s house. You have to trust that I want to be with you and that should be enough.”

  The waitress cleared her throat. “Here’s your food,” she said, sliding two plates with giant hamburgers in front of them. “Can I get you anything else?”

  “We’re good,” Jax said.

  Bre took a bite of her hamburger, hoping to end the conversation. “Mm…” she said after she swallowed, “You were right. This is really good.”

  Jax smiled at her. “I know. Does it measure up to the competition?”

  “It’s close, but I still think my place is better.”

  “We’ll see.”

  The two ate the remainder of their meal in silence. When they got back into Jax’s car, he hesitated for a moment, tapping his fingers on his leather steering wheel. “Bre, I trust you. I don’t trust Cam, and I know in spite of everything Cam said and what happened between us, he still wants you back. He’s going to fight for you, and I’m not going to walk away if that happens. That’s not true. I won’t give you up unless you want me to, and even then I’ll do everything, short of stalking, to get you to change your mind.”

  “Okay,” Bre said, smiling softly. She didn’t want him to walk away. Everyone walked away from her, even Cam. He left her to follow his dream, and he didn’t ask her to come with him. He thought he could put their relationship on hold indefinitely while he hooked up with other women behind her back.

  Jax pulled her next to him, wrapping his arm around her and tangling his hands in her long hair. They both were quiet for a few moments. “I love you, Bre. You might think it’s too soon to say that, but I want you to be clear about the way I feel so you have no doubts when you talk to Cam.”

  Bre ran her fingers over Jax’s stubbled jaw line, then leaned her face away from him so she could see his eyes. “I love you, too.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Around five o’clock that night, Bre knocked on the door to Cam’s apartment, shoving her hands in her pocket when she noticed that they trembled. It had been a long afternoon after she texted Cam, asking if she could stop by to talk and grab her wallet. She wished she was back at Jax’s place. She’d had enough drama for one weekend, but she knew it wasn’t over yet. She still had to face Cam.

  Cam answered the door and smiled faintly. “Come in.”

  Bre hesitantly stepped into his apartment, taking in the usual clutter and stopped suddenly. “What’s she doing here?” Bre asked.

  “Why don’t you sit down and we can talk? Katie has a few things she wants to share with you.”

  “I don’t want to talk to her,” Bre said, avoiding looking at Katie’s face. She knew Katie wanted to discuss Jax, and she didn’t want to hear anything about Jax and Katie together. Katie wanted Jax. That was obvious, and she didn’t have any illusions that Katie was going to be friendly or accepting of her relationship with Jax. “I’m here to pick up my wallet and to talk to you. Not to be part of some weird confrontation.”

  Cam placed his hand on the back of Bre’s neck, and she bristled at his proprietary touch. Funny how a couple days ago she would have been comforted by it, but now it felt suffocating.

  “She’s part of this too, Bre. She’s doesn’t want to hurt you or yell at you. I asked her to be here so she could explain a few things to you.” Cam sighed. “I didn’t think you’d believe me, but you might believe her. I think you’re entitled to the truth, and that’s the only reason she’s here. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable.”

  Bre shrugged his hand off
her neck and started walking backwards toward the door. “I don’t think I’m interested in what she has to say. If she has unfinished business with Jax, she should discuss it with him, not me.” Bre held out her hand. “Give me my wallet. I’ll call you in a couple days to talk.”

  Katie stood up from the sofa, pushing her long blonde hair behind her ear. “Did Jax tell you we’re engaged?”

  Bre’s hand dropped limply to her side, barely hearing anything because of the blood rushing through her ears. “Excuse me,” she said, trying to ignore the sudden dryness in her throat.

  Katie smiled condescendingly. “Of course you didn’t know. Jax fought it for awhile and walked away from his family—everything—but now everything has been settled.”

  “I don’t believe you,” Bre whispered.

  “Do you know why his dad cut him off from everything and refused to support his music career?” Katie said, putting her hands on her hips.

  Bre shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, but she feared everyone in the room could hear her heart beating. “Yes. His dad wanted him to work with him. He refused. I don’t know what this has to do with anything,” Bre said, her voice trailed off as she shook her head.

  “Well,” Katie smirked. “That’s only part of the story. My dad and Jax’s dad are business partners. They want the business united, and that’s where Jax and I come into the picture. That was the other part of the ultimatum. We get married.”

  Bre gnawed on the inside of her cheeks to hold in her gasp. She didn’t like where this story was headed. “They hoped you would marry. So what?”

  Katie rolled her eyes condescendingly. “As you know, Jax loves music and his dad wanted him to give that up, but that’s not the case anymore. As long as we marry, his dad will support his music career, and that means the band will be signed immediately.”

  “You want him to marry you as part of some deal when he doesn’t love you?” Bre snapped.