Pregnant By My Mother's Rapist

by Niki Jilvontae

  “Uh say something and quit pointing these damn flowers in my face.” Rah finally said as she plucked one orchid out of the bunch and threw it on the floor.

  I saw shit was going left at that point so I shook off the rest of the shock from my dream before I jumped up to rescue the kids.

  “Yes, how can I help y’all? You know, rescue you from the crazy lady.” I said as I grabbed the hotel robe off of the chair and walked to the door.

  I had to grab Rah’s crazy ass by her shoulders and move her out of the door as she laughed and the kids finally laughed too.

  “Excuse my friend you guys. She plays too damn much. But anyway, I’m Kaniyah, how can I help you?” I asked as they all loosened up and the girl told me she had a delivery for me.

  “For me? From Who?” I said as I moved to the side and allowed them to bring the things in.

  I couldn’t imagine who all that shit could have been from since no one really knew where we were. Anthony was the only person I had mentioned the hotel we were at too but even then, I didn’t tell him the room number. I stood there looking crazy as my mind worked and the kids set up all the shit while Rah stared them down. When they were almost done I suddenly looked up and met Rah’s gaze. The look on her face said it all, it was a big ass I told you so.

  “The card says from Anthony to Kaniyah, the brightest star I’ve ever seen.” Rah said as she read the card attached to the bouquet of white orchids and then rolled her eyes. “I told you bitch, this nigga a stalker; now look at all this shit. I bet you didn’t even tell him where you were at did you?” Rah said as she knocked a few of the bears over and then sat down on the bed.

  I waited until the kids had finished setting everything up and the girl gave me a sealed envelope then left before I turned to Rah.

  “Hell naw, well kind of. I told him the name of the hotel but I never said which location or the room number. That means he still had to call around and find out which hotel we were at then call to this one and ask what room I was in. That’s sweet as fuck.” I said as I ohhh and ahhed while I inspected all the gifts.

  In a way I did think it was cute; in some moving fast, semi stalker kind of way. Rah didn’t think it was cute at all though and she made sure I knew it.

  “Hell naw it ain’t cute bitch. This shit creepy as hell. That nigga on yo ass tough already and all y’all had was one and a half date. That old dick better be good if it come attached to all that. Hell, I don’t even know if you should give him some though if he this sprung on just talking.” Rah said as I listened and heard what she had to say.

  Part of me felt everything she said but that hurt part of me felt his love more.

  “Yeah, this a bit much and I’m gonna talk to him about that. Now as far as the sex goes, if he anything like my dream, his ass on point. That’s the nightmare I just had fool. He dicked me down but damn near killed me at the same fucking time. That nigga was on that S&M shit.” I said to Rah as she turned to look at me and waited on me to explain.

  I told her all about my dream as I looked at all the flowers and bears and by the time I finished Rah was confident his ass was a pyscho.

  “Dreams never lie Na Na, believe that. My nana will tell you, if you dream it you believe it and it can come true. I’m telling you all the good parts of him too good to be true because that shit ain’t true.” Rah said and I got a little irritated with her pregnant ass telling me how to run my life.

  I rolled my eyes at her and turned my back as I opened the envelop the girl had given me.

  “OHHH but this true though bitch. Look what else he sent.” I said to Rah as I held up the R. Kelly tickets and $5,000 prepaid card he had sent.

  That was enough to make Rah’s lil money hungry ass forget about her suspicions and my naïve ass too. We squealed and hopped around as I read the letter Anthony had put in the envelope.

  A little token of my appreciation for a beauty such as yourself. Here’s a gift card for you AND RAH, to get beautiful. I’ll call shortly before I meet you at noon. Dress comfy for the fair and pick up something sexy for the night because we’re gonna dance the night away. I can’t wait to see you Kaniyah.

  Love,

  Anthony

  I read that and melted all over again as me and Rah rushed to put on clothes to go shopping. We were dressed in tights and t-shirts in five minutes flat and headed straight out to be at the mall when it opened at nine.

  “Bitch I don’t know, Anthony might be aiight.” Rah said as we walked into the mall and shopped our hearts out.

  I didn’t even think about my dream or the fact that Anthony had tracked me down after that. All I could think about was that prepaid card in my purse with racks on it to spend. Rah and I burned the numbers off that bitch too and at 11 we were back in the room and dressed in shorts, BeBe tank tops, and brand new Jordans. Anthony called me a quarter before noon right after we had packed our bags into my car, and he told us to meet him at the fairgrounds in South Haven close to where the concert would be. I agreed before he told me how anxious he was to see me then we hung up.

  “That nigga feeling you hard Na Na and I know you feeling him too. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he really is that good and we just not used to niggas like that.” Rah said as she shrugged and walked out into the hall.

  “Maybe you’re right Rah. I guess time will tell.” I said as we walked to the car then sped towards Anthony.

  As promised he was there waiting on us at the gate and as soon as we got in the fun began. I won’t lie, that day was like something out of one of those corny white people movies; just fun and smiles all day. We rode damn near every ride in the park and played all the games that we could find. When four rolled around we all sat at one of the tables in the food area, tired and full as hell. We had pigged out on turkey legs, nachos, hotdogs, funnel cakes, and candy apples too. Dozens of bears surrounded us on the tables because Anthony insisted on winning me the biggest bears to take home and remember him by.

  “See this one even looks like me. Maybe you should call him daddy.” Anthony said and I quickly turned to look at him.

  Just hearing him say that took me back to my dream and I suddenly felt uneasy.

  “Well, it’s getting late. You said the concert starts at five. We should get dressed.” I said as that eerie feeling continued to surge through me and I needed to get away from Anthony.

  Rah and I got Anthony to help us take the bears to the car before we told him we would meet him in thirty minutes at the concert hall. He kissed me before he bounced over to his car and disappeared out of the lot. Rah could see something in my face as I sat there and stared ahead while Anthony’s voice echoed in my mind.

  “What’s wrong now Na? Come on let’s get over my auntie house and change right fast.” Rah said as I came out of my daze and told her what I was feeling while I crunk up.

  She sat there and listened intently for a moment before she fired up a blunt and handed it to me.

  “Here bitch, smoke this. You just thinking too damn much. Let it be what it is for now and enjoy your fucking self. If he a phuck boy or a psycho, believe me that shit will come to the light. And if, and when it does the crazy niggas in yo family will handle it. Stop worrying Na Na.” Rah said as she reached over and flicked my hair.

  “Enjoy yourself sis. This might be what true love feels like.” Rah said as I handed her back the blunt and she hit that bitch hard.

  “I really hope so.” I said to myself as I pulled out of the lot.

  Rah and I went to her aunt’s house a block away from the concert hall and got dressed in some sexy, black cut up dresses. My dress was cut so low you could see my navel and Rah’s was cut so high her pussy was hanging out. We must have looked like video vixens because when we stepped out of my car in the VIP line at the concert hall every eye out there was on us. Bitches even stared us down in amazement as we floated to the front of the line and up to the box office where Anthony was waiting.

  “These two are with me.” He said to the securit
y guard and he whisked us away.

  I turned and licked my tongue out at some of the jealous bitches on line as the security ushered us in and straight to the stage. Inside, we were so close to R. Kelly as he rehearsed I could feel his sweat on my skin when it popped off his head.

  “I LOVE YOU R.KELLY. PLEASE READ MY BOOK.” I said as I stood up and held out the small spiral with the latest book I was working on written in it.

  For a second I thought he wouldn’t come and I was getting a little discouraged as I stood there with my hand up. However, after a few seconds he smiled brightly and walked over to grab the book out of my hand.

  “Hey beautiful, read your book?” He asked as he looked down at it.

  “Yes, I want to be a published author someday, so I’d be honored if you read it. All of my info is inside so please let me know what you think.” I said as he smiled brightly and told me that he would.

  I felt elated and light as fuck as I watched him tuck my book safely in his pocket. I almost died though when he reached down, grabbed my hand, and kissed it with his juicy lips. After that I know I stood there for a whole minute as I savored that wonderful feeling. Anthony had to call my name and grab my hand to break that spell Kellz had on me.

  “Damn baby. I thought you were going to marry him. What was all that about?” Anthony said as he leaned over and whispered in my ear as soon as I had sat down.

  I heard hostility in his voice as he whispered to me through clenched teeth like he had done in my dream. I had to turn to see his face after that and I saw something evil flash briefly in his eyes.

  “What do you mean Anthony? Did I do something wrong by giving him my book.” I asked as I stared at him and that evil in his eyes turned back to love.

  He quickly shook his head and told me he was just tripping before he turned back on that Anthony charm. He remained like that the rest of the concert too, his normal, smooth and charming self. By the time R. Kelly sang his last song to the crowd I had forgotten about everything and was back head over heels infatuated with Anthony.

  “This truly has been one of the best nights of my life.” I told him as we stood outside my car after the concert.

  I wrapped my arms around Anthony’s neck as he bent down to kiss my forehead.

  “I have to agree baby, nothing could have topped this. Well, maybe…” Anthony said as he suddenly let me go and told me to wait right there.

  I watched him as he jogged off to the other side of the parking lot then I looked back at Rah sitting in the passenger seat and shrugged. She shrugged back as she smiled and told me to wait on my man. That’s what I did too as I sat on my hood and let the night breeze take over me. The wind was so cool and gentle I closed my eyes and held my head back so that I could fully enjoy it. I saw my entire, fun filled day flash before my eyes as I sat there and when I opened my eyes back up Anthony was right there in my face.

  “AWW shit, you scared the fuck out of me Anthony.” I yelped as we laughed and Anthony pulled a beautiful black orchid, diamond necklace from behind his back.

  The moment I saw it I got chills and lost in my thoughts. I didn’t even hear anything he said until he stepped up between my legs.

  “So will you Kaniyah?” Anthony asked as I bat my eyes and looked at him.

  I was going to pretend like I had heard him and say yes, but I wasn’t sure what I would be agreeing to. That’s why I just let it be known that I hadn’t heard shit but was instead, in a world of my own.

  “Huh? What did you ask me Anthony? I’m sorry but I was in a world of my own.” I said as he laughed a little and asked what was on my mind.

  I shook my head and lied to him like I was just tired and he asked the question again.

  “Well, what I had asked you was… Will you be my woman?” Anthony said again as I continued to sit there and stare at the beautiful, expensive necklace in my hand.

  I admired it and ran my fingers across the jewels before I held it close to my heart then looked back up at him and answered.

  “Yes. Yes, I will Anthony.” I said as he grabbed me up in his arms and planted kisses all over my face.

  I felt like a rag doll as he spun me around in the air and said I had made him the happiest man on earth. When he sat me back down on solid ground I had a smile on my face but my eyes were still on that flower necklace. Anthony noticed that too so he quickly asked me what it was about.

  “I just haven’t really seen black orchids, except on my mama. My mom has a tattoo of a black orchid on her calve and this just made me think about it.” I said as I looked up at Anthony and for some reason his face looked flushed.

  Suddenly he seemed nervous as fuck as he jittered to get his phone out of his pocket.

  “Aw shit baby its late. I was supposed to return a business call an hour ago. I know you got school and a life too so don’t let me hold you up. Goodnight beautiful, I’ll call you later. If not tonight, I’ll call in the morning.” Anthony said before he kissed me gently then disappeared to his car.

  He left me standing there still in pucker mode as my heart raced and mind wondered. Rah had to beep the horn to get my fucking attention then I ran around to jump in the car.

  “That was weird bitch. What happened?” Rah asked once I had gotten in.

  I told her about the flower, what I said and how he reacted after that as she listened and sucked her teeth. Rah had no solutions or a reaction right off she just held out her hand for me to give her the necklace. I watched as she examined it in her hands then told me to turn around so that she could put it on. I did what she said but the entire time my mind kept going over everything. Seeing Anthony’s face like that after I mentioned my mom had thrown me off and made me wonder what it was all about.

  “Bitch you know what it is, niggas hate to hear about mama’s, especially an old nigga like that. He don’t wanna feel like he with no fucking mama’s girl. Like he gotta deal with you and Spicy too. I’m telling you now Na, leave yo mammy out of it or you’ll end up like me.” Rah said as I crunk up and sped off towards her house.

  I figured she was right as I thought about the situation and I decided I would do everything in my power to ensure that Spicy and Anthony’s paths never crossed. By the time I dropped Rah off I had shaken those ill thoughts out of my mind and was feeling good about my love affair with Anthony again.

  “And he asked me to be his woman Rah. I’m boo’ed up now.” I yelled to my best friend as she dragged her shit on to the porch and cheered.

  “Ayyeee she married now. You hear my best friend projects? She’s married now.” Rah said laughing imitating Sug Avery from The Color Purple as I laughed too and told her she was a fool.

  I was just about to roll my window up and prepare to pull off when she turned back around to look at me.

  “I’m going tomorrow morning Na Na, if you can come with me that would be great. Or at least come get me when it’s over.” Rah said as I told her I would even though I didn’t want her to go through with it.

  She told me it wasn’t my choice and I agreed before she told me that she loved me too. I watched her unlock her door and get in before I pulled off and headed to the hell hole I called home. When I pulled up in the parking lot it was a little after nine and I cursed myself for being so late.

  “Damn Unc said 7. Well, better late than never.” I said to myself as I got out, grabbed my bags, and went into the house.

  As soon as I stepped in I could see what KJ was talking about because it was clean and quiet as fuck. I walked past the kitchen to see chicken, mac-n-cheese, rolls, and veggies that Spicy had cooked. I had to close my eyes and open them again to believe what I was seeing.

  “Maybe he right.” I said to myself as I picked up a wing and ate it quickly with one hand.

  I finished my chicken and walked into the living room where I stopped dead in my tracks. There was Spicy laying on the couch with pajamas on and her hair tied up looking like a real mama. She was watching one of those cooking shows and was deep into it as I
walked by and spoke.

  “Hey Na Na.” She responded back and that shit took me off guard.

  Although her tone was flat and a little cold, it was an honor to hear her call me by my name. I was so used to bitch, hoe, wench, and black ass I thought she had forgotten it. I shook off my astonishment as I walked on through the house and noticed my brothers weren’t in their rooms. That was normal because they’re little asses were always out and into something, so I kept on to my room. As soon as I had gotten in there, closed my door and sat my bags down the door flew open and KJ walked in with my computer in one hand and his belt in the other like he was somebody’s daddy.

  “You finally home huh? Late as ever. Gone bend over so I can whoop that ass.” KJ said as I laughed and pretended to bend over until I saw him actually step up.

  “Boy please, just give me my pimping.” I said as I dodged the weak lick with the belt he threw and at the same time I snatched my computer out of his arms.

  I quickly sat down once I had my computer in hand and cut it on to see if it was okay. I went through dozens of book files and emails before I was satisfied that Jug had lied. He hadn’t erased my books or poured slush on it like he said that he would. I was grateful for small miracles as I kissed my computer like a baby. I had a real moment with my Mac book before I looked up to see my brother still standing there.

  “What, you want a tip nigga? Why you still standing there?” I asked KJ as I laughed and he did a fake laugh before he sat down.

  I knew right then he was on some serious shit so I sat my computer down and looked at him.

  “I just wonna know about this new nigga Na Na. You know I worry about you. You my only sister and I be damned if I don’t protect you. Now tell me about this nigga.” KJ said and I saw the love in his eyes.