SURRENDER (The Ferryman + The Flame)

by Rhiannon Paille

  This is what I want, this and nothing else, ever. Krishani’s voice soothed her senses. She closed her eyes as a fresh wave of tears streamed down her face. She needed Pux to leave before Crestaos found her, before the foe got what he wanted.

  “You love him more than anything, don’t you?” Pux asked.

  She nodded. “I do.”

  Pux had grown; he seemed much wiser than the boy she once knew. “He loves you more than you know.”

  “I can’t help him.”

  She heard him draw closer.

  “I think I understand it, Kaliel. I would do anything to know you were safe and happy. Even if I wasn’t sure it would help, I would still do it. Is that what love is?”

  Kaliel nodded. Ever since she had seen him at Samhain a year ago she thought he would never accept her feelings for Krishani ...but he did. She wiped away the tears and glanced at the dagger on the sand. Pux picked it up and folded it into her hand. He pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her.

  “I know he’s almost here,” he whispered in her ear. His looks and mannerisms betrayed. He was much smarter than she gave him credit for.

  She trembled as she tried to find the words to tell him what was coming for her. No words would explain it. She simply tightened her arms around him.

  “Run. Hide. He will take your soul,” Pux whispered.

  The same words the Quartz Flame spoke.

  Her mouth fell open. She let her arms fall to her sides as he pulled away.

  “I have to go.” She glanced behind her at the forest. A thin path wound through the trees, leading to the mountain.

  Pux nodded as he stepped backwards towards the brush. “I’ll make sure it’s me and not him.” He disappeared into thin air.

  Without a second thought, she gripped the dagger and fled towards Avred. She hoped it wasn’t too late.

  Krishani was lost in the rhythmic dance of the battle, his sword twisting through armor and flesh, bodies dropping. More creatures poured from the northeast, and as the night drew on, it seemed like the battle would never end. Half of the kinfolk were dead, only four of the cavalry remained. Istar and the elders fought with a magnitude that paled in comparison to the vengeful nature of the cloaked beings.

  One thing pricked at the corner of his mind, something he hadn’t seen yet—where was the foe that was coming for Kaliel?

  Krishani spun and kicked one of the creatures in the chest. The force caused him to fall back into a pile of bodies, and as his head collided with the hard armor, the truth hit him.

  She couldn’t hide from Crestaos.

  He scrambled to his feet and scanned the battlefield. Mallorn fought atop Umber, the horse dodging blows and loudly neighing over the screams.

  Krishani broke into a sprint and leapt into the air, knocking Mallorn clear off Umber’s back. He wrestled to his feet as Mallorn shot him a bewildered look.

  “You’re mad!” Mallorn shouted.

  Krishani had no time to respond. He grabbed the reins of the flailing horse and swung onto its back, racing towards the village of the Shee.

  The battle was nothing but a distraction.

  Crestaos knew where she was.

  Branches whipped Kaliel’s face as she ran, her lungs aching for air. Her throat felt as though it was on fire as she fought through the forest. Her foot snagged on a root and she hit the ground hard, a prickly bush cutting into her skin as the dirt seeped between her fingers.

  Kaliel winced, but overall she felt better the farther she went. She had no idea how long it would take to reach the mouth of the volcano. With the foe on her heels she wasn’t sure of time in general. She paused, her hands and knees still pressed into the soil, the dagger firmly pressed against the inside of her right palm.

  She took a shaky breath and found her feet. She stood, vertigo sweeping into her as she clawed her way through the vines. The path was overgrown; nobody had used it in thousands of years. Kaliel slowed as she pushed vines and bushes out of her way, trying to reach the volcano and escape Crestaos. She shut her eyes to avoid being whipped in the face by branches and continued darting through the trees. The battle flashed before her, images of her kinfolk, her elders and Krishani caught in the fray. She gritted her teeth as she spotted Pux. He darted out of the way and injured more than executed the enemies. Her gaze snapped to Krishani. He kicked one of the creatures in the chest. She shuddered and opened her eyes, breathing heavily.

  Please live, she thought.

  The mountain wasn’t as steep as she thought it would be. She quickened her pace, pulling herself through the brush that covered most of the mountain in foliage. A new wave of fear and uncertainty surged into her. Crestaos was near; there was no way to avoid him. Her only hope was to awaken Avred and that idea brought scarier thoughts to her mind. What if she was unable to do it? She was the weed. A wave of sickness washed over her as the stabbing pain in her gut resumed. She slowed down, climbing carefully. The trees were a thick mess of moist forest as she trudged on. The path twisted and curved, the mouth of the volcano evading her. Time dragged on as the air thinned.

  She gasped and closed her eyes, slipping into a vision. The trees around her disappeared and Crestaos emerged from the brush on the east side of the Village of the Shee. Sand blackened, water sizzled, weeds faded to sickly brown. Her body shook as she watched him desecrate the village. Her knees hit the ground and she clenched her stomach and screamed.

  ”Stop!”

  Crestaos glanced at her astral form hovering near the glade.

  “Not until you belong to me,” Crestaos said.

  Kaliel heard the obsession in his voice. She forced her eyes open. She tried to climb, but every step was a struggle. She plodded up the mountain, desperate to evade the enemy long enough to awaken Avred. There was nothing to stop her muscles from giving out on her, but more importantly there was no way she could allow herself to get so lost on the mountain she would succumb to his wrath. She would find some way out of it; somehow she would help everyone, no matter what it took.

  Pux, she missed him already. She never thought it would come to this, his carefree days in Evennses stripped away from him. Everyone’s death would be her fault if she didn’t do something. She pulled her eyebrows together and tried not to think of the kinfolk that were already dead. Pux was fighting hard. He could transport, he didn’t need to be there. But she knew he wouldn’t stop, not until the enemies left and she was safe. He was everything to her in the years she lived in Evennses, a hidden genius. She reveled in the days they spent together in the forests, collecting herbs and playing hide and go seek.

  She hit the ground unexpectedly, this time her face smashed into the mud. A burst of stars danced across her vision then faded. She pushed herself to her knees and rubbed her face. It hurt, but she welcomed it. New pain made the old pain feel less painful.

  She closed her eyes and thought back to the first time she met Krishani. She had kept the ice orb until it melted away, something about him she would never forget. He might have been harsh back then, but he knew her better than anyone. He wouldn’t stop until Crestaos was dead.

  She grimaced as she wrapped her arms around herself and attempted to stop the searing pain in her chest from exploding. She wouldn’t get to see how beautiful her life with Krishani would have been. He was always there for her when she least expected it, even when she didn’t want him to be. He had comforted her fears about the Great Oak. He wouldn’t leave her, and because of it, the Valtanyana were threatening to take her. She gulped. They didn’t even want to discuss it. She wasn’t a person to them. She was a thing. A spasm ripped through her and she winced. She was nothing more than a pawn in their plans. She stood; her knees wobbling as she stepped forward and pushed away the branches. The trees were finally getting shorter.

  She pushed strands of hair out of her face as she continued up the mountain. An icy wind blew through the trees and she rubbed her arms. The temperature had dropped considerably. Despite the chill, she though
t she was running a fever. Her insides were on fire. She limped forward, ready to collapse.

  She broke through the tree line only to reveal a stony incline to the mouth of the volcano. Her eyes moved to the clear sky above, stars gathering together in clusters, providing natural light. She exhaled deeply as she realized it was almost over. She would awaken Avred and save Avristar. The thought made her feel better. The mountain would know what to do. She fell on her knees, scraping against the rock. She winced; the pain wasn’t as bad as before, but blood trickled down her knee from a shallow gash. Her stomach heaved involuntarily as she vomited on the rocks. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and pushed herself to her feet, carrying her broken body to the top of the plateau, the gaping hole of the volcano.

  She remembered the dagger pressed to her right hand. She opened her fingers revealing deep indents in her palm. She took the dagger with her left hand and summoned the last of her strength. She closed her eyes and heard the song the bards played the evening she danced with Krishani. Six moons had passed without a single glance at him. She felt the softness of his shirt as her cheek pressed into it. She turned in his arms as the music swelled. It hit the last note and she twirled under his arm before letting his hand drop. She wanted to stay in his embrace forever, but the words of the Great Oak were so adamant.

  Temptation.

  Kaliel moved the blade to her right hand and sliced into it, letting the drops of blood mix with her tears as they fell into the chamber of the mountain. She couldn’t be the weed of temptation, not when so much rested on this end.

  “Awaken, Avred, awaken,” she choked.

  She closed her eyes in expectation, some sort of sign that it worked, but as the moments passed and nothing happened she panicked. The comfort of the mountain faded away, the dam broke, and all the emotion and pain that was being held back flogged her. She hunched forward and fell on her side, her left arm curling around her waist in an attempt to grasp her chest. Her right hand trailed to the edge of the crevasse to prevent her from falling inside the fracture. She felt the cold as the land became a dizzy mess of utter silence.

  This and nothing else, ever.

  Krishani’s words reverberated in her mind as she rolled onto her back and looked at the stars. She tried to be optimistic; a few more moments and the mountain would awaken. It would speak to her; it would help her defeat Crestaos. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

  Please, Kaliel, Krishani said.

  She smiled to herself as her hands gripped the ledge of the water bowl in the lavatory. Krishani stood in front of her, shadows cast across his face. Her strength faltered, her hand slipped. He caught her and pulled her to him, his lips pressing against hers. She wondered why she gave him such a hard time, why she had spent so long hurting him. Her stomach heaved as she tried to find some words of comfort, but the memories were distorted and messy.

  The scene changed and she pressed her back up against the trees at the dead end of the path to the lake in Evennses, breathing a sigh of relief. She tried to imagine the feeling of the cool waters touching her skin as she swam deeper into the lake. The elated feeling it gave her to swim with the merfolk was long gone.

  On the mountaintop, she shivered as the wind blew across her skin. She blinked and looked at the stars one last time, the memories of her life flashing before her. It was over; the war would never end, not until Avristar was a wasteland. She pressed her hands to her stomach. Her eyes were dry and scratchy, tears crusted to her skin, eyes fused open. Dehydrated and weak, the searing pain became a mere thought in the back of her mind as it ravaged her insides. There was nothing left to fight against. Even the mere presence of Crestaos made her writhe in agony.

  You were the last person I wanted to see before I died, Pux said.

  The thought of Pux crossed her mind as she slid deeper into delirium. She wanted to see all of them alive. She wanted to marry Krishani in the presence of her elders and have them celebrate their union, their rightful union. There was something wrong about her, like she was never meant to be alive in the first place. Life was backwards; an endless monotony of confusion and worry. She was never normal or innocent or invisible. She couldn’t have a life that wasn’t plagued by disaster if she wanted it. Something would always crave to possess her.

  Avred seemed far away, like it had pulled deeper into itself, proof it would remain dormant, deaf to the quiet pleading in her heart, deaf to her desperation.

  She fell back into the reverie and felt her hands brush along the thin protective trees surrounding the Great Oak. It almost killed her to imagine that part of the forest, to walk amidst its unwilling trees. She stumbled over the roots snaking across the path and fell on her hands and knees. Tears escaped her eyes as a frightened cry moved past her lips. Her heart was thumping hard. She didn’t want to hear the tree’s words again, never again. She pressed her hands to her ears and shook herself away from the tree, trying to drown out its voice with the loudness of her whimpering. She backed up, stumbled and fell onto her back.

  Bloom the weed of temptation and expire the great garden of life.

  She lost control, the words weaving through her like a poison, twisting, carving out her insides. Temptation, weed, bloom the weed, expire the garden, weed of temptation, expire the garden, the weed, the weed, the weed.

  “Little flame,” Crestaos hissed as he broke through the tree line.

  The sound pulled Kaliel back to reality. Her eyes shot open and fixed on the canopy above her. She dug her fingers into the rocks, cursing the mountain for not helping her, cursing herself for being the weed. Her heart beat unsteadily as she shook against the force of silent lacerations. The last of her courage collapsed. She ran her hands along her stomach as the torture of his nearness threatened to throw her into a coma. Her head fell to the side, her eyes cast across his deathly form.

  He lurched towards her, a grin creeping across his face. His piercing white eyes shocked her with their lightning. Even clad in a black jacket, the intensity of his presence leaked off him. Pleasure, obsession, victory—all cascaded off his broad shoulders, his long arms, bony hands, and towering figure.

  Kaliel was caught in the devastation of his evident strength, a force she couldn’t fight if she tried. Mallorn was right—he would take her.

  She fought to scream, but the sound caught in her throat and she choked on it. There was only one thing worse than becoming the Valtanyana’s pawn, one thing that hurt more than any of the other things she had felt—Krishani. Instead of him leaving her, she was leaving him. He would be devastated.

  Bloom the flower of sacrifice and sustain the great garden in strife.

  The Flame flooded her body and showered the night in amethyst flames. Her eyes met with the crackling white lightning of Crestaos. She was deathly afraid of him, but the final words of the Great Oak were her saving grace.

  The force of the Flame exploded out of her, pressing itself through the void of her body. Her heart emitted a sonic boom then stopped beating altogether. The girl gaped as she fought for air and clawed at the ground.

  Crestaos towered over her, his palm poised and ready to pull the Flame into an orb, ready to take her.

  She smiled at him. Drawing her hands to her chest, she lunged away from him. The only thing left was the serenity of death. She closed her eyes as life slipped away from her, a voice sounding in the back of her mind. It was so familiar, so soft, so sure. It was something she would never forget.

  This is what I want, this and nothing else, ever.

  Death was the only place Crestaos couldn’t follow her. He thundered a cry of anguish as his hand swept across the bare rock. He leaned forward and peered into the mouth of the mountain, but she was gone. His eyes met with the blazing fires of Avred. The molten lava quickened as it entered the chamber, furiously threatening to erupt. He stumbled away from the volcano, cursing under his breath as he retreated. Defeat.

  Kaliel fell, heat wearing away her body, pressing in. She would
have screamed if she wasn’t out of breath. Flames rolled across her ivory dress, threads catching fire, flame spreading, engulfing her. Regret laced through her, forcing the fire on the inside to intensify.

  She was a thing, a girl, the lines blurred between the two.

  She was a thing trying to be a girl.

  There were two fires—the one that surrounded her and threatened to devour her body in its wrath, and the one on the inside, the one threatening to explode. She was ripping to shreds, splitting apart, filling with fire. The heat consumed her, crawled across her pale white skin. Angry red welts melted into black, crusted skin, pulling away from the bone.

  And the bone turned to ash.

  She didn’t scream. Tears evaporated, salt sticking to her lips. Sour liquid trickled across her tongue and she gagged at the taste. She gasped as heat flushed into her lungs. It touched the fire on the inside and the reaction made her panic.

  All she had left was the Flame.

  Blinding white-hot amethyst flames started somewhere near her heart and spread until they encompassed what was left of her body. Violet flames burned her from the inside out, boiling her blood and dissolving her flesh.

  The girl she used to be couldn’t fight anymore. It pained her to admit the truth and to be unable to stop it. She always felt it on the inside, and she denied it. She was a girl, not a weed, not a flower, not a Flame. She clung to the idea of everything that made her corporeal: curls of snow-white hair, a heart beating in her chest, breath flushing in and out of her lungs. She didn’t have those things anymore. She felt ...nothing.

  Remnants of her body hit the magma. The liquid rocks devoured her limbs, leaving the girl she used to be far behind. The two fires became one, the amethyst flames snaking through the river of lava, melding, shifting, sizzling with intensity and pressure. She couldn’t feel pain anymore. Instead, the Flame took over, replacing everything that was normal about her with everything that was destructive.