Good riddance. He wasn’t about to go digging around issues, or dodging problems that got in his way. Logan was headed down a different path now. One that would lead him to someplace new. Who cared if it didn’t lead in the direction he’d hoped? Whether married or divorced, for better or worse, it was time to move full-steam ahead once and for all. Finally, Logan would get out of this rut and start anew.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Candice set her fork down and pulled the napkin from her lap. “So you’ve been divorced for how many years now?”
“Just over two,” Sam said, reaching for his glass. He gave her a weak grin before taking a pull from his straw.
Candice thought over some of the details he’d shared. “That’s tough. So did she marry the guy?”
Sam nodded. “They have one kid together. Another on the way.”
“Ouch,” she said with a cringe.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “You kind of expect affairs to just, I don’t know, fizzle out I guess. At least I did.” He shrugged. “But it gets easier to deal with. It just takes time.”
Candice pondered that as she looked Sam over once more. He was handsome, that was easy to see. He kept his dark blond hair short and his face well shaved. He dressed nicer than the rest of the male faculty, always wearing khakis or navy cargo pants with a button-up shirt. He was nice too. Thoughtful. She couldn’t help but wonder why his ex-wife had left him.
“Will you folks be needing any to-go boxes this evening?” the waitress asked as she stepped up to the table.
Sam looked to Candice with a raised brow.
“No,” she answered. “None for me.”
He turned back to the waitress. “I guess not.”
The woman scribbled at the bottom of the check while pushing her tongue through a wad of gum. “Top half is his. Bottom half is hers.” She tore the ticket off her pad and set it on the table. “Thanks for coming in, you two.”
Something about the way the woman addressed them, the whole ‘you two’ comment, made Candice uncomfortable. She looked down at the dainty ring on her finger. A thin gold band with a princess cut diamond. Her gaze drifted to Sam’s hands next, lingering there as she noted the absence of a ring.
“This looks bad,” she said.
There went that furrow in his brow again. “How so?”
She shrugged. “Married woman. Sitting across from a non-married man at a restaurant.”
“I kind of think of you more as a separated woman. But uh, this isn’t a date or anything. Just a couple of colleagues having a bite to eat. Right?”
She nodded. “Right. I know. I’m sorry. I guess I just don’t know where I’m headed right now. But I still want to be careful. Not give the appearance of doing anything I…” her gaze dropped back down to her hands, “I shouldn’t be doing.”
A moment passed while she spun the ring on her wedding finger, stopping once the diamond was hidden beneath. Quickly, she moved it back as Sam spoke up once more.
“Mind if we talk about your separation? You don’t have to, of course. But I am curious. You’ve been working at the school for a year now, and hardly a word is said about your husband. Then out of the blue he shows up at the school wanting some time with you. Are you two trying to make things work, or call it quits?”
Though she’d moved her focus to the centerpiece between them – a tiny vase with small, silk flowers – Candice felt her eyes widen at the bold question. She let her gaze move slowly, linger over his half-empty cup, the crumpled napkin on his plate, and the thin navy tie he wore. She blushed once she caught his gaze, surprised when there wasn’t a hint of a smile on him.
“I’m not going to pretend I’m not interested, Candice. You’re married, and I respect that. But if your separation is anything like mine was, it’s more of a formality than anything else. A time where both parties get things organized and ready for divorce. I’ve never gotten the impression that you and Logan were actually working on your relationship. Did I miss something?”
Is this how men were now? So direct? As much as it made her squirm Candice appreciated his approach. He wasn’t one to play games. “No,” she finally said. “You’re right. We haven’t had much to do with one another. It’s all just coming to a head now and suddenly we have to decide if we’re going to stay on this adoption list and try one last time to get a baby or call it off and say goodbye and it’s a whole lot harder than I thought it would be.” She gulped, took a sip of her drink, then exhaled a long, shaky breath. Her pulse pressed at the sides of her head, making it ache with the weight of her situation. “Sorry to dump all of that on you.”
He tilted his head, a slight grin on his lips. “So even though you don’t live together, you’re considering being a parent with him? Adopting a newborn baby?”
“I know. That’s kind of messed up, isn’t it? I mean, of course we’d move back in together and raise the child as a couple.” Her face felt hot suddenly. And her shoulders were starting to ache.
“In my marriage,” he said, sinking lower into the seat. “Lisa stopped loving me, and fell in love with someone else. There wasn’t any room for making it work or keeping things together. She had checked out long before it even came to my attention.” He leaned forward an inch. Brought his voice down. “So I guess the question here is this: Are you two still in love?”
A deep fire roared up in her chest. Because she knew the answer. Candice did still love Logan. And she knew he loved her too. “What makes you think something like that is enough?”
Sam chuckled. “Something like that? You say it as if the whole loving-each-other-part is trivial.”
“Maybe it is,” she countered.
He straightened up in his seat. “It isn’t. You’re not a couple of kids, Candice.” Sam exhaled a deep breath, his face pinched with contemplation. She’d seen that expression on him during intense meetings with the board.
“Have you ever had a regret?”
She furrowed her brows. “Of course I have.”
“Well after I found out about Lisa – that she’d been with this other guy – I was ready to fly off the handle. Actually, I did at first. But when it was all said and done, I started to think about how I wanted to live my life. Who I wanted to live it with. And I decided that – if Lisa was sorry, if being with this guy was a one-time mistake that would never happen again…” He shook his head, twisted his lips. “I would have forgiven her and tried to make it work. I told her as much. I put myself out there. Swallowed impossible amounts of jealousy and pride. I gave it everything I had because I didn’t want any regrets.”
“Why would you have had regrets? She’s the one who messed up.”
“Because I loved her. And I feared that I might look back after ending things and think, ‘what if part of it was my fault?’ Or ‘why didn’t I give her a second chance?’”
A second chance. The words seared their way into the core of her mind, snatching all sense of comfort. She fought the urge to physically squirm in her seat, to get out from under the strange current that hummed over her skin.
“You said the two of you had fertility issues. Was that the extent of it?”
“Pretty much,” she said. “But it’s bigger than it sounds. It was… consuming.”
“Was Logan ever abusive?”
Candice shook her head.
“Did he cheat on you? Or you on him?”
Another head shake, accompanied by a weak, “no.”
“Is he addicted to anything?”
“No. He’s solid. He’s always been good to me. We just… we had different things going on. It’s hard to explain.” The feeling was intensifying now. Growing in strength with each passing breath.
Sam didn’t let up. “And Logan wants to make it work?”
“I think. At least, he did. He asked me to move in with him.”
Sam’s jaw tightened as he looked her over. Candice felt like she was standing in some sort of quick sand, losing ground inches at a time. She wasn’t sure if she w
anted to ask for help, lash out, or burst into tears.
“You don’t want to be haunted by this your whole life. If you move on to another relationship – ”
“I don’t plan to do that,” Candice snapped, finally gaining a bit of ground. “I’ll never get remarried again.”
A spark of hurt flared in his eyes for a beat, and then it was gone. Covered by an impartial mask. “If Logan moves on to another relationship, who’s to say you won’t look back and wonder why you didn’t give him another chance? You could get caught up in years of regret, wishing you had just tried harder.”
Static – that’s what it felt like. As if every hair on her body was reaching out, trying to take action as she sat there, doing nothing about the sudden desperation growing inside her. This new and urgent need to do exactly what Sam suggested.
“Maybe you’re right,” she finally said. The words echoed in her head, assuring her that she’d really said them. It took a moment for Sam to come back into view, with as blurry as things had become.
“Or…” Sam said, looking bashful suddenly, “you could always just divorce the guy and date me instead.” He smiled, pulled a few bills from his wallet, and dropped them on top of the check.
“Yes,” she said with a laugh. “There’s always that option.”
His smile faded. “Seriously, though. I’m encouraging you – not just because I’m a nice guy, which I am – but because I’m interested too. If things don’t work out, you may change your mind about dating in the future. That’s easier to do when you’re sure about the choices you’ve made in your past.”
Candice nodded, allowing his words to really sink in. “You’re right. Thank you.”
“And who knows, I might even still be single.”
She let out a laugh, hoping Sam wouldn’t be single for long. He was a catch. One any woman would be lucky to find. Still, as Candice tried to engage in the next topic that came up – something about the good meal and decent prices – she sunk right back into the depths of her mind.
Thanks to Sam Green, Candice was ready to give her marriage another shot. Already she was prepared to forgive Logan for his accusation about the list, as long as he believed that it was a mistake. But there were still a few questions, bobbing in the sea of her thoughts: Would she and Logan be able to get past what they’d been through? Did they have what it would take to overcome the new difficulties that lay ahead? And more importantly, would Logan give her the chance to find out?
~+~
Logan paced the empty floor of Candice’s apartment. It was getting darker by the minute and he couldn’t imagine where in heaven’s name she could be. No one had answered when he tried her cellphone, so he’d swung by the school to find that her car was still there. The doors to the school had been locked, but eventually he’d flagged down a janitor and practically forced the poor guy to call her on the intercom. Logan then searched the entire building himself before stumbling onto an office attendant who said she’d seen Candice leave with Sam Green. The two had simply climbed into his truck and gone who-knew-where.
As if that wasn’t enough to boil his blood he’d come here to find she’d placed a hide-a-key underneath her doormat. Her doormat of all places. Who in tarnation thinks that’s a safe place to hide a key? He cursed under his breath and strode to the window for the millionth time. With a quick flick of the blinds, he peered through the window to see none other than Candice pulling into the lot. He watched as the black four-door eased into a slot.
He let the blinds snap back into place and paced some more. Oh, was she going to get an earful. She was dating now? Sure, it’d been over a week since they’d talked – argued, was more like it – but that didn’t mean they could go around dating other people. “I’m gonna kill that guy,” he muttered under his breath. “Way to return a favor, Sam, you freakin’ dirt bag.” The insults continued as he waited for Candice to walk in. She’d be surprised to see him there, no doubt. Chances were she hadn’t even noticed his truck out there, parked along the street. She was probably too busy replaying the wonderful time she’d had with good ol’ dog-toting, class-teaching, back-stabbing Sam Green.
Wait, was that laughter he heard? Logan stopped pacing. Tilted his head. Yes. It was Candice’s laughter. And someone else’s too. “Sam.” He gritted his teeth. This was worse than he thought. She was bringing him home?
Two long strides brought Logan to the door where he swung the thing open. He scanned the stairs first, came up empty, and moved his gaze over the lot next, eyes darting from one end to the next. And there they were, removing something from the back of Wife Stealer’s truck.
Logan took the stairs like he was on skis. Moving so quickly he barely knew which step he was on. Once at the bottom, after glancing down at the stupid weed in the crack, Logan noticed a reclining chair in Sam’s truck bed. The two were standing in the back of his truck now, and Sam was instructing her on something he couldn’t quite hear.
“You two need some help?” Logan hollered. It hadn’t sounded like a question at all. More like an accusation, and he knew it.
Candice jumped and yelped at the same time. Sam didn’t flinch. Merely turned to look over his shoulder in some smooth, I-didn’t-do-anything-wrong-here way.
“Jeez, you scared the crap out of me,” Candice scolded.
“Actually we could use your help, Logan,” Sam said. “You’ve got good timing. Come on over here and lift the back of this chair off the base while I detach it. You can carry the top. I’ll take the bottom.”
Hmm. Seemed pretty comfortable for someone who was acting like a snake. Logan climbed onto the truck and wrapped his arms around the upper portion of the chair. “I hope you weren’t planning to have my wife carry any part of this,” he said with a grunt.
“Logan,” Candice chided.
“No, no. It’s alright,” Sam said to her. “Of course I didn’t plan on that. Why do you think I’m here?”
“I have no idea why you’re here.” Logan could only see Candice from his peripheral, but that didn’t stop him from feeling the heat of her glare.
“He’s here because I asked for his help.”
At once the piece Logan was holding broke free from the base. Sam climbed down from the truck and began tugging it toward him. The bottom piece was obviously much heavier than the top.
“Here,” Logan said, leaning his piece against the truck and helping get it to the edge. “Why don’t I take this one and you can bring up the other.”
Sam was mid-squat, preparing to lift. “Why?”
Logan glanced at his wide-eyed wife and let out a small chuckle. “Because I’m used to doing physical labor and you’re…” he tilted his head to eye him up and down, “not.”
Sam’s eyes shifted to Candice, and then back to him. “Well I lift weights everyday after work, so don’t worry about me.”
Logan sneered. “Trust me. I’m not worried about you at all.”
Candice didn’t roll her eyes, but her expression said she was doing all sorts of mental eye-rolls just the same. Was she resisting to put on a show for her guest? Or to shield Sam from his obvious sarcasm? The thought annoyed him.
Still, he took pleasure in watching Sam struggle up the narrow, outdoor stairwell with the oversized piece of furniture. A bead of sweat ran down the side of the guy’s face by the time he set it in the center of Candice’s front room. He seemed to be hiding the sound of his panting as he strode into the kitchen. “Mind if I grab myself a drink?” he asked over one shoulder.
“No, go ahead,” Candice said, coming up behind them. “Thanks for helping me out tonight, Sam. I really appreciate it.” She threw Logan a warning frown and hurried into the kitchen. “Here. I have some ice in the freezer if you’d like.” She pulled out an old ice tray and began twisting the thing, releasing random ice cubes with a crack. Logan gulped the dryness from his throat as he watched Candice plop a few cubes into Sammy-boy’s glass.
“That enough?”
Sam nodded. �
�Perfect.” He tipped his head back, guzzling until only cubes remained. He filled his cup from the sink once more and proceeded to drink that down too. After setting his cup in the sink, Sam turned to Logan. “I’ll leave the reassembly part to you. You just hold down those – ”
“I know how to do it,” Logan assured. “Thanks.” When Sam’s gaze shifted back to Candice, Logan folded his arms and shuffled closer to her.
Sam didn’t seem fazed in the least. “See you tomorrow,” he said.
Logan gritted his teeth. Bastard would be seeing her tomorrow, wouldn’t he? And every working day of her life for the foreseeable future.
“Bye, Sam,” Candice said, moving around Logan to walk him to the door. “Thanks again for your help.”
The guy gave her a smile that looked more like a secret. “Any time.”
Once the door was securely closed, Candice turned to lean against it and folded her arms. “What is going on?”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Candice watched as Logan planted his feet in place. “That’s the exact question I was about to ask you,” he said, folding his arms over his chest.
She licked her lips, hoping he couldn’t sense her frazzled state. She hadn’t anticipated seeing Logan so soon after her conversation with Sam. Hadn’t dreamt she’d come home to find him there waiting at her apartment. And while one part of her was childishly giddy over it, the other was working to simply form a reply. He’d turned her own question back on her. Demanded to know what she was doing.
“Okay,” she said calmly. “I’ll start. After work I asked Sam if he’d follow me down to Collin’s Furniture to pick up a chair I bought online. It was in the scratch and dent so I got it for next to nothing.”
He nodded. “Though you could have had your choice of already-paid-for furniture that’s just sitting at my place. Furniture we brought to Montana from Colorado for the purpose of using it. And it didn’t look like Sam ‘followed you down’ like you say because I saw your car in the school parking lot an hour ago.”
Mending Hearts: Logan's Story Page 9
