Pregnant By My Mother's Rapist

by Niki Jilvontae

  It was less than four seconds before my uncle Bear and five more huge security guards ran up the stairs and helped the old head clear house. In minutes, all those young niggas were either handcuffed and bleeding or knocked the fuck out. People on the ground floor had begun to come up to see what was happening and bitches were screaming after they saw all the blood. I didn’t move though, I just stood there with Rah’s arm still in mine while I stared at old sexy.

  “Na Na and Rah, get the fuck out of here now. Aye maine, take them outside and make sure they get there safely.” My uncle yelled to Anthony as he and the other security guards began dragging niggas to the office.

  Anthony ran over to us and told me to come on as other niggas and security ran up the steps. I wasted no time doing what he said as we made our way down the steps and through the crowd which were pushing towards the steps and screaming. By the time we got outside fights were going on out there and we had to run to escape the maylay.

  I didn’t mind though because Anthony’s hand was in mine as I ran and he watched our surroundings. I lead him towards my car in the VIP lot just as the crowd burst out of the club and the shooting started. Several rounds from a drako and handguns filled the air and Anthony grabbed me and Rah to pull us behind a car.

  “Stay right here for a second.” He whispered as he dashed two lines over and got into a black truck.

  I saw him do something quickly as I glanced around and Rah’s old cry baby ass cried next to me.

  “I can’t die at the club in no stolen dress Na Na. We gotta get the fuck out of here.” Rah said and I couldn’t help but to laugh.

  We were from the hood, a bad one at that and there she was crying and shit. I told her to shut the fuck up because we weren’t going to die just as Anthony made it back over to us with a 40 in his hand.

  “Okay, come on beautiful and friend. I gotta get y’all to the car.” Anthony said as he cocked his gun then grabbed me gently by the hand.

  I let him pull me to my feet as I grabbed Rah’s hand and pulled her up as well. In seconds Anthony had weaved us through the lot and past the bullets that were still flying, to the safety of my car.

  “Oh shit we made it.” Rah said when we were inches away and as soon as she did a girl ran by and we watched a bullet go straight through her head.

  “WHAT THE FUCK? OH MY GOD!” I yelled hysterically as Anthony grabbed me in his arms and hid my face.

  Before I knew it he had snatched the keys out of my hand, threw them to Rah and she unlocked the car. I remained wrapped up in the good smelling ass arms of Anthony until he opened the passenger door and put me in.

  “Aiight y’all get the fuck out of here, this shit getting stupid. I’ll see you again beautiful.” Anthony said as a shot went off by his head and he had to bend down into the car for cover.

  His face was in my lap as he hid and I bent down to touch my head on his. When the shots got further away he finally sat up and smiled at me.

  “Get out of here.” He yelled then stood up and closed the door.

  As soon as the door closed he was gone and ran right back into the middle of the fight. He didn’t have to tell Rah a third time to leave though because she cranked up the moment he ran off. I looked back and saw him beating a nigga like a lunatic with his gun just as we pulled out.

  If I had been in my right mind or had a better female influence that might have been something to deter me away from him. However, without those things all I saw was a fine, kind brother and I wanted his ass. I thought about Anthony the entire time we rode silently to the Hilton in east Memphis and got us a room for the weekend. When we parked in the parking lot we finally broke our silence and began to talk at the same time.

  “That shit was crazy.” Rah said as I said I really liked dude and she looked at me.

  My conversation trumped Rah’s at that moment because she instantly went in on that.

  “I can see why you like him now, that nigga is fine, smooth, and gansta as fuck. Sorry I called him an old nigga at first, but I really like Anthony. I can tell he likes you and I know you like him too so fuck age bitch. CALL HIM!” Rah yelled as she laughed and I laughed then sighed.

  I wanted to call him, hell I wanted to lay up with his ass but there was no way I could do either.

  “Bitch I wish I could but I ain’t even get his number. Hell, I don’t even know the nigga last name to look him up on Facebook. I’m just fucked up Rah, damn. I bet he can put it down too.” I said with my bottom lip poked out and Rah’s old low down ass laughed at me.

  “Bitch, you didn’t get his number? What the fuck you was doing all damn night? The more I teach your simple ass the dumber you get.” Rah said laughing as she hit me with a Poetic Justice line.

  I reached over and punched that bitch in her arm as I laughed too but on the inside I cried because I really wanted to talk to Anthony. I couldn’t get him off my mind as we sat there for a few more seconds and Rah made jokes.

  “I guess the shit wasn’t meant to be then. If it is, I’ll see him again.” I finally said and Rah agreed as we began to get out of the car.

  As soon as I stepped one foot out a phone went off and I looked down to see a chrome Iphone 7 plus at my feet. I looked at Rah confused as she shrugged her shoulders and I reached down to get the phone. I looked at the screensaver and saw a picture of a beach and got even more confused than before. Nobody I knew would have some corny shit like that and I knew it wasn’t Rah’s. Curiosity over the mysterious phone caused me to answer it and I was happy as fuck that I did. As soon as I said hello Anthony’s deep, sultry voice filled my ears and I fell in love again.

  “Hello, my name is Anthony and I think you found my phone.” He said as I mouthed its him to Rah and we twerked in our seats.

  I quickly pulled my shit together and cleared my throat before I put the phone back to my ear.

  “Yes Anthony, this is Kaniyah. Your phone was in my car. I guess you dropped it when you bent down and I just found it.” I said as I heard him chuckle and my heart sang.

  “Ain’t that something, I was just thinking about you beautiful. Damn, I’m glad you found my phone. This is the excuse I need sooo can I invite you to breakfast in the morning so that I can get my phone and possibly get to know you better?” Anthony asked as I moved the phone away from my face and silently went crazy in my seat.

  I danced and hunched as Rah laughed then I put the phone back to my ear.

  “Yes, sure Anthony that sounds great. I’d be happy to have breakfast with you.” I said as Rah did kissing noises and gave me five.

  “Okay, great. I can’t wait. I guess I’ll call you on my phone at about 10 in the morning so we can figure out where we are going. Goodnight beautiful.” Anthony said and I told him goodnight before I hung up.

  When I hung up the phone me and Rah turned up as we danced our way into the hotel. We got us a huge suite to spend the rest of the weekend in and went straight to the bathroom as soon as we were inside. I showered and thought about Anthony while Rah took off her makeup. When I got out she went in and I sat down with Anthony’s phone. To my surprise, it wasn’t locked and I was able to get in without a problem. I spent about 20 minutes going through his texts and social media and I didn’t find shit. Most of his conversations were about his construction business, he didn’t even have inboxes from chicks on Facebook.

  “My kind of nigga.” I said out loud to myself as Rah came out of the bathroom and asked me what was up.

  I told her how I had went through Anthony’s phone and lurked on his Facebook page only to find nothing.

  “Bitch, I bet you just ain’t looking right.” Rah said as she took it and got to work.

  I laid down on my bed and watched her as she sat in the chair and lurked. After a few minutes she threw it on my bed as she got up and walked towards the suite door that went to her side.

  “Bitch you right, ain’t shit in there. I think that scares me the most. Every nigga got at least one thing to hide. This nigga might be on
something else. I’m talking about some Jeffrey Dahmer, eat yo muthafucking face shit. Be careful Na Na, that’s all I’m gonna say. He is fine though.” Rah said as we both laughed and she went into her room.

  I laughed but something inside me said that Rah could be right. I didn’t want to believe it even though I knew he did seem to be too good to be true. I thought about Anthony and what Rah said until I fell asleep with his phone in my hand. That night my beautiful dream was mixed with a nightmare, one I should have taken as a warning.

  Chapter 4

  I woke up the next morning feeling lighter and happier than I had ever been. Anthony's voice still rang in my ears and I could still smell the scent of his cologne as I sat up in my bed and stretched.

  "Today might be a good day. " I said to myself as I picked up the phone I had slept with in my hand and went into Anthony's photo gallery.

  I settled back down into my bed, deep under the covers as I flipped through the pictures in his phone. I couldn't help but to smile as I stared down at images of his handsome face in various settings. Some were him at the beach, some at home, and some were of him looking all sexy at work. In every picture, he was as handsome as ever with this regal, mysterious air.

  I stared into his beautiful hazel eyes on one picture when he was younger and for some reason I felt this deep connection. I figured it was because I liked him so much, which I decided was the same reason he had evaded my dreams. That night before I had dreamed of me and him laying up in bed, cuddling after a long night of love making. The dream felt so real I could almost feel his hands on me and feel the warmth of his breath. My dream went on like that for a while, all beautiful and shit until suddenly a bitch with a mask on bust in.

  She came in strapped and went straight for Anthony, determined to make him pay for something. I tried to jump up and intervene, but Anthony told me it wasn't my fight as he slowly got out of bed, walked up to the masked woman, and she blew his head off. I screamed to the top of my lungs until I woke up at about 3:15 am in a cold fucking sweat. I guess Anthony had felt a connection to me too and knew that I was up because at that moment I got a text on his phone.

  ‘Woke up out my sleep thinking about you beautiful. I hope I'm on your mind too. See you tomorrow baby.’ Anthony wrote and when I read it my fears and memories of my dream were gone. I was able to fall right back to sleep and wake up refreshed after that. That eerie, nagging feeling I had when my dream flipped to a nightmare was gone and I was ready to face the day. That's where I was at in my mind as I laid there and continued to scroll through his pics. I was ready for that happy, loving, carefree part of my life that my aunt V said was destined to come.

  I was beginning to think that it probably would come too as I smiled at the handsome face of the man I was feeling. That was until I scrolled up on old pic of a beautiful newborn baby girl dressed in all pink laying on a bed. For some reason that pic gave me that same eerie feeling I had in my dream. I don't know why but my heart raced so fast in my chest I felt like I was going to pass out.

  "What the fuck? Who is this baby and why does it matter so much to me?" I asked myself out loud as I closed my eyes and tried to focus on erasing that feeling.

  I laid there with Anthony's phone in hand and replayed the whole scenario of when we met in my mind until I was calm again. When I could think of nothing more than the feel of his touch and sound of his voice I opened my eyes again and put down his phone.

  "That's what I get for lurking." I told myself as I laughed and sat back up in the bed.

  As soon as I was up and about to get out of the bed my phone rang and I reached over to pick it up off the nightstand. I looked at the screen and saw my uncle Tootie's number before I sighed and answered.

  "Hey Unc was up? I didn't know you get up this early. It's 7:15 am on a Saturday so I know this ain’t a fucking social call. What I do now?" I asked giggling as my uncle chuckled on the other end.

  "Yeah you know I'm fina get on yo ass, so you better get yo laughs out now. " Uncle Tootie said and I laughed louder, ready for him to fucking spit it out.

  I already had an idea of what he wanted, calling me all early the night after that shit with Spicy and Jug had gone down. I knew my brother had kept his word and that Uncle Tootie’s impromptu call had something to do with it. I found out my suspicions were right too as soon as my uncle opened his mouth.

  "Maine, tell me why I had to climb out of some wet, deep, gripping ass pussy last night just to go with that maniac you call a brother and get yo shit back. Maine, when I tell you KJ got issues I mean that shit for real. Now don't get me wrong, I've done my dirt; shot, beat, and killed niggas, but your brother is a muthafucking sadistic fool. This nigga beat that maine for over 30 minutes with every fucking thing he could find. I had to pull his crazy ass off when the nigga started gurgling and shit, choking on his own blood. KJ was like an animal though, focused on fucking the maine off." Uncle Tootie said as I listened intently and my heart beat in my throat.

  As he continued to describe the gruesome scene I closed my eyes and prayed that my brother wouldn't catch a charge and that there would be no retaliation. That was the last thing I wanted, for one of my brothers to suffer for my sins. That was the fear I held on to as I opened my eyes and listened while my uncle paused the story and yelled orders to someone in his background. When he came back to the phone I prepared myself for whatever else he was about say.

  "So after I pulled KJ off the nigga and we snatched up all the shit we wanted I was expecting us to dip but your brother had other ideas. So I went to grab the Play Station 4 we missed that the nigga had hid in the back room and when I come back the nigga was on fire. KJ crazy ass had poured rubbing alcohol all over the nigga's groin and set that ass on fire. I tell you I ain't never heard anybody scream the way that nigga was in there screaming. That shit was a bit much, even for me so I put his bitch ass out then looked at KJ. The look in your brother's eyes told me not to fuck with him, but I had to ask him what it was about anyway." Uncle Tootie said and I asked him what was KJ's response.

  "He said the nigga deserved it for fucking with his sister and that his mama needed to pay too. I didn't even stress that shit after that because I saw he was on some Jessie Dotson type of shit. Hell, I didn't want that crazy ass young nigga plotting on me, so I wiped shit down then we dipped. That brings me to this conversation, you tell me what the fuck happened. " Uncle Tootie said and I took a deep breath.

  I knew I would have to have that conversation with him at some point, and I knew there was no way around the truth. That's why I didn’t attempt to sugar coat shit. Nope, I gave my uncle the whole ugly, raw, uncut truth. I told him all about how Spicy had fucked Jug on some revenge shit, about the fight, and Jug harassing me. By the time I finished my story I could hear frustration in my uncle's voice just like I had heard in KJ's.

  "WHAT THE FUCK? SPICY AND YO NIGGA? IN THE HOUSE?" My Uncle Tootie asked in disbelief as I reiterated that it had happened.

  I could hear my uncle sighing and grunting as he moved the phone away from his ear and tried to gather his thoughts.

  "Uncle Tootie, it's okay. I'm over this shit. I'm used to Spicy treating me like trash and I knew Jug wasn’t shit. Now I'm just on some I don't give a fuck shit because I know don't nobody love me like ME!" I said to my uncle as he told me how wrong I was.

  "Naw Na Na, that's not true, a lot of people love you. Your grandma, aunts, uncles, brothers, and me. Hell Spicy love you too beneath her selfish, childish ass behavior. I don't know what the fuck wrong with my little sister but I do know this is an all-time low, even for her. Now I understand why KJ did what he did. Now I wish I would have done more. I bet that Jug nigga won't be fucking nobody else mama no time soon though. Be done with that weak ass nigga now Na Na. I mean that for real." My uncle said with that seriousness in his voice that I feared.

  I knew Tootie meant what he said as he repeated it again and I told him that I wouldn't.

  "I don't even wonna think about his tr
ifling ass no more Unc let alone actually talk to him. You don't have to worry about that. Hell, I ain't got shit else to say to Spicy either because she should have known better. What type of mama does that to her child and still sleeps at night?" I asked my uncle and he told me he simply didn't know.

  Tootie went on to say that I had to try to talk to Spicy. He said that Sunday he would make sure she was at home so that we could talk.

  "I know it's hard Na Na after all she has done, but you gotta sit down and talk to your mother. Something happened to Spicy Na Na, because she wasn't always this way. I think now it has just gone on for far too long and she doesn't know how to stop it. I can though. You just be there by 7 Sunday Na Na and have an open mind. I'm about to get on the phone with my sister now and straighten this shit out. And don't worry about the talk turning violent either because I got that shit on lock. I love you nieces pieces, with all of me.” My uncle Tootie said before I told him that I loved him too and hung up the phone.

  Tears fell from my eyes when I hung up the phone as I thought about how much my uncle loved me but my mother couldn’t. That shit almost put me back into that depressed mood but I thought about my breakfast with Anthony and suddenly shit didn’t seem so bad.

  “Bitchhhh you ready to get up and get fine so Anthony can taste those snacks?” Rah said as she walked into my room, puffing a blunt with a big smile on her face.

  I could do nothing but bust out laughing as she began hunching the bed and making sex noises.

  “Oh Anthony, eat these snacks. Oh baby taste my groceries. Rub your salt and pepper beard all in this honey pot granddaddy. Ohhh Rip Van Winkle.” Rah’s petty ass said laughing as I fell out laughing with her.