Craving-First Thirst

by Claudy Conn

  I spent a few nights in self-pitying agony, but I had to feed. I couldna get away from that awful fact.

  But I had vowed to m’self that never again would I taste human blood. I was determined to keep that promise. So I went out at night and discovered I had skills and abilities that I could use to help me survive, and hunted whatever game I could find.

  However, after a week went by, Allora made it known that she meant to keep what she produced. She had created me and meant to have me and make me serve her needs.

  She arrived outside m’balcony doors and demanded I let her in.

  I refused. She described m’friends, the servants that had been working for me for years. She made me aware that she knew who they were. She did so with one purpose—to make me understand what she could do.

  She told me I had a choice, to let her enter m’home or accompany her to Brently. I realized that Allora, an ancient vampire with evil in her cold dead heart, would destroy anyone I cared about if I dinnae do one or the other of her demands.

  I couldna, wouldna give her an invitation that would allow her to come and go at MacLeod whenever the whim took her. Ye see ‘tis true, vampires need an invitation to enter yer home.

  I asked her for time to adjust to m’condition. Oddly enough, she agreed.

  Over the next weeks, as I learned to control the thirst and while I quenched it with animal blood, I also learned how to take only what I needed and not kill the poor creatures I had to use to survive.

  Allora returned and repeated her demands. This time she didn’t mince words and advised me that she would kill everyone I had ever cared about if I dinnae submit to her demands to remain with her.

  I loathed her, but I couldna allow her to hurt people who were dear to me. I had friends and tenant farmers, servants, and people I cared about. I couldna stand by and let her destroy the world I loved.

  In the end, I did go to her, but with the mandate that we live abroad. I couldna have her near m’village…near the people who were dear to me.

  Allora is temperamental and unpredictable. There was nae saying when she would strike out and hurt a human I cared about. Aye, they were human. I nae longer was.

  However, the humanity in me still was strong. I dinnae think I even craved human blood after that first night Allora turned me.

  At any rate, she accepted m’bargain because it suited her. Allora, I discovered, loved Europe far more than Scotland.

  We traveled together and the longer I was with her, the moodier and more miserable I became. I hated her. She liked me that way, she said. Fucking her was just that—fucking. She tried to call it making love and that made me furious. I would throw her off me when she spoke of love.

  She would go off on her own for days on end. I had nae idea where she went or with whom and I cared even less.

  During that time, I studied ancient spells and dark magic. Bits of information about her and the Ancient Vampire Clan that ruled the dark side of Europe got through to me, and I stored that information to use against her one day.

  Whenever she returned from one of her jaunts, she would ask me if I missed her and I told her the truth she didn’t want to accept. I told her I reveled in every minute I had without her in it.

  It was the turn of the century, more than twenty-five years had gone by since she first turned me, and I had learned a great deal about what it meant to be a vampire. I was getting closer to the end of m’imprisonment. I would never again see the people I loved—nae while she was alive. But I had a plan.

  I began to pick fights for nae a reason…out of nothing. I started to annoy her at every turn. I had a goal.

  One day, she attempted to dispose of m’tin of pig’s blood.

  That was a mistake. I may nae be an ancient, but I had been training m’self, enhancing m’skills, and this time, I went on the attack.

  I go to a great deal of trouble every week to travel to nearby villages and stock up from different butchers so as nae to draw attention to m’self. It isn’t easy to keep the blood fresh, but I manage.

  I wasna about to allow her to interfere with anything I did to retain what humanity I had left. As it turned out, m’speed and strength matched her own.

  She hadna expected me to zero in on her with such force, but I did. I had her blonde hair in m’hands as I bent her back and threatened her with the leg of the chair I had just broken.

  She looked momentarily taken aback.

  I promised to kill her the next time she interfered with me.

  So she, instead, took to taunting me about m’pig’s blood whenever she was around. She called me many ugly names. I dinnae listen or care. I was, in those days, biding m’time.

  Even fucking her now was becoming difficult for me. I turned away from her demands more often than not. She threatened to return to MacLeod—the threat was always there, that purposeful threat. So I fucked her hard. I even tried to hurt her, but she liked it rough.

  I was in hell. A man of m’stamp doesn’t take to being ordered about—used as she used me. So I continued to bide m’time and waited.

  Years passed, och aye, twenty-five turned into fifty and then one hundred. That was what I had waited for. That was the time of m’independence, in that hundredth year.

  We were in Paris at the moment of m’decision to leave.

  I think she had grown weary of m’moods. She was away from our hotel room much more than she was there.

  I dinnae think she would care when I left and at any rate, it dinnae matter. M’loved ones were gone. She could not threaten me any longer.

  I had secretly been keeping MacLeod under m’management through an estate manager and that was where I headed in the year of 1975.

  I think she needed a change from m’constant display of loathing for her, because she dinnae coom after me.

  M’time to leave had come with the passing of all I held dear. She couldna threaten me any longer.

  I returned to MacLeod. Wealth that had been mine had tripled with m’investments over the years and I had already arranged for documents to be created, should I need them.

  Without Allora’s knowledge, I had met with a gypsy some years past. I paid her well and she gave me what I needed to become a day-walker. It was so simple. A long forgotten herb. A weed really, that I perfected and spelled with m’own dark magic for extra potency. It doesn’t work as well on vampires that drain and kill humans.

  I used to have to take the potion every single day, but now, m’body has acclimated to it, and absorbed it in such a way that I only need a booster once a month.

  We grow it all over MacLeod. I dried enormous amounts and kept them with me when I traveled. Moonweed—a wonderful botanical miracle.

  When I was sure Allora had forgotten all about me, I decided to remain at MacLeod permanently and reestablish m’roots at home. I began m’research for a cure for vampirism.

  I couldna give up hope, but a part of me believed there wasnae one. Even so, I have found some solutions over the years with m’experiments in botany and discovered another rare plant. Wolf-Rose in small doses seems to curb m’need for blood and reduces the craving. I had to build up a tolerance for it, as it made me quite ill at first.

  And then, twenty-two years ago, I met a lovely lass, och aye, m’darlin’ Sarah Ascot. She was soft and good and m’love for her was as gentle as she. She was m’hope for a relatively normal life.

  When in the presence of another supernatural…we are able to sense one another. Maybe nae at first, but after a bit, ye can feel the magic in the other.

  I felt it across the room, and I knew she was a witch.

  I took her to dinner and confessed immediately what I was and waited for her to confide in me as well.

  And one day she did. She told me that not only was she a witch, but an immortal one, and Jeremy, her brother, was a warlock. I thought then, how lucky am I to have found someone to share m’life forever.

  I thought perhaps redemption was mine. I liked her so very much and that
like turned into a soft love. It dinnae have the wild passion I had dreamt of as a young man, but it was good.

  But apparently repentance was not enough. The fates decreed I still must be punished.

  Apparently, on a whim, Allora decided to visit me at MacLeod.

  She couldna have entered had Sarah nae invited her in.

  I was late getting home. Jeremy and I had been to town on business and we stopped by the pub. I was late…too late.

  M’young bride had nae notion…and if she did, it came to her too late.

  I was only ten minutes away. Ten minutes!

  I never thought to tell m’bride about Allora. If I had told her about Allora and cautioned her never to invite the bitch inside, I would have been on time. She wouldna have allowed Allora inside.

  Instead—

  I returned to find m’new bride’s head on our bed.

  Allora left the ashes of m’bride’s body beside it. Her note read, I will kill everyone you love.

  I collapsed in a heap of agony.

  Pain spread through m’body and mind. I cried to the fates that had done this to an innocent, for Sarah had been an innocent. I vowed then to find Allora and tear her apart, bit by bit.

  That was all I wanted. I could think of nothing else and nothing else in m’life mattered.

  I tracked Allora down, but I am ashamed to own that each time I found her, I was unsuccessful in m’attempts to kill her.

  She is an ancient with great skills, and abilities I had nae then acquired. She knows how to stay alive, however, each time I learned something new and incorporated it in m’plans. And I had Jeremy’s magic to aid me.

  Aye, I was so full with the need for revenge and couldna waver from m’purpose. M’last attempt came very close to killing her.

  It was then, in that moment, I finally saw the sudden fear in her eyes. In that moment, she realized I would never give up and that she would have to constantly look over her shoulder. It was that last time when I saw she understood in the end, I would destroy her.

  Because I know her. Because she is a survivor, I should have expected something. I should have known she would decide to strike back.

  I should have seen it coming. I dinnae.

  I knew she nae longer wanted me. I knew she nae longer was even remotely attracted to me. I had seen the look in her cold, amber lit eyes. Only hate remained…and a measure of fear.

  That last time, I had come close to beating her at her own game. I became cocky—too cocky with the realization that I was skilled enough to accomplish m’goal.

  She knew one day when she least expected it, I would be there.

  Why hadna I expected a preemptive retaliation from her?

  It was some months after m’last attempt on Allora’s life that I sat at m’desk, planning m’next attack. I thought she was settled for a time in Venice where a number of ancients reside. She is an outcast. They regard her as a liability, but she likes to remain on the edges of their circle. Now and then, they throw her a bone, and invite her to one of their balls. In return, she does their dirty work from time to time.

  I know the city well. I was working out a way to corner her in a place she wouldna be able to escape…while she was sleeping during the day.

  I had forgotten that she could now enter MacLeod at will.

  I looked up from m’desk in the library and there she stood, but…she was nae alone.

  M’first thought was, run!

  Och aye, a man’s pride is often his downfall.

  Pride beat the notion of running out of me, even though logic said it was the only way I would survive this encounter with Allora. She had come at me on her terms, nae mine!

  Instead of running, I stood and said, “Get out of m’home, ye evil bitch.”

  That was stupid, I know. I knew as soon as the words were out it was stupid bravado. Every instinct told me I still had a chance if I would only use m’vampire speed and outrun the night.

  She was nae, could never be, a day-walker. If I could outrun her in the dark, which I knew I could, I would be ready for her tomorrow night.

  That damn pride wouldna let me move.

  I took a moment to study the lovely lass standing unhappily at Allora’s side. Allora had her hand around the woman’s throat.

  I realized at once, as the aura of her magic encasing her glowed brightly, that she was a powerful witch. I sensed she wasn’t with Allora by choice.

  Allora had the witch in her clutches somehow. Och aye, but I knew in that moment I was in serious trouble. I could feel the witch’s power radiate between us. All her energy was focused on me. In the witch’s lovely eyes, I saw her beg m’pardon.

  Aye then, it was confirmed, nae here by choice.

  M’darlin’ Sarah was a witch, not as powerful as this lass, but I was familiar now with the glow a White Witch radiates. This one was a Witch of the Light, aye, but the mana burning around her was strong, so strong. She wouldna kill me. She wouldna kill. I was sure of it. Why then had Allora brought her here?

  Time dinnae stand still. Time moved swiftly and laid me low.

  Even as I planned m’next move, everything went to hell.

  In the flash of a moment, m’damned bloody world once again turned upside down. Ye think I would have seen it coming. Ye think I would have learned by then.

  The witch beside Allora said a few words in a language I didn’t recognize and the next thing I knew, I was staring at Allora and the witch through a transparent wall. Some kind of clear shield allowed me to look through at them…but I was nae longer in the human world. I was in another realm altogether.

  I looked around and saw I was standing in a jungle of sorts. Ruins soared into the sky at quite a distance. It looked like a temple of sorts. Rolling hills rose into a mist miles away.

  Where was I?

  “What have ye done?” I asked, trying to pound on the transparent shield between m’self and m’home.

  “Punished you. You can watch your estate fall into ruin as the years go by. You can think what your life would have been had you loved and stayed with me—taken me as your wife!” she snapped, and her face was drawn in rage.

  I closed m’eyes. Allora’s witch had sent me to another realm where I would be able to see into m’world, m’home, m’land, but be unable to communicate with anyone in m’world, in any manner. M’eyes snapped open as I realized m’fate.

  “I am sorry, My Lord,” the witch said. “She threatened my daughter.”

  “Enough,” Allora shouted.

  The witch broke free from Allora and started to chant, but Allora put a finger up and said, “Remember, I know where you sent your daughter.”

  The witch stopped immediately and Allora pulled her against herself and sneered before saying, “Ah, but you need an introduction, you two. Devin, this wonderful witch, who has sealed your fate forever away from your precious life here in your precious human world, is Lisa MacForly. She is an immortal witch of stupendous power. She alone can lift the spell that keeps you on the other side, but you see, I don’t wish her to lift that spell…not ever.” So saying, she produced a sword and with one swift movement, she did the unthinkable and beheaded the poor woman in her grasp.

  I watched, horrified, as the witch’s body sank in Allora’s hold. I was stunned immobile as Allora swung the head she had severed, just as she had done with m’bride a year before. I watched as blood poured onto the floor and screamed with the agony I felt. I emptied m’lungs as I did m’heart.

  Allora continued to swing the witch’s head to and fro as she laughed and it was a maniacal sound. She stopped suddenly and came closer to the shield between us. “You know, don’t you? You know why I killed her. Because her kind is always doing the ‘right thing’.” Allora sneered. “I knew that as soon as I went off on one of my junkets, she would have returned here and undid the spell. I knew that. So I made that impossible.”

  I said nothing.

  Allora’s smile was hateful. She shrugged and eyed me. “You—D
evin, are the only one I have ever wanted…ever loved, and you hurt me. What reason could you have had to leave me for so long and then marry another? You could have played with other women. I am not unreasonable. Eternity is a long time. I would have allowed such as that. But you married her!” She gave me her back as though composing herself. “Well, you will live to regret it. You will live on the other side in another world. Only she—Lisa MacForly, can undo the spell, and she is gone. You are forever cursed. I knew she meant to free you. I knew it the moment she sent her daughter off to New York. She would have faced me down, and as she was the most powerful witch I have ever encountered, I couldn’t take the chance that she might have been able to outdo me. No. So I struck first. I caught her by surprise, didn’t I? She wasn’t expecting me to kill her. I outwitted a great Witch of the Light, because we all know White Witches think with their hearts. All I had to do was outthink her.” Allora arched a look at me. “Good is never ruthless.”

  “You threatened her family to get her to do this,” I said resignedly, sick inside.

  “Yes, of course.” She laughed and turned the witch Lisa MacForly’s head and body into ash even as she scorched away the blood from the floor. “People will wonder what became of you. No one can see or hear you on the other side. You will become a mystery of sorts as you suffer over the years.” She started to walk away, but apparently couldna resist as she turned back to me, and her lip lifted in a sneer. “No one defies me.”

  I watched her go with only one thought in mind. I would escape and destroy her once and for always. I would hone in m’skills…and I would find a way out of here…

  Allora dinnae know all there was to know about magic spells, light or dark. She dinnae realize that a witch with the power to enact such a spell, has a bloodline that can follow through. Och aye, but I knew it! M’studies, m’work looking for a cure for m’vampirism, had delivered me into the world of the occult. The poor witch had a daughter in the States. Aye then…hope was still alive, and I would find a way out of this realm and find Allora and finish her once and for always.

  Allora also dinnae realize that m’darlin’ bride had an immortal warlock brother—Jeremy.