Shadowboxer

by Cari Quinn

  She could dish with the best of ’em. As for taking, forget it.

  “Moving on.” I gestured. “The next room over is the formal dining room. Since I don’t entertain, the layer of dust on the table is thick enough to write messages in. I do that sometimes when I get bored. Then there’s—”

  “Who do you write them to? The messages, I mean.”

  “Myself mostly.” I shrugged and guzzled more beer. I’d need another soon. “That’s where I keep my grocery list.”

  “Salami?”

  “And eggs. And bacon. And beer.” My mouth tipped up and I saluted her with my bottle. “God’s trifecta of goodness.”

  “Some training diet.”

  “You’d be surprised, but there’s more to my life than what happens in the cage.”

  “So it’s true.” She nodded like an all-knowing Yoda. “You’re getting ready to hang it up.”

  “You shouldn’t listen to rumors. You can get nasty diseases that way.”

  A hollow expression overtook her face. She turned into a ghost, right in front of me. Just like what had happened outside, when she’d announced she wasn’t a virgin. Looking into the tunnels of her eyes physically hurt. I would’ve sworn they had no bottom. They’d become just endless, empty holes.

  “What do you do in the living room?” Her voice seemed to echo.

  I didn’t know what I’d done now to screw up her equilibrium, but I wanted it back. Though it cost me, I struggled to sound relaxed. “Sleep on the couch. Read the funny papers. Watch the big screen.”

  “Game tape?”

  Admitting it would mean I’d take more shit, but I couldn’t lie to her. “No.”

  She nodded, as if she’d already known the answer. “Football?”

  “No.”

  “Then?”

  “Talk shows.” For once I was glad to see her sneer. The ghost had disappeared…for now. “The really trashy kind, where they do paternity tests every day and throw chairs and all that.”

  She shook her head like I was a dimwitted kid who’d landed on his skull for the tenth time. “Don’t you get enough of that at the gym?”

  “I’ve never had anyone perform a paternity test on me at the gym.”

  “How about outside of it?”

  I couldn’t help moving closer, so my hips swayed against hers and our bottles clinked. “Is that your way of asking how many women I’ve had in my bedroom?” I brushed my lips over her cheek and smiled at her ragged inhale. She couldn’t deny I affected her, as much as she wanted to. “Or bathroom?”

  “Irrelevant information.”

  I tugged down the zipper on the leather jacket, the sound surprisingly harsh in the stillness. Her breath picked up and her gaze shot to mine. She didn’t look frightened from my nearness yet, but judging from recent events, it was only a matter of time.

  And that made me back up and take another slug of my drink. “Still want that bath?” I asked as mildly as possible considering the growing situation in my jeans.

  What was it about her? I’d had more control at thirteen than I did in her presence.

  She shrugged and finished her beer in uneven gulps. “Yeah.” She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. “It’ll have to be quick though. I have to be at the gym at eight tomorrow.”

  “And I have work.” I took her empty bottle and set it next to mine on the counter. “We’ll manage.”

  I led the way down the hall to the bathroom. Mice seemed loud and disruptive in comparison to Mia, so I couldn’t tell if she was actually behind me and I wasn’t about to look. Once I reached the bathroom, I flipped on the light, then pulled my hoodie over my head and tossed it aside. My throw went wide and the sweatshirt nearly landed in the tub.

  Nervous? Who, me? Never. I was suave and sophisticated—at least until I glimpsed Mia’s face in the glass. Any practiced moves I had fell away with one glance into her fathomless eyes. As her tongue slicked over her cracked lower lip, I had to brace my fist on the counter to keep from putting a restraining hand on my cock.

  She was devouring me like she’d never seen a man’s torso before. And I was still wearing my T-shirt.

  I swallowed and reached for the hem. “Can I?”

  She shrugged. “Sure. You can’t bathe in your clothes.”

  That was up for debate. I didn’t want her to be afraid. If that meant sitting in a tub with my jeans on, I’d do it.

  What I’d do for this girl was already starting to scare the hell out of me.

  I yanked off my shirt and let it fly before turning to her and resting my hands on the counter behind me, as casual could be. Her gaze drank me in, flitting from my shoulders to my pecs to my torso. Lingering on the trail of hair from my navel downward, hidden by the jeans I’d only unbuttoned in the kitchen.

  “You don’t shave your chest?”

  “No. I’m a fucking guy. Not some Ken doll impersonator.” I glanced down. “Not that I have much chest hair to speak of.”

  “You have enough.” She stepped forward and pursed her lips, her gaze still firmly below my neck. “You have a lot of scars too.”

  “Does that surprise you?”

  “A little. You win so much.”

  Smiling was harder than I expected as I drew my finger down her cheek. The softness of her skin always astounded me. Somehow I expected it to crackle like the barrier that guarded her heart. “A win’s only as good as the battle scars you earn during the fight, baby.”

  “I’ve watched some of your matches, but I couldn’t ever make out your tats.” She traced her fingertips over the Japanese symbols that stretched across my abdomen. “What does it say?”

  “Loosely translated, it means the samurai is the best man in the world, and the cherry blossom is the best flower.” When she stepped back suddenly, I felt the need to explain. “I went to Washington on a class trip in high school when all the cherry blossoms were in bloom. I had a thing for this chick, and I don’t know, I guess I was—” I broke off as she unzipped her jeans and shoved them over her hips. “Uh, okay. Suppose we’re done talking then.”

  She pushed the denim down and stuck out her right hip. “Look.”

  I looked. Hell, I couldn’t stop looking. The pale pink and brown tattoo on her thigh carved its way into my brain so deeply that I’d never forget it.

  My fingers curled around the cool granite countertop that didn’t have anything on my erection. One glance at her smooth thigh and I probably could’ve broken out the window with the damn thing. “Fucking cherry blossoms.”

  “They were my mom’s favorite,” she said, her tone too wistful to miss even for a guy with a crowbar for a dick.

  “Were?”

  “She died when I was eleven. Brain aneurysm.” She started to tug up her jeans.

  I stopped her with a hand on her wrist. “Wait. I saw a dirty spot.” I lifted my thumb to my mouth and wet it, then pressed it in a widening circle high on her inner thigh. “Oops. Must’ve been a freckle.”

  “What am I doing here with you, Tray?”

  There it was again, my Kryptonite. My name said in her raspy voice made up for all kinds of sins, including the ones she’d committed deliberately to hurt me.

  How she could hurt me so soon was a question I didn’t care to answer.

  I stepped closer and enfolded my hands over hers on her waistband. As tall as she was for a woman, she had a small frame. But she could deliver a punch. In her case, delicacy and strength came in an incredible package.

  “Right now, I’m about to give you a bath and a massage.” I kept my expression cool and clear of any emotion. If I gave her even the slightest hint of the storm brewing inside me, she’d run so fast I’d choke on the fumes. “I don’t have to get undressed. This is about you.”

  She hesitated for a minute. Two. Then she threw back her shoulders and let the jeans fall to her feet. She stepped out of them and tossed them carelessly on the back of the toilet. Naked from the waist down, she didn’t pause for my perusal. She yanked
off her work shirt and her plain cotton black bra with the economy of movement most fighters possessed.

  Most fighters, however, didn’t have breasts like those.

  Small and pale, they were capped with pink nipples that hardened under my stare. They made her seem vulnerable, especially in contrast with the sharp definition in her arms, torso, and thighs.

  Shell pink nipples. Christ.

  With the darkness of her hair and eyes, I hadn’t expected pink. I definitely hadn’t expected the rosy flush between her legs that I’d put there, partially hidden by the smattering of dark, wispy curls. I’d been rough with her, and judging from the state of her body already, I deserved to be shot.

  She was bruised in too many places. Her body was a tapestry of fading wounds and scars, yet she also had patches of smooth, unblemished skin without even a freckle to mar the perfection.

  I’d thought her broken when I saw her face the first time, and now all I could see was the strength forged from those cracks and breaks.

  “Turn around,” I said gruffly, incapable of hiding my reaction.

  It wasn’t just desire. That was manageable. She impressed the holy fuck out of me. I barely knew her, and I already admired her more than anyone else I’d ever met. I wanted to bow down at her feet, and she wanted me to get in a ring and hurt her.

  And then she expected me to walk away.

  She did as I asked. Her hair slicked down her spine in a straight shot, lacking any curl whatsoever. It skimmed the small of her back, drawing my attention to her heart-shaped ass. Also small. Also perfect.

  Her vulnerability to me at that moment stole my breath. Seeing all the undamaged parts of her reminded me how easily I could bring her pain.

  How easily I already had.

  The thickness of her hair didn’t hide the abrasions on her back caused by a brick wall and a thoughtless jerk who’d only cared about his own orgasm. I’d have to try to make up for my mistake now.

  Swallowing hard, I opened the cupboard beneath the sink and rutted around until I found what I was looking for. I held up the purple bottle with a grim smile. “Bubbles?”

  Tentatively, she reached for the bottle, her eyes narrowed. “Grape-scented?” She popped the cap and sniffed. “You take bubble baths?”

  I snorted out a laugh. “Hardly. My mom gave me that crap when I moved in.”

  She smiled so quickly I wondered if I’d imagined it. “Moms do stuff like that.”

  My throat closed around the questions I wanted to ask. What had her mom been like? What had made Mia like this? Who had tried to break her, and how had she found the courage to keep swinging?

  And most of all, where could I get even an ounce of her strength?

  I was afraid of the answers. Not for me, for her. I was scared of what I would do if I heard the name of the person—people—who had created this robotic fighter out of the beautiful woman beneath. I feared the lengths I would go to eradicate the individuals responsible. Harming them wouldn’t be enough.

  I wanted to make them bleed.

  She moved past me to start the bath. The tub was big enough for two people and had a bunch of jets. The glassed-in shower stall in the corner got a lot more action. In fact, I’d used the tub exactly twice since I’d moved in a year ago. Once I’d been so sore after a fight I filled it with ice and marinated like a day-old steak. Another time I’d been feeling self-important and had gotten drunk off my ass on fancy champagne while I phone-sexed some chick. She’d talked me through an orgasm and I hadn’t even touched my dick.

  Guys could fake ’em too. At least on the phone.

  I didn’t invite women to my apartment. I went to theirs or we went to hotels. There had been a few memorable encounters in the back hallway of the gym and at a club. A few other random places too. But never here. I liked my privacy, and I didn’t bring ring groupies home.

  Mia was…Mia.

  She struggled to get the temperature right and I leaned over to help her. That put me in direct proximity with the side of her breast, which I paid no mind to. All right, little mind. Indestructo erection was still knocking on heaven’s door in my pants. Her ass jiggling as she squirted bubble bath into the water didn’t help.

  She capped the bottle after using the recommended amount of suds and handed it back, but I wasn’t about to let her skimp. I hoisted the bottle high and squeezed.

  When she was with me, I’d give her everything I had. My jacket, orgasms, extra bubbles.

  “I think you’re using too much.”

  “Says who?” I tossed the empty bottle over my shoulder and motioned for her to get into the warm, frothy water. It was starting to get a little sudsy, but that was good, right?

  “I hope you have a nice super,” she muttered.

  I wouldn’t call him nice, but I wasn’t real afraid I’d get kicked out for bathroom mishaps. Being related to the owner of the building was a handy perk.

  Mia sank into the bubbles and moaned, so loud I had to press my wrist against my zipper. Luckily, she didn’t notice. She dropped down into the thickening suds until they covered her chin, then let her head fall back until her hair slipped into the water. Her lids lowered, her dark lashes fanning over her cheeks.

  She didn’t say anything, just floated while bubbles accumulated at an alarming rate and the jets stirred them up. Her cheeks flushed and she actually smiled, her lips curving like a rainbow hesitantly arching across the sky after a rainstorm.

  Slowly, she opened her eyes. “Aren’t you going to join me?”

  No. I wasn’t. I wanted to, God knew, but she needed all the room in the tub. And I needed to be outside it, with enough distance that I couldn’t feel every inch of her skin against mine. I would never smell grape again without thinking of her like this and knowing I’d been the one to give her that small pleasure.

  Now I would give her more.

  “Think I can wash you better like this.” I knelt at her side and dragged my hand through the water. My eyes widened. “Shit, that’s hot.”

  “I know.” Her dreamy smile spread. “I like it that way.”

  Her smile faltered as I picked up the soap and rubbed it between my hands. “You’ll like this too.” I hoped.

  She scrambled upward, her heels sliding on the bottom of the tub. “It’s okay, I can wash myself.”

  More than anything, I hated the fear that flashed through her expression. I could handle fury or indifference or anything else she tossed my way. But not that.

  “If you want me to stop, I will. I promise. It’s all up to you.” I kept my gaze on her face until she looked at me, the shadows in her eyes engulfing the momentary light. “Trust me, Mia.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Mia

  I gripped the side of the tub and hoped I looked less panicked than I felt. If he’d been undressed, if I’d been on my knees instead, I wouldn’t have been as nervous. But the intent gleam in his sea-blue eyes scared the hell out of me.

  He’d take things from me, things I couldn’t get back. I wanted him to.

  Wordlessly, I nodded. I didn’t trust myself to answer.

  His hand disappeared under the bubbles—they seemed to be multiplying really fast—and re-emerged on my foot. He rubbed the bar of soap along the top and the arch, using his other hand to raise my ankle. His fingers looked dark against my calf and the calluses on his fingers rubbed like sandpaper over my warmed skin. I couldn’t hold back a moan.

  He glanced over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth lifting. He didn’t speak, just kept scrubbing my feet and legs.

  The water rose right along with the amount of bubbles. He still didn’t stop. Several times I opened my mouth to warn him that we were going to flood, then he’d hit some new spot and I’d forget everything but his caresses.

  No one had ever touched me like he did. His hands were huge and capable of brutality. Truly lethal weapons. Yet he stroked me like I was so delicate he couldn’t exert more than the most minute amount of pressure or I would vanish.
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  For the first time in too many years to count, I felt…feminine. Even sexy.

  Then he parted my thighs and the warmth inside me evaporated.

  “Shh,” he whispered, reading me though I hadn’t said a word. His soapy hand crept higher, traveling over my torso. Avoiding entirely the area he’d nearly touched.

  Gratitude surged through me as he rubbed the bar of soap between my shoulder blades and leaned in to kiss my shoulder. I relaxed from the softness of his mouth despite the sharp teeth ripping through my stomach.

  This close, he could see too much of me. Not just my body, but into my eyes. Into what was left of my soul. The amount of light in the bathroom made me feel exposed. I didn’t want him to know I was broken beyond repair. That he was wasting his time.

  He massaged my back, just as he’d promised. His agile fingers dug into muscles that had been sore so long I couldn’t remember ever being pain-free. He splashed water all over his jeans as he crawled around me, but he laughed instead of getting irritated. Eventually I laughed too.

  Then he would stop and stare at me, and I’d shift away like a coward because I wanted to kiss his smile and I didn’t have enough courage.

  The next time he parted my thighs, I was long past stopping him. He’d just finished soaping my breasts and he’d looked at them like I was the hottest woman he’d ever seen. I was a fighter, not one of the curvaceous babes he was used to seeing naked. But when his eyes glazed with blatant desire, I couldn’t fight my body’s reaction.

  I wanted him. Even more than I had before. Now that I knew the thrill of having him inside me, I craved the sensation. Except this time I wanted it even harder. He’d been holding back before, and he didn’t need to with me. I found freedom in pain.

  Somehow I found freedom in him.

  His wet fingers slid over the flesh between my legs, drawing patterns that added to the growing tension in my lower belly. God, it felt good. Already I had a much better grasp of what awaited me than a few hours ago. Instead of shying away, I lurched toward what he could give.

  He slipped inside me, his fingers sliding slowly in and out, his thumb circling my clit. I bit my lip as my hips lifted to meet him. Water sloshed over the side of the tub, bubbles flying, and neither of us moved to clean up. I couldn’t get enough of the heat he’d created inside me so I chased it, lost in its pursuit, totally forgetting that he made me nervous, that the way I was acting was so not like me, that I was too afraid to kiss him.