A Daughter's Secret

by Anne Bennett

  ‘He loves you.’

  ‘So he says.’

  ‘He does,’ Molly insisted. ‘Anyone with half an eye could see it. It’s in every line of his body, and especially in his eyes when he looks at you.’ She saw that her aunt was uncomfortable and she said, ‘You’re not enjoying this, are you? It is embarrassing you even to talk about how Paul feels.’

  ‘I am not used to it,’ Aggie said. ‘I was never encouraged to talk of feelings. I mean, most of what I used to feel for the punters was revulsion.’

  ‘You said you loved the man who had the club – Levingstone, was it?’

  Aggie sighed. ‘I did, and when he died, God, it was terrible. I knew it was my fault in a way. I never felt that way for anyone again – never let myself, I suppose, if the truth is told. The pain of loss was too great too bear, and always at the back of my mind was Finch and his viciousness if I had become involved with anyone.’

  ‘But he is gone now,’ Molly said gently. ‘You are free.’

  Aggie shook her head. ‘It’s a habit I have got into over the years,’ she said. ‘It is too late for me.’

  ‘I don’t believe that for one minute,’ Molly said. ‘Tell me, do you stiffen up when Paul tries to put his arms around you?’

  ‘He never puts his arms around me,’ Aggie said. ‘I stiffen just at the thought he might.’

  ‘Does he kiss you?’

  ‘Aye, on the cheek just.’

  ‘What do you let him do?’

  ‘Hold my hand,’ Aggie said. ‘Don’t look at me like that, Molly. I am doing my best and Paul accepts this.’

  ‘No, he doesn’t.’

  ‘Molly, he does. He understands.’

  ‘Of course he understands,’ Molly said. ‘That’s because he is a lovely man, but every man expects to do more than just hold hands with the woman he loves.’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘You can,’ Molly said. She took hold of her aunt’s hand and said, ‘I am not here to bully you, but to tell you I hear all you say and empathise with it. That’s how I was with Mark, though I knew in my heart of hearts I loved him with everything in me. When I thought he was dead, my feelings sort of broke through that barrier and I was able to show my love for him fully. Finch, even from the grave, still has power over you. Break through it, Aunt Aggie, for if you do you will find a truly wonderful and fulfilling life on the other side.’

  Long after Molly had left, Aggie sat and considered her words. Molly was the only one who could truly understand her, because she had been through a frightening experience too and reacted the same way. But, she had ridden above it, overcome her fears and trepidation and wanted the same for her aunt.

  She examined her feelings for Paul. She honestly didn’t know if she loved him or not. She had pushed that emotion so far down, she didn’t know that it would ever surface again fully, but she admitted she felt something for Paul that she had not felt for any man since Levingstone. And Molly was right: now that Finch was no more, she was safe to love anyone she chose, safe to live her life in any way she wanted.

  When Paul called for her that night, she greeted him in the hallway, for Tom was eating his dinner in the kitchen and she wanted a private moment with him. She knew he wouldn’t make the first move as he would be wary of scaring her off, so as he removed his coat she steeled herself and put her arms tight around him.

  Paul was taken aback and he dropped his coat to the floor. He took Aggie in his arms as he had longed to do almost since the first time he had seen her. ‘Oh, Aggie,’ he said longingly, using her name for the first time and she felt feelings coursing through her that she had thought were buried fathoms deep and she sighed in deep contentment. It was as if she had come home at last to where she belonged.

  ‘Paul,’ she said, and the name sounded strange on her lips, though she had called him Paul in her mind from the first.

  ‘Yes, my darling?’

  ‘I think, that is, I’m almost sure, that I love you.’

  Paul was almost too choked to speak for a moment or two. Then he said gently, ‘Aggie, you have made me the happiest man in the world.’

  Aggie lifted her head and their eyes met. She saw the longing in Paul’s eyes and knew that it must be mirrored in her own. Paul, overwhelmed with love, daringly kissed her gently and was surprised and incredibly pleased when she returned that kiss with passion.

  They were unaware of Tom coming into the hall to greet Paul. He retreated rapidly to the kitchen.

  ‘They were kissing?’ Molly asked him when he told her what had happened, a few days later. ‘Really kissing?’

  ‘I’ll say. Didn’t see me in the hall, anyway. To tell you the truth, Molly, I don’t think they’d have noticed if I had run through stark naked. They had eyes only for one another.’

  ‘Oh, thank God,’ Molly said fervently.

  ‘I echo that,’ Tom said. ‘For they are two of the loveliest people to walk the earth, and if anyone deserves happiness in this life it is them two.’

  Aggie could not remember a time when she had felt happier in her whole life. She wished she had known Nuala, for her children were delightful. She had drawn even closer to Molly, and Kevin was like a breath of fresh air. She remembered Lily saying to her that she was like the daughter she had never had, she herself felt the same about Nuala’s children, and knew they loved her too, and both of them thought the world of Paul.

  Molly was right. On the other side of fear was true happiness.

  The Abbey in Erdington, the church that Molly and Kevin had once attended, was packed with family and friends all there to celebrate with Molly and Mark. Aggie, on Paul’s arm, stopped for a moment in the foyer and looked at the sea of people. Aggie saw Kevin was sitting with Ben, whom he had immediately taken under his wing, Gloria beside the two of them. She also noted the very nervous groom at the front of the church. Mark’s best man, sitting beside him, she saw was just as nervous as he was. She smiled when she saw one hand dive into the pocket of his suit, presumably to check that he still had the rings.

  Paul, seeing Aggie’s preoccupation, said, ‘Full house?’

  ‘Not half.’

  ‘Are you ready?’ he asked.

  Aggie nodded, and Paul took her arm. Immediately frissons of excitement leaped inside her. Their eyes met and Aggie felt butterflies in her stomach. Her heart began to pound and she knew suddenly, in that split second, that she loved Paul Simmons totally and completely, and that her life without him would be no life at all. She had to tell him how she felt, for she knew now her future lay with this man.

  She had no need to say anything, however, for it was written all over her face. Paul’s heart leaped and he bent down and whispered, ‘You are my own darling girl, and I love you so much. When we have this wedding done and dusted, shall we plan our own?’

  Aggie felt as if her heart would burst and she couldn’t trust herself to speak. She nodded, her smile nearly cutting her face in two. She knew when she married Paul her happiness would be complete.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  I hope that you have enjoyed this book, which is the second about the Sullivan family. In a way, this book was easier to write than most from the research side, because I had already done a lot for the previous novel, A Sister’s Promise, and the titles that would follow it, and so I knew quite a bit about the family who had their farm just outside Buncrana, in Northern Donegal.

  In another way though, this book was more difficult because it spans forty years. The Uncle Tom we meet in A Sister’s Promise is a cowed and downtrodden man, the only one left on the farm and totally under the thumb of his domineering mother. In A Daughter’s Secret we find out why he has developed the way he has, and to establish that I needed to go back to his boyhood to an incident that happened then that shaped his life. This meant I was dealing with events at the turn of the century, and so I used Donegal in Old Photograhs by Sean Beattie and Rekindling a Dying Heritage by Evelyn Ruddy.

  Tom’s problems are linked to his old
er sister, Agnes. He is the only one aware of his sister’s secret that causes her to steal away from her home in the dead of night, and he carries that burden throughout life too.

  Writing over such a long period of years is something I had never done before, and I found it challenging as well as enjoyable. Helping me keep the balance of the book, so that it stands alone and doesn’t intrude too much on A Sister’s Promise or the book of Joe and Gloria that is to come, was my fantastic editor at HarperCollins, Susan Opie. This was compounded later by the efforts of Yvonne Holland, who suggested further amendments. Without these two people, the book would be a much poorer one and so especial thanks goes to them. I’d also like to thank my agent, Judith Murdoch, who started me thinking about this series in the first place and my new publicist, Kiera Godfrey. These are my wonderful support team.

  My husband and family are also extremely important to me, and although we care greatly for each other they would have no hesitation in slapping me down if I should get above myself. Grandchildren in particular are tremendous levellers, and I have four of those.

  However I thank first and foremost my lovely husband Denis, who has now taken over the website, as my son (who started it) is just too busy to continue; my eldest daughter Nikki, her husband Steve and her gorgeous children, Briony (my eldest and only granddaughter is sixteen this year) and Kynan (who has now reached double figures!). Then there is my son Simon, his wife Carol and their fantastic little boys, Jake, who will be nine this year and who this book is dedicated to, and six-year-old Theo, the youngest of them all. Last but by no means least, there are my two younger daughters Bethany and Tamsin, who have now moved out of the house into places of their own. Thank you all sincerely for your support, understanding and consideration when deadlines have to be met.

  I would find life extremely difficult without my friends and I value them all, but I am extremely grateful to my dear friend Judith Kendal, who helps me more than she knows. I must also extend thanks to Judith Evans – now in charge of a chain of bookshops at Birmingham International Airport – who first introduced me to Peter Hawtin in the spring of 2001. I had just left Headline, after four books with them, Peter was then the Midlands Sales Director for HarperCollins, it was he who invited me to ask my agent to contact HarperCollins, with a view to joining their lists. I did just that and I signed my first contract with them in the autumn of that same year. Grateful thanks to you both. Without you, my life might have taken off in a different direction sltogether.

  However it is you the readers who give a purpose to it all. You who buy and read the books are the reason that I go up into my study every day and pound away at the computer keys, and I love it when you write and tell me what you think after you have read a book. I extend immense gratitude to each and every one of you.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Anne Bennett was born in a back-to-back house in the Horsefair district of Birmingham. The daughter of Roman Catholic, Irish immigrants, she grew up in a tight-knit community where she was taught to be proud of her heritage. She considers herself to be an Irish Brummie and feels therefore that she has a foot in both cultures. She has four children and four grandchildren. For many years she taught in schools to the north of Birmingham. An accident put paid to her teaching career and, after moving to North Wales, Anne turned to the other great love of her life and began to write seriously. In 2006, after sixteen years in a wheelchair, she miraculously regained her ability to walk.

  Visit www.annebennett.co.uk and www. Author Tracker.co.uk for exclusive updates on Anne Bennett.

  By the Same Author

  A Little Learning

  Love Me Tender

  A Strong Hand to Hold

  Pack Up Your Troubles

  Walking Back to Happiness

  Till the Sun Shines Through

  Danny Boy

  Daughter of Mine

  Mother’s Only Child

  To Have and to Hold

  A Sister’s Promise

  This novel is a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

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  This paperback edition 2008

  First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2007

  Copyright © Anne Bennett 2007

  Anne Bennett asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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  ePub edition June 2008 ISBN-9780007283576

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