The 13th Science Fiction MEGAPACK®: 26 Great SF Stories!

by Lake, Jay

  His friend and colleague changed subjects abruptly, impatiently. “Let’s leave this blistering jabber about Pond’s motivation and get to the point. The man is the only trained space pilot in the world. It will take months, possibly more than a year, to bring another novitiate pilot to the point where he can safely be trusted to take our next explorer craft out. Appropriations for our expeditions have been increasingly hard to come by—even though in our minds, Hans, we are near important breakthroughs, breakthroughs which might possibly so spark the race that a new dream to push man out to the stars will take hold of us. If it is admitted that our organization has degenerated to the point that we haven’t a single pilot, then it might well be that the Economic Planning Board, and especially those cloddies on Appropriations, will terminate the whole Department of Space Exploration.”

  “So....” Girard-Perregaux said gently.

  “So some way we’ve got to bring Seymour Pond out of his retirement!”

  “Now we are getting to matters.” Girard-Perregaux nodded his agreement. Looking over the rim of his glass, his eyes narrowed in thought as his face took on an expression of Machiavellianism. “And do not the ends justify the means?”

  Gubelin blinked at him.

  The other chuckled. “The trouble with you, Lofting, is that you have failed to bring history to bear on our problem. Haven’t you ever read of the sailor and his way of life?”

  “Sailor? What in the name of the living Zoroaster has the sailor got to do with it?”

  “You must realize, my dear Lofting, that our Si Pond is nothing more than a latter-day sailor, with many of the problems and view-points, tendencies and weaknesses of the voyager of the past. Have you never heard of the seaman who dreamed of returning to the village of his birth and buying a chicken farm or some such? All the long months at sea—and sometimes the tramp freighters or whaling craft would be out for years at a stretch before returning to home port—he would talk of his retirement and his dream. And then? Then in port, it would be one short drink with the boys, before taking his accumulated pay and heading home. The one short drink would lead to another. And morning would find him, drunk, rolled, tattooed and possibly sleeping it off in jail. So back to sea he’d have to go.”

  Gubelin grunted bitterly. “Unfortunately, our present-day sailor can’t be separated from his money quite so easily. If he could, I’d personally be willing to lure him down some dark alley, knock him over the head and roll him myself. Just to bring him back to his job again.”

  He brought his wallet from his pocket, and flicked it open to his universal credit card. “The ultimate means of exchange,” he grunted. “Nobody can spend your money, but you, yourself. Nobody can steal it, nobody can, ah, con you out of it. Just how do you expect to sever our present-day sailor and his accumulated nest egg?”

  The other chuckled again. “It is simply a matter of finding more modern methods, my dear chap.”

  II

  Si Pond was a great believer in the institution of the spree. Any excuse would do. Back when he had finished basic education at the age of twenty-five and was registered for the labor draft, there hadn’t been a chance in a hundred that he’d have the bad luck to have his name pulled. But when it had been, Si had celebrated.

  When he had been informed that his physical and mental qualifications were such that he was eligible for the most dangerous occupation in the Ultrawelfare State and had been pressured into taking training for space pilot, he had celebrated once again. Twenty-two others had taken the training with him, and only he and Rod Cameroon had passed the finals. On this occasion, he and Rod had celebrated together. It had been quite a party. Two weeks later, Rod had burned on a faulty take-off on what should have been a routine Moon run.

  Each time Si returned from one of his own runs, he celebrated. A spree, a bust, a bat, a wing-ding, a night on the town. A commemoration of dangers met and passed.

  Now it was all over. At the age of thirty he was retired. Law prevented him from ever being called up for contributing to the country’s labor needs again. And he most certainly wasn’t going to volunteer.

  He had taken his schooling much as had his contemporaries. There wasn’t any particular reason for trying to excell. You didn’t want to get the reputation for being a wise guy, or a cloddy either. Just one of the fellas. You could do the same in life whether you really studied or not. You had your Inalienable Basic stock, didn’t you? What else did you need?

  It had come as a surprise when he’d been drafted for the labor force.

  In the early days of the Ultrawelfare State, they had made a mistake in adapting to the automation of the second industrial revolution. They had attempted to give everyone work by reducing the number of working hours in the day, and the number of working days in the week. It finally became ludicrous when employees of industry were working but two days a week, two hours a day. In fact, it got chaotic. It became obvious that it was more practical to have one worker putting in thirty-five hours a week and getting to know his job well, than it was to have a score of employees, each working a few hours a week and none of them ever really becoming efficient.

  The only fair thing was to let the technologically unemployed remain unemployed, with their Inalienable Basic stock as the equivalent of unemployment insurance, while the few workers still needed put in a reasonable number of hours a day, a reasonable number of weeks a year and a reasonable number of years in a life time. When new employees were needed, a draft lottery was held.

  All persons registered in the labor force participated. If you were drawn, you must need serve. The dissatisfaction those chosen might feel at their poor luck was offset by the fact that they were granted additional Variable Basic shares, according to the tasks they fulfilled. Such shares could be added to their portfolios, the dividends becoming part of their current credit balance, or could be sold for a lump sum on the market.

  Yes, but now it was all over. He had his own little place, his own vacuum-tube vehicle and twice the amount of shares of Basic that most of his fellow citizens could boast. Si Pond had it made. A spree was obviously called for.

  He was going to do this one right. This was the big one. He’d accumulated a lot of dollars these past few months and he intended to blow them, or at least a sizeable number of them. His credit card was burning a hole in his pocket, as the expression went. However, he wasn’t going to rush into things. This had to be done correctly.

  Too many a spree was played by ear. You started off with a few drinks, fell in with some second rate mopsy and usually wound up in a third rate groggery where you spent just as much as though you’d been in the classiest joint in town. Came morning and you had nothing to show for all the dollars that had been spent but a rum-head.

  Thus, Si was vaguely aware, it had always been down through the centuries since the Phoenecian sailor, back from his year-long trip to the tin mines of Cornwall, blew his hard earned share of the voyage’s profits in a matter of days in the wine shops of Tyre. Nobody gets quite so little for his money as that loneliest of all workers, he who must leave his home for distant lands, returning only periodically and usually with the salary of lengthy, weary periods of time to be spent hurriedly in an attempt to achieve the pleasure and happiness so long denied him.

  Si was going to do it differently this time.

  Nothing but the best. Wine, women, song, food, entertainment. The works. But nothing but the best.

  * * * *

  To start off, he dressed with great care in the honorable retirement-rank suit he had so recently purchased. His space pin he attached carefully to the lapel. That was a good beginning, he decided. A bit of prestige didn’t hurt you when you went out on the town. In the Ultrawelfare State hardly one person in a hundred actually ever performed anything of value to society. The efforts of most weren’t needed. Those few who did contribute were awarded honors,
decorations, titles.

  Attired satisfactorily, Si double-checked to see that his credit card was in his pocket. As an after-thought, he went over to the auto-apartment’s teevee-phone, flicked it on, held the card to the screen and said, “Balance check, please.”

  In a moment, the teevee-phone’s robot voice reported, “Ten shares of Inalienable Basic. Twelve shares of Variable Basic, current value, four thousand, two hundred and thirty-three dollars and sixty-two cents apiece. Current cash credit, one thousand and eighty-four dollars.” The screen went dead.

  One thousand and eighty-four dollars. That was plenty. He could safely spend as much as half of it, if the spree got as lively as he hoped it would. His monthly dividends were due in another week or so, and he wouldn’t have to worry about current expenses. Yes, indeedy, Si Pond was as solvent as he had ever been in his thirty years.

  He opened the small, closet-like door which housed his vacuum-tube two-seater, and wedged himself into the small vehicle. He brought down the canopy, dropped the pressurizer and considered the dial. Only one place really made sense. The big city.

  He considered for a moment, decided against the boroughs of Baltimore and Boston, and selected Manhattan instead. He had the resources. He might as well do it up brown.

  He dialed Manhattan and felt the sinking sensation that presaged his car’s dropping to tube level. While it was being taken up by the robot controls, being shuttled here and there preparatory to the shot to his destination, he dialed the vehicle’s teevee-phone for information on the hotels of the island of the Hudson. He selected a swank hostelry he’d read about and seen on the teevee casts of society and celebrity gossip reporters, and dialed it on the car’s destination dial.

  “Nothing too good for ex-Space Pilot Si Pond,” he said aloud.

  The car hesitated for a moment, that brief hesitation before the shot, and Si took the involuntary breath from which only heroes could refrain. He sank back slowly into the seat. Moments passed, and the direction of the pressure was reversed.

  Manhattan. The shuttling began again, and one or two more traversing sub-shots. Finally, the dash threw a green light and Si opened the canopy and stepped into his hotel room.

  A voice said gently, “If the quarters are satisfactory, please present your credit card within ten minutes.”

  Si took his time. Not that he really needed it. It was by far the most swank suite he had ever seen. One wall was a window of whatever size the guest might desire and Si touched the control that dilated it to the full. His view opened in such wise that he could see both the Empire State Building Museum and the Hudson. Beyond the river stretched the all but endless city which was Greater Metropolis.

  He didn’t take the time to flick on the menu, next to the auto-dining table, nor to check the endless potables on the autobar list. All that, he well knew, would be superlative. Besides, he didn’t plan to dine or do much drinking in his suite. He made a mock leer. Not unless he managed to acquire some feminine companionship, that was.

  He looked briefly into the swimming pool and bath, then flopped himself happily onto the bed. It wasn’t up to the degree of softness he presently desired, and he dialed the thing to the ultimate in that direction so that with a laugh he sank almost out of sight into the mattress.

  He came back to his feet, gave his suit a quick patting so that it fell into press and, taking his credit card from his pocket, put it against the teevee-phone screen and pressed the hotel button so that registration could be completed.

  For a moment he stood in the center of the floor, in thought. Take it easy, Si Pond, take it all easy, this time. No throwing his dollars around in second-class groggeries, no eating in automated luncheterias. This time, be it the only time in his life, he was going to frolic in the grand manner. No cloddy was Si Pond.

  He decided a drink was in order to help him plan his strategy. A drink at the hotel’s famous Kudos Room where celebrities were reputed to be a dime a dozen.

  He left the suite and stepped into one of the elevators. He said, “Kudos Room.”

  The auto-elevator murmured politely, “Yes, sir, the Kudos Room.”

  * * * *

  At the door to the famous rendezvous of the swankiest set, Si paused a moment and looked about. He’d never been in a place like this, either. However, he stifled his first instinct to wonder about what this was going to do to his current credit balance with an inner grin and made his way to the bar.

  There was actually a bartender.

  Si Pond suppressed his astonishment and said, offhand, attempting an air of easy sophistication, “Slivovitz Sour.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  The drinks in the Kudos Room might be concocted by hand, but Si noticed they had the routine teevee screens built into the bar for payment. He put his credit card on the screen immediately before him when the drink came, and had to quell his desire to dial for a balance check, so as to be able to figure out what the Sour had cost him.

  Well, this was something like it. This was the sort of thing he’d dreamed about, out there in the great alone, seated in the confining conning tower of his space craft. He sipped at the drink, finding it up to his highest expectations, and then swiveled slightly on his stool to take a look at the others present.

  To his disappointment, there were no recognizable celebrities. None that he placed, at least—top teevee stars, top politicians of the Ultrawelfare State or Sports personalities.

  He turned back to his drink and noticed, for the first time, the girl who occupied the stool two down from him. Si Pond blinked. He blinked and then swallowed.

  “Zo-ro-as-ter,” he breathed.

  She was done in the latest style from Shanghai, even to the point of having cosmetically duplicated the Mongolian fold at the corners of her eyes. Every pore, but every pore, was in place. She sat with the easy grace of the Orient, so seldom found in the West.

  His stare couldn’t be ignored.

  She looked at him coldly, turned to the bartender and murmured, “A Far Out Cooler, please, Fredric.” Then deliberately added, “I thought the Kudos Room was supposed to be exclusive.”

  There was nothing the bartender could say to that, and he went about building the drink.

  Si cleared his throat. “Hey,” he said, “how about letting this one be on me?”

  Her eyebrows, which had been plucked and penciled to carry out her Oriental motif, rose. “Really!” she said, drawing it out.

  The bartender said hurriedly, “I beg your pardon, sir....”

  The girl, her voice suddenly subtly changed, said, “Why, isn’t that a space pin?”

  Si, disconcerted by the sudden reversal, said, “Yeah ... sure.”

  “Good Heavens, you’re a spaceman?”

  “Sure.” He pointed at the lapel pin. “You can’t wear one unless you been on at least a Moon run.”

  She was obviously both taken back and impressed. “Why,” she said, “you’re Seymour Pond, the pilot. I tuned in on the banquet they gave you.”

  Si, carrying his glass, moved over to the stool next to her. “Call me Si,” he said. “Everybody calls me Si.”

  She said, “I’m Natalie. Natalie Paskov. Just Natalie. Imagine meeting Seymour Pond. Just sitting down next to him at a bar. Just like that.”

  “Si,” Si said, gratified. Holy Zoroaster, he’d never seen anything like this rarified pulchritude. Maybe on teevee, of course, one of the current sex symbols, but never in person. “Call me Si,” he said again. “I been called Si so long, I don’t even know who somebody’s talking to if they say Seymour.”

  “I cried when they gave you that antique watch,” she said, her tone such that it was obvious she hadn’t quite adjusted as yet to having met him.

  Si Pond was surprised. “Cried?” he said. “Well, why? I was kind of bored with the whole t
hing. But old Doc Gubelin, I used to work under him in the Space Exploration department, he was hot for it.”

  “Academician Gubelin?” she said. “You just call him Doc?”

  Si was expansive. “Why, sure. In the Space Department we don’t have much time for formality. Everybody’s just Si, and Doc, and Jim. Like that. But how come you cried?”

  * * * *

  She looked down into the drink the bartender had placed before her, as though avoiding his face. “I ... I suppose it was that speech Doctor Girard-Perregaux made. There you stood, so fine and straight in your space-pilot uniform, the veteran of six exploration runs to the planets....”

  “Well,” Si said modestly, “two of my runs were only to the Moon.”

  “... and he said all those things about man’s conquest of space. And the dream of the stars which man has held so long. And then the fact that you were the last of the space pilots. The last man in the whole world trained to pilot a space craft. And here you were, retiring.”

  Si grunted. “Yeah. That’s all part of the Doc’s scheme to get me to take on another three runs. They’re afraid the whole department’ll be dropped by the Appropriations Committee on this here Economic Planning Board. Even if they can find some other patsy to train for the job, it’d take maybe a year before you could even send him on a Moon hop. So old man Gubelin, and Girard-Perregaux too, they’re both trying to pressure me into more trips. Otherwise they got a Space Exploration Department, with all the expense and all, but nobody to pilot their ships. It’s kind of funny, in a way. You know what one of those spaceships costs?”

  “Funny?” she said. “Why, I don’t think it’s funny at all.”