Skin Deep

by Cher Carson

  Fighting back the emotion, she said, “That’s just a stupid fantasy.”

  “It doesn’t have to be,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. “You deserve that kind of love, Alana. You shouldn’t settle for anything else.”

  She gave into the temptation to wrap her arms around his waist. Having his strong arms around her again was both frightening and exhilarating. “I’m not thinking about marriage and kids right now. My first and only priority is making the dealership profitable again.”

  “And when it is?”

  “I’ll list it for sale and hope to find a buyer willing to make a fair offer and take it off our hands.” She pressed her palms into his chest, trying to push him away and pull him closer at the same time.

  He must have sensed her indecision because he linked his hands around waist, refusing to let her go. “Once you sell the dealership, what’s your plan?”

  “I’d like to resume my jewelry business.” She dipped her head, looking at the heavy gold necklace lying in the opening of his golf shirt. “And I’ve thought about what you said. I might like to work as an independent consultant, helping new start-ups.”

  “My offer still stands,” he said, brushing his lips against her cheek.

  She shuddered before giving into the urge to sink into his arms. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She hadn’t had a strong shoulder to lean on in so long.

  “God, I love the way this feels,” he whispered, his hot breath fanning the hair around her ear. “I don’t ever want to let you go, sweetheart.”

  “This is just a moment in time, Ryan,” she said, trying to find the resolve to put some distance between them so she could collect her thoughts. This was happening so fast. Within minutes of seeing him again, she wanted him.

  “It doesn’t have to be, honey,” he said, stroking her hair. “I could be that man for you, the one who puts you first, who supports you while you make your dreams come true. We could have it all.”

  She allowed herself to bask in the fantasy for a few seconds before she forced herself to quash it. “No, it would never work. You’re not the man I need.”

  His grip tightened. “Damn it, stop saying that. I can be whatever you need me to be.”

  Part of her thought he may actually believe that, but she knew in time a man with his sexual appetite would tire of being with just one woman, and he would start looking elsewhere. Just the thought of him leaving her for someone else broke her heart, and the reality would be so much worse than the nightmare if a couple of kids stood to get hurt in the process. She wouldn’t even entertain the idea. When she got her affairs in order and her new business off the ground, she would find a nice, normal guy, settle down, and maybe have that family he talked about. The voice inside her head told her she wasn’t getting any younger, but tomorrow would have to wait another day because she was too busy trying to survive today.

  “Honey, please say something…”

  She tipped her head back to look at him and was struck by the raw emotion, bordering on pain, reflected in his eyes. If she didn’t know better, she would believe he really was in love with her. “I can’t say what you want to hear, Ryan.”

  “Can we just see where things go on this trip? Will you keep an open mind?”

  She knew it was too late for that. She’d already made up her mind, but she was too tired to argue with him now. They were on their way to paradise, and for one week, she was willing to pretend that she really could be the princess in his fairy-tale.

  Chapter Seven

  Ryan arranged it so that he and Alana sat together on the plane. He smiled when she leaned her head against his shoulder, trying to find a comfortable position to claim some sleep before they landed.

  After linking his hand with hers, he brushed her knuckles against his lips.

  Her mother turned around in time to witness the display of affection and smiled at him.

  In spite of Alana’s strained relationship with her mother, he wasn’t about to alienate either of her parents. He needed all the help he could get winning her over, and if her family approved of him, he was one step closer to sealing the deal.

  He stared mindlessly at the small TV screen in front of him, but he didn’t really see the images. He was too busy planning his week. He only had seven short days to convince her that he was worth the risk. How the hell was he going to accomplish that miracle? Leaning his head against the headrest, he closed his eyes, hoping his sub-conscious would supply some brilliant solution to his dilemma.

  Alana curled into her seat, trying to get closer to him.

  He raised the armrest, pulling her into the circle of his arms.

  “Hmm, this feels nice,” she whispered, settling in.

  Nice didn’t even begin to describe it. For him, this was heaven. The woman he loved sleeping in his arms, the ability to leave their problems thousands of miles away, and all the time in the world to focus on building this relationship. He kissed the top of her head. “Get some sleep, sweetheart.” He knew she was exhausted. According to her brother, she still worked seventy plus hours every week, barely taking a moment for herself. The only comfort he found in her hectic pace was the knowledge she didn’t have time for other men, which meant he was her last lover. He remembered in vivid detail every single tremor that wracked her body that day. He’d mapped her flesh, marking every sweet spot in his mind, so he could use that knowledge to give her pleasure that exceeded her expectations every time they were together.

  “Shit,” he muttered, shifting her body weight to conceal his growing arousal. Just the thought of what he wanted to do to her was making his cock hard. “I want you now,” he whispered in her ear.

  She moaned softly in her sleep-induced haze, grinding herself against him.

  He grabbed the blanket and pillow he’d asked the flight attendant for earlier because Alana complained she always got cold on airplanes. He positioned the blanket over her, settling the pillow under her head. “I’m gonna make you come, right here, right now,” he whispered.

  She opened one eye, looking at the passengers around them. “Are you crazy?” she hissed.

  Grinning, he said, “Yeah, about you. Now shut up and close your eyes.”

  “You actually expect me to just lie here and…”

  “It’s dark now,” he whispered. “No one can see a thing. Just relax and enjoy.”

  “Ryan, I don’t think this is a good idea. What if…”

  He slipped his hand inside the waistband of her pants before she could utter another protest. God, she was already drenched. She must have been fantasizing about this while she wavered on the edge of sleep. He wanted to spread her legs wider, but he couldn’t risk the blanket slipping away, so he made do with the close confines. As he started rubbing her clit, he realized she was a terrible actress. The play of ecstasy crossing her face would have given them away had he not cupped her face, turning her toward him. “Feel good, sweetheart?” he asked, slipping a finger inside her tight pussy. He kissed her quickly, swallowing her moan as he slid another finger inside of her. He released her face to toss another pillow on her lap. “Don’t move,” he whispered.

  “Believe me, I’m not going anywhere,” she said, biting her bottom lip.

  He hadn’t gone this long without sex since he lost his virginity to his next-door neighbor at fifteen, and the sight of the woman he loved coming apart in his arms after a three-month-long dry spell was killing him. “Fuck, I’d give a year’s salary to sink inside that sweet pussy right now,” he whispered in her ear.

  “Maybe we could…” She opened her eyes, looking around. “No, I guess that would be too obvious, wouldn’t it?”

  He wouldn’t hesitate if they were on an airplane filled with strangers, but since they were in the midst of her parents, brother, and numerous other relatives, he wasn’t about to risk being ostracized for a quickie. He could live with a case of blue balls for a while; what he couldn’t live
without was her. “Yeah, it’s not happening here, baby.”

  She gripped his forearm, digging her nails into his skin.

  He swirled the pad of his thumb over her clit while he thrust three fingers in and out of her tight, wet channel. His breathing was becoming labored as he leaned his head into her shoulder. Her arousal was provoking him beyond his limits. He didn’t know how much longer he could do this without taking her right here. “Honey, I think I need a minute,” he whispered.

  “No,” she whimpered. “Please, don’t stop. I’m almost there, Ry.”

  He knew he couldn’t or wouldn’t deny her anything, ever. Forcing himself to focus on her pleasure, he ignored his own need for release. He turned her mouth toward his and smothered her moan in a deep, long kiss. He pulled away slowly as her tremors subsided and smiled down at her. “Think you’ll be able to sleep now, beautiful?”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her cheeks stained a soft pink. “I was being selfish…”

  He kissed her lips again, softly. “I love the fact that you trusted me enough to let me take care of you like that here.”

  Closing her eyes, she said, “I can’t believe we did that.”

  “Do you have any regrets?”

  With a wicked grin, she said, “No, can we do it again?”

  Ryan watched as his little siren fell into a deep slumber. She was so perfect. It irked him to know that she thought he looked at her and thought about all the things he’d like to change. Instead he looked at her and realized that beauty like hers couldn’t be bought at the hands of a skilled doctor; it was God-given, and he wanted to enjoy it, waking up to her flawless face every day for the rest of his life. He already knew he wanted to marry her; if he hadn’t been convinced before, he was now. Three months of self-induced celibacy taught him one thing: he was capable of being a one-woman man, and as long as he could have the woman he wanted for the rest of his life, he’d never need another.

  He must have fallen asleep too because when they woke, the plane was landing.

  She looked at the clunky watch on her slim wrist. “Wow, we’re here already. I must have been tired. I slept the whole way.” She looked at him, smiling smugly. “Well, almost the whole way.”

  “Look at me like that again and I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.”

  She laughed, pushing the blanket off her legs. “You wouldn’t do that under my mother’s watchful eye.”

  “Don’t be so sure.” At this point, he was liable to do anything.

  Her long blonde hair was sleep tousled, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes glazed. She looked like she’d been well-loved, but he hadn’t even gotten started yet. He had seven days to make up for three months of lost time, and that meant he would take her anywhere and everywhere the opportunity presented itself.

  “You know you’re sharing my suite, don’t you?” he asked, sucking her earlobe into his mouth.

  “But my parents will want to know what’s going on between us.”

  “Then tell them to ask me. I’d be more than happy to fill them in.”

  She turned in her seat, facing him. “What would you tell them?”

  He had the words to express himself but lacked the courage. Things were still so tenuous between them. She appeared willing to let him satisfy her needs, but she wasn’t open to pursuing a relationship with him yet. He was confident that she would feel differently by the end of the week. “That we’re both consenting adults capable of making our own decisions.”

  She laughed. “Can I be there when you say that to my mother? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone put her in her place before.”

  “I have no intention of disrespecting your mother, sweetheart,” he said, kissing her gently. “In fact, I intend to win her over while we’re here.”

  “Why?”

  He wouldn’t tell her it was because he intended to forge a relationship with his future in-laws while they were here. The truth might prompt her to bolt. “Let’s just say it’s easier to make friends than enemies.”

  “Ha! Have you met my mother?”

  “Ssh,” Ryan said when Mrs. Miller turned around. “Keep in mind this is your brother’s wedding. Let’s try and keep things civil for his sake.”

  She giggled loudly enough to draw the attention of the passengers across the aisle. “You’re really taking your duties as best man seriously, aren’t you?”

  “I want to make something clear, Alana. I accepted your brother’s offer because I genuinely like and respect him. I consider him a friend, and I was honored that he asked me to be a part of this.”

  She reached up to stroke his cheek, smiling. “That’s sweet. I’m glad you feel that way. I have to admit, I wondered whether you might have had an ulterior motive coming here.”

  “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious to see you again, but I wouldn’t use this opportunity to make inroads with you.”

  She plucked an invisible piece of lint off her cotton pants. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure, anything.”

  The pilot interrupted them, taking a moment to tell them the local time and weather conditions.

  “You were saying?”

  She pulled the hoodie she’d slipped on at the start of the flight tighter around her mid-section. “Why didn’t you ever call?”

  He was tempted to pick up the phone every day for the past three months, but he refused to come back to her until he could claim he was a better man than the one she’d kicked out of her apartment that night. “You told me not to. I was trying to respect your wishes.”

  “Hmm,” she said, tightening her seatbelt. “Good to know.”

  “Honey, I’m not saying it was easy. Staying away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Sighing, he took her hand. “You were right when you told me to keep my distance. I didn’t deserve you. I’m still not sure I do, if you want to know the truth.”

  She pulled her hand away, settling it in her lap. “Does that mean you lied to me earlier? Have you been with other women the past few months?”

  “No, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to atone for a lifetime of sins. If my daughter ever fell in love with a guy like me, I’d probably take a hit out on him.”

  The ghost of a smile tugged at her lips. “Any idea why there were so many women? Why you couldn’t be satisfied with just one?”

  “Would it sound like a line if I told you I hadn’t found the right one?”

  She chuckled. “Probably.”

  “It’s the truth. When I first laid eyes on you a year ago, something changed. Sure, I slept with a couple of women in the time it took me to find the courage to come to your dealership, but it was all about the sex. I thought about you…” he whispered, lowering his head, “when I was having sex with them.”

  “Don’t say any more…” she said, closing her eyes. “I don’t want to hear this.”

  “Every time I closed my eyes, I’d imagine you were the one lying beneath me, you were the one sucking my cock.”

  “God, I hate you,” she whispered.

  “Baby…” he said, reaching for her hand. “I didn’t mean to…”

  “Shut up,” she said, withdrawing her hand. “Don’t touch me.” Her bottom lip trembled as she said, “You’re no better than he was. It was all about the sex for him too. He swore it didn’t mean anything. He said he was thinking about me while he was fucking them.”

  Shit. He’d dug himself another hole, reminding her that he was cut from the same cloth as that prick that’d cheated on her. “Look, forget I said anything, okay?”

  “Like I could.” By the time the plane touched down, she was the first one out of her seat when the seatbelt sign was turned off.

  When he tried to grab her wrist, she shook him off. “Don’t you speak English? I told you not to touch me, and by that I meant ever.”

  Holding it together while they checked into the resort took everything in Alana. She tried so hard to pretend everything was fine while ignorin
g Ryan. Apparently, she hadn’t fooled her brother.

  “Hey, why don’t we grab a drink before we head upstairs?” Justin asked. “I think I saw a Ping-Pong table in the games room. It might be fun to kick your butt for old time’s sake.”

  She appreciated his effort to make her feel better, but it wasn’t working. She wanted nothing more than to pull the covers over her head and shut out the rest of the world, but she knew with Ryan’s room just down the hall, that would be impossible. Besides, her younger brother was getting married in just a few days, and while she loved Jackie like a sister, she wanted to make sure he wasn’t having any reservations about his decision to get married. “Sure, why not?”

  He looped his arm around her neck as he led her into the games room. A few tables were positioned around the TV and a bar in the middle of the large room. Billiards, air hockey, and Ping Pong tables dominated the space, with several arcade games lining one wall.

  Alana thought it seemed like the perfect place to hide out and escape your problems for a while.

  “What’ll you have to drink?” Ryan asked.

  “Chardonnay sounds good,” she said, claiming one of the empty tables. She hadn’t had a drink in months and she could definitely use one tonight. She watched a hockey game on the big screen TV while Justin ordered their drinks at the bar.

  He returned, setting the drinks and a bowl of pretzels in the middle of the table. “Okay, you want to tell me what happened with Ryan today?”

  “Nope,” she said, popping a pretzel in her mouth.

  “One minute you two were sneaking off to make out, and the next you couldn’t get away from him fast enough. What’d he say to piss you off?”

  She looked her brother directly in the eye. She knew if she didn’t tell him the truth, he would harass her about this for the next week. “He reminded me that he’s exactly like Todd.”

  Looking skeptical, he took a long pull from his bottle of beer as he leaned back in his chair. “Okay, I’m listening.”

  Justin knew the whole story about Todd, how much he’d hurt her and how long she had taken to get over his betrayal. Some days, like today, she questioned whether she was over it. “He told me sex with other women didn’t mean anything,” she said quietly, leaning forward. “He said he thought about me when…”