Powerless

by Catherine Johnson

  He removes one hand to brush my hair over one shoulder, exposing the opposite side of my neck, the side without scars. He tugs the back of my top down and I feel the warmth of his body as he leans over me, still thrusting. He bites down hard on the skin at the join between my neck and my shoulder. It’s not hard enough to break the skin, but the shock of the pain and the constant movement of his body within mine tips me over the edge. I scream his name, and as I do, I feel him shudder, then release inside me. He collapses over me, neither of us has the strength or the breath to move just yet.

  By the time we come up for air, the pasta bake I was attempting to make for tea is completely ruined, so we order pizza instead. We eat it on the sofa and end up curled up watching something completely meaningless on TV. We’re quiet, but at peace; until Callum’s phone rings.

  “Hi Donna. Wait, stop. Let me put you on speaker so Becca can hear this too.”

  He fiddles with his phone and then puts it on his knee.

  “Okay, go on darlin’.”

  Donna’s slightly electronically distorted voice emits from the handset.

  “Sorry it took so long to phone. Mike’s in work and I needed to get the boys out of the way before I could call. Bryn’s been watching them.”

  This is a new low, even for our resident psychopath. “What?! How do you know?”

  “The boys’ teacher called me in when I went to pick them up. She told me they’d seen a man outside the school at every break time today. It had been pretty easy for them to figure out that he was only watching certain children. They’ve called the police, but there’s not much they can do.”

  “Are the boys okay?” I know Callum is as worried about them as I am.

  “They’re fine, they have no idea anything is wrong. That’s why I didn’t want them over-hearing me telling you.”

  “What can the school do?” I ask.

  “They’re going to send an email out to all the parents, warning them to keep an eye out for anyone acting suspiciously. The school site is pretty secure. There’s a fence around it, and all but one of the gates are locked whilst the kids are in. You can’t get into the playground from the one that’s unlocked. It’s to keep the kids from getting out and onto the road as much as anything. I’m tempted to pull the kids out, though, send them back to Mike’s parents until after the full moon.”

  “The full moon’s on Sunday. Maybe send them for a long weekend. I’m no’ playin’ roulette with your kids here, Donna, but he might no’ come back tomorrow.”

  “You’re right. Hopefully he’ll think he’s made his point and leave it at this. Callum, it’s one thing for him to come after Mike and me, it’s another for him to go after our kids.”

  “O’ course it is. Doona worry darlin’, I’ll make sure you and yours are safe.”

  “I know you will, Callum. I’m sorry, I know this is a lot of shit to take on. Mike filled me on what he told you last night.”

  “I’m your Alpha. That’s all there is to it.”

  “We’re still with you, Callum, we’re not bailing out.”

  “I know, lass. Thank you.”

  “Okay. Good night.”

  We both wish her good night in turn and Callum ends the call.

  Callum’s quiet for a while, deep in thought. I can physically feel the weight on his mind when he speaks.

  “I cannae afford tae lose on Sunday. If I do, Daniel will hurt anyone that’s ever shown me friendship. It’ll be the worse for you, and for Donna and Michael.”

  I cup his face in my palm and turn his face to mine.

  “I know, but we’re not going anywhere. We’re here, we’re yours. I’m yours. I’ll be by your side.”

  “Sweetheart, that worries me almost as much as it soothes me. I’d rather you were no’ anywhere near all this.”

  “That’s not going to happen and you know it.”

  “Aye, I do.”

  I stand up and hold my hand out to him. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

  He takes my hand and follows me to the bedroom. I’d say it’s only human nature, but we’re not quite human. It feels very natural to be celebrating life in the face of death.

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  I arrive home with a couple of bottles of wine as a nod to the fact that it’s Friday, even though the full moon on Sunday is looming over us, casting an ugly shadow rather than its usual brilliant light. I know that we’ve both been quiet all week, not just when we’ve been together.

  Bryn didn’t reappear at the school on Tuesday. Perversely that wasn’t as comforting as it should have been. At least if he was watching the twins we knew where he was and what he was doing. Now we have no idea what he’s been up to, whether he’s committed another murder, or something equally nefarious. Donna and Michael did arrange for the boys to visit their grandparents again, though. Michael drove them over straight from school today. They’re staying there until Monday; hopefully that will keep them safe.

  The call of the intercom makes me jump a little. I was expecting the sound of Callum’s key in the door, not that electronic nasal drone.

  “Hello?”

  “Becca. It’s Rob. I’ve got some bits and pieces you left at the house. I thought I’d drop them off.”

  This, I definitely wasn’t expecting. As far as I know, there’s nothing that I left at the house, but then I did leave in a bit of a rush and my head wasn’t in a totally coherent state. I suppose it’s possible. I’m not sure why he’s waited so long, but I wonder if maybe he’s asked Claire to move in; that could have resulted in a clear-out.

  “Okay. It’s number eight. Just knock when you get to the door and I’ll let you in.”

  “Great, thanks.”

  I tidy away some of the preparations for dinner as I wait for Rob to knock. When I hear the muffled thumps, I make my way down the stairs to the main door of the flat and open it. I was surprised that Rob had chosen to visit; I’m speechless when I see Daniel and Bryn stood with him.

  “In you go Becca, you don’t want this happening out here.”

  The smile on Bryn’s face chills me enough to physically shiver. I’m pretty certain that I would be safer with more people within earshot, but Daniel takes my arms and starts push-pulling me up the stairs, into the flat. I hear, rather than see, the other two follow. The door thumps shut behind them.

  I’d love to be able to say that my mind is whirling with escape plots and options for weapons. In reality, I’m just fucking scared, and stunned by the realisation that Rob has known for a while, if not the entire time, exactly who attacked me and what happened. I flashback to his odd behaviour on the night that Michael told us that Callum was being released early, and even on the night of the full moon before then. I realise that I had been sharing a bed with someone who could know that secret and keep it from me. That thought makes me feel sick to my stomach.

  I look at the three of them, stood in the centre of the living room as if they have every right to be there, and I know I’m not getting out of this unhurt. I hope I’m going to come out of it alive. The thought that Callum is due home relatively soon flashes across my brain, and I do my best not to let it show on my expression. I don’t want to give them any advantage. My chest seems to fall in on itself as I hope that they’re stupid enough not to realise that he’s due, and not intelligent enough to have done something to prevent him coming home ever again. After all, Bryn had been watching us, he knows that Callum is sleeping here at the very least. I can’t allow that thought any of my energy. I have to concentrate on him coming home, I have to know that that will happen, and I have to be strong enough to still be alive when it does.

  “What do you want?” It’s asking the obvious, but then I’m stalling for time. Bryn starts to answer with a leer, but Daniel holds his hand up for silence.

  “What I want, Rebecca, is to keep control of my pack. I’ll not have uncontrollable wolves running around.”

  “So what do you intend to do?”

  Daniel still h
as hold of my arm. I can feel that there will be bruises when he lets go. I’m beginning to get angry, which is good because fear was taking all the strength out of my legs. How dare he do this. He doesn’t have the balls to fight Callum fairly, in front of the pack. He knows he’ll lose so he’s trying to weaken him, or kill him, before the full moon. Knowing that Daniel is weaker fuels my strength, I try not to think about the fact that three weak wolves can still beat one strong one.

  “What I intend to do, Rebecca, is make sure that all my wolves obey me and that all others are controlled as they should be.”

  “Callum isn’t one of your wolves.”

  “Exactly. Which is why, when the police find you, he’ll be arrested and locked up back where he belongs. He’ll be controlled as he should be.”

  “And you intend to make sure that I obey you.”

  “Not at all. If I leave you alive, you’ll only tell the police that it wasn’t Callum who hurt you. No dear, I’m afraid I need you to end up dead for this to work.”

  Bryn is practically slavering. If Daniel is planning to kill me quickly, he hasn’t told Bryn. Bryn seems to be pretty certain he’s going to have some hand in this.

  “But Donna, Michael and the kids; you’ll leave them alone?”

  “As long as they prove themselves loyal little wolves. You could have saved yourself all of this, Rebecca, if only you hadn’t been so stubborn.”

  “Me? How is this my fault?” I’m so incensed by his patronising tone that the words are out before I know it.

  “You should have stayed with Rob, dear. There really was no reason to leave him.”

  I am speechless. I know I have a look of incredulity painted on my face as I look between Rob and Daniel.

  “Oh I know about his dalliance with young Claire, but you could have ignored that. It wasn’t anything compared to what the two of you had, was it? Not really. You could have been such a good influence on the rest of the pack, Rebecca.”

  Privately I think that I have the potential to be a much better influence now, but I manage to keep that thought in my head where it belongs.

  “And what do you get out of this?” I spit at Rob. Being cool and calm would be more sensible, but my ex has just sold me down the river to be murdered. Cool and calm are elsewhere at the moment.

  “Callum’s not safe for the pack, Becca, it’s only a matter of time before holding off the change catches up with him. You’re a fool not to see that. And it doesn’t hurt to have a little status of my own for once.”

  “But you don’t do you? Only this time you’re not riding on my tail, you’re riding on Daniel’s.” Goddamn my brain-to-mouth link!

  In two angry strides Rob is in front of me. I barely see his hand as he slaps me across the face, knocking me into Daniel. It’s a reflex to rub my cheek, I would have preferred to make a show of being unaffected, but that hurt. My vision in that eye is black for a couple of seconds. Daniel hasn’t moved, and he says nothing to reprimand Rob. Bryn is practically bouncing up and down enjoying the show.

  I need to stall, not wind them up. I need to keep them talking.

  “We know. We know about the girl, in the canal.” I keep my eyes on Rob since he’s still the one closest enough, and with enough space, to hit me; but it’s Daniel that answers.

  “Really? Well I suppose of course you do. We want to make sure the police have as much cause to jail Callum as possible.”

  I’m not sure that this is a wise topic to engage Bryn in, but I’m hoping I can appeal to his macho need to brag about his exploits, that he’ll talk rather than act for a little while longer at least.

  “It was you, wasn’t it? That killed her?”

  Bryn takes a step forward, I instinctively take a step back, but Daniel still has hold of my arm and he stops me. He pulls me a little in front of him. Rock, meet the hard place.

  “Yeah, ‘course it was. She wasn’t a fighter, though. Shame. I like the fighters. Are you going to be a fighter Becca? I know you are.”

  It’s almost an outright admission that he was the one responsible for me being a wolf. I’ve known that for a while now, but it’s unnerving to hear it, especially when he’s closing in on me and I’m trapped and outnumbered.

  “There were others? Six years is a long time, Bryn, there must have been others.”

  “Oh yes there were. No one’s ever going to find them, though. Even the pack haven’t sniffed out what’s left of them yet.”

  He’s been burying his victims on the moors. That space that means so much to us, that is our freedom, that truly feels like our home as a pack. He’s been polluting it. My stomach heaves. There have been times I have felt truly joyous and carefree running across those desolate spaces, and all the time I was enjoying myself over the remains of anyone unfortunate enough to meet pain and death at Bryn’s hand.

  Daniel shakes me roughly. “Oh don’t be so melodramatic. It’s not as if there’s bits and pieces sticking out of the heather. We burn them first.”

  I am very definitely going to die. I know that’s their plan, but there is absolutely no way they’re going to let me live with confessions like this flying around.

  I turn to Daniel. “You’re banking a lot on Callum not going crazy and turning in jail.”

  “If we’re very lucky, he’ll be so distraught at the state he finds you in that he’ll no longer want to live.”

  Daniel’s smile is devoid of all emotion. I’ve lost track of time and I can’t see the clock without making it obvious that I’m looking for something. I have no idea how long it will be until the time Callum usually comes home. Tonight would be a bad night to work late. This going to be hurt, a lot, but all I have to do is survive.

  Daniel takes hold of my other arm, holding me in front of him. I can’t get out of his grip, and I can’t get away. He’s like a solid wall at my back. Bryn reaches out and strokes me, almost tenderly, if such a word can be applied to that man. His fingers move from my hairline, down my cheek, along my jaw and down my neck. He brings his other hand up and grips the neckline of the knitted top I wore to work, and pulls. The material offers no resistance at all as it rips in two. My heart is leaping out of my chest. I desperately attempt to take deeper breaths, trying to calm my heartbeat. My fear is potent to him, I can feel it.

  He caresses the scars that he gave me. He presses into them, stretches them, and I realise he’s examining them. There’s no chance of me stalling him any longer, at least not with words. I can barely get air through my throat, let alone coherent sounds. My brain has completely shuddered to a halt. My ears are on stalks listening for the sound of a key in the door, but beyond that I can’t think at all. I can’t weigh up the options between submitting as much as I can so that he takes his time and possibly, maybe, hurts me less; or fighting and goading him. He’ll kill me more quickly, but it won’t hurt for as long. I just can’t think. I can’t remember what my original objective was. I can’t think beyond the hands that are pulling the cups of my bra down.

  Bryn’s smile is pure evil, before he leans down and bites my breast, over the nipple, hard enough to break the skin. I shout out, a strangled sound. I thrash, trying to get away, but he’s gripped my hips and Daniel still has hold of my arms and is an immovable block behind me. When he straightens up, his smile is smeared with my blood. I can feel him begin to pull my skirt up. In an attempt to be anywhere than in this room I have to turn my face away. I can’t watch him whilst he does this to me.

  I’m aiming to pick a blank spot on the wall to focus on, and that’s when I see Callum standing just inside the door. I didn’t hear him come in. I feel Daniel stiffen and I know that he’s only just seen Callum too. The sound of my cry must have masked his entrance. Bryn notices that Daniel is paying attention to something else. He looks momentarily confused, and then he turns to see what Daniel is looking at. As he does, he reveals me to Callum. When Callum sees me, sees the blood, his expression is the very essence of rage.

  Chapter Twenty Eight


  At first I didnae understand what I was seein’, why I’m seein’ these men in our home. Daniel sees me first, he obviously wasnae expectin’ tae. Then Bryn moves and I see why they were no’ expectin’ tae see me. They obviously doona know that I’m livin’ here now, or they’d have picked a different time tae hurt ma mate.

  As ma mind makes sense o’ the scene in front o’ me, I realise Becca’s bleedin’. Then I see the blood on Bryn’s mouth and I know what he’s done, what he was plannin’ tae do. I see red, almost literally a haze covers ma vision. I can feel ma wolf risin’. I bare ma teeth and snarl, it’s the only warnin’ that they’re goin’ tae get. I start forward, my wrath is like a fire in ma veins, and then everythin’ goes black.