The Amen Trail

by Sharon Sala

  “I’m gonna die,” she said, and then gagged again.

  Eulis sighed. Poor Letty. Once when he was a kid, he’d suffered a similar fate and he knew from experience that nothing but time was going to cure what ailed her.

  “No. You ain’t gonna die,” he said. “You might want to, but it ain’t gonna happen tonight.”

  She bent down and sloshed her face through the water, then raised up again.

  “I am. I am going to die. Something got me. Something bad. I’m blind and my guts are coming out my mouth and nose.”

  Eulis shifted nervously and took a couple more steps back. He was upwind from her and it was still not far enough away to escape that putrid stench.

  “You ain’t blind, Letty.”

  “I am so,” she said, and then started to cry.

  Eulis sighed. “Don’t cry. Please, Letty, don’t cry. You know how I hate to see a woman cry.”

  “Just shoot me now and put me out of my misery,” she begged, then dipped her face in the water again to relieve some of the pain.

  “I can’t,” Eulis said.

  Letty slapped the water with a fist and then pushed herself upright. Her hair was plastered to her scalp. Her dress was saturated clear to her skin and near to weighing her down as she swayed where she stood.

  “Damn it to hell, Eulis Potter. I’m begging you to shoot me to put me out of my misery. After all I’ve done for you, are you too big of a coward to grant the only thing I’ve ever asked of you?”

  Eulis frowned. “You’re a fine one to call a man a coward, and it’s damn sure not the first thing you ever asked me to do and you know it. I’m not the one who went and killed the preacher, but I am the man who helped hide his body and kept you from gettin’ hanged. I’ve waited on you hand and foot at the White Dove Saloon every night for the past twelve years, and you’ve still got the guts to stand there stinkin’ to high heaven and accuse me of not helpin’ you?”

  Letty’s shoulders slumped. He was right.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, and shed tears anew. “You’re right. I’m wrong. So please let me die.”

  Die? Why did she keep wanting to die? Eulis could tell that she wasn’t going to get off that pity horse unless he dragged her. As badly as he hated to get close to her again, he held his breath and waded back in the water.

  Letty staggered when he grabbed her by the wrist and started pulling at her. She kept rubbing her eyes with her hand and bending over to puke, only there was nothing left to come up.

  When she could catch her breath, she begged for him to stop.

  “Eulis… wait. I can’t walk in these clothes.”

  He frowned, then took a knife out of his pocket and started cutting at the cloth.

  Letty screamed and started grabbing at herself. “What do you think you are doing?”

  “Taking off your clothes so you can walk.”

  “You can’t do that! They’ll be ruined.”

  “Hellsfire, Sister Leticia, they’re already ruined.”

  She ignored the sarcasm as she swatted at his hand. “What are you talking about!”

  Eulis paused. “The smell. It ain’t never gonna come off the clothes, and it’ll be a while before it comes off of you.”

  “Smell? What smell?” Letty asked.

  Eulis gawked. She had to be kidding. Then he realized that if her eyes were swelled shut, she’d probably gotten it square in the face, which meant that the smell had so overpowered her senses that they were most likely damaged. On the one hand, that was unfortunate, but on the other she wouldn’t be likely to be complaining about farts anymore.

  “You got skunked,” he said. “Real good… or I guess I should say, real bad. It swelled up your eyes some and that’s what’s makin’ you sick. That will pass, but you’re gonna stink for a while.”

  Having diagnosed her situation, he ripped off the last of her dress, leaving her standing in her bloomers and a short shift that covered most of her top parts.

  Letty, on the other hand, was so shocked by what he’d said that she didn’t even object when he ripped away the last of her clothes.

  “It was a skunk? That’s what I heard in the bushes? That’s what did me in?”

  “I reckon so,” Eulis said, and tossed her clothes into the brush. They were too wet to burn and their camp was across the creek, so the smell shouldn’t bother them much. Letty’s presence, on the other hand, was going to be a hindrance to a good night’s sleep.

  Letty groaned and then gagged. “I still wish you’d just shoot me.”

  “I can’t,” Eulis said.

  “I know… I know. You don’t have the guts.”

  Eulis glared, although the emotion was wasted on Letty since she couldn’t see his face.

  “No, ma’am that’s not it at all. It ain’t from lack of guts, I just don’t have a gun.”

  His answer was as rude as a slap to the face. Just as she was about to give him a piece of her mind for making light of her plight, her stomach turned on itself and she began gagging all over again.

  Eulis cursed beneath his breath, tightened his grip on her wrist, and pulled.

  “Follow me, and for once, don’t argue. We’re goin’ back across the creek. You’re gonna lay down and be quiet while I cook us some supper. Then—”

  It was the word supper that did her in. She bent all the way over until her forehead was nearly touching her knees and puked until she finally passed out.

  Eulis thought about leaving her where she’d dropped, and then realized he couldn’t do that again. Like it or not, he was responsible for her welfare.

  He tried to pick her up, but he’d spent too many years lifting nothing heavier than a full bottle of whiskey. Not even his intermittent jobs of grave-digging had prepared him to be able to lift Sister Leticia’s dead weight. So he grabbed her by the wrists, dragged her off the bank, back into the creek, and then out the other side. By the time he got her to the camp sight, she was covered in a thin layer of dirt which was rapidly turning to mud and doused with a second layer of grass and leaves.

  He retrieved the firewood and quickly built a fire so that she wouldn’t catch cold, then covered her up with one of their blankets. It was a shame to use it because the smell would stick to it, too, but he could hardly leave her there to catch pneumonia and die. Like it or not, they were in this together.

  Later, after the fire had burned down some, Eulis cooked up a piece of fat back and made a pan of johnny cake. When he’d asked Letty if she wanted to eat, he’d gotten a moan and a gag for an answer and took it for a no. He would have liked some coffee but that would have meant a trip back up the creek. He didn’t want to leave Letty alone, so he settled for a swig from one of the canteens and called it a night.

  Letty had come awake only once in the night. She’d laid there for a moment trying to figure out what was wrong, but couldn’t focus her thoughts. At that moment she heard a whippoorwill call and wanted to cry. All her life, the whippoorwill had meant home and family—sitting with her mother out on the front porch as darkness fell and listening for the call of that small brown bird, then waiting to hear if there was an answering call from its mate.

  She’d spent her entire adult life listening for the first call of the evening and wishing for a mate of her own. But it had never happened. Once she’d come close, but death had snatched him away and she was too hardened by failures to care to look again. Only now and then the call of a whippoorwill would remind her of what she’d lost, and she would suffer a moment of pain. But it never lasted long. Living was difficult enough without wishing for things that would never be and tonight was no exception.

  Disgusted with her situation, she ignored the small bird and let her misery take her under as she slept the rest of the night away.

  ***

  Letty came awake in increments, hearing first the shuffle and snort of their animals, then the scolding chatter of a squirrel in a tree somewhere overhead. The early morning sun had found a pathway through the lea
ves and was shining on her face. She knew because she could feel the warmth against her cheek.

  Eulis was reciting the Twenty-third Psalm, and she could smell wood smoke, which meant breakfast was probably cooking. She started to roll over and sit up and then realized her eyes were swelled shut.

  Shocked by her condition, she began running her hands all over her face and her hair. At that point the over-powering smell of skunk began to resonate all around her.

  “Oh my God,” she moaned.

  Eulis looked up. “Oh. You’re awake.”

  “That smell,” Letty cried.

  “It’s you,” Eulis said.

  “I’m going to puke,” Letty moaned, and rolled over on her hands and knees.

  Eulis rolled his eyes. “Not again… and not here. I’m a’cookin’ our breakfast.”

  “Christ All Mighty,” Letty said, and then retched one for good measure. “Stop talkin’ about food.”

  “Oh. Sorry,” Eulis said.

  Letty stumbled to her feet then grabbed at her hair.

  “What in hell happened to my hair?” She touched her breasts. “And my clothes… where are my clothes?”

  Eulis frowned. Since her eyes were swelled shut, he should have felt safe enough to confess, but he still found himself taking a couple of steps back.

  “I reckon there’s some dirt and grass in your hair. Course it will wash right out. I can’t say the same for the smell.”

  Letty gritted her teeth to keep from screaming. “I can feel the dirt and grass. What I’m asking you is how did it get there?”

  “Uh… what do you remember about last night?” Eulis asked.

  Letty threw her hands up in the air and would have stomped away, but she couldn’t see where she was going.

  “Going to get water. I was going to get water.”

  “You did. I used some of it to cook su—” Eulis stopped. “Sorry. I forgot. We ain’t talkin’ about cooking, right?”

  Letty’s stomach lurched, but to her relief, it was only a small spasm.

  “Eulis. I swear to God when I can see again I will kill you with my bare hands if you don’t stop beating around the bush. What happened to me? Why am I covered in filth?”

  “After you got skunked, I dragged you in the creek to help you stop pukin’, then you went and passed out on me, so I dragged you out of the creek and back to camp. I put you to bed all cozy like and there you stayed ’til now.”

  Letty moaned. No wonder the backs of her legs and heels hurt.

  “I need to pee,” she said.

  “Okay,” Eulis said, then bent down and took the frying pan off the campfire and set it aside. Wouldn’t do to let their last piece of fat back burn.

  Letty stood up, waiting for assistance. All she heard was Eulis puttering about. She exhaled on a sigh and told herself to remain calm.

  “Eulis.”

  He put the coffee pot down and looked up.

  “Yeah?”

  “I said I need to pee.”

  “Well, go on ahead,” Eulis said.

  “I would if I could see where I was going.”

  “Oh. Yeah. Sorry,” he said, then hurried toward her. He took her by the arm and started leading her toward the trees.

  “Here’s good,” he said.

  Letty reached out, feeling the shelter of being surrounded by bushes, and then frowned.

  “Can you see me?”

  Eulis sighed. “Well, hell yes, Letty. I’m a’standin’ right here.”

  She took a deep breath, smelled too much of herself and gagged again, and then hit him on the arm.

  “That’s not what I mean. If I squat down here, are you gonna be able to see me.”

  “Not if I walk away,” Eulis said.

  “Then get.”

  “Oh. Yeah. All right. When you’re done, just holler.”

  “I was hollering my head off last night and you didn’t hear me.”

  “I’ll be right over there,” Eulis said, pointing to indicate his location, and then sheepishly grinned. “I forgot. You can’t see.”

  “Go away, Eulis. Walk away and turn your back, please. I am humiliated enough as it is.”

  “All right.”

  Letty stood, listening until she could no longer hear Eulis’s footsteps.

  “Are you looking?”

  “No, Sister Leticia, I am not looking at your bare ass, although I am probably the only man within a hundred-mile range that hasn’t seen it.”

  Letty would have liked to give him what for, but the truth was a hard thing to ignore. Instead, she pulled down her bloomers and squatted, taking no small amount of comfort from the relief of emptying her bladder. Now if she could only see and rid herself of the smell on her body, she might never complain about anything again.

  A few moments later, she walked out of the bushes.

  “Eulis.”

  Eulis turned around. Letty was out of the trees, but she was looking toward the creek.

  “I’m here,” he said.

  “Oh,” she said, and turned to face him.

  “Do you mind taking me down to the creek? I know I won’t be able to wash off the skunk, but I would sure like to get rid of the dirt and weeds.”

  “Yeah, sure,” Eulis said. “Want me to go get your soap?”

  Letty smiled. “That would be wonderful.”

  “Okay,” he said. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

  STANDING ON THE PROMISES

  Once Letty had given up trying to maintain any sense of modesty, she stripped down to her skin then eased into the creek.

  Eulis handed her the soap and then patted her on the head as she sat down.

  “I’ll wait for you up here on the bank,” he said.

  Letty hesitated. It would be comforting to know he was nearby, but she remembered the breakfast meat he’d been cooking.

  “I’ll be fine,” she said. “You go on back and have your breakfast. I’ll yell at you when I’m ready to get out.”

  Eulis eyed the buxom sway of her breasts and the soft curves on her body and then sighed. She was a fine looking woman, but that was as far as it went.

  “You sure?”

  “You don’t see any snakes or such?” Letty asked.

  Eulis looked carefully around. “Nope. All clear.”

  “Then run along.”

  Eulis waded out of the water and up the side of the creek bank. He looked back once to make sure Letty was okay, and then hurried back to camp.

  The water was spring-fed, so it was cold on Letty’s skin, but she didn’t care. She’d never felt so disgusting in her life. She scrubbed at her undergarments with some of the soap and then rinsed them in the water. Bracing herself against the swift flow, she lowered herself backward until her hair was completely submerged and let the current have its’ way with the filth. Once the worst of it was gone, she sat up, scrubbed the soap through her hair and then rinsed again and again.

  When she was satisfied with the feel of her hair, she began working on her skin. Time passed until only a small sliver of soap was left. She’d rubbed her skin raw and her swollen eyes were seeping tears. Her hair had been scrubbed clean and shiny, but she still smelled to high heaven.

  She lifted her arm to her nose and inhaled, then coughed and choked. The worst of the nausea she’d experienced last night was beginning to pass. If it weren’t for the smell and her eyes, she’d feel close to normal.

  She combed her fingers through her hair several times to get out the tangles, then turned so that it caught the sun to let it dry. She thought about getting out and calling for Eulis, but he was probably packing up camp. He’d bring her clean clothes when he came back, but for now she would enjoy the quiet.

  She sat still for a bit, feeling the current of the water pushing against her flesh as well as the layer of sand and pebbles on the bottom of the creek. There was a slight breeze in the air, but not enough to carry away the smell stuck to her skin. She wondered if she would ever smell decent again.


  Birds called to each other from the tree tops, mingling with the circling air, the sounds of running water, and filling Letty with a rare sense of peace. She couldn’t remember when she’d been this miserable physically, and still calm within her soul.

  As she was sitting in the water and feeling sorry for herself, she suddenly realized she was singling out a particular bird call from the multitude of sounds, and it was something she’d never before heard in the bright light of day.

  It was a whippoorwill’s call.

  She turned toward the sound, hoping to catch sight of the small brown bird and then realized she couldn’t see. The irony of it all made her laugh, but when she opened her mouth, the sound wouldn’t come. To her horror, she started to cry. At first it was nothing but the hot wash of tears seeping out from beneath swollen lids, but soon the sobs caught up with her pain.

  She’d been a willful and prideful woman who’d lived a life of sin. Just because she’d gotten religion and left the life of a whore, didn’t prove anything. She remembered her impatience with the men on the stage, then the rage she’d laid at their feet when it was Forney Calder’s goat that should have garnered the blame.

  She was convinced that her latest travail was a warning directly from God’s hands. He’d judged her and found her wanting, then handed out this punishment. Because she’d been hateful, even vengeful toward her traveling companions simply because of their lowly behaviors, God had smitten her with a vile scent of her own—one that would linger long enough to remind her that only those who were without sin should cast the first stones. Afraid that she’d lost her religion before it had a good chance to stick, she laid her head on her knees and started to bawl.

  ***

  Crow’s Call had been watching the white woman from the opposite side of the creek bank for almost an hour. The smell of the small polecat was still strong about her, although she looked cleaner than when she had stumbled into the creek. The dirt and grass that had been stuck to her body was gone, revealing heavy breasts, strong legs and a flat, muscular belly.

  But her eyes did not open and she had rubbed her white skin until it looked like the inside of a gutted deer. He understood her misery. He knew of the fire behind her eyes. He remembered well the lingering stench and the laughter of his brothers when it had happened to him. They had made him sleep alone outside their wiki-up. Even the camp dogs had refused to come near him.