Guy Hater

by Sterling, J.

  I sat there stunned at my father’s confession. He wasn’t the emotional type, so this was a side of him that I’d never seen. Especially since he’d tried over the years to convince Nick that love didn’t matter, that it wasn’t real, and a bunch of other crap. My dad had definitely turned a corner since he’d tried to ruin Nick’s life.

  Then pride rolled through me at the thought of my mom’s strength and determination to stand up for herself and for my baby brother. I was so damn proud of her for doing what was obviously right, and found myself inspired.

  “I can’t believe all of this happened and none of us knew.”

  “You boys are a bit busy running a successful business.” He gave me a sheepish grin. “And I didn’t want you to know. I was pretty embarrassed.”

  I was nodding in understanding as my mom poked her head through the doorway.

  “Can I come in?”

  I stood up and swept her into a bear hug, pride still surging inside me. “Mom.”

  Her green eyes, so like mine, shone brightly as she cupped my cheek with her hand. “My sweet Frank. How are things?”

  I cast a wary glance at my dad, and he cleared his throat.

  “I’ll give you two a minute alone,” he said before placing a soft kiss on my mom’s cheek and peeking out the door. “You’ll be happy to know that your brother’s shirt is back where it belongs,” he called out before closing the door behind him.

  I laughed, and my mom’s face lit up. She looked genuinely happy before focusing her attention on me, her expression shifting to reveal the concern she so clearly felt.

  “If your dad left us, then I’m a bit worried.”

  Curious what her opinion might be, and knowing she’d never let me get away with not coming clean at this point, I filled her in. Her face softened as she listened intently, tucking a strand of her sandy-blond hair behind her ear.

  “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, and I know how hard it must be for you. I want all my boys to be happy. It kills me to think of how long you haven’t been, and that I had no idea.” She pressed a hand to her heart and sighed. “And while I would never suggest leaving one relationship for another, that’s not what this is. So, before you go beating yourself up over that notion, because I know how you are, listen to me.”

  She motioned for us to sit, and I moved back behind the desk while she took the chair Dad had just left.

  “I like Shelby. She’s a nice girl, but if she’s not the one for you, then it’s time to move on. For your sake and hers. It’s not fair to either of you to continue living like this. It’s not about the other woman you met either, and you need to know that. She will probably need to know that as well at some point, since she was the push you needed to finally put things in perspective. I’m convinced that if you’d never met this girl, you’d probably stay with Shelby as long as she allowed it. But I promise you that eventually Shelby would have left you. A woman can only take things not going well for so long before we snap. And once we walk away, there’s usually no coming back.”

  Everything Mom said made so much sense, and I nodded. “I’ve just been so afraid to make a mistake or make the wrong decision. I’ve been afraid that leaving would somehow ruin Shelby, or break her, or make me a bad person.”

  Mom gave me a stern look. “You’re not a bad person, but you are being selfish and inconsiderate. You’re not being fair. And more importantly, you’re wasting time. Life is short, sweetie. It’s too damn short to live with regrets. Or to spend years in a relationship when you’ve grown apart and the love has shifted. Not one of us is guaranteed a tomorrow. Everything can change in an instant,” she said, snapping her fingers. “We all think that our time is infinite, but it’s not. It’s limited, and you’re throwing it away. True love brings true happiness, and you deserve to have both. So does Shelby. You need to set her free, and you need to free yourself. Her dad would understand, honey. I promise you, he would want that for you both as well.”

  My eyes stung, and I almost started bawling like a baby. I’d never realized how much I needed the support and encouragement from my parents. Hearing them both tell me that what I wanted to do was the right thing, and that wanting it didn’t make me a bad person, made a difference in how I felt about myself and the situation I’d put myself in.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “I am,” I said, feeling stronger and more resolute than I had five minutes before.

  “I love you.” She stood up and hugged me, and I squeezed her extra tight.

  “Thank you.”

  She looked up at me, her gaze pleading. “I’m always here for you, Frank. Please don’t keep things like this to yourself from now on. Talk to me. Or, at least, talk to your brothers.”

  “I will,” I promised, and she turned for the door. It opened before she reached it, and my dad stepped through.

  “I was just coming to get you. I’m exhausted, woman.”

  My mom laughed. “Me too.”

  “I’ll be right out,” he said as she slipped past him, and my heart felt full.

  “I thought of something while I was out there talking to your brothers,” he said, and I nodded for him to continue. “If you were to go home to Shelby right now and she asked you to leave, told you it was over, how would you feel?”

  That was a question I hadn’t expected. My answer was a gut-level response that came out before I could stop it. “Relieved.”

  “And the idea of never seeing this other woman again . . . how does that make you feel?”

  Using the same tone he had earlier, I said, “Devastated.” My throat and stomach clenched at the thought of never seeing Claudia again, of not getting the chance to explore what was between us. “Shit, Dad, I’d be devastated.”

  He gave me a knowing smile and gripped my shoulder, giving it a squeeze before walking out without saying another word. And just like that, in the span of a heartbeat, everything was crystal fucking clear.

  Saying the things out loud that I had kept locked up so tight inside was like opening up a vault and finding out the door couldn’t be closed anymore. I inhaled a long, deep breath before I released it just as slowly, my resolve strengthening.

  I couldn’t deny the truth any longer. I knew what I needed to do, what I’d been putting off for far too long. It was going to hurt like hell and would be really hard, but this cowardly version of myself sickened me.

  It was time to do the right thing once and for all. It was time to grow the fuck up and act like the man I knew I was.

  I’m Back

  Frank

  Once I started the conversation with Shelby when I got home that night, ending things hadn’t gone at all like I’d expected. It had actually been . . . easier.

  I’d dreaded saying the words for so many years, but once they were out of my mouth, I couldn’t take them back. And I hadn’t wanted to, not even for a second. That’s how I knew without a doubt that I was doing the right thing, even if Shelby hadn’t agreed.

  I tried to get her to stay in our condo, insisting that I could move in with Ryan, but she refused, saying she didn’t want to live with the memory of us or the ghost of me. I couldn’t blame her, but I wanted to make things as easy as possible on her since I felt responsible for shifting her entire life’s plan.

  That only angered her more, my insistence on making sure she was comfortable and taken care of. She told me that she didn’t want my sympathy, my comfort, my friendship, or anything else that had to do with me.

  Three days later, she loaded the last of her things into her friend’s waiting SUV. As they drove off, the driver’s side window rolled down and Lauren, Shelby’s coworker and new roommate, flipped me the bird.

  Stunned, I simply stood there for a minute.

  As I watched them drive away, several emotions ran through me—sadness, guilt, and relief—one right after the other. Then I got excited, refusing to feel like an asshole for finally gaining control of my life and my future.

&n
bsp; Heading to the bar that afternoon, I felt free. The weight that I hadn’t realized had become a part of me was suddenly lifted. My breaths seemed deeper as my lungs expanded. I could truly breathe for the first time in years. The cost of listening to my head over my heart had taken a heavy toll, but everything changed today.

  Everything.

  My new life began, and the old Frank was back.

  “So, she moved out already?” Nick asked as I stepped behind the bar.

  “She left today, gave me her keys and everything.”

  “Wow. She wasted no time.”

  I couldn’t help but agree. Shelby had packed her things, found a new place to live, and was completely moved out three days after I’d ended things. The last few nights, I’d come home to an empty bed and boxes half-packed on the floor, the only signs that Shelby had even been there at all.

  “Yeah, I know. It was kind of the perfect storm as far as timing. Her friend had just broken up with her fiancé, so she was looking for a roommate.”

  “I still can’t believe you actually did it,” Nick added as he mixed a drink for a woman with collagen-plumped lips and fake lashes. “I’m glad that you did, but I still can’t believe it.”

  I glanced at him, wanting to smack him upside the head just because I could. “Do you and Ryan want to keep cheerleading about it, or are you ever going to shut the hell up?”

  Ryan scowled at me. “Hey, I didn’t even say anything.”

  I threw a towel at his head, annoyed when he ducked out of the way and it fell to the floor. “Yet. You haven’t said anything yet.”

  “How did she take it? What did you say? Give us all the details, man,” Nick asked.

  “When did you turn into Ryan? I swore I only had one sister, but now I apparently have two,” I fired back, knowing I was being a dick. My brothers were nosy fuckers, but if our situations were reversed, I’d want details too. I’d just be more of a man about it.

  Nick handed the drink to the woman, who batted those fake eyelashes at him repeatedly before sipping the concoction and letting loose a sensual hum of appreciation. A lot of the women who came here tended to do that after trying a drink—purring like kittens, moaning like they were having an orgasm, or groaning like they were on a porn set, all for nothing.

  “You know your efforts are wasted on that one, right?” I hooked a thumb toward Nick and gave her a quick grin.

  “Can’t hurt to try,” she said with a coy smile, and it took everything in me to tell her that yes, it could hurt her to try. Because Nick saw no one other than Jess.

  Moving to the corner where Ryan stood, I reached over his shoulder and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Nick followed me like my shadow.

  “Just give us the rundown,” Ryan said.

  I thought back to arriving home that night and being surprised to find Shelby still awake and in the kitchen. Even thought it was an ungodly hour, I’d taken it as a sign and had started the conversation by asking her if she was happy. She tried to insist she was, but I knew she was lying, both to me and to herself.

  Keeping my voice low, I said, “She was pissed. She said pretty much everything I thought she would. How I’d wasted her life and led her on. I was an asshole who wouldn’t know a good thing if it hit me in the face. Then she threw her coffee mug at me.”

  “What? No way.” Nick laughed. “I can’t imagine Shelby doing that.”

  “She was mad. And she was hurt. Don’t worry, I ducked.” I mimicked the movement, and both my brothers laughed.

  “Did you tell her about Claudia,” Ryan asked.

  “Why the hell would I do that?”

  “Figured she’d ask if there was someone else. Girls always ask if there’s someone else,” he said with conviction.

  I nodded. “She did ask me that, and she asked me why now. She wanted to know if there was someone else, and if there wasn’t, what exactly had changed between us.”

  “What did you tell her?” Nick leaned in closer as he waited for my answer.

  “I told her nothing had changed, but I just couldn’t keep doing this anymore. That we were both settling, and I wasn’t the right guy for her.”

  “Jesus. That was harsh.” Ryan blew out a breath.

  Blinking hard, I said, “Then I told her about the promise I made to her dad.”

  “Shit! Was she shocked?” Nick said at the same moment Ryan blurted, “What’d she say?”

  So I told them exactly what had gone down . . .

  • • •

  “Did you know I made a promise to your dad right before he died?” I’d said, wanting Shelby to know what I’d done, what I’d promised to do.

  “My dad? What kind of promise?”

  “He made me promise to always take care of you. He said that you were mine now and he couldn’t imagine a better guy with his daughter.” My voice broke as I relayed the information to her for the first time.

  “He did that to me too.”

  Shocked, I blurted, “He did?”

  Shelby nodded. “He said he couldn’t imagine me with anyone else. Told me how lucky we were to have found each other, and that we should always remember that. Relationships were about compromise and love wasn’t easy, he said, but when it got hard, you stuck it out and didn’t give up. He told me not to give up on you, even when you were hard to love. Dad promised me that you would get hard to love; he said that’s what men did.”

  She gave me a sad smile. “He also said that what we had was worth fighting for, and that true love stood the test of time. He hoped we’d get married one day, and said he’d be watching over us when we did.”

  • • •

  Ryan gave me a sad look when he heard that part. “Wow, her dad really did a number on both of you.”

  I agreed. Shelby’s dad had obviously meant well, but he’d put more pressure on us than we could handle.

  “So she probably stayed with you for all these years because of the conversation she had with her dad,” Nick said softly. “That’s messed up.”

  “I know. That’s how I saw it too, but Shelby didn’t see it that way.”

  I thought about how convinced she was that we shouldn’t give up. She tried to get me to see reason, to stay and fight for what we had, but I didn’t want to. She made me say that to her out loud, and it killed me to hurt her in that way, but she refused to listen.

  I’d had to be mean to make her accept that I was serious . . .

  • • •

  “I think we should break up,” I’d said, not knowing any other way to word it so she’d believe me. I hadn’t wanted there to be any doubt about my intentions, so I’d added, “I want to break up.”

  “You’re serious? Frank, no. No, we’re not breaking up.” Her voice quavered as her eyes filled with tears.

  “It’s the right thing, Shelby,” I insisted, refusing to change my mind. I’d lived this way for far too long. I couldn’t do it a second longer without feeling like I was going to stop breathing. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  “No. I stood by you when no one else did.”

  “I know,” I said, feeling my heart break a little at how much I was hurting her.

  “I gave you everything.”

  “I know.”

  “I moved here for you,” she reminded me, and I winced a little, knowing that I’d never asked her to.

  “I know,” I repeated.

  “Stop agreeing with me!” she yelled before changing course. “You don’t want to work on things, try to fix them? We shouldn’t just quit.”

  “I don’t want to keep hurting you, Shelby.” I hated saying anything that would cause her further pain, but she wouldn’t listen and I needed this to end. “But I don’t think this is fixable.”

  She rose to her feet, her face turned to stone. “It’s not fixable because you don’t want to fix it. Everything is fixable if both people want to work at it. You’re not even trying. You have to want to try.”

  “I don’t,” I said, snapping her last thread of hope
and wrecking her composure.

  Stunned, she stared at me with wide eyes, her mouth agape. “You don’t even want to try?”

  “No.”

  • • •

  “Wow. Like I said, harsh,” Ryan said again after I’d finished.

  “I know,” I admitted, refusing to feel bad about it anymore. I was done feeling bad.

  Nick circled his hand in the air, impatient all of a sudden. “When can we get to the good stuff?”

  “What the hell are you babbling about?” I asked with a groan.

  Ryan chuckled. “You know he’s talking about Claudia.”

  I shot them both a look that told them to mind their own damn business when it came to her, even though I knew they wouldn’t. Now that I was officially single and on the market, these knuckleheads would meddle in my social life until that status changed.

  “Can’t a guy be single for ten minutes before you two set him up?” I said, not meaning the words at all. I still hadn’t heard from Claudia, and it drove me crazy. She hadn’t responded to a single text message or voice mail, and hadn’t set foot in the bar since she found out about Shelby.

  “Oh, so you don’t mind if I ask her out then, right?” Ryan asked, sounding serious.

  Just like when he’d mentioned that idea before, my temper flared. Jealousy tore through me at the thought of any other man touching her, let alone my own flesh and blood.

  “Fuck yes, I mind. I mind a whole hell of a lot,” I growled, and the asshole laughed.

  “Yeah, I know you do.” Ryan continued laughing while I wished I could shoot arrows from my eyes at his stupid mug.

  “So, wait.” Nick leaned back, his brow furrowed. “Do you want to be single? After all, this is the first time you’ve been alone in ten years. Maybe you want to play the field before settling down again?”