Her Pretend Christmas Date: A Lesbian Christmas Romance

by Alexa Woods

  Laney’s eyes dropped immediately to the ground and she let out a shriek.

  There was a huge rat! A rat with bristly hair and long whiskers and beady, glowing little eyes. She produced the can of hairspray, popped the lid and shook it hard. The animal stared back at her and then hissed again, like it had a right to be there and she was the intruder.

  “Get back!” The horrible looking rodent was just a few feet from the concrete doorstep. “Get back or I’ll freaking use this!”

  The creature blinked eyes that seemed to glow. Laney shuddered. It didn’t move. She didn’t move. It hissed again. Laney shook the can.

  “I swear on my freaking life that I will spray you with this if you take a step forward. Hairspray isn’t good for rats. It’s probably lethal. I wouldn’t come any closer, if I were you!”

  The creature considered her. It blinked. Hissed again. And took a step forward.

  Laney shrieked. She shook the can, but dropped it because her hand was shaking so violently. As the largest rat she’d ever seen, more the size of a cat than a rat, charged forward, Laney spun back towards the door and stabbed at the buzzer over and over again. Finally, there was a crackle and Morgun’s voice.

  “Hello? Laney?”

  “Help! There’s a wild animal out here! I think it’s a rat! But it looks like it got into nuclear waste or something! Oh my freaking God, it’s huge! It’s trying to get me. It keeps coming closer. You have to open the door!”

  The door buzzed without comment. Laney grabbed for it, threw it open, and tugged it closed The animal charged the door, but stopped and just stared at her menacingly. She could see it hiss, but couldn’t hear it through the glass. She shuddered again. God, it was frightening. She dug out her phone and quickly typed in a search for a pest control company. They probably specialized in infestations, and one overgrown, very creepy, very feral rat hardly constituted that. She thought again and typed in animal conservation and was flipping through the options when Morgun came charging down the stairs.

  “Wait!” She grabbed Laney’s phone and threw open the door.

  “What are you doing?” Laney shrieked. “Don’t go out there!”

  It was too late. Morgun was outside. She was approaching the animal. It hissed at her. Morgun put out her hand. She had something in it. Was that food? Morgun bent and sure as shit, she was trying to feed the thing! No wonder it was so big if people from around here fed it!

  “Morgun!” Laney cracked the door and leaned out an inch. “What are you doing?”

  Morgun ignored her. She fed the creature whatever she had, then slowly reached around and picked it up! She held it against her chest and ran a hand down its back, muttering something soothing to it.

  Laney just about passed out. Her breathing shallowed while her pulse accelerated to dangerous levels. Heart attack levels. She threw her hand over the left side of her chest just in case. It did kind of hurt…

  “Can you open the door?” Morgun asked from the other side.

  “Not a chance!”

  “Laney! Open the door. I forgot my keys upstairs. It’s not a rat! This is someone’s pet!”

  “What?” Laney slowly, reluctantly, cracked the door again. She was sure Morgun had completely lost her mind because that was no cat or dog out there and it certainly wasn’t a dang Guinea pig. It had a tail. A scaly, scary, rat-like tail.

  Morgun rolled her eyes as she stepped inside. “Mrs. Johnson in unit two forty-two found this little guy when he was just a baby. His mom was hit by a car right by the parking lot outside. She called a few wildlife places, but no one would come and help. There were a few other babies in the pouch, but they didn’t make it. Chester was the only one who survived. Mrs. Johnson looked after him, feeding and caring for him. We all know about it, but if someone called it in, he’d be taken away, and she’d be absolutely heartbroken. She loves him like a child. She’s ancient. She once had a son, but he passed away a few years ago and he didn’t have any children. She’s all alone. I visit her sometimes, and a few other people in the building look in on her, but she just has Chester, and if she didn’t have him…” Morgun’s eyes misted over and Laney felt a lump rise in her throat.

  “What is it?”

  “An opossum!” Morgun laughed softly.

  “Jesus. I almost sprayed him with hairspray.”

  “Hairspray?”

  “Well, I’m sure it’s not a very good idea to carry around mace.”

  “Is that even legal?”

  “I have no freaking clue.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t.”

  “I just have it in my purse for emergencies. I’ve never had to use it. Thank God. I dropped it when I was trying to shake it up. I was so scared. It ran towards me when I was pressing the buzzer, so I just wanted to get inside as fast as possible before it got me.”

  “Well…” Morgun stroked her hand down Chester’s back. He nestled into her, totally harmless and obviously very happy. “He was just scared. That’s why he hissed.”

  “I’ve never seen one before.”

  “Really? Not even online?”

  “They look different in real life. In the dark.”

  “I guess.”

  “It hissed. I panicked. I saw the tail. It does look kind of like a rat. You have to admit it.”

  “A super cute rat, hey Chester?” Morgun petted the opossum and it seemed to smile as it looked at her.

  Dang. Up close it was kind of cute. The way the lips curled up in a sort of huge, soft smile was adorable. The whiskers were long and adorable too. Even the bristly looking hairs and strange ears and long tail weren’t so bad.

  “I’d better get him back to Mrs. Johnson. She’s probably frantic by now. I’m not sure how he got out. It’s happened a few times before. He’s super smart and sometimes she doesn’t close her door all the way if she’s gone out for groceries. Once, someone was visiting her and they didn’t shut it properly. It’s lucky that Chester is totally tame. He’s been Mrs. Johnson’s since he was so, so tiny. He doesn’t know anything but this place.”

  “When was that?”

  “Just a year ago. Maybe less. Opossums only live a few years. They have super short lifespans. It’s sad, actually. Usually, they just play dead when they feel threatened or scared, but Chester is so used to people now that he doesn’t bother.”

  “A few years?” Now Laney felt bad for the animal. And for Mrs. Johnson. Who she’d never even met.

  “Yeah. A few of us who know her have got together and talked about it. After Chester, we think maybe she’d like a rescue cat. One of the super old ones that no one adopts. That’s really sad too. I’ve been thinking about adopting one myself. That’s where I got the idea.”

  “Oh. Uh, are you going to take him back?”

  “Yeah. Do you want to come?”

  Laney wasn’t sure. “Are we going to get invited in for tea and cookies?”

  “Probably.” Morgun winked at her. “I can almost guarantee they’ll have either long gray hairs from Mrs. Johnson’s wig in them, or shorter gray possum ones.”

  “Well then! How can I refuse?” Laney found herself smiling so wide that her face hurt. She might have even been grinning. Even though grinning wasn’t something she ever did. Just a regular smile, without teeth, was often more than enough for any given situation. She believed anything more was just about redundant. But there she was. Smiling with her teeth showing. And loving it.

  Chapter 18

  Morgun

  After returning Chester to a very happy and relieved Mrs. Johnson, who did indeed offer them tea and cookies, in which they only found two hairs, and almost an hour of pleasant conversation, Morgun led Laney back to her apartment. Mrs. Johnson lived on the top floor, two floors above Morgun’s small one bedroom.

  She told herself not to feel weird about letting Laney in. She didn’t want to think about Laney surveying the place and finding it wanting because it didn’t have stainless appliances and hardwood floors, or whatever was in
fashion. Maybe there was something better than stainless. Diamond plate?

  Morgun also told herself that it didn’t matter that her furnishings were hand me downs from her parents and classified ads and garage sales. She’d spent money on the dresser in her bedroom, since it was antique and she’d liked it, as well as a brass bed frame, so that it kind of matched the dresser, but the couch, desk, TV stand, even the TV, and the tiny glass and chrome table and chairs set in the far corner of the living room by the kitchen were all very outdated.

  Laney walked over to the couch and felt the red afghan with white snowmen on it that Morgun’s mom knitted her for Christmas a few years ago. Morgun used it all year round because she knew it had likely taken her mom years to complete, though she’d never admit it, and also because it was soft and quite warm with its tight stitching.

  “This is cool. Did you make it?” Laney asked. “It’s really soft.”

  “My mom did.”

  “Really? That must have taken forever.”

  Morgun smiled and found herself slightly amazed that yet again they seemed to be thinking the same thing at the same time. Was that just coincidence, or did it hint at some deeper sort of connection? Laney was only over because she’d agreed to do Morgun a solid, probably out of some sort of misplaced guilt.

  “Uh, the photos.” Morgun pointed at the desk. “I’ll get an extra chair from the table. Or do you just want to go through them? I don’t want to crowd you.”

  “No. I’d like you to show them to me.”

  “Okay.”

  Morgun was nervous, even though she tried to pretend she wasn’t. She just about dropped the chair on her foot when she set it down. The desk chair was nicer, so she let Laney have that. She sat down hard and ran her tongue over her dry lips, trying to unglue them from each other. She’d just drank a whole heaping cup of green tea, liberally flavoured with one mysterious and long gray hair. She shouldn’t have a dry mouth.

  She wanted to face-palm her forehead when Laney flipped on her laptop. The thing was as ancient as the rest of her stuff, but it did run the editing software she preferred to work with, so it was good enough for her. Of course, Laney picked up on that.

  “Oh. You use the weirdest software. I’ve never even heard of this.”

  “That’s because you can buy it for a couple hundred dollars, not a couple thousand.”

  “Talk to David. The company buys licences for software if we need them. You could be using the good stuff for free.”

  “Really? I’m not sure I’d even know how to use it.”

  “What?” Laney gaped. “Didn’t they teach you that in school?”

  Wow. Was now the time to admit that she obviously didn’t have the same credentials Laney did? No, it wasn’t. Morgun didn’t feel like getting into it. She wasn’t a photography major. She was a business major, though she’d taken every photography course she could, as well as every computer class she thought would help her. It helped to be experienced with other things like marketing and accounting when running her own business.

  “I…”

  “If you don’t know how to use it, it’s not a big deal. It’s probably more complicated than I’d have time to show you, but you can take some weekend courses. You should ask David. They might even cover that too.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah.” Laney figured out how to bring up the photos and clicked on the first one. “The company likes to invest in people if they think their work is worth it. I bet David thinks yours would be. It can’t hurt to ask. He gave you this gig because he wants you stick around. I don’t know if that was clear or not.”

  “I guess so.” She had never thought about it that way.

  Morgun’s chest felt all fluttery. She was jittery too. She didn’t know where to put her hands and she could barely sit still. She wasn’t sure if she was more flattered at Laney’s statement, or if the wild energy had to do with how close Laney was sitting. So close that Morgun could feel the heat pouring off her body.

  She was wearing a black blouse and black skinny jeans which were in such a state of ripped up that it was hard to believe someone could sell them, and probably for a shit-ton of money too. The ankle boots Laney had on, black with silver buckles down the sides, didn’t look cheap either. Her dark hair was pulled into a messy bun that she managed to make look like it had come straight from a hairdresser’s professional hands.

  Morgun gulped.

  Thankfully, Laney started going through the photos, talking about each one. The building was an old warehouse. It used to be a bread factory and Morgun had taken her time with all three floors. There were some pretty neat things inside and she was afraid she’d gone into too much detail with the ancient doors, the hardwood floors, the metal ceiling tiles, the loading bays, the huge ovens, the glass panes in the windows, and hadn’t taken enough time with the actual rooms to give a good overall feel for the ancient brick building.

  She was so apprehensive that she almost stuck a finger between her teeth and nibbled at her nail. She never bit her nails. She’d done it a few times as a kid and had bitten straight into the pink and walked around with sore fingers for a few days. That had ensured she used nothing other than clippers and a nail file in the future.

  “These are really, really impressive. Who are you reporting to?”

  “Amanda Howards.”

  “She’ll like them. She might not use them all, but I know she’ll get excited about them. The rooms are good, but you went into details that everyone else would miss. You made the place look like it’s not just a dump, which is good, because I bet they’re asking some insane price.”

  “I think at least a couple million. They want to sell it to be converted it into condos, but the cost of taking out all the stuff in there would be substantial. I tried to capture the beauty and elegance of the building. I think it’s worth saving, instead of just tearing it down and building up something soulless and modern in its place.”

  Laney blinked her long lashes a couple of times. “You like old things too?”

  “Yes! I love antiques, but I can’t really afford them.”

  “Are you kidding me? You like antiques?”

  “Umm. Yes…” Morgun wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing because Laney was suddenly acting really weird.

  “I do too,” she said softly, like it was the most monumental discovery in the world. “I’m really into history, and I have tons of antiques. My whole place is done up with old crap, as Jason and my dad like to call it. They’re not fans. Mostly because it’s heavy and I usually end up calling them to help me move it around. I think no matter what it was, old or new, they’d complain, but the new stuff doesn’t weigh as much because it’s usually constructed out of garbage.”

  Morgun just nodded, feeling even more self-conscious about her place. Most of the furniture she owned was constructed out of garbage. She was going to offer to show Laney her dresser, but she backed out of that, relieved that she hadn’t. If Laney collected or liked antiques, the dresser probably wouldn’t impress her. She’d probably just laugh at it.

  Laney stared at her. She kept staring, trying to read Morgun’s expression until she squirmed in her seat under the scrutiny.

  “Sorry. Did I say something wrong?”

  “No,” Morgun quickly assured her. “No. You didn’t. I was just thinking about something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You were thinking about something, but you don’t know what it is?”

  “I forgot.”

  “Do I make you nervous?”

  Morgan swallowed hard, feeling her cheeks heat up. “Of course not.”

  “Can I kiss you?” Laney asked. Her eyes darkened as she studied Morgun, but other than that, there were no visible signs that she was turned on.

  “Umm, I…”

  “Yes?”

  “I g-guess…”

  Laney didn’t wait. She clasped Morgun’s face gently
with those hands she used to work magic with a camera, tilted her face up just slightly, and crushed her lips with the most searing, desperate, most insanely hot kiss of Morgun’s life. Well, maybe it was the second most searing, desperate, insanely hot kiss of her life. Because Laney had kissed her before. And she remembered every single detail of it. It was every bit as amazing as this one.

  “I really like kissing you,” Laney said when she pulled away. Her voice was different than ever before. Quiet. Sweet. Passionate. Raw. It was her voice. Not her tough voice. It was real. She was open and vulnerable and Morgun saw that whether Laney was choosing to let her see it or not.

  Morgun’s chest squeezed.

  “I liked it before. That night. My brother’s wedding. I messed it all up.”

  “I shouldn’t have gotten mad,” Morgun protested softly.

  “Still.” Laney reached out and took Morgun’s hand, and shivers snaked up her arm. “I messed it up. I don’t want to mess it up now.”

  “I…”

  “Can I kiss you again?”

  You can do more than that. I want to do more than that with you. I want to do more than that to you. Morgun didn’t say it. She was suddenly too shy to say that, but she wasn’t too shy to tell Laney yes. She wanted this. She’d thought of nothing else since the night of the wedding. Even though she was pissed off. She wanted that again. That crazy explosive chemistry. She wanted Laney.

  “Yes,” Morgun whispered. “Please kiss me again.”

  Chapter 19

  Laney

  Laney leaned in until their faces were just inches apart. She drank Morgun in before she tasted her. Goosebumps beaded all over her skin when Morgun’s tongue stroked hers. Laney tilted her face and gave everything. She didn’t hold back—usually she always held back. Not this time. This time her hands tangled in Morgun’s hair, gathering the silky strands. This time she kissed so deeply that she didn’t think she’d ever find her breath again. This time, she wasn’t going to stop. This time, she was giving everything.