by TL Travis
“Sorry guys,” I tried to apologize, knowing it would be another tough couple of days with Stoli yet once again. Fuck.
After the show, we took our seats at the meet and greet area and spent the next hour there. Easton came over as we stood to leave to let us know the buffet was ready and that the guys from Maiden Voyage invited us back to their hotel suites for the after party. We were stoked, this was the first time on the tour we’d been asked to hang out with them afterwards and being huge Maiden fans made the offer even sweeter. Hell, it was the first time all night I saw Stoli smile, that alone was worth going for.
We headed to the room where they had the food set up and filled our plates to the brim. I made sure to sit Lucas far enough away from Stoli to try and keep the peace as best I could, but one of these days I was going to have to let them battle it out and figure out what the fuck was going on. When the concert ended, we were bussed over to the hotel Maiden was staying at. They’d rented out the penthouse and security guards were perched at every entrance.
“Whoa dude, this is so unreal,” I whispered to Diamond.
“No shit, did you see the size of those guys?” he pointed to the security detail we’d just passed.
The guy was easily six feet four, but ten times as wide as I was. His black suit did nothing to hide the muscles trying to escape from the confines of the fabric encasing them. These guys were seriously ripped and in-fucking-timidating.
“I’m gonna do all I can to not get on their bad side.” I shivered, knowing one punch from that dude and I would be down for the count.
“Holy shit,” Lucas said behind me, “Did you see that huge piece of man meat?”
“Lucas!” I hollered at him.
“I may be taken, but I’m not blind,” he said, flipping the hair back that had fallen in front of his left eye. I noticed he’d let it return to its natural blond state, which I preferred although I was sure it was at his father’s request.
By the time we got inside the massive suite, the party was well underway. There were cases of Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan sitting in the kitchen area and trays of food were being carried throughout the crowd by the wait staff that had been hired to cater the event.
We walked up to the bar and ordered a shot of Jack each. “Here’s to us,” Stoli led putting his glass in first as we followed, clanking our glasses in a toast.
Lucas was standing behind me, sipping his gin and tonic and scanning the room. I don’t know how he drank that shit, gin was nasty, but I guess to each his own. The guys spread out, so Lucas and I took a walk around the space checking it out and ended up grabbing a seat on the balcony. Once the smokers funneled out we went back inside. The suite was packed wall to wall with bodies and shit was starting to get insane. My eyes bulged out of my head when I spotted the huge pile of coke in the center of the dining table. Every seat was taken around it as those who chose to enjoy some nose candy got more than their fill.
I slid my arm around his waist and whispered, “You okay with all this?” I’m not sure what he’d seen and if he wasn’t cool with this I was prepared for us to call it a night.
“Yeah, I’m cool,” he said before pulling away and wandering toward the kitchen. I stood there for a minute before I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“You’re Joey, right?”
I turned and found myself face to face with a man I idolized, Derek Masters. Lead singer and front man for Maiden Voyage.
“Um, yeah, yes, Joey,” I stuttered, star struck.
He laughed. “Derek.” He extended his hand.
“These parties get to be a bit much sometimes,” he said, taking a pull from the beer he had in hand.
I found my eyes clocking his every move from watching the bottle raise, to the dampness on his full lips as he pulled the bottle away. He caught me staring and winked, snapping me back before nudging me with his shoulder. “Dude, it’s cool. I’m human too.”
I nodded, still unable to find my words.
“Glad to have you guys on the tour, you’ve got a great voice.”
“I’ve got a great voice?” I kind of yelled, not meaning to but my idol just told me he liked my voice.
“Deep breath, Joey, I’m no different than you.” Thankfully he laughed, which helped me get my nerves under control.
We started talking about anything and everything. He asked me what I did to loosen my voice, seemed to be general talk amongst singers. Derek shared his insight and I found him to be really easy to talk to, but things around us started to get a little out of hand as a half-naked blonde sidled up to him and draped herself across his chest.
“Good talking to you, Joey, but,” he gestured to the boobs she all but shoved in his face, “duty calls.” They turned, heading toward one of the rooms.
I scanned the room and found Stoli chatting with a couple guys, he raised his glass to me and gestured me over, but I was looking for Lucas. Hoping we could get out of here and finish what we started earlier before Easton had interrupted us. I texted him, but hadn’t got a reply, so I continued working my way through the crowded room realizing it held more heads of blonde hair that I’d ever remembered seeing in my life. But when I found none of those heads belonged to him, nor was he out on the deck I shifted my search to checking the rooms.
The first door I opened was met with Ryder from Maiden fucking one girl doggy style while another laid under that one making out with her.
“Oh shit, sorry man,” I said, backing out of the room.
“No worries, wanna join us?” he offered.
“Ha, no I’m good, but thanks.” I couldn’t get that door shut fast enough.
Reaching for the handle on door number two, I tried my best to be prepared for what prize it held behind it but found there was nothing that could have prepared me for what I saw. The sight of Lucas completely naked, riding some random guy while jerking himself off stopped me dead in my tracks. He turned, locking eyes with me and screamed, “Get off me,” while smacking at the guy below him.
“Get off you? You stupid fucker, you’re on top of him riding him like fucking Seabiscuit,” Stoli said from beside me. I never even heard him walk up beside me. “Un-fucking-believable!” he yelled. “Get your clothes on and get the fuck out of here.”
“You can’t tell me what to do,” Lucas said, reaching for his clothes that were strewn across the floor. “Joey baby, come here. I’m sorry,” he said walking up to me, still trying to get dressed, but failing miserably at it.
Stoli put his hand out, stopping Lucas’ advance toward me.
“Get your fucking hands off me,” Lucas screamed at him.
“Get your shit and get the fuck out,” Stoli ordered through clenched teeth. “Security,” Stoli called to the guard at the door who came right over. “Get this piece of shit out of here and make sure he’s banned from the tour.”
“Joey baby?” Lucas pleaded, “he meant nothing to me.”
“That’s not what you said five minutes ago,” the naked tool on the bed chimed in.
“Not helping, dickhead,” Stoli warned him. “Get him out of here too,” he told security.
“You can’t kick me out, I’m with Maiden’s road crew.” He stood, crossing his arms in defiance, clearly not caring that his deflating dick still bore the condom he just had buried in my soon to be ex’s ass.
“He can’t, but I fucking can.” We turned, finding Derek standing beside us. “You’re fired.” He nodded to the security guard before walking away.
The commotion drew a crowd which included Diamond and Mickey as well, Diamond nudged me, handing me a bottle of Jack.
“Come on, Joey baby, tell them I can stay,” Lucas begged, now standing directly in front of me and staring at me with the blue eyes that I had once given anything to, but now I found only disgusted me.
“Don’t ‘Joey baby’ me,” I told him, taking a swig from the bottle in my hand. “Get the fuck out and lose my number while you’re at it. We’re through,” I told him before walking
away.
When the guys found me, I was sitting on a chair on the balcony with my feet on the railing, draining the bottle Diamond had given me moments before.
“Man, you alright?” Stoli asked, pulling up a chair beside me.
Diamond and Mickey followed suit. I loved these guys, if one of us hurt we all hurt and right fucking now, I was dying on the inside.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am that we never went bareback.” I chugged the rest of the bottle down.
“At least the now unemployed idiot he was fucking had the foresight to wear a condom.”
We laughed at Mickey’s comment, but sadly, my laugh was short lived.
“Someone wanna grab me another bottle?” As if on cue, Derek appeared and handed me a fresh one.
“You okay, man?” His care and concern blew me away.
“Thanks.” I took the bottle, peeling the plastic seal off and uncapping it. “Not yet, but I will be.” I held the bottle up in cheers before taking a swig.
“We’ve got the whole floor to ourselves. I asked security to set you guys up in one of the rooms, I hope that’s okay?” Derek informed us.
“Yeah man, thanks,” Stoli told him. “I’ll get Easton to have a runner bring our bags over.” He pulled his phone out and shot off a quick text.
“You gonna hog that bottle or you gonna share it?” Diamond asked me.
I passed it over and they each took a swig.
“Stoli,” I asked without turning to look at him. “You were telling me the truth when you said you saw him blowing that guy before, huh?”
Here we were at a jam packed after party, yet that question seemed to stop everything for us figuratively of course. Like it was just the four of us out here alone and we weren’t surrounded by tons of people.
“I’ve never lied to you, Joey.”
Those six words hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt like the biggest fucking asshole in the world. I’d let Lucas come between us and chose him over Stoli. I can’t believe he doesn’t fucking hate me.
“I love you man,” he said grabbing my shoulder.
“I love you too, brother. All you guys, you’re my boys and you tried to warn me and well, fuck,” frustrated with myself, I roughly ran my fingers through my hair, “I should have listened.”
One of the servers came out with a tray of meats and cheeses. “Here, shhh, I’m gonna give you guys the whole tray.” She sat it on the patio table, smiled and walked back inside. All the while Diamond’s eyes were plastered to her ass.
“See something you like?” Mickey teased.
Diamond licked his lips and followed her inside.
“Good luck,” Mickey hollered, “Ah, something to help absorb the alcohol,” he chided, trying to lighten the mood before we dug in.
“Here you go.” Diamond sat three more bottles of Jack down on the table before taking his seat.
“We thought you went to get some strange,” Stoli said to him.
“Nah, it’s band time. No outsiders allowed,” Diamond said, looking right at me.
These guys, man, words escaped me. No truer friends would ever be found.
“Tonight, we forget about all this bullshit and drink to brotherhood,” Stoli announced.
“To brotherhood,” the three of us chimed in, holding the bottles up.
We sat and drank for so long that until we stood, we hadn’t realized how much we’d had. Security flanked us, directing us away from the balcony railings and across the hall to the room Maiden had given us for the night. Somehow, we managed to strip down before passing the fuck out.
Chapter
Fourteen
Someone’s relentless pounding on the door was what woke us the next morning. I couldn’t remember being this drunk in like, forever. My head was throbbing, Stoli was bitching, Diamond was still snoring, and Mickey ran for the bathroom like his ass was on fire.
Stoli answered the door in his boxers to find Easton standing on the other side. “I’d say good morning, but based upon how you look,” he scanned Stoli from head to toe, “I’d say it was probably a better night.” He walked around him and entered the room.
As he passed the bathroom, he was met with the sounds of Mickey vomiting and praying to the porcelain God, “Just kill me now.”
We thought it was funny, but Easton seemed to have left his humor at the door.
“So aside from Mickey, how is everyone feeling this morning?” Easton asked us, eyeing each face in turn.
“Ugh, like shit. How do you think we feel?” a grouchy Stoli answered.
“Crap, what are we going to do about our social media stuff?” I asked having just remembered Lucas managed that for us. I really let the guys down this time.
Stoli and Easton looked at each other before Easton spoke, “Don’t worry about that, we’ve got it handled. Thankfully, I had the foresight to get the logins and passwords from Lucas some time ago. All of which I reset last night so he’s locked out of each account.”
“Who was Social Sinners Shadow that was posting as well? Wasn’t Lucas just Social Sinners?”
“I’m Social Sinners Shadow.” I seemed to be the only one surprised by Stoli’s declaration.
“What? Are you taking over our social media then?”
“It’s being handled. Now, we hit the road today. I brought up each of your bags last night so shower and meet me on the bus in an hour. I’ll have an uber waiting downstairs for you in forty-five minutes,” Easton said before leaving.
Mickey had just emerged, looking like total dog shit.
“Great,” Easton sneered after assessing him before closing the door behind him. Clearly not pleased with any of us.
I felt like shit myself, not so much from the drinking – although the hangover I had wasn’t helping matters any. But more so from the reality of what my relationship with Lucas fucked up for the band. You fucked up, Joey, big time. I knew my self-loathing was only going to worsen as the days passed.
Once we boarded the bus, I hid inside the confines of my bunk. The last time I was in here, Lucas was with me. Fuck, I wanted a drink bad. At least when I was drunk the pain went away. I needed to text my dad and let him know what happened, which he’d probably be happy about. All these years, no one ever warmed to Lucas, yet I continued to walk around with blinders on.
How many guys did he fuck when I wasn’t around? No wonder I couldn’t ever get ahold of him. I’m so fucking stupid.
I heard the other guys jump in their bunks before the bus rolled out. After grabbing my iPod and shoving my earbuds in, I cranked up the volume and shut everything out around me and drifted off.
A couple hours later I surfaced and emptied my bladder before going to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. I saw Easton passed out on the couch with his laptop perched on top of his chest. I took a bag of chips out of the cabinet and buried myself back inside the cocoon of my nook away from home. When I looked around inside it, the pictures of Lucas including my favorite selfie of us lying in bed looking up at the camera, hit me hard. I ripped them down with such force the tack board came down with it.
“Shit,” I mumbled louder than I’d intended.
“Everything okay down there?” Stoli whispered from his bunk above, the other guys were still soundly snoring.
“No,” I groaned, roughly rubbing the palms of my hands against my eyes.
Stoli pulled back the curtain around my bunk, assessing the situation before taking the tack board out of my hand and plopping down beside me.
“I really fucked things up between us, didn’t I?” I asked, but couldn’t face him. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on his face.
“It’s all good,” he said, but I knew it wasn’t.
“Wanna listen to some tunes?” I asked, holding up one side of my earbuds to him in the hopes of changing the subject. I needed the comfort of my best friend in a bad way.
“Sure.” He slid the tack board under my bunk before scooting up beside me, sharing space like old t
imes. Having him near me calmed me enough that I eventually fell back to sleep.
When we woke, it was to Easton’s voice alerting us that we’d arrived in Denver. Our next show wasn’t until tomorrow night, but we were starving and decided to head to a nearby pizza joint. Afterwards, we went back to the bus and vegged out playing Call of Duty online until everyone had had enough and called it a night. Easton managed to set up the pull-out couch to sleep on this time and the bus driver crashed on the couch opposite him.
Things were calm, for the moment, but when the guys started pairing off at the party after the Denver show, I once again found myself drowning my sorrows with my good friend Jack. Jealous that they had someone even just for the night and I had nothing. Maiden had a room for us so this time we came with bags in hand to avoid abusing Easton any more than we already did. Jack and I headed to our room, grabbing a second bottle on the way out the door and I noticed the guards were clocking my every move, so I didn’t deviate from my path. But it irked me that I was being watched. I sat in the hotel room, flipping between mindless tv stations and drinking myself into oblivion.
I had no idea when the guys came to bed, but when I woke the next morning I found I’d somehow stripped down to my boxers before I’d passed out. The guys were still sleeping so I slinked out of bed and into the shower, letting the hot water beat the alcohol out of me while wallowing in self-pity.
The more I drank, the more the guys ignored me, or was I ignoring them? I divided my time between writing songs, drinking alone and performing. I’d even stopped going to the after parties, opting to be alone in the cocoon I’d wrapped myself in.
One day during a sound check, I shared the lyrics for the song Black I’d written with the guys. As I started reciting the lyrics, Stoli came up and snatched them from my hand reading them aloud:
I know that look in your eyes
It came as no surprise that you were leaving
I should have listened when they said
Your love was all but dead
There’s no believing in you anymore
In you
