Sit! Stay! Speak!

by Annie England Noblin

  “I’ll make sure she’s comfortable,” Jasper said.

  “I know,” Addie replied. “I know you’re mad at me. But I’m not sorry for what I did.”

  For the first time that night Jasper smiled. “I know you’re not,” he said. “I know you’re not.”

  Addie turned to leave but stopped at the door. She watched him for a moment until he looked up at her. Their eyes met, and it took all her strength not to turn around and walk away. Instead she said to him, “Are you embarrassed of me?”

  “What?”

  “Embarrassed.” Addie shifted from one foot to the other. “Are you embarrassed of me? To be seen with me?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Come on, Jasper,” she replied. “You act like you hardly know me when Doc is around. When anybody is around. You touch me in hallways, in bathrooms. You don’t want to be seen leaving my house.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You wouldn’t even take me to work.”

  “Are you still mad about that?”

  “Forget it,” Addie said. “Just forget it.”

  Jasper followed her outside and into the sticky summer night. “Wait.” He grabbed her arm. “Just wait for a second, will you?”

  “Let go of me.” Addie tried to shrug him off her.

  “No.” Jasper’s grip tightened. “Listen to me.”

  “I’ve been waiting for weeks to listen to you.”

  “Listen to me now.”

  “What? What do you have to say?”

  Jasper hesitated. He let go of her arm, looking away from her.

  Addie pushed him out of her way. “That’s what I thought.”

  This time, when Jasper grabbed her, he didn’t let go. Before she could say another word, he slammed his mouth against hers, hard. The force surprised her, and Addie lost her footing. She tumbled to the ground, pulling Jasper along with her.

  “Are you okay?” Jasper asked in between feverish kisses.

  Addie nodded. She couldn’t think. All of her energy was wrapped up in Jasper on top of her. His mouth and his hands searching in the dark.

  He pushed her skirt up toward her breasts, lingering for a second on her blue lace panties. He cupped his hands around her buttocks and pulled her panties down in one swift motion. They shriveled at her ankles. Addie lifted herself up to him, begging him with her body, but he pushed her back down into the ground, his mouth leaving her lips to kiss his way down into her nakedness.

  Addie cried out and grabbed at Jasper, her hands grazing the top of his sweat-soaked head. She dug her fingers deep into his hair. When his mouth finally returned to hers, she wrapped herself around him until their bodies were synchronized.

  THEY LAY THERE together, bodies entwined, staring up into the Arkansas sky. Addie had never beheld such a clear night, never lost count of the stars above her. There was nothing she wanted more than this night, this man, and for the first time in her life she could see, really and truly see, what was in front of her.

  Felix was snoring in his bed when Addie got home. He didn’t even look up as she came inside. “Some guard dog you are,” she mumbled. She didn’t understand how someone could have abused him. He was so sweet and gentle, even after everything he’d been through. Even after—she knew, despite what Jasper said—even after Felix survived Redd. Redd had shot that dog as if it were nothing, as if he—she shuddered—had taken a life before. Addie wondered if Redd had shot Felix himself. She wondered how many times Felix had been chewed up and spit out before Redd and his friends had decided he was no longer of use. She wondered how many other dogs had suffered the same fate as Felix—dogs that nobody had saved.

  Addie stood up to walk to the bathroom, feeling sick to her stomach. Felix heard her and stirred out of his sleep. He looked up at her expectantly. She crouched down next to him, putting her forehead up to his, just like she’d done with Delilah. Felix licked her face.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered to him. “I’m just so sorry.”

  CHAPTER 31

  “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THE LAST FEW DAYS?” WANDA ASKED Addie as they sat in Addie’s kitchen. “I called you a million times before you answered.”

  “I’m sorry,” Addie replied, placing a hot dog in a bun. “I just needed a few days to myself, that’s all.”

  “Well, you could have told me that,” Wanda mumbled. “Bobby’ll be leaving pretty soon. Headed to Mississippi with that new company. Thanks again for being a reference. I’m throwing him a big party later today. The man ain’t never lived anywhere else ’cept with Doreen for what amounted to about two weeks.”

  “I thought he was a long-haul trucker for years.”

  “He was. But he always comes back here to sleep.”

  “Oh, well, I think a party is a great idea.”

  “I want you to come,” Wanda replied. “I don’t like most of his friends. They take advantage. I love Bobby. He’s my only brother. But he’s so dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.”

  “Let me guess,” Addie said. “Something your granny used to say?”

  “You got it. And she used to say it about Bobby.”

  “Well, I’d love to come. But I don’t want to impose.”

  Wanda stuck a fork into her macaroni and cheese. “It’s only imposin’ if I don’t invite ya.”

  “Well, I don’t know any of Bobby’s friends,” Addie said. She hadn’t seen Bobby since that night at Redd’s, and she wasn’t itching to see him again anytime soon.

  “Please?”

  “I just don’t want to be in the way.”

  “You didn’t have any other plans, did you?”

  “Nope.”

  “I thought maybe the reason you hadn’t been callin’ is because you were shacked up with Jasper Floyd.”

  “You know better than that.”

  “Do I?”

  Addie wanted to tell her the truth. She wanted to tell her about Delilah, and Bobby, and everything she saw at the house on the cobblestone street. She wanted to tell her about Jasper, about everything with Jasper. But she couldn’t. Even if Jasper hadn’t made her promise—she couldn’t. “Yes, you do,” Addie said finally.

  “Speaking of men,” Wanda said, a mischievous smile appearing on her face, “Loren Bartwell told me he thinks you’re pretty cute.”

  “Who?”

  “He said he met you at Jasper’s farm. He’s a farmhand there.”

  “Oh!” Addie replied. “Yeah, I met him once. He’s young, Wanda. He can’t be any more than twenty.”

  “He’s twenty-five. And he’s good-looking.”

  “Not interested.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m just not,” Addie replied. “Besides, he looks like trouble to me.”

  “He looks like fun.”

  “Then why don’t you date him?”

  “I’m too old for him.”

  “You’re not that old.”

  “Old enough to know better.”

  “And you were trying to pawn him off on me!” Addie exclaimed. “Some friend you are.”

  “I wasn’t trying to get you to marry him. I just thought he could help you take your mind off . . . things.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Wanda rolled her eyes down at Bryar who shrugged his shoulders as if he knew what the two women were talking about.

  “This bun is soggy,” he said. “Miss Addie, you are not all right.”

  Addie gave Bryar the best smile she could muster. She was fine, she guessed. She was fine for a woman who was keeping secrets from her only friend for at least two thousand miles. She was fine for a woman who couldn’t stop thinking about a man she couldn’t have, and she was fine for a woman who had landed herself smack-dab in the middle of an illegal dogfighting ring that she couldn’t do a damn thing about.

  Yep. Adelaide Andrews was just fine.

  “Here,” she sai
d to Bryar, handing him a plate. “Try my Ooey Gooey Butter Cake. You’ll have to tell me what you think.”

  Wanda eyed Addie suspiciously. “You’re still baking?”

  Addie shrugged. “I’m just trying a few things.”

  Bryar was still focused on his hot dog in the soggy bun and didn’t even notice when Wanda took the plate from his hands. She took a bite. “Addie, this is good.” She took another bite. “No, this is amazing. It tastes just like your aunt’s!”

  “Just like it?”

  “Hmmm . . .” Wanda chewed thoughtfully. “Not exactly like it. There’s another flavor there, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

  Addie grinned, this time with no effort at all. “It’s my special ingredient. I added something that wasn’t in the recipe.”

  “Well, slap my ass and call me Sally!” Wanda exclaimed. She motioned for Addie to bring the entire pan of cake over to the table. “You may just belong right here in Dixie.”

  By the time Addie said good-bye to Wanda and Bryar, changed her clothes, and managed to get out to Jasper’s house, all the lights were off. She knocked on the front door. When he didn’t answer, she knocked again and said, “Jasper? Are you there? It’s Addie . . . I . . . I just came to check on Delilah.”

  Addie heard Delilah bark, and after a few seconds there was a thumping around inside the house. She stepped back when the porch light flickered on and the door opened.

  Jasper stood in front of her rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry. I must’ve fallen asleep.”

  Addie felt a wave of relief wash over her. It was irrational, she knew, but for a few terrible seconds, she’d thought maybe Jasper wasn’t alone. Felix rushed out from behind her and into the house, needing no invitation. Delilah waddled happily after him. “She looks even bigger than she did last week,” Addie managed to say.

  “I think she’s going to be having the puppies soon.” Jasper stepped aside for Addie to enter. “Every time I came to check on her today she was nesting.”

  “Nesting?”

  “Yeah, it’s what dogs . . . what all pregnant animals do, really . . . to prepare for birth. She’s been tearing newspaper, ripping up the old blankets I gave her, and gathering toys over in that corner to create a nest.”

  Delilah and Felix were curled up together, and Delilah was licking the insides of Felix’s ears. “Are you ready to be a mommy?” Addie asked her. “You look like you’re ready to pop!”

  “I’m glad she’s focusing her attention on Felix,” Jasper said. “She’s been grooming herself like crazy and pacing around the house.”

  “It amazes me that she even likes dogs. She can’t have had too many good experiences with dogs or people living where she did.”

  “Dogs are resilient.”

  “Well, they shouldn’t have to be.” Addie knelt down and stroked Delilah’s head. “I brought her some more blankets and food.”

  “You look nice.” Jasper looked Addie up and down. “Are you headed somewhere after this?”

  “Thanks.” Addie crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Wanda is having a going-away party for Bobby.”

  “I heard Bobby got a job.”

  “Yeah, somewhere down in Mississippi?”

  “That’s what my mom said. They’re headed down that direction for a week or two. My dad made some joke about hoping they didn’t meet him on the road.”

  “So you’re here alone?”

  “Yep.”

  “Then I’ll stay with you,” Addie said.

  “Go on to the party. Wanda will never forgive you if you don’t go,” Jasper said. “I’ve known Wanda a long time. You don’t want her sore at you.”

  “I don’t want to leave you all alone.”

  Jasper rolled his eyes. “I hate to break it to you, but I’ve been alone before.”

  “I was just trying to be nice.”

  “I know you were.”

  Addie stood there awkwardly. She wasn’t sure what else to say, but she knew she had to say something. The tension between the two of them was driving her crazy. “Jasper, do you want to talk about things?”

  “What things?”

  “You know, things between us.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a conversation I’m ready to have,” Jasper replied.

  “Look,” Addie began, “I don’t want to be the girl who needs some sort of definition, but I’m tired of secrets. I’m tired of not knowing the answers to so many things. To everything. I don’t need for everything to make sense, but I’d like it if I had just a few more pieces of the puzzle.”

  Jasper took a step toward her, but he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “That’s just not something I can give you right now.”

  Addie bit the bottom of her lip. “I’ve got to go.” She thought maybe he’d say something, anything to keep her from leaving like he had the night she brought Delilah. That seemed to be what they were best at—feverish refusals to leave. But Jasper said nothing, and Addie realized that she was going to have to make good on her threat. Without another word, she opened the door to his house and walked back through it.

  CHAPTER 32

  CARS WERE LINED UP ON EITHER SIDE OF THE STREET WHEN Addie arrived at Wanda’s house. She didn’t recognize any of them, and the way she was feeling, she wished she’d just gone home and made up an excuse. Surely Wanda would forgive her for being sick or possessed or caught up in the zombie apocalypse.

  “Addie!” Wanda flung open the door. “Come in! Come in!”

  “Sorry I’m late.” Addie put on her best smile.

  “Where have you been?”

  “I couldn’t figure out what to wear.”

  “You couldn’t answer the phone to tell me that?”

  “I guess I didn’t hear the phone.” She avoided looking directly at her friend. Wanda had a way of being able to tell when someone was lying, and this was especially true when it came to Addie. Looking directly at Wanda was a little like looking directly at the sun. Blink once at the glare and she’d call your bluff.

  “Well, you look great,” Wanda said. “Let’s get you something to drink.”

  “I haven’t worn this in forever.” Addie glanced down at her denim skirt and black silk tank top. “It’s nothing fancy, but this is my favorite skirt.”

  “Nothin’ fancy is my motto for life.” Wanda handed Addie a red plastic cup filled with an amber-colored liquid. “Drink up, sugar.”

  Addie took a sip and winced. “This is awful!”

  “I know.”

  “Why did you give it to me?”

  “Because you look like you needed it.”

  “I do, but I don’t want to throw it back up. Don’t you have beer or anything?”

  “Loren would love to get you a beer.” Wanda nodded toward the couch in the living room. “He was starting to think you stood him up.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Just go over there and talk to him.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Don’t be rude.”

  “I’m not being rude.”

  “Yes you are. He’s watching us.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “I didn’t tell him anything other than that you’d be here,” Wanda whispered. “I also might have told him that you are not, in fact, dating Jasper Floyd.”

  “That’s true,” Addie muttered. She wished the words didn’t sound so resolute, but there they were, out there for everyone to hear. She was not dating Jasper Floyd. He’d made that very clear. She cringed as she thought about how she’d asked him if he wanted to talk.

  “Just go talk to him,” Wanda said, shoving Addie forward. “Stop looking around like one of these people ran over Felix and try to have a good time. It’s not going to kill you to talk to him.”

  Addie tugged at the hem of her skirt. Squeezing past a group of people having a heated conversation about Chinese food, she made her way over to the couch. With his thick hair and dark features, Loren was goo
d-looking; of course it wasn’t going to kill her to talk to him.

  “Hi there, Adelaide,” he said. His drawl was thicker than Wanda’s, slower. “Have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?”

  “A beer would be great,” Addie replied.

  “Be right back.”

  Addie sighed and leaned back onto the couch. She avoided Wanda by looking down at her hands. She couldn’t stop thinking about what Jasper had said to her. If that wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have, then she wasn’t prepared to sit around and wait for him.

  “Here ya go, sweetheart.” Loren sat down next to her. “Coors Light okay?”

  “Not really, but I’ll live.” She didn’t like him calling her sweetheart, even though she knew it was more a southern thing than it was Loren being patronizing. Still, she didn’t like it.

  “Too good for cheap beer?” Loren’s dimples deepened.

  “I’m not too good for cheap beer. But I am too good for crappy beer.” Addie took a swig from the bottle.

  Loren let out a hearty laugh and ran a tanned hand through his thick, dark hair. “That’s all that’s left, so I apologize if I’ve offended your delicate palate.”

  “You don’t sound much like a farmhand.”

  “Is there a certain way a farmhand is supposed to sound?”

  “I just mean that you don’t sound like most farmhands I’ve met.”

  “And how many farmhands have you met?”

  “You don’t sound like Clyde.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m in trouble if you’re comparing me to Clyde.”

  “I guess you’re right,” Addie said. “It’s not really fair to compare you to Clyde. He’s such a gentleman.”

  “You’re a clever girl, Miss Addie.”

  “Thanks.” Addie sank back into the couch. Maybe being called sweetheart wasn’t so bad.

  “Wanda tells me you’re from Chicago.”

  “I am,” Addie replied. “What about you? You’re not from Eunice, are you?”

  “I’m originally from Jackson.”

  “Mississippi?”