Daring Dooz (The Implosion Trilogy (Book 2))

by Stan Arnold

  Everyone on board the Catalina cheered and whistled. Mrs Hathaway looked as though she would burst with happiness, although she had to double-check to make sure it was Aubrey, what with the greased-up quiff and wrap-around shades.

  As the disembarkation tube slipped smoothly out to meet the Catalina, no one was the slightest bit worried. Everybody, no doubt for different reasons, was looking forward to whatever was going to happen.

  Mrs Hathaway let them go. Alone in the cockpit, she looked straight ahead at Aubrey. He was only about six feet away. After all that worry, nothing could make her happier than she was at the moment.

  Then something managed to do exactly that. Aubrey pressed his nose to the observation window and gave her the double thumbs up and a huge smile. With everything that had happened, she’d almost forgotten.

  She smiled and waved back at him, and Aubrey made some rather vulgar movements with where she guessed his hips were. There would be words about that.

  Nevertheless, she was absolutely overjoyed. She turned and walked into the disembarkation tube. Her head was floating and she couldn't feel the floor.

  An interplanetary spacecraft and a revitalised Aubrey. She knew she was definitely heading for one mind-blowing experience, and, if Aubrey’s gestures were correct, it could easily be two. How much neater and tidier could things get?

  THE END

  Finally, a thank you…

  Thanks for reading this book. I hope it gave you a few fair laughs along the way. I certainly had a lot of fun writing it!

  Daring Dooz is the second book in what I grandly/mistakenly call The Implosion Trilogy.

  The third and final book in the series (for the moment) is Sea View Babylon.

  I suggest to avoid brain scrambling, that you read them in the right order!

  For more details, my website is: http://www.stanarnoldbooks.com

  My facebook page is: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stan-Arnold-Books/114708918620865

  I have no idea how Twitter works, thank goodness.

  Here’s a chapter from Sea View Babylon. It’s not the first chapter, as that might give the game away.

  Hope you enjoy!

  Sea View Babylon (bit of chapter 14)

  Mick and Jim sat on the small sandy beach eating ice cream in the hot sun, and discussing their abject failure as human beings.

  “I dunno,’ said Mick. ‘I tried, but that Jimmi is a slippery customer. It was like juggling kangaroo sperm.’

  Jim stopped licking, stood up suddenly, and went to deposit his unfinished ice cream cone in a nearby waste bin.

  He came back looking a little nauseous. ‘Why do you go in for disgusting similes? You do it all the time.’

  ‘No, I don't,’ said Mick, ‘I could have said slippery as juggling with a bull’s recently removed testicles, but I didn't, because you were eating, and I’m always sensitive to the fact that other people’s constitutions may not be as cast-iron as mine.’

  ‘Anyway,’ said Jim, anxious to change the topic, ‘I don't think Moira loves me.’

  ‘Course she doesn’t,’ said Mick. She’s the most gorgeous creature on the planet and you’re a depressing, scrawny, alcoholic, with no prospects, who last had sex seven years ago, and still has difficulty in remembering what happened.’

  ‘That’s quite unnecessary,’ said Jim. ‘In fact, that really hurts.’

  ‘Sorry, my old mate,’ said Mick, ‘it was out of order, and it was untrue. I reckon it’s more like ten years.’

  ‘Right, said Jim, ‘I’m off to get another ice-cream, but you’ve got to promise not to move on to snails’ penises, red-arsed baboons mating techniques or the way vultures vomit intestines and faeces when threatened.’

  ‘You have my word, dear boy,’ said Mick, ‘and anyway I think I threw all those into the small-talk session with Moira, last night.’

  ‘You were right over the top,’ said Jim, even though he had no recollection of the evening, whatsoever.

  ‘No I wasn’t,’ countered Mick. ‘When that bloke came round selling individual roses, I bought one for her and even managed to recite a rather lovely poem.

  ‘O Love,’ he said, and kissed her mouth

  Heart, heart, remember thou the bliss?

  In east or west, in north or south,

  I know no finer rose but this!’

  ‘Then I followed it up with a few choruses of ‘Who stuck the dick on the snowman, and made it look a lot like me.’

  Jim had had enough, so he wandered off to get an ice cream, and, against his better judgement, bought one for Mick as well.

  So they sat on the beach in the blazing sun, eating ice cream, checking the exhibitionists and reminiscing about their time on the mother-in-law ship.

  ‘You know,’ said Jim, ‘despite the sheer mind-bogglingness of everything, my favourite was the In-Bedroom Personalised Celebrity Hologram Service.’

  ‘Absolutely, my old logistics expert,’ said Mick acknowledging Jim’s willingness to trek off across the baking sand to keep the supply of ice-creams flowing…