Love Me ~ Without Regret

by Renee Kennedy

  “Go out, Clay. I don’t want you to see me undress,” Megan orders me.

  “It’s a little too late for all of that, don’t you think?”

  “At least turn around.”

  I turn around. I don’t want to look at her anyway. I’d much rather look at all the posters on the wall of the different stages of pregnancy.

  I hear Megan finishing up and Jenie helps her on the table. The crinkle of paper alerts me to Megan covering up and I turn. We all stare at each other in awkward silence, and I am thankful when there’s a knock on the door.

  “Come in.” Megan says.

  “Awe, how are the moms today?” The doctor says, opening the door. He looks over at me and pauses, “Ah, who do we have here?”

  “I’m the baby’s father, sir. I recently learned that Megan was pregnant. I plan to take full responsibility for my child.” I extend my hand to him. “I’m Clay Wilson.”

  He doesn’t look too impressed with me.

  “Do you have help? Being a single parent is hard. I’m not saying it isn’t doable, but you’re awfully young,” he says.

  This pisses me off a little, “I have a great support system, sir. I have a wonderful family that is very close. They will all help raise him. They don’t say it takes a village for nothing.”

  Jenie gets tearful and excuses herself from the room.

  The doctor looks at Megan then back at me. He picks up her file from the counter, opens it, and thumbs through it. He makes a notation, clicks his pen, and gives Megan a suspicious glare.

  He walks to the sink, washes his hands then reaches into a box of gloves and takes out a couple. He puts them on one at a time with a snap. “Megan, go ahead and put your feet in the stirrups and move your bottom to the edge of the table.” He walks to the door and sticks his head out, “Lisa, we’re ready for her exam.”

  The nurse comes in and stands with a clipboard while he does an internal exam, which looks very uncomfortable. He tells Megan the baby has dropped and is in position. The nurse scribbles notes. The rest of the appointment is filled by the doctor giving Megan instructions regarding what to expect when labor approaches and when to notify him of her condition.

  He takes off his gloves, throws them away, and walks over to the sink again. While he washes his hands, he thanks Lisa for her help.

  “How much longer do you think she has to go?” I ask him.

  “With her being thirty-seven weeks, she could deliver any day now. Have you done your pre-registration with the hospital, Megan? Have your overnight bag packed?” He gives her a warm smile, offering her his hand to help her sit up.

  “Yes, I did all of that last week like you suggested.”

  “Megan, Clay, if you need me before next week, please call the office.” He leaves the office with tightly drawn lips.

  “Clay, step out and let me get dressed.”

  I step out of the room to make her happy and to simply keep the peace. I lean up against the wall waiting on her to finish up, which she’s apparently taking her sweet time doing. I take out my cellphone and notice I have a missed message from Lizzie.

  Lizzie: Hey.

  I quickly send her a reply.

  Clay: Hey, Babe.

  I hate I missed a text from her. I’d turned my phone on silent before entering the building.

  Lizzie: What are you doing?

  Clay: Not much, what about you?

  Lizzie: Driving.

  Clay: Quit texting and driving.

  My phone rings, “Hey, Babe,” I whisper.

  “Why are we whispering?” Lizzie whispers back.

  The sound of amusement in her voice brightens my day, “I’m in the hallway at Megan’s obstetrician’s office.”

  “Oh sorry, I had no idea you were doing that. I don’t want to intrude. I’ll talk to you later.” The tone of her voice falls a couple of octaves.

  “You’re not, Babe. The appointment is over. I stepped out so she could get dressed. Where are you off to?”

  “I’m on my way to visit a friend.”

  “Anyone I know?”

  “Maybe.” She gives a soft laugh.

  “Who are you going to hang out with, Tink?”

  “Actually this is a new friend.”

  “I hope you have a good time with your new friend.” I’m not positive, but I think she is teasing me a little.

  “I’m sure we will. This is my first time to see her, but Gloria and I’ll have a nice time.”

  “Gloria? I don’t know any friend of yours named Gloria.” Now she has me confused.

  Megan opens the door, “You’re still here? I figured you would have left by now.” She rolls her eyes.

  “Can I call you back in a few minutes?” I ask Lizzie.

  “That’s fine. That’ll give you time to think about if you know my friend Gloria.” She laughs.

  Lizzie and I say our goodbyes as I follow Megan up to a little sliding window.

  A lady in scrubs opens the window, “Okay, Miss Megan, is same time next week good for you, hon?” Her fingers are flying across the keyboard.

  “I suppose it will have to do.” Megan lets out a long exaggerated sigh.

  “Good. We will see you then.” She shuts the window and goes about her business.

  Megan doesn’t say another word to me as she turns to waddle out to her car.

  In the parking lot, I notice Jenie standing in front of a vehicle. She appears to have composed herself. “Jenie, are you okay?” I ask as we approach her.

  “I apologize that I ran out of there like I did. Megan, I can’t be here and do this now. I know I said I would be in the delivery room, but I don’t think I can. It's wrong for me to be in the delivery room with you, knowing the little fella has a daddy who wants to raise him. Besides, it will hurt like a bitch being there through the whole ordeal and not being able to take him home.” Jenie reaches up and wipes away a single tear. She walks around and gets into the driver’s side of the car.

  “I guess Jenie is giving up on being the momma. She’s a much better woman than I am. He is yours, Clay. I hope you’re happy. Oh, you need to come up with $25,000 to pay Jenie back, like today.” She stomps off and gets in the car with Jenie.

  Bitch.

  I already told Jenie I would pay her back. Megan simply wants to have the last word. Jenie doesn’t have to do much to be a better woman than Megan.

  What is her problem with me having my kid? I treated her well while we were dating. We really weren’t all that serious, but when she told me she was pregnant, I wanted all of that to change.

  I watch them drive off, more confused now than I’ve ever been in my life.

  I reach in my pocket for my phone to call my woman back, “Hey, I’m back. Sorry, I had to cut our conversation short.”

  “No worries. Are you all done with Megan?” Lizzie asks.

  “Yeah, I’m all done.”

  “I’m almost to Gloria’s. What are you up to next?”

  “I’m going to check in with John to see if there is any progress on his end. Plus, I need to let him know what happened with the lady who was wanting to adopt.”

  “Wanting to adopt? Does that mean she doesn’t want to anymore?”

  “I think so, but Megan is still being a bitch so I don’t know what to do, Lizzie. I’m ready for him to be born so I can bring him to Alabama. I hope I never have to lay my eyes on that bitch again as long as I live.”

  “Clay, a baby needs his mom and his dad.”

  “Don’t you think I know that, Babe? Megan never wanted him in the first place. She’d be shit for a mom anyway. He and I will make it just fine until the time comes for…” I don’t want to finish that sentence until I know where things are with Lizzie and me.

  “I’m sorry, I know this is hard on you. I wish there was something I could do to make it better.”

  “You talking to me again helps, Lizzie. Not having you in my life for almost a week was like being trapped in a raging inferno. If you really wanted to
help, though, I could think of ways. Are we good? Have we moved past my fuck up? I want nothing more than to be us again. I miss you in my arms and my bed.” My dick goes to a full salute simply thinking about things I would rather be doing with her right now.

  “I think we can move past all of the drama. If only I wasn’t out of town for a long weekend.”

  “Where does your friend live?”

  “She lives in Brentwood.” Lizzie lets out a tiny giggle.

  “Brentwood, you say?” I’m liking this better and better. Brentwood is on the outskirts of Nashville and now I know her friend is GG.

  “Mmm huh. That’s right.”

  “Where are you right now? I’m on my way.” I say.

  She laughs, “I’m pulling up in GG’s driveway. Isn’t that where you’re staying?”

  “Not this weekend, this weekend I’m in a hotel so I can make you scream.” I growl.

  “You're bad, but I like it,” Lizzie snickers.

  “Good, ya want to meet me at the hotel?” Please say yes!

  “No, I’m going in to visit GG. She’s expecting me.”

  “How long will that take?” Nnhnn!

  “Clay!”

  “What?” She can’t be surprised that I want to be alone with her.

  “We will have all weekend together.”

  I bet she just rolled her eyes.

  “We have a lot of lost time to make up for, so hurry up.”

  “What’s my reward if I hurry?” Lizzie says.

  Her sultry voice has me wanting her already, “Anything you want.”

  “Mmmm.” Lizzie pauses, “I’ve got to go inside now. Are you coming over here to whisk me away?”

  “If that’s what you want, Baby. I’ll be there.”

  thirteen

  Lizzie

  GG insisted we stay for dinner, which was scrumptious. “GG, are you a recipe Nazi?” She makes some of the most delicious food and I would love to learn how to cook some of these recipes. Clay always eats like it’s his last meal when GG cooks, and I want to be able to cook for him like that.

  “What in Heavens is a recipe Nazi? I’ve never in my life heard of one of those and I’ve been around restaurants forever.” She stops with her fork midway to her mouth.

  “Oh, I thought that was a real thing, but I guess Granny just made it up for women who wouldn’t share their recipes with her.” I laugh.

  “I would love to meet her. Clay has told me so much about her. The answer to your question, Lizzie, is yes and no. I don’t share my recipes with everyone because most of them I use in my restaurant, but I do share with my family. Is there something that you would like the recipe for?” GG looks tickled pink.

  “I guess recipe saboteur isn’t a real thing either then?” I grin at her.

  “I’ve known a few of them in my days, but I’d never do that to you.” She beams.

  Clay pipes in, “She needs the recipe for your Shrimp and Grits Casserole, I know that. How about your Red Beans and Rice, and oh, your Mexican Lasagna?”

  “I thought this was about the recipes Lizzie wanted, not what Clay wants Lizzie to cook for him.” GG cackles.

  Seems like the way to GG’s heart is to love her cooking. She evidently likes taking care of all the guys in the band and has apparently been missing it.

  “I guess those are the ones I want, but I also want your cornbread recipe. My friend Bailey can’t make cornbread worth a flip, and I really want to rub it in her face if I can master it.” I rub my hands together.

  “Are you two in a competition of sassy girls cook or something, Babe?” Clay nudges me.

  “Hey, I think it’s great that you want to learn to cook,” GG says. “Before you head back to Alabama, I will show you my secrets for perfect cornbread. That is if Clay will leave you alone long enough.”

  “Thank you, I sure wish you lived closer, GG. Granny has gotten down and can’t cook anymore and her recipes aren’t in measurements. She says you put that much and will show you in a bowl, or you add milk until it feels right. I need an exact scale. Cooking is like a science to me and I need a formula.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that, hun, I’ll tell you what. I’ll take a weekend off to come down there and give you a few cooking lessons. I’ll let you decide whether or not we let Bailey join in.” GG’s eyes twinkle.

  “That sounds great, GG, but if we are going to come back over before we leave, I need to be getting this girl back to the hotel,” Clay tells her.

  “Clayton Wilson!” I feel the heat as it rises from my neck to my face. I hit his forearm.

  “What? Do you think she doesn’t know we have sex?”

  I will murder him in his sleep. “Do you have to announce it like it’s a big achievement? GG, I’m going to stay here with you and let him go to the hotel by himself.”

  “Oh no, you’re not. That boy has been moping around here miserable without you. If you don’t go with him then he stays here, and I go. I might know what you do, but these are thin walls and I don’t want to hear any of it.”

  We all laugh and say our goodbyes. GG and I make plans for my lesson before I go home.

  We get to the hotel in record time. Clay insisted we leave my car at GG’s and take the one he’s been driving. After getting us a room, he speed walks us to the elevator.

  “Is it a cliché that I want to fuck you in the elevator?” He pushes me up in the corner once we’re inside the elevator.

  “It probably is one.” I kiss him, nipping at his lips and then licking them. “I do hate to remind you of your bathroom casualty, but things tend to get out of hand when you try to get adventurous.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yep,” I say, popping my ‘p’ for emphasis.

  “We’ll see about that, little Miss Feisty Britches. You might get more than you can handle, little girl.”

  I bust out laughing, “Did you seriously just say that I might get more than I can handle? You.” I poke him in his chest. “Haven’t. Seen. Anything. Yet. Little Boy, and when I’m finished with you, you’ll be begging for mercy.”

  “I think I just came in my pants, Lizzie. That was hot, Baby. You drive me crazy when you talk to me that way.”

  Thankfully, the elevator dings and the door opens on our floor. Clay takes me by the hand, pulling me down the hallway in a trot. I love that he’s excited to be with me.

  Clay opens the door and wastes no time in pushing me against it once it closes. “I’m going to do you right here, Babe. Your pussy… or your ass…?” He raises my skirt and sees I’m not wearing panties. “Holy fuck, if I’d had known you were going commando, we would have screwed in the elevator.” He unbuttons his jeans as he’s kicking off his athletics shoes. He pushes down his jeans and underwear at the same time.

  “I didn’t say no, did I? You can have me anywhere you want me as long as you always want me.”

  “How could you ever think I didn’t want you?” He pushes into me with one quick thrust. “Do you not feel every inch of me wanting you, Baby? I’m only wanting you like I’ve never wanted anyone in my whole life.”

  I am hypnotized by his eyes.

  He lifts me, placing me on his hips.

  I wrap my legs around him as he keeps up the pounding of his hips.

  My hand trembles as I put my thumb on my clit. I instantly tighten around him, “Ah God!” I cry out.

  With a hiss of pleasure, he grips my hips and thrusts once more, “You feel so good, Baby. You’re always so tight and perfect. We were apart way too long, Babe.” He groans out with his own release. Pressing me a little firmer into the wall, he pulls out of me. He holds me there, placing his forehead on mine.

  “I love you, Clay. I love you so much.” I brush my lips against his.

  He carries me to the bed and lays me down. Slowly, he removes my shoes. While he’s bent down, he takes one of my legs in his hands, and right above my ankle, he lazily licks a trail up the inside of my leg. He stops a couple of inches above my knee and moves t
o the other one.

  Tingles run through the core of my body the closer to my center he gets. He’s finally close enough that I can reach his hair, I run my fingers through it. When his tongue does a feather light dance on the apex of my thighs, I grip his hair and pull it while my back reflexively arches. He blows softly where he’d licked, giving me goose bumps.

  “Kiss me right here.” I direct his head over to the center. “Then you can lick every inch of me.” I move against his tongue.

  With the tip of his velvety tongue, he dips into my pussy and gives it tiny flutters, driving me crazy for wanting more. He’s very gifted.

  Laying here is so hard. My ass flexes, my toes stretch, and I bite my lip to keep from screaming. Damn, he’s the master.

  “Baby, I love the taste we make together.” Clay moves up and kisses me deep.

  I suck on his tongue so I can taste us, too. “Mmm, we do taste good.”

  Clay moves back down and sucks on my clit while he moves one finger inside of me. He uses his tongue to explore every inch like I instructed him to do. He adds another finger, pumping them into me faster. He returns his tongue to my clit, slurping and sucking on it.

  I feel the pulsation in my core as I tingle all over, I grip the sheets and thrust my hips. “Oh fuck me, Clay!”

  He removes my clothes and his shirt and crawls up my body like a lion on the prowl. I’m his prey, but I’m a willing prey.

  “Spread your legs wide for me, sweet darling. Your body is mine tonight,” Clay whispers in my ear then licks my neck right below my ear and traces my jawline. “Now, I’m going to fuck you till you can’t walk! Are you ready, Baby?”

  “Give it to me. Faster! Deeper! Harder! I want it all.” I lift my legs off the bed and spread them almost into the splits.

  And that he does. Faster! Deeper! And Harder! Until we are both glistening with sweat and gasping for air.

  “Holy shit, Clay! Maybe we should fight more often.” I tell him as I try to catch my breath.