Insolita Luna

by M. J. O'Shea

  “CHARLIE? YOU want some tea?” Xan poked his head into the greenhouse. I was lying in our bed under the two ficus trees, pretending to read a chapter of Henry James’s Washington Square. Mainly, I was thinking and absently running my fingers over the wound on my shoulder that was still sore.

  “I’m okay. Thanks for asking, though.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been up here all morning, and you haven’t had anything to eat yet.”

  I stuck my hand out to Xan. “C’mere.” He put his own tea down and came over to me. I pulled him down on the bed, shoving Henry James onto the floor next to us. “I love you.” I kissed him softly on the tip of his nose. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

  “I love you too. I’m just worried. You’ve been acting different the past few days.”

  I pushed his hair back from his face and dropped a few more small kisses on his cheeks and his neck before nipping at his lower lip. “Don’t be worried. I’m fine. It’s just… reality set in a little, ya know? I’ve been thinking.”

  “About what?” Xan looked immediately worried.

  I cupped his face. “Nothing bad. I don’t know how to say this without sounding like I’m whining….” I smiled ironically. I’d whined so much before and rarely stopped to think of how immature I sounded. “I guess, well, my whole purpose for living, the purpose the dryads have been preparing for since lord knows when, was to get rid of Komarov.”

  “You did get rid of him. He’s gone. Is it feeling anticlimactic?”

  I shook my head. “That’s just the thing. You had to help me. If you hadn’t thrown me that knife, I don’t know if I’d still be here. Are the Fitzgeralds supposed to need help?”

  Xan shrugged. “The dryad protector is there for a reason. And if you thought I’d stand back and watch some asshole kill you when I could help….”

  “I guess it makes sense. I killed him and you helped me. But that’s not the worst part. I’ve been having nightmares, and these awful flashbacks to him dying. It’s been freaking me out, like, a lot. I guess my family’s right. I’m probably not hunter material. It kind of changes how I see my future, ya know?”

  Xan shook his head. “First of all, you can’t judge yourself by one fight. Komarov was a pretty big badass, you’re green, and you know as well as I do that your family didn’t prepare you for this. You did amazingly well with the little bit of training you have had. Plus, you’ve never watched anyone or anything die before. That had to be rough. If you want to hunt, then you’ll hunt.”

  “I’m not sure I—”

  Xan held up his hand. “Second, if you are thinking it might not be for you, that’s not a big deal. I’m not a hunter. Just because you’re not doing what your family does, that doesn’t make you less of a person.”

  I sighed and curled into Xan’s body. I inhaled long and slow. Somehow, his scent had always made me calm, made the world feel right. It was even more noticeable lately.

  “I know,” I mumbled into his neck. “It’s just weird to think that the one thing I thought I wanted my whole life might not be what I want.”

  “What do you want now?” he asked. His hand worked its way up and down my spine, massaging tenderly. I loved him so much for it.

  “I want you. I want to be happy. Other than that?” I shrugged.

  “Well, you’re only eighteen. I think you have some time to figure the rest out.”

  I sat up slowly and pulled my sweater and my T-shirt off. The little pellet stove had been burning all morning, and the greenhouse was getting pretty hot—at least, it seemed that way to me.

  “You warm? I can bank the fire.”

  “Mm-hm. But it’s fine. Don’t get up.”

  I wriggled back into his arms and got my nose right up against the skin of Xan’s neck. The heat made his smell even more intense. I loved it. “Mine,” my body told me when I smelled him. He smells like mine. I nipped his neck possessively.

  “What was that for?” he asked with a soft laugh.

  “I dunno. Just wanted to bite.”

  “Umm, Charlie?” Xan tried to sit up a little.

  “Shh. Let’s take a nap. I bet everyone’s going to be up late tonight, and I want to do something fun. It’s been so serious lately.”

  A LITTLE while later, Xan moved us so he could pull the comforter over our bodies. He must’ve been cold. I was still warm from the residual fire heat, but I went under the blankets so I could stay wrapped around him. I drowsed, not wanting to think about everything—hunting, or not hunting, or how I was going to be a regular kid in the midst of vampires and lycans, and even my boyfriend who was special in so many ways. I kinda hated to be so damn ordinary. My parents sure didn’t seem to feel like it was good for me to be with Xan.

  I didn’t care, even if it sucked that Komarov’s juice didn’t make me into something I wanted to be. I wasn’t going to give up Xan. I loved him way too much. I’d loved him my whole life, in one form or another, and now that we’d been together together, it would’ve been impossible to go back. We’d work it out somehow. I just had to figure that part out.

  I must have fallen all the way to sleep, because it was dark when I woke to my phone buzzing somewhere in the vicinity of my face. I fumbled for it and hit answer.

  “Mmmph.” It wasn’t the most articulate greeting, but it worked for me.

  “What are you guys doing? We’ve just been hanging around, but we have to get ready and go if we’re going to make the nine o’clock movie.” Zack’s voice was a little too cheerful, piercing my lazy mood.

  “What movie?”

  “We were going to see Whitehall House, remember? That ghost thing?”

  I sat up and shook my head. I’d been sleeping so deeply. I never slept like that.

  “’Kay. I’ll wake Xan up, and we’ll be down in a few to get changed.”

  I hung up and dropped my phone back on the comforter. “Babe, wake up.” I probably didn’t have to bite my way down Xan’s spine to wake him up, but his smell permeated the air. I couldn’t help myself. He shivered and rolled over. I loved how he slept on his stomach if we happened to drift apart in our sleep.

  “What time is it?” he asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

  “Time to get ready if we’re going to that movie with Zack and Noah.”

  “Can I get Junior Mints?” he asked hopefully.

  I stood and pulled him out of bed. “Sure. Let’s go get changed.”

  THE NEXT morning, I woke up in bed all hot and sweaty again. I’d flung the covers away but was still clinging to Xan with my nose right up against his neck and my hand cupping him. It was so possessive how I’d been holding him the past few days. Xan rolled over to his side and pulled me so I was draped across his back, with his ass pulled right up against my crotch and my face against his shoulder. I pulled him closer and rubbed against his crack. I wanted in. I always wanted in.

  “Wake up,” I whispered.

  “Like I was asleep with that iron rod poking me,” he muttered sarcastically. I pinched his nipple.

  “I want you,” I whispered in his ear.

  “Mmm. Yes, please.” He leaned over to retrieve the lube from where we’d stashed it the last time. Xan opened it and squeezed a generous dollop into my hand. I spread it on myself and him, then gently delved between his cheeks to rub at his entrance. I leaned over to suck on his neck. His skin was tender and warm—he tasted like home.

  “Love you,” I whispered before pushing in slowly with two of my fingers. My hands were small, and Xan took my fingers easily.

  “More,” he groaned. “Love you too.”

  “You want me inside?” I would’ve never thought that either of us would be talkers in bed, but somehow that’s how it was between us. I loved it.

  “Yes, babe. Yes.” That one word was drenched with so much heat it nearly melted the glass of our greenhouse room. I guided myself to Xan’s entrance and pushed, slowly but inexorably, until I was buried to the root in his body.

  “So
good,” he moaned. “We feel so good.”

  I shuddered against his back and went back to sucking on his neck as I started to thrust. Xan’s hand covered mine where it rested on his stomach, and he linked our fingers together and squeezed hard every time I pushed all the way into him. I changed the angle of my hips and thrust again, bringing our joined hands down to touch him.

  “I want you to come,” I breathed in his ear. I stroked him and pushed into his body over and over until I felt him start to shake.

  “So close,” he moaned. “I need it. Harder, babe, please.”

  I stroked him faster with my hands and sped up my hips too, faster and faster until the moment when I began to spin out of control. In that second, I clamped down with my teeth into the meaty part of his shoulder and came so hard I blacked out.

  When my vision cleared, I realized Xan had cried out, and not necessarily in pleasure, and there were thin rivulets of blood dripping down his back.

  “I’m so sorry!” I stared at the bleeding bite mark in horror. What’s wrong with me?

  “It’s okay. You didn’t mean to.” Of course, Xan was understanding. Sweet. Perfect. Sometimes I wondered if I really deserved him.

  But he was right. I didn’t mean to do it. I hadn’t consciously thought I really want to bite the hell out of my boyfriend when we’re…. My face turned red. It had been instinct. Something in my body told me that I needed to bite him to… oh, fantastic.

  “What just happened?” I asked. I had a weird feeling I already knew the answer to that question. “Did I turn you?”

  Xan cocked his head to the side like he always did when he was deciding how to say something. “No, you didn’t turn me. My blood is too strong. It will reject the lycan genes. But I think… I think you just claimed me as your mate.” He reached forward and took my hand gently. “And I also think you might need to talk to PC.”

  “YOU CAN’T be serious.” PC’s reaction was typical him, but it didn’t make me feel any better.

  “What do you mean? I bit him. When we were… you know.” I knew my face was red. I could feel it.

  “Yeah, I got it, thanks. You freaking claimed him. But that means—”

  “It means that more of Komarov’s DNA got into him than we originally thought,” Noah mused. “Is there a possibility that he’ll display some lycan characteristics but not all? I mean, it’s been days, and this is the only thing that’s happened.”

  PC shook his head slowly. “I’m pretty sure that’s impossible.”

  “Wait.” It was me they were talking about. I needed to be certain I understood the implications. “If I can’t only display some traits, then does that mean I might be—”

  “Turning into a lycan,” PC finished. He sighed. “Unless I’m wrong, and I’m almost certain I’m not, then you’ll be one of us eventually. Welcome to the family, man. Lycans suck.” PC rolled his eyes.

  After a few nervous giggles and a short-startled silence, the room burst into talking. Noah and Zack, Miles, even my brother started asking questions, gesturing, all speaking at once. I held Xan’s hand and sat on the couch, worried and nervous and sure that whatever I’d done, it was the wrong thing.

  “Guys, Jesus!” Amanda finally exclaimed, loud enough to be heard over the din. “Can’t you see you’re freaking him out?”

  “I’m fine,” I said quickly.

  “You seem freaked out.”

  “Hey,” Colin said quietly before he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Let him process.”

  My brother stared at me quietly, assessing. He honestly looked worried for once instead of righteously annoyed. It was a welcome change. After the other day, I hoped things started to change even more between us. I was done being treated like a moron.

  “So… what’s going to happen to me?” I looked up at PC.

  He shrugged. “It’s going to be slow. You got a light dose of his saliva, so light we all assumed nothing would come of it. It obviously is working now, but it could take weeks. It’s hard to tell.”

  “And when it does happen?”

  “You’ll be a wolf—a lycan. You’ll learn to change when you need to, not when you get pissed and react. Even for born lycans, that’s not easy. You’ll probably notice that you’re warm, even when it’s cold out.”

  I nodded. “I think that’s already happening.”

  “Your body temperature is rising. We’re hotter than humans. And obviously, some of the psychological characteristics are already coming to the surface. You’ll be a bit possessive of Xan, protective of your bedroom, or wherever you two sleep.”

  “Just a bit,” Zack snorted. Miles glared at him and put a protective hand on PC’s lower back.

  “You’ll be more nocturnal, like the rest of us, and you’ll get really into your naps. Naps are awesome.”

  “What else?”

  “Um, hungry a lot? Have you noticed that? I think about food almost as much as I think about—” PC broke off blushing and Miles grinned.

  I nodded. I had been hungrier the past few days. I thought it was just a reaction to stress.

  “You’ll probably get butt reamed by the council since you were an accident. I’ll try to step in on as much of that as possible. Helps that you were doing their dirty work when you got bitten.”

  “Helps what?”

  “Your case. They usually destroy accidentally turned lycans. But they probably won’t do that to you.” He raised an eyebrow.

  “Probably?” I squeaked.

  PC laughed. “I was kidding. They’re not going to kill you. You’re a hero to them. They’ll just go the extra mile to make sure you get indoctrinated with their bullshit.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, enough with the boring lycan junk. You and I can do this on our own sometime. Who’s up for Red?”

  Red was the vampire bar they’d taken me and Xan to a few times. Part of me wanted to go out and have fun, and part of me wanted to go sit in my little greenhouse bedroom, stare at the night sky out of the cloudy glass, and think about the fact that I was going to be a lycan soon. A wolf. Holy effing crap.

  “MORNING, CHARLIE!” Indigo waved her hand and flipped her hair, magenta that day, back behind her. “How was your weekend?”

  I knew I could tell her, and it was a relief to be able to talk to someone outside of the group and all their opinions, but it would be hard to in a room full of students. “I’ll tell you later. You wouldn’t even believe it. Want to get coffee or something after class?”

  “Sure.” She grinned.

  I’m sure she knew it had to be good, whatever my news was. I was pretty sure that I thought it was good too. No more worrying about being ordinary. Instead, though, I was worrying about when I might freak out and turn into a wolf out of nowhere, or worse yet, bite Xan again. PC promised he’d work with me so that didn’t happen at the wrong time, but I was still nervous about it. He also said I most likely wouldn’t bite Xan again unless my claim on him was threatened. Xan assured me that would never happen.

  Being a lycan was kinda weird. Saying that being a lycan was kinda weird was even weirder. I couldn’t wait to tell my parents. I wondered how big a shit fit they’d have.

  INDIGO AND I settled in a pair of cozy chairs at Village Books, the coffee shop bookstore Miles used to work at before he was turned and couldn’t go out in the daylight. He still hung out there sometimes after dark, when he came to flip the barista crap. She was pretty much a pain in the butt, but they had some odd antagonistic friendship going on. Plus, she made the best coffee ever.

  “Okay, so what happened?” Indigo asked as soon as we were seated with our coffees and snacks. I realized I was starving. I was definitely hungry more often than I used to be, and I craved the weirdest things, like steak in the middle of the night, or pizza with all the works, like constantly. I honestly could eat most of the time, and it was getting worse. I remembered what PC had said Saturday night about thinking about food almost as much as sex. He was right. It seemed like my mind was on a constant whee
l between eating and Xan, food and wanting Xan’s legs wrapped around my waist. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have to attempt to function like a normal human being.

  Of course, I wasn’t a normal human being any longer.

  “Remember when I told you that Komarov, that lycan, bit me, but we didn’t think anything happened?”

  Indigo nodded. “Well, yeah, of course.” Little shooters of blue threaded through her hot-pink hair.

  “Indie. Your hair. It’s doing it again.”

  She rolled her eyes upward. “I still flip colors when I get excited about something. Anyway, what about the bite?”

  I shrugged. “Well, guess it worked better than we all thought.”

  “So you’re what? Like part?”

  “Nope.” I shook my head. “There is no part. I didn’t get a lot of lycan saliva, so it’s happening slowly, but soon enough I’ll be a lycan.”

  “Like an actual one? One that turns into a wolf?” Her voice raised, and her eyes flashed green, then jewel blue.

  “Shhh!” I laughed. “Yes. It hasn’t happened yet, but they’re going to work with me so I can control it once it starts.”

  “That’s so freaking cool! I’m jealous. All I have is weird-colored hair.”

  I hesitated. “You know, I bet Jason can help develop your strengths so you can do other stuff. I’m sure the color thing is linked to other powers.”

  “You think he wouldn’t mind?” she asked eagerly. “I’d love to go home this summer with some new skills.”

  “Of course. I think you’ll really like him once you get to know him better. Maybe after break sometime.”

  With all the stuff that had been happening to me lately, I couldn’t believe spring break was coming up in less than two weeks.

  “Yeah, that would be cool. You’re probably going to be busy learning how to be a lycan too—and making out with that dreamy boyfriend of yours. I wish I’d found him first, since you won’t even consider the fairer sex.”