Sufferance (The Chicago Defiance MC Series Book 4)

by KE Osborn

  Zane steps up to us, his cocky smile plastered on his face as he wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Neala, you’re looking beautiful today. Motherhood suits you. When are you gonna find a nice young prospect to knock you up?” he quips.

  I raise my brow. “Why? You offering?”

  Sparx laughs as he winks at me. “Hell, if you’re game princess, I’m all for it. Just leave my name off the birth certificate… keep it between us, okay? I kinda like my balls where they are.”

  “Oh, so you’re scared of my big brothers, too, are you?”

  “Ahh… have you met them, princess? Yeah, I’m scared of them. Plus, I kinda want my patch sometime this century.”

  Anger rolls through me, and I grunt as I shrug out of his grip. “Pffft, not you as well. What is it with you prospects and your damn patches?”

  He holds his hands up in surrender as his cocky smile falls. “Hey, don’t shoot me. I’m not the one you’re angry with. I’m your friend… remember?”

  Sparx stifles a laugh while shaking her head. “He wants something.” She continues to wrestle with Grace trying to get her to settle. It’s not working, the baby continues to cry.

  I narrow my eyes. “Yeah… you want something?”

  Zane pulls back faking a heart attack. “Me? Pretend to dishonor our friendship by coming in wanting something? I would never do such a dastardly thing.”

  “What do you want, Zane?” I laugh.

  He slumps his body with a sigh. “Well, for one, that baby to stop crying.” Sparx groans as she glares at Zane, so he grimaces looking at me. “But also, my sister’s having a room in her house renovated. Think you could take a look at the design for her?”

  My lips turn upward pulling him in for a side hug. “Of course. This is more a favor for me than it is for you. Thanks, Zane. I appreciate this.”

  He dips his head as Trax bounds outside. He checks out Sparx, who appears a little frazzled, and he leans in planting a kiss on her lips. I love how in love they are. Then he leans down kissing Grace on her head, then moves his hand out caressing the side of Rix’s face.

  “You okay?” he asks Sparx. She smiles with a nod as he runs his hand down the length of her arm. “Where’s Tremor? I have a job for him to do,” Trax asks. My stomach sinks. I’m pretty sure I have an idea where he is. I just don’t want to hear it.

  “He’s gone to see Chloe,” Zane murmurs keeping his eyes from me the entire time.

  I know my face is falling. I know I’m sinking in on myself. I’m trying not to, but I can’t help it. I know nothing about this Chloe girl other than the fact he goes to see her. He’s been nearly every other day for the last two months.

  Whoever she is, it must be serious.

  I can feel Trax’s eyes on me, probably Sparx’s too, but I can’t look up. I’m too busy trying to keep myself together.

  Trax grunts moving to my side as he shifts in to take a closer look at Rix. “Well, guess you’ll have to do then, Zane. C’mon, let’s leave these women to the kids, and we can go do the shit we need to.”

  I finally look up, Zane weakly grimaces at me like he’s apologizing with his facial features. He doesn’t need to.

  It’s not his fault Tremor’s an asshole.

  But Tremor isn’t an asshole.

  Not at all.

  He’s just trying to do what he thinks is right. I don’t think it’s right, but I can’t change his mind, so we’re stuck in limbo. I guess I can’t expect him not to spend time with other women.

  Women like Chloe.

  Whoever she is.

  I sigh as the curve on Trax’s lips lets me know he’s trying to be encouraging, but the faintness of the curve tells me it’s nothing more than sympathetic. He grabs Zane by the back of his shirt, yanking him away as they walk off, while I’m left with Sparx and the babies.

  She looks at me, exhaling. “Okay, so first things first, Grace is tired. Let’s get these babies down for a nap. Then let’s get you something heavy to drink.”

  I chuckle, turning to walk with her inside the clubhouse. A drink sounds like just the thing I need, indeed.

  Sass slams her hand down on the bar again calling for another round of shots. I have no idea how deep in we are. I know it’s late, but the girls must have sensed my mood because they’re all here. Sass, Sparx, and Foxy came in after work at the hospital, and Ruby’s behind the bar serving us while the brothers all watch on in the clubrooms.

  “Man, I’m going to pay for this in the morning,” Sparx whimpers as she slowly sips on her shot while the rest of us throw them back, miles ahead of her.

  Sass scoffs out an unladylike snort. “Slick, you’ve hardly drunk anything.”

  Sparx chuckles. “Umm… new mother and on meds… I have to watch how much I drink, guys. Lucky my babies are bottle fed, so I can actually drink.”

  Foxy pats her shoulder. “Yes, good girl, Sparx. Best not to drink too much on your meds, it can cause you issues.”

  Sparx has bipolar disorder. It’s common knowledge around here that drinking alcohol with her meds interferes with her moods.

  Everyone looks at Foxy as I raise my brow. “Wow, Debbie Downer there, Foxy.”

  “No. It’s fine. I know that. Plus, Grace is grumpy at the moment, and I love that Freckles is watching the twins right now, but I should be semi-sober. It’s why I’m so far behind you guys. But don’t worry, I’m still tipsy, and I shouldn’t be.” Sparx giggles.

  Sass throws back another shot ahead of us all then chuckles. “Well, soon Dad and I are heading over to Kentucky for the Auto Mechanical Skills Contest, so I need to keep my drinking skills up if I’m going to be around a group of over-the-top mechanics for the weekend while trying to outdo them at every turn.”

  I open my eyes wide, my lips turning up in excitement. “You’re entering the contest?”

  “Sure am. I’m the fastest and the best in our shop. When we got the invitation, everyone agreed I should be the one to represent.” She does some weird thing with her hands trying to look ‘gangsta’ making everyone laugh. “So Dad’s accompanying me while the others stay back at work.”

  “This is amazing, Sass! Why are you only just telling us now?” Foxy asks.

  She shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. I probably won’t even win anything.”

  I push her shoulder. “Shut up! You’re amazing at what you do…” I hesitate kind of confused. “So, what do you actually have to do?”

  She beams like she’s proud we’re taking an interest. “Well, I have to build an engine prior to going up there, and take it with me to enter the contest. That’s one part, but the main part is the quickfire round.”

  We all lean in closer. “Quickfire?”

  “Changing a tire on a car in the quickest amount of time possible. I’ll be up against three other workshops from all around the country, probably all men.”

  Ruby pours us some more drinks as we all scoff, “You’ll wipe the floor with them, Sass.”

  She picks up her now full shot glass throwing it back, letting out a long breath at the end. “I hope so.”

  We all follow suit taking our shots and drinking. I wince with the bitter liquid flowing down my throat but feel the buzz swarming around in my head so damn much.

  “Oh. My. God!” Foxy suddenly blurts out making us all look at her wondering what the hell is going on.

  “You okay?” I ask her.

  Her face brightens with enthusiasm, her dimples inverting as she beams. “I’ve just had the best fucking idea!”

  I chuckle as she leans forward looking directly at Sass. “We should come with you… to Kentucky, you know, for support.”

  “Yes,” all of us answer in unison before Sass can say anything.

  “I don’t just mean us girls, I mean the club. We haven’t gone on a group ride in so long. It would be great to do a fun run for once rather than going off to face something dangerous.” Foxy bounces up and down excitedly on her chair.

  “Yes! We should do this,” I
blurt out.

  Sass beams wide. “I love this idea, then Sensei can come with me.” She smiles. “Okay, I will take it to him when we’re done here.”

  “Yay,” Foxy chimes as she takes another drink then winks at me.

  Sass taps the bar again. “Right, let’s get to the bottom of why we’re really here then. Neala, tell ol’ Spanner what’s going on?”

  Everyone chuckles at Sass’s use of the name her workmates call her at the garage where she works as I slump in my seat. The alcohol hits me hard, my head spinning slightly in my inebriated state. “Urgh! Don’t even get me started.”

  Ruby wipes the counter as Cindi slides a glass of water my way. I turn up my lip at the H2O then turn to face Foxy. “My brother, the big idiot one—” I slur making everyone smirk.

  “Umm…. you have two of those,” Sparx interrupts.

  “Yes… true, but one is slightly more of an idiot than the other.”

  “Hmm… debatable,” Foxy queries looking at Sparx who laughs.

  “Yeah, I agree, Neala. I don’t think one out-idiots the other—”

  “You’re missing my point! Torque caused all this…” I wave my hands through the air like a mad woman as the girls all look at me, “… he made Tremor… not want me.”

  Everyone sighs as Foxy’s hand comes out resting on my shoulder for comfort as Sass does ‘Sass’ slapping the bar again.

  “Rubes, one last round, please,” Sass calls out as Ruby hands me the tequila shot. “Make it count, chickas,” Sass calls out.

  We all clink our glasses throwing them back as the door swings open. Tremor strides in looking as hot as sin after being gone since this afternoon. The liquid in my throat’s suddenly burning hot. I can’t seem to remember how to swallow as I watch him. Tremor’s shoulders are strong, his tight, black shirt on under his leather cut. A cigarette dangling from his slightly bearded mouth. His face has a softer appearance, not the harder edge that some of the other bikers here have. But his tattooed, muscular arms and the dark eyes give him a tougher edge that he needs to fit in here. His hair sweeps back in his usual shorter on the sides and a little longer on top. I love how he wears it like that. I just want to run my fingers through his hair—all the time.

  The thought reminds me I still have a mouthful of tequila, which is currently burning my tongue as I stare at him. My mouth’s on fire as he strides in further. I can’t hold in the tequila any longer, so instead of swallowing it like a sane person, I spit it out as the intense fire burns too goddamn hot. Tequila flies out all over the clubroom floor. Everyone turns to stare at me, including Tremor, as he stops, looking over at me, his forehead scrunching to take in my drunken state. He slumps as I stand from my stool, wobbling slightly, as Foxy grabs my arm to stabilize me.

  “Okay, you’re definitely staying here tonight, Neala,” Foxy warns, but my attention is focused solely on one person—on the one guy who started this little drinking binge. He’s been out all afternoon and night with Chloe while I’ve been here drowning my motherfucking sorrows.

  Well, fuck him, I say.

  “Fuck you,” I call out my inner thoughts as everyone stares at Tremor.

  Foxy grabs me in an attempt to make me sit down. “Neala, not here,” she murmurs.

  I push her off me as I stand taller glaring at him.

  His eyes dart around the room as he takes in everyone watching him watching me.

  He looks nervous.

  Good.

  “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

  He storms toward me as Foxy exhales standing up beside me. He steps right in front of me. God, he smells good. He looks even better.

  Tremor blows out a puff of smoke while putting his cigarette out in the ashtray on the bar, his arm sliding right past me.

  His skin brushes mine.

  He touches me. I tingle.

  I want to jump into his arms.

  I want to lean forward and kiss him.

  I could.

  He’s right here.

  But I’m angry right now, so I have to keep my temper in mind at this point.

  He pulls back looking at me sternly. “Come with me.”

  Sass and Sparx both smile wide as Foxy grimaces.

  “Do you think this is a good idea?” Foxy asks.

  I puff out my chest. “Yeah? Do you, huh?” I ask not really knowing why I’m agreeing with her.

  “Foxy, I respect you, I know you’re looking out for me… but Neala’s gonna cause a scene out here. I need to settle this behind closed doors. Get her to calm the fuck down.”

  “I am not going to cause a scene!” I yell.

  Foxy simply gestures toward the hall, then Tremor grabs my wrist yanking me along with him. “Hey! I am not your property, prospect. You let me go right now.”

  He drags me into the hall away from all his brothers, away from prying eyes. The hall is dark as he slams me against the wall with force. It’s probably not all that hard, but in my drunken state, I flop against it with a thud, my head smacking against the plasterboard as he moves in front of me. My anger turns into anxiety.

  He’s all I see.

  He’s swarming my vision.

  My dark prince invades my senses.

  But he’s not my prince—I’m merely the club princess who he doesn’t intend on saving.

  “Neala,” his voice is hoarse, it’s deep, and I love the way he says my name.

  “Don’t say my name like that,” I whimper.

  He moves in as I pant for breath, the tension popping and cracking between us. Chemistry’s never been our issue. Timing is. Timing, my brother, and that damned patch. So yeah, the odds are stacked against us. But as I stand here looking up at him, his brown eyes staring back at me, I can’t deny there’s something here. I know he can’t deny it either. I reach out, my hand moving to the side of his face. His bearded cheek prickling my palm as his breathing quickens at my touch.

  “Lala,” he murmurs even deeper.

  I exhale. “Don’t say it like that either,” I reply.

  He shrugs from my grip looking away from me. “You know this isn’t…” he pauses, my heart sinking onto the floor again.

  How many times do we have to do this?

  My chest aches, hurt by his rejection once more. The tequila buzz is swarming my brain. So I decide to take a stand. “How was Chloe?”

  His head snaps to face me with a hard glare. “What do you know about her?”

  My lip curls as I exhale. “You go to see her as often as fucking possible. Whoever she is, she must be… important to you.”

  He rolls his shoulders looking uncomfortable as he turns back to me thrusting his hands either side of my head, his face right in front of mine. We’re so close I can smell the hint of tobacco on his clothes. I inwardly shudder at his sudden dominant stature as he glares at me.

  “You know nothing about my relationship with Chloe. It’s certainly none of your goddamned business.”

  He’s protective of her.

  He has feelings for her.

  Wow.

  I didn’t see that coming.

  My chest aches as I feel the tears welling in my eyes. I don’t want him to see me cry, so I duck down from between his arms, rushing off down the hall toward my designated room.

  “Neala,” he calls out as I stumble down the hall. “We’re not done here!”

  I know I’m not in my right mind as I try to make my way down to the very end. My stomach is churning, and I tense up throwing my hands in the air. “Oh, we’re so done!” I call back.

  Knowing he has feelings for Chloe has thrown me. I guess I was holding onto any shred of hope. But now I know there really is nothing left to cling to.

  I need to let him go.

  As I get to my door, I open it, turning to look down the hall and notice Tremor watching my every move. A stern look crosses his gorgeous face. My bottom lip quivers while I quickly shut the door before he has any other crazy effect on me. I need sleep before my eldest brother catche
s on to what’s gone down tonight, which will only see Tremor, or me, getting in the shit.

  Fuck my life!

  TREMOR

  Watching Lala scurry off, seeing her drunk and knowing I can’t be the one to help her through the night fucking irks me. But I guess it’s not my job. It was my doing, and I need to remember why I’m causing this issue between us.

  I don’t like it. Hell, I fucking loathe it. All I want is to go back to before Torque walked in on us in her room that night. Back to before we were caught together, and we were still a secret. We could have found a way to work at this, to build on our relationship. I could have gone to Torque, spoken with him about being with his sister. But instead, he walked in finding me in Neala’s bed before I had the chance to speak with him.

  Torque was out that night, Neala was still reeling from the Andrettis trying to abduct her from Club Modesty. Lucky Scratch and I were there to thwart off the attack, though my stomach wasn’t as lucky in the process. The stab wound I received was only minimal, but it was enough to have Neala fussing over me. Not that I minded the attention from her. We were in a good place then, keeping our affair secret from everyone. We were only just beginning, kissing and fooling around. We hadn’t gone as far as fucking.

  I was still recovering from the stab wound, and Torque was out at Foxy’s. Neala asked me to sleep in her room seeing as she was staying at the clubhouse. I couldn’t refuse her. But seeing as I had a hole in my gut, we weren’t fucking, merely just being together. Lucky, though, because when Torque came storming in the next morning without notice to see me in his little sister’s bed—yeah, we were all shocked.

  We’d hidden our relationship well, but now it was out. I wanted to talk to my president and tell him I cared for Neala. I wanted to do right by her, but before I could, he said, and I quote, “If you don’t leave, don’t expect to be gaining a patch, brother.”

  I knew then I had a choice to make. My club, the brotherhood I longed for, the family I belong to—or the girl.