The Lawyer's Secret Baby

by Polly Carter

  Harriet waved her hands gently to signal surrender. “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, and I’ve never asked,” she said. “I always supposed you would tell me if you wanted to, but whatever it was it was a long time ago now. And, sweetheart, he might be able to help you. He might be your only chance to get out of this awful situation. I know it’s not your fault. I know you haven’t done anything wrong, but that won’t necessarily protect you. We both know that. Maybe you shouldn’t knock back any help you can get, wherever it comes from. And you and Arian used to be such good friends.” She sipped her tea and then supported the mug on the arm of her chair. “The fact he called you tonight must show he still cares something for you. I’m sure he’d help if he could. Can’t we at least ask his advice?”

  Harley listened to her mother’s words and knew they were all true. He was more than a good lawyer, he was the best, and if anyone could help her it would be Arian. Despite the truth of that, the pain of knowing the mistake she’d made and that there was no way of undoing it made it impossible for her to be around him, never mind the expression she imagined she would see on his face when he heard her story. No, she’d had to manage without him when he’d left Perth, she’d had to manage without him when she broke up with him, and she would manage without him now.

  “I can’t, Mum. I’m not telling Arian. Please, don’t you either. I have a lawyer already. I’m sure he’ll do everything he can.”

  “But what if that’s not enough?” Harriet said, tears welling in her eyes. “What if…”

  “Shhh, Mum,” Harley said firmly, picking up the remote. “It will be. We have to believe that. We have to. And you mustn’t upset yourself. Now let’s watch some TV, eh? Do you want to keep watching this or shall we watch another episode of Too Many Heartaches?”

  “All right, darling,” her mother said with a sigh of resignation, turning her eyes to the screen. “I don’t really mind what we watch, but I do wish you would speak to Arian.”

  “No. It’s not going to happen,” Harley said obstinately, pressing the buttons on the remote.

  Harriet took another drink from her mug. “Okay, sweetie,” she said. “I just want to help you.”

  “I know you do, Mum, and you do help–all the time. But you need to be thinking of yourself and not worrying so much about me. I’m so sorry I’m putting you through all this.”

  “I’m okay. You don’t have to apologise. I know it’s not your fault, darling,” Harriet said with a resigned sigh. “But let’s not argue about it now. Come on. Let’s watch this and then I best get to bed. I’ve got a house open tomorrow.”

  “I can’t even help you much with money, since I can’t work,’’ Harley said bitterly. “Thank heavens I’d managed to save some.”

  “Don’t worry about the money,” her mother reassured her as their programme started. “Honestly, I’m happy to work. I love selling houses, I’m good at it, and it keeps my mind off other things.”

  Chapter 4

  Harley’s eyes criss-crossed the tables as the cafe door closed behind her, shutting out the breeze that had sprung up with a cool autumn change. Spotting the splash of pink amidst the dark-haired mothers with babies in prams and grey-haired couples rewarding themselves with a late breakfast out after their decades of servitude, Harley raised her hand and rushed forward as Jessamy looked up from her phone, jumped up and opened her arms.

  “Okay. You sit,” Jessamy directed as she released a trembling Harley from her silent, enveloping bear hug and pushed her into a soft, leather-covered bench on one side of the booth. “I’ll order some coffee and wedges. You want anything else?”

  “No, that’s fine.” Harley smiled up at her.

  “Now, gosh where do we start?” Jessamy said after plopping herself down opposite Harley a few minutes later, her blue eyes wide and her face pushed forward. “Arian. You saw Arian? As in… Arian? Quickly, tell me everything.” She fanned herself with her hand. “Oh my, be still my beating heart. I don’t know how you didn’t fall over with shock!”

  Harley shivered as her cheeks burned. She glanced down at her hands, one locked around the thumb of the other. Taking a deep breath, she looked back up at her friend and grimaced ruefully.

  “I nearly did! I think he had to hold me up. And I just about bit his head off. I’d just got the date and was so angry–with Arian, the world, that good-for-nothing-shit-for-brains. Everything and everyone who’s stuffed up my life. And then I walked slap bang into him.”

  “So, how’s he looking? Pined away to a mere shadow of his former self, I bet.”

  Harley shook her head. “Oh no! Better than ever.” Her lips curled slowly and her eyelids drooped. “He must work out. You should see his arms! Well, not that I’ve seen them other than in a shirt, but they looked in danger of bursting out, and I’m sure his chest is bigger, and his bum as he was walking away from me… No really, he looks totally amazing.”

  Jessamy rolled her eyes. “You’re starting to sound like you did when you first met him. Oh my stars, did you go on and on then about this drop-dead gorgeous, to-die-for guy. I seem to remember at work having to hide in the fruit out the back to give my ears a break.”

  Harley laughed. “And then Max would be running around like ‘Where’s Jessamy? Is she out the back smoking again?’ And we’d say again ‘No, sir. Jess doesn’t smoke. She’s just gone to the toilet.’ And he’d go off to the toilet to look for you, and you’d sneak back, and he’d come back all cross and say all snotty like ‘Miss Lushpin is not in the toilet at all’, and we’d say ‘No sir, she’s over there stacking shelves like you asked her to’.” Both women dissolved into a fit of giggles. “I don’t think he liked us much. We probably would have got the sack if we’d stayed much longer.”

  “Ha ha ha. Whoo,” Jess said finally able to take a breath. “We didn’t like him more, though. That’s why we left before he sacked us, eh? Anyhoo, back to Arian, and don’t get me wrong, you know I love him like a brother, but,” she pursed her lips, “while you’re getting all googly-eyed over his hot bod, what about his wife? Did you meet her too? What’s she like?”

  “No,” Harley’s face dropped glumly at the mention of his wife. “He was at work so she wasn’t around. He hasn’t mentioned her yet. Perhaps there’s trouble in paradise?”

  They were interrupted briefly by the arrival of their coffee and wedges.

  Jessamy pushed her shoulder-length pink hair back off her face and out of the ample bosom spilling out of a crop-top at least two sizes too small. Carefully manoeuvring her talon-length, bright pink fingernails, she took a chip from the bowl that had arrived, dunked it in a bowl of tomato sauce and took a bite. “You wish, hey?” she said.

  Harley grimaced. “Nah, not really. I mean, it makes no difference does it? Whether he’s married or not?” Her mouth set and her voice hardened. “Even if he wasn’t and was still interested in me, he’d change his mind pretty quick when he found out where I’ll be living in a few weeks.”

  “Doesn’t he know? Didn’t you tell him?”

  “No!” Harley looked shocked. “He’s the last person I want to know. He’ll definitely hate me when he finds out–if he doesn’t already. Besides it’s hardly the first thing you blurt out to an ex-boyfriend you dumped and haven’t seen for three years and is now happily married to someone else.”

  “Yeah, but you can’t really know for sure, though, can you? That he would hate you, I mean,” Jessamy argued. “He was always crazy about you, even though you were virtually unemployed and trying to scam him when you met after you pranged his car. So, if he was smitten with you then, why not now? You’re twice as beautiful. And you have the golden child. And he’ll know you’re innocent. Besides, I bet any day now you’re going to get a big fat cheque in the mail with a letter of apology for the terrible mistake they’ve made, and it will all just go away.”

  Harley laughed wryly, then paused while she sipped her coffee. “That would be nice, but pretty low on the list of p
ossible outcomes, I think, especially as the trial is only a few weeks away now. And I reckon Arian would consider this a bit worse than no job and a dented car, don’t you?” she added wryly.

  “Not really. I mean you didn’t actually do anything bad, did you? Just got taken for a sucker, and only because you’re such a nice person.”

  “Aw, thanks, Jess. But no one but you believes that. Well, Mum does, but no one else apparently. Why would Arian? Anyway, as he is married and, short of a miracle, I most likely am going to prison, I can’t see any point in seeing him and I wish he would just stay away. Mum wants me to ask him if he can help me but,” she paused sadly, “it’s too hard seeing him. I’d rather he just leave me alone.”

  “Aw, poor you,” her friend said sympathetically, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “You’ve still got it bad for him, haven’t you? And I still don’t know why you dumped him but,” she put her hands up defensively as Harley opened her mouth to speak, “that’s old news now. Moving on from Arian, I think we need to discuss that miracle you were just talking about. I’m it.”

  “You’re what?” Harley asked looking puzzled.

  “The miracle.”

  Harley’s eyes opened in surprise.

  “What miracle?”

  “The one you need to fix things. I, your fairy godfriend, have just decided that I am going to wave my magic wand and make all the nasties go away.” She popped another chip into her smug smile.

  “Naww, thanks, Jess,” Harley said. “And you’re the best godfriend I could wish for, but realistically what can you do?”

  “Realistically? Everything that needs doing. I’ve worked it all out. I mean, what’s the point of me being a ‘security officer’ if I can’t keep my BFF secure, hey? And besides, it will give me personal pleasure to see that pasty-faced scuzzball get his comeuppance. Where he’s concerned, just call me his Waterloo. Come on,” she added, taking another wedge. “I can’t be expected to eat all these chippies by myself. Hoe in, girl.”

  “What are you talking about?” Harley asked, obligingly taking the smallest wedge she could see.

  “This travesty has gone on long enough. Much further than I ever thought it would. How long have I been back from Melbourne? Nearly three months? As I said before, even though I straight away decided to come back when this nonsense started, I honestly thought the cops would yell ‘April Fool’ or ‘Punked’ or something before I actually made it back, but it’s suddenly got deadly serious and it’s time to put a stop to it. I’m not going to stand by while you’re made a sacrificial goat. El Creepo needs to go down.” She punched the palm of one hand with her other hand, and then took another wedge.

  “But what can you actually do?” Harley was still bemused.

  “I was up most of the night working it out. First we have to find the obnoxious peccant for whom no opprobrious nickname is too bad…”

  “Approbrious?” Harley queried with a laugh as her tongue tied itself in knots. “Peccant?”

  “Indeed.” Jessamy nodded. “Opprobrious. Sweet, hey? So many bad meanings all rolled into one word: nasty, evil, obnoxious, odious, even criminal, just to name a few. Satisfying, no? And peccant? He, she, who did the crime, so that definitely fits him like his nasty black gloves.”

  “Right,” Harley said, still grinning. “Personally, I’ve used a few shorter words to describe him. Four-letter ones mostly.”

  “I’m sure you have,” Jessamy said airily “but as you well know I promised my lovely old Pops, bless his tender heart and may he rest in peace, that I wouldn’t swear and I try very hard to keep my promise. And, I quite like that it forces me to learn new words. Anyway, as I was saying, first we find him, and then–and this is my brilliant Bold Plan–we set him up. So, first we need to find him and then find out who he’s using as his new mule and see if we can recruit her to help. What do you think?”

  “What makes you think he’s using the same trick he did with me?”

  Jessamy prodded the air with the rather large wedge she’d just taken from the bowl to emphasise her words. “I’d borrow money and bet he went straight out and found another sweet and trusting soul, like your good self, and is back to his heinous ways.” She paused to eat the wedge. “Besides, with all the heat on you and nothing tying him to it, he’s free to go about his dirty little business. So, what do you say? You in? We can’t just sit around and let this happen. We need to be pro-active. Just in case that cheque isn’t in the mail yet.”

  “How do you plan to find him, though? And what if it’s dangerous. I’ve got Lyddia to think of, too.”

  “Ah, the infant goddess.” Jessamy’s face softened. “That little treasure definitely threatens my resolve to never have kids. Well, I’ve always fancied myself as a private investigator and have decided that this is the Universe telling me it’s time to start my new career path. But seriously, Hal, I came back from Melbourne to be here for you and to help you. No,” she put up her hands to brush aside any thanks or guilt from Harley, “I was quite happy to. I’m actually loving being back in Perth more than I thought I would–not that I didn’t think I would,” she added hastily, “but I’m pretty happy here at the moment. Anyway, that’s not the point; the point is I came to help you and so far I’ve done nothing.”

  “Yes, you have,” Harley insisted on interrupting.

  “Then how come you’ve still got a noose around your neck? Eh? Answer me that one.”

  “But you can’t do anything about that,” Harley protested.

  “I can hardly do less than anyone else has, can I?” Jessamy answered harshly, her face reddening and her hand pausing on its way to the rapidly emptying bowl of wedges. “Considering they’ve done nothing. The boys in blue don’t care. As far as they’re concerned, they’ve got a result and too bad about your life. Well, it’s not good enough, and as for that piece of walking industrial estate graffiti, he’s not going to get away with it. Not while I have breath.”

  “Crikey, Jess,” Harley said in awe. “I’m with you for sure. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to dissect that low-life and feed him to ants.”

  “So, what do you think: Jessamy Lushpin PI (Privates Investigated)?” They both cracked up again. “Needs work? Never mind, right now finding our crook is more important. And, as for the danger, I was a busy girl in Melbourne: not only did I get all my security tickets, I also learned a few good defensive moves–like how to kick a good-for-nothing toerag in the goulies. And, lucky me, I have just the goulie-kicking boots for the job. They came in the mail just this week.”

  She pulled her foot out from under the table so Harley could admire her ankle-high boots. The toes were painted with a large pink chrysanthemum and the sides with a naked blue lady whose charms were discreetly hidden by another pink chrysanthemum.

  “They really are something,” Harley agreed.

  “And vegan! So, by the time I’ve finished pulverising that odious villain, the only blood on these boots will be his! Now, finish up your coffee and let’s scoff these chips. While the tiny princess is at kindy, I want you to drive me around and show me everything you know about the infamous Gaz. We need to get started. This miscreant’s time has come.”

  “How do you hope to be a private eye with bright pink hair, matching Lycra pants and nails, and artwork on your feet?” Harley asked as Jessamy washed down the last of the chips with the rest of her coffee, they collected their things and went out into the car park.

  “Aha, did I fail to mention that I also learned the art of disguise during my time in beautiful old Lady Mel? Just look at this.” Jessamy fished into the very large floral carry-all that served as her handbag, pulled out a scarf, stuffed it back, fished around again and pulled out a black beanie. She pulled it over her head and tucked her hair underneath. “See? Completely unrecognisable. But, just in case, wait there a sec.” She trotted over to a bright green coupe and came back carrying another bag. “Come on, then. Let’s take your car. Old mate might be well acquainted with it, but the
re are a million grey Hyundais around so unless he memorised the number plate, he’s unlikely to recognise it, and it’s less conspicuous than my frog.”

  The first stop was the drop-in centre. Harley pulled into a parking space fifty metres past.

  “I’ll have a snoop,” Jessamy said. “See if anyone has seen Gazza lately. You keep out of sight.

  Harley slunk down in her seat listening to the radio while Jessamy threw her bag over her arm and walked back down the pavement towards the bright yellow shop front with a sign, written in coloured crayons, in the window that read ‘Hi. Drop Right In. You’re ALWAYS welcome.’

  “It was shut,” Jessamy reported back moments later handing a cup of coffee in a reusable cup to Harley. “I knocked on the door anyway. No answer. I stopped in at the newsagent and lunch bar. No one there remembers seeing anyone fitting our guy’s description. My guess is he’s changed his hunting ground.”

  She put another cup of coffee in the console, climbed in and did up her seat belt then held out a greasy white paper bag.

  “But at least I got some spring rolls and coffee to keep us going,” she said. “Vegetable ones.”

  Harley looked at the coffee she was holding and then at Jessamy.

  “What?” Jessamy asked. “I always carry a couple of reusable cups in my bag. Doesn’t everyone?”

  Harley chuckled, sipped her coffee then put it in the second drink holder, politely helped herself to a spring roll, holding it between her teeth while she started the car and pulled away from the kerb. “Where to now?” she asked once they were going and she could take the spring roll out of her mouth.

  “Just pretend I’m your good friend, Gary. Where do we go next?”

  “The supermarket.”

  “Right. Drive on, driver.”

  “Gosh, that’s a pretty tiny supermarket,” Jessamy said a few minutes later as Harley pulled into the car park servicing a little nest of four shops, the biggest of which was the supermarket. “Best you don’t stop here, though. Drive on a bit and I’ll walk back. You never know who might be doing his shopping, although I reckon the chances are pretty close to Buckley’s we’ll bump into him here. I reckon he’ll be using the same business model but with different locations and a different driver.”