by Kyra Lennon
“I love you,” Radleigh whispered into my neck as he slowly pushed himself into me.
I felt his words the way I felt his touch, his kisses. They fluttered across my skin then burrowed deep inside me, filling me with warmth, connecting me to him again. “I love you too.”
This was so much better than the last time. So much better than anything I’d experienced with anyone else. Nobody had ever reached me the way he did. We were physically and emotionally aligned, and as we moved together, he took me to that place where stars burst in front of my eyes and the blood in my veins fizzed and tingled in ecstasy until all we could do was lie together and catch our breath.
I ran my fingers through his hair as he lay beside me, his arms wrapped tightly around me, keeping me close.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, quietly. So quietly I almost didn’t hear him.
“I missed you too, baby.”
“I don’t just mean this. Though, I missed this a lot too. I missed being around you. Being here, even when we’re not really doing anything. I love that I can just be me when I’m with you. I’ve always loved that.”
I smiled. “You said you were going to save this for the wedding.”
“I am. Most of it. But I just wanted you to know that part right now.”
Kissing him lightly on the lips, I said, “I feel the same. Always have. Always will.”
Chapter Six – Dove Feathers and White Tiger Fur
The following weeks were spent catching up on the wedding preparation that had been put on hold while I wasn’t sure there would still be a wedding. That meant final decisions on bridesmaids’ dresses, and countless phone calls to the UK to get measurements, and to get opinions on colours, styles and materials. Radleigh and I also had to sort out the food choices for the guests. I’d left Bree in charge of organising the flowers and decorations for the wedding and the reception. We were getting married at our own house, and we’d hired the mother of all wedding marquees for the event – or “party tents”, as they’re known in the U.S. The cost involved was insane, because it included staff to erect it, decorate it, and then re-arrange it for the evening. They had to do this seamlessly, without disturbing the guests. The main reason we’d opted to get married at home was to stop nosy journalists getting a peek at our wedding. We didn’t want to sell our photos to magazines, and we didn’t want any candid shots of me leaving for the wedding, or being followed to a venue. It was much less hassle to organise everything in our gigantic garden, and keep it under a marquee, just in case there were any totally crazy news stations who attempted to take aerial shots. We’d hired extra security to be there to keep journalists from harassing our guests as they arrived, and to keep them from taking pictures of the wedding party, since Radleigh would be getting ready elsewhere. The whole day was like a military operation, but it was a small price to pay to get some privacy on our wedding day.
It was mid-July when things started to get crazy again. I still didn’t have my wedding dress sorted out on the day of my hen/bachelorette party. The plan for the party originally had been for us to check into a hotel early afternoon, grab ourselves some spa treatments, eat a posh dinner, then get dressed up for a night on the town, spending the night in the hotel afterwards. However, since I didn’t have my dress yet, my friends took over and told me we were cancelling the spa treatments and going shopping instead.
On the morning of the party, a little before I was due to leave, I staggered downstairs carrying a small suitcase. Honestly, with everything I had to take with me for the night out, I could easily have filled a few more, but Radleigh had laughed at me as I packed up the small one. He’d have had a fit if I’d taken something bigger just for one night. The thing was, it wasn’t just my clothes. It was the additions to our ridiculous outfits, plus make-up and hair products that took up the space.
“Are you sure you’re just going for one night?” Bryce laughed as I leaned my case against the wall at the foot of the stairs.
As it happened, the boys were having their stag/bachelor party the same night. The reason we were doing this so far before the wedding was because it was a freak weekend when there were no matches until Wednesday, and since we’d been so careful with our planning, Richard had given the team an extra day off so we could enjoy our celebrations properly. Cody Rivera was flying in for the night, and most of the team would be crashing at my house.
The mess in the morning didn’t bear thinking about.
I sighed. “I swear to God, Bryce, it’s not possible for a girl to travel light.”
Shaking his head, he continued to laugh at me. “I don’t get it. A guy can take the smallest bag and be set for a whole weekend.”
“Guys don’t have to make their faces look pretty, or carry around a salon’s worth of hair crap to look good.”
“You don’t need all that either,” he said. “Besides, I bet Bree will bring her truckload of make-up anyway.”
He had a point, but there was no way I was unpacking again now. As I frowned in the direction of my suitcase, Bryce said, “You look real stressed for someone who’s having a bachelorette party tonight.”
I looked up at him with a grimace. “That’s not the part that’s stressing me. It’s the wedding dress part.”
“Ah. You have to cast away the ghost of the one you had to get rid of.”
“Yeah.” The thought of my delicate, and now blue, wedding dress made me sigh. “Can’t even get a duplicate now since Radleigh has already seen it. I need to start over, and… what if I can’t find one I love as much?”
“You will. I’ve never known you to go shopping and not come back with something you love.”
A smile broke through my concerned frown. “That’s true. And, not that there’s any chance of a repeat, but just to be sure, Freya is taking my wedding dress this time.”
“Good call. But Jen’s back in town, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah. She’s left Harley at home with James and she’s here with Jayden for a couple of weeks.”
“Radleigh said there might be a chance of her and James working things out.”
Jen had come over to the house the day she arrived, and told us she and James had been talking about getting back together. They were going to marriage counselling, and hoping to work through their issues. As far as I could see, Jen was the only one with an issue, and that issue was keeping her knickers on. But what the hell did I know? Maybe James was an asshole who didn’t pay her any attention. That wasn’t the impression I’d gotten from everything I’d heard, but it wasn’t my relationship to judge.
“Is it wrong that I don’t trust her?” I asked.
Bryce shook his head. “I think it’s wise. I don’t think there is anything she can do to you and Radleigh now, but I still wouldn’t relax just yet.”
“Radleigh thinks her getting back with James is for the best. It would save a lot of hassle for everyone if she settled down again.”
“Maybe. Or maybe it won’t make any difference.” I drew my eyebrows together in confusion and Bryce continued. “The trouble she’s caused had very little to do with her wanting Radleigh back. It had to do with her getting her way and moving here with the kids. Getting Radleigh back would have been a temporary bonus at best. She doesn’t want him, she just hates seeing other people happy. If she’s thinking about being with James again, maybe that’s only because it’s her only option now. She doesn’t want a custody battle on her hands. She wants what’s easy and what will benefit her.”
In all honesty, I knew he was right. But what a sad way to live. Moving towards whatever would serve her best. Not even what was best for her children. I could maybe understand her desperation if she was trying to make sure they had the best life, but even then, I wasn’t sure that was how it worked. One thing I’d learned over the last few weeks was that happy parents led to happy kids. Jessica had been unsettled and restless a lot of the time when Radleigh had moved out, because I was unsettled and restless. When he came home, after a fe
w days normality came with him, and since then Jessica had been back to her usual self. Jen didn’t seem to be looking for happiness, though. She sought out quick fixes in the form of shopping and casual sex, and as an added joy in her otherwise lame existence, she tried to find ways to tear others down.
“Whatever she decides, I just hope she can do it without causing any more trouble for us.”
“Radleigh won’t let her get near you again.”
“I know.”
Radleigh strolled into the hallway, carrying Jessica. Her t-shirt was smeared with what looked like mushed up biscuit. He grinned. “She wanted a snack.”
Smiling, I rolled my eyes. “Get her changed before you take her to your mom’s. Everything she needs is packed and the bag is in our room.”
“I will. Are you ready to go?”
I nodded. “Just about.” I glanced down at my case again. “It’s a good thing I have a big car. I’m picking everyone up, and everyone but Kayla will have at least one bag. Bree will probably have four.”
Much to her displeasure, Kayla couldn’t come to the party later as she was too young, but I wanted her to come along for the shopping part of the day, and she’d been thrilled I’d included her. I just wished Chrissie and my mum could have been there too. I’d invited Deanna, and she too was delighted I valued her opinion, but she said this was a day for me and my friends, and that she’d be more use as a babysitter.
Radleigh stepped towards me and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Remember what I said. You can have whatever you want, okay? Don’t do that thing you do where you freak out over the price of something.”
I laughed. “I can’t promise that.” I loved the luxury of living with Radleigh, but deeply ingrained in my head was the memory of my childhood, when money wasn’t easy to come by. Although we were far from poor, we’d still had to be careful. Radleigh had managed to get me to loosen up a little, but the cost of some of the things in our house still made me balk sometimes.
“I’m serious. It was partly my fault the first one was ruined, so whatever it costs… it doesn’t matter.”
I wrapped my arms around him. “Thank you.”
With a knowing grin, he said, “You’re still going to be careful, aren’t you?”
“Yup.”
Kissing the top of my head, he said, “Get out of here.”
I laughed again and hugged him, then reached up to kiss him. “Have fun tonight.” I turned my head towards Bryce. “Make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.”
Bryce saluted. “Yes, ma’am.”
As I turned back to Radleigh, he kissed me again and I took Jessica from him to give her a hug. “And you, Little Miss, be good for Nanna and Grandpa.”
It took a little while to untangle myself from Jessica and Radleigh, but I finally got away and started to make my away around to my friends’ houses to pick them up. The first stop was Kayla’s to pick up her and Izzy. Izzy would be staying for a few weeks which was brilliant because it meant I had one less dress disaster to worry about since she could try hers on during her stay. I still had to hope Chrissie and Grace’s measurements were correct as they weren’t flying in until a week before the wedding, but that was something to stress over later. Next I picked up Freya, and finally, Bree.
The girls were buzzing as we walked into the bridal shop, but I still felt a little subdued. We were greeted by a lady of around forty in perfectly pressed grey trousers and a white blouse. Her hair was pinned back in the most complex up-do I’d ever seen, and her face was flawless.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” she said, stepping forward. “I’m Teresa, and I’m here to help you with anything you need today.” Her eyes found mine and she smiled. “You must be the bride.”
“What gave me away?”
“The bride is always the one who looks like she’s going to throw up.”
Behind me, I heard sniggers coming from my friends. Teresa’s words put me at ease and I laughed too. “Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll make this painless for you. Starting with…” Teresa turned and looked over her shoulder, and right on cue, a young woman with perfectly straight black hair walked towards us carrying a tray which held four glasses of champagne.
“Oh, hell yes,” Bree said, grinning.
“No fair.” Kayla pouted, making us all laugh.
“It’s a long time ‘til twenty-one.” Freya gave Kayla a quick hug before taking a glass from the tray.
“I should have thought this through,” I said. “I’m driving.”
Freya’s eyes widened in horror and she handed me her glass. “You drink. I’ll drive.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. You need this more than I do!”
With a grateful smile, I took a sip. God dammit, it tasted good. Having the money to shop in places like that definitely had its up sides.
Bree and Izzy took a glass each, and Teresa began asking me questions about what I was looking for. I explained my situation, and described the style of dress I wanted. After we’d finished our first glasses of champagne, the great wedding dress hunt began again.
Within twenty minutes, any champagne-induced enthusiasm I’d built up had slipped away. The dresses I looked at were beautiful, but they weren’t for me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t let go of what I’d had. Even so, I tried on six dresses I thought might work, but none of them had that magic spark, and my girls showed little enthusiasm for any of them.
“You guys, this is impossible! The dress I had was the one. As gorgeous as all these dresses are, I don’t think there’s another one that will be as perfect.”
Freya gave me an understanding smile. “Babe, this place is huge. You’ll find something.”
“But it won’t be right.” I sighed, suddenly understanding how Bridezillas were born. So far through the wedding planning process, I’d stayed calm. I hadn’t stressed over the little things, and I hadn’t panicked that we’d left some things until really late. But my dress? There were only two months left until the wedding. Actually, seven weeks.
Shit. Seven weeks?
I turned to Freya, totally panic-stricken. “Freya, I’m on a clock here. If I find something today, alterations might need to be made and that won’t happen overnight. And if I don’t find something today? I’m going to have to spend all of my time searching every freaking dress shop in this city and beyond until I do find something.”
Before I could break down and cry in the middle of the store, Bree swept over and handed me another glass of champagne, which I chugged down as if it were water.
“Take it easy,” Bree said, placing her hands on my shoulders. “We’ve got this. We’re all here for you and we’re going to help you find the best wedding dress ever. If it takes a little longer, that’s okay. Seven weeks is forever. I’ll take time off work if I need to. But we will find it, Leah. I promise.”
Taking some deep breaths, I nodded. “Okay. Okay.”
Izzy and Kayla walked over to us after carefully examining the dress I’d just tried on. I got the impression Izzy had fallen in love with it and was already planning on making a note of it for future reference.
“You could always just replace the one you had,” Teresa suggested. “Get an exact replica.”
I shook my head. “The groom has already seen it. And I’m not usually superstitious but we’ve had enough bad luck. I don’t want to tempt anymore.”
“I think you’re looking at this all wrong,” Bree said. “You’re trying to recapture what you had, but you can’t. So why not try something different? Something totally away from the ideas you had when you first looked. Also, Radleigh will probably be expecting something similar, so why not blow his mind? Go for something unexpected.”
I shifted my eyes towards her. “I’m not Lady Gaga. I’m not walking down the aisle in a dress made of dove feathers and white tiger fur.”
A chorus of laughs echoed around the room, and Bree said, “I don’t
mean that kind of unexpected. I mean, why not try on something less lacy, or with a fuller skirt? Just something you hadn’t considered before.”
“I’m too short.” I turned and looked in the mirror, pouting at my reflection. “If I wear a big puffy dress, I’ll look ridiculous.”
“It doesn’t have to be too big,” Teresa said, thoughtfully. “In fact… wait there.”
She scurried away with a smile on her face, but I was way too disillusioned to get excited.
“I never knew wedding dress shopping could be so hard,” Kayla said, staring at the mass of gowns surrounding us. “They’re all gorgeous. I’d be happy with any of them.”
Bree smiled at her. “It feels a lot different when you’re picking one for yourself. It’s the most important dress you’ll ever buy. The one you wear when you walk down the aisle towards the man you love, ready to spend the rest of your life with him.”
Izzy let out a dreamy sigh, letting me know for sure she was picturing her own wedding day. She would make a stunning bride. She had the cutest face and amazing cheekbones. Like me, she was short, but curvy. She and Jesse would, one day, make beautiful children together.
“Miguel asked me to marry him.”
Slowly, the four of us turned to face Freya, where she stood biting her lip nervously.
“Sorry… did you say Miguel asked you to marry him?” Bree said.
Freya nodded. “It wasn’t like a real proposal, it was more like… I guess he just wanted to know where I stand on the whole getting married thing.” Her cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that, it just… happened.”
